American Pie Presents The Naked Mile (2006)I gave this one a shot just because sometimes I believe the good DTV movies get overwhelmed by the huge amount of total garbage that gets put out DTV. Heck I can even find a few DTV Disney animated films I like (Bambi 2, Lion King 1 1/2) and while I will give them credit for indeed giving us a naked mile (BEWBS, BUTTS, ABS) this one was a chore to get thru. If you've seen any of the first 3 American Pie movies then you've seen this except in this one all the guys are douchebags and the jokes are almost nonexistent. Eugene Levy does show up for a couple of scenes to collect what I hope is a sweet paycheck and that's pretty much it. While I checked and this movie wasn't made at Universal Orlando theme park it feels very much like one that should have been just like Bring it on 4: In it To Win It and Ace Ventura Pet Detective Jr, they are filmed in focus and are completely disposable- they should have done that though, it would have been pretty fun if the naked mile ran right by King Kong.
Caligula (1979)Malcolm McDowell, Helen Mirren, Peter O'Toole, and spliced in hardcore sex acts. There was probably a good movie somewhere in all the footage that was shot for this thing (I mean with the actual actors, not so much the stuff they filmed later with the Penthouse Pets), but at the end of the day the creation of this film seems more interesting than the film itself. It's a shame because even for all his overacting McDowell's performance almost feels like something that wouldn't be out of place in an HBO or Netflix series about Caligula.
The Immoral Mr. Teas (1959) (first time viewing)I went with Russ Meyer's first movie. We follow a dentist equipment salesman on his route. We watch as he stares intensely and creepily at cleavage and bare breasts all day. There is no talking, just a monotonous narrator and some goofy repetitive music. I'm glad this was only an hour.
Love (2015)Gaspar Noe pushes the line between drama and straight pornography to its limit here. I can't remember how I heard about this film. I think it was mentioned on the podcast or maybe a different podcast, either way I did not find the film to be enjoyable. The main character was very troubled and almost seemed bored with the love making that he partakes in. The camera work is interesting but, to be honest, it is also downright distracting at times. I never thought I would be bored with sex scenes in a film, but I guess the thrill has kind of been taken away from us with the technology we have today (as previously mentioned on the podcast a few times). It was fine, but I expected better.
Doris Wishman's LET ME DIE A WOMAN (1977, 78 min.) in 35mm at NYC Film Forum's 'Genre Is A Woman' retrospective for the first time. Also available on YouTube [NSFW].Exploitation queen and Ed Wood-wannabe Doris Wishman ("Nude on the Moon," "A Night to Dismember," etc.) tries to be profound and deep about transgender people. But nope, her innate ability to fuck everything up sinks this documentary into an awkward laugh riot. It has the most hilariously inappropriate, at-odds-with-what's-on-screen soundtrack (goofy 50's educational tunes, then spooky/scary music during pornographic sex re-enactments) that's ever been paired with moving imagery. Graphic footage of sex reassignment surgery (still far less disturbing than any 10 min. stretch in "Prometheus"), pontificating Dr. Leo Wollman awkwardly reading lines from cue cards, ADR-deficient group therapy sessions and a never-ending parade of filmmaking ineptitude got either unintentional laughs or repressed gasps from the crowd in attendance at Film Forum. Because #Pinealectomysploitation!I sincerely hope Deborah Harten, the transgender woman interviewed and asked by Dr. Wollman to disrobe and have sex on camera (the doc's voice cracking when describing his patients' attractiveness had me howling from laughter), became an adult film actress after SRS. Otherwise her scenes take on a whole new level of creepiness. Cool poster, abysmally hilarious documentary. Don't believe me? Click the YouTube link above. Better yet, please don't. :-(
Amazing. Wishman is becoming one of my favorite directors. After JB's write up of Bad Girls Go to Hell (which is the 2nd best movie I think I've seen this year) I've watched Night to Dismember which is just as amazing. I planned to get to another Wishman flick today and more throughout the year. She's a genius.
Although after seeing Loose Screws (Screwballs 2) for Junesploitation ('14 or '15?) which is so much fun, I still gotta get to Screwballs 1. TOO MANY MOVIES!
Basic Instinct (1992)Erotic murder mystery with plenty of lady parts. Enough twists and turns to keep it interesting. Obviously the leg cross scene got all the attention back in the day. It was my only reference point before watching. Had no clue of the actual plot. Michael Douglas, as the hero?, is a total creep.Sleeping with Other People (2015)Not an exploitation movie by any stretch, but I like the actors involved and needed something light. Didn't really connect. Good banter between everyone with enough laughs, but at an unsteady pace. Switches back and forth between raunchy comedy, to romcom, to drama, to happy coincidence, to sad coincidence.
I saw Sleeping with Other People a while back, and what I liked about it were the main characters' friends, the couple played by Jason Mantzoukas and Andrea Savage. They had chemistry and I would've much rather spent more time with them than the main characters.
Mantzoukas over Sudeikis? Hmm...
The thing is everyone kind of feels like support characters. The Sudeikies/Brie storyline gets extended that at some point there's a disconnect from the will they, won't they hook. Make a decision. The Zouks/Savage story was interesting. Chemistry for sure. Felt like a real thing as, yes, couples do hang out together, enjoy each other and can raise children and be happy. Not sure there's a full movie there without turning into a This is 40 type of vibe and inserting highjinks for the sake of conflict.Adam Scott also has an interesting character and would've been nice to see his motivation.Perfect ending about 20 minutes before the credits, then it get drawn out and cliched.
That leg cross scene might be the most paused shot it history?I can't think of another, my thumb gets soar just thinking about it
The night Evelyn came out of the grave (1971) - First viewingIt's the weekend so I may join back into Junesploitation! I saw Patrick mention this the other day, thought I'd check it out. I have never seen any Italian horror, so this was really interesting. I got a very Hellraiser vibe from it, maybe it's the whole European horror thing. It was sort of a blend of sexual thriller, melodrama, crime, it even felt a bit like a period piece just because of how it takes place on an estate. Thought the performances were really strong. I was very confused as to where the main character ends up by the close of the film, and that sort of bugged me. I also just watched The Texas Chainsaw Massacre for the first time, thought I'd mention it here. I probably should have waited for tomorrow, but I think I'll watch Dawn of the Dead so that fulfils the slot too. I just was in the right mood. It was soo great, loved it, thought the last half hour especially was something special. Anyway, I'm sure you all know why that movie is so great!
Alvin Purple, or Sex Therapist (1973)This is a werid Australian classic of sorts. It was the most successful Aussie movie upon its release (according to Wikipedia). Even though it is mostly a 90 minute Links commerical. Waterbed salesman Alvin Purple is irristable to women, they cannot get enough. So much so that he goes to therapy. This is very very silly, with more bad penis puns than all the American Pies and Porkies put together. Even though the central love story was kinda sweet, I am not sure if this was soft porn with jokes or a comedy with with a ton of nudity. But I found it more of a curiosity more than funny.
Up (1976)Russ Meyer's crime thriller with murder, rape, nazis, a barbarian lumberjack, a super human sheriff and a killer piranha. An intriguing who done it that keeps you guessing til the end as to who the murderer is. Like most other Russ Meyer movies the strong story and characters are central with the glue that keeps everything running smoothly being plenty of bare breasts, butts and full frontal nudity. Miss Marple never looked this good.
Roger Ebert supposedly did an uncredited re-write of "Up!" under a pseudonym as a favor for Meyer. That explains why the story has a through line and sense of cohesiveness, and big boobs!
Devil in the Flesh 2 (2000)The word “contrived” does not do this movie justice. Deranged sexpot Debbie breaks out of a mental institution and fortunately runs into a young woman named Tracy with a similar appearance. So similar, as it turns out, that after a fortuitous accident Debbie is able to impersonate Tracy and attend the college to which Tracy was headed. Even though Tracy is well-known at the college because her dad essentially built their stadium, no one realizes this is a faux Tracy. She then fortuitously runs into an English professor whose book she just happens to have read (in a previous life, maybe). Debbie/Tracy develops an obsessive fixation on the unlucky and clueless dude, and at long last the plot is off and running. As nutty as this plot is, the movie itself isn’t terrible. Jodi Lyn O’Keefe plays Debbie well. Even though Debbie is manipulative and murderous, it’s hard not to root for her when she’s leveling obnoxious jocks with her snark.
Cheerleaders Wild Weekend (aka The Great American Girl Robbery (1979, dir. Jeff Werner)This is probably the most traditional exploitation movie I've seen all month so far, meaning it's kind of boring and drastically changes tones every 5-10 minutes. Is this a comedy? A drama? A thriller? Yes to all, but also no. A busload of cheerleaders is hijacked by terrorists and the girls are held hostage for a few days. Aside from some early nudity and one mid-movie bath sequence, this isn't at all the sexploitation movie promised by the title (or the participation of Kristine DeBell). I'm happy to have seen it, but once was enough.
Private House of the SS (1977, dir. Bruno Mattei)Initially saving this one for Nazis! then decided it had enough gratuitous nudity - and considerably less torture - to satisfy today's theme. Essentially a Salon Kitty knockoff that never quite attains the bonkers heights of the training montage at the outset, then turns into a Movie With Something to Say in the final act. There are the borderline grotesque caricatures you'd expect from the genre - wide eyed lead Gabriele Carrara in full makeup decked out as a Nazi Pope is a sight to behold - but the proceedings aren't nearly erotic enough to sustain its runtime. I haven't seen any other Nazisploitation movies to know how this one stacks up, so we'll have to wait and see.
Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987)One minute and thirty-six seconds. That's how long you have to wait for the first topless shot in this jiggle-fest. To this I say: bless you, Andy Sidaris. For those who never experienced life before the internet, Andy Sidaris was a filmmaker who specialized in movies that were shown on late-night cable, to be taped and watched on VHS (mostly on fast-forward) by adolescent boys. Boobs and violence were the order of the day, and it was good and we were grateful. Also, this one features an awesome killer snake puppet that makes it worth watching even without all the gratuitous nudity. You won't find any complex female characters, but you won't find any complex male characters either, it's all about the boobs and the squibs. Hooray for consistency, at least.
Sidaris movies make me feel like I'm having a stroke. But in a good way.
Who likes Big boobs, Sweaty and quite artfully shot? Bitchslap 2009 This film is a clunky film with too much exposition, not the best dialogue and questionable acting But for a boys movie night it certainly makes you all smile, sex is the main weapon in this movies arseanal, (Arse-Anal, I like it). sexplotation through and through, the three main girls actually stop filming the movie for 5 mins and in slow motion throw water over each other, basically if you like Cleavage, guns, swearing, lesbians, fighting and a learing Dp, its kinda got the pornographic lens of Michael bay, I know its on the nose and I should not enjoy it but with friends this film is lots of fun, I think I need a box of tissues
Virgin Witch (1971)Not really expecting to make a cool discovery on sexploitation day. Too often these flicks are heavy on the moralizing leading to bummer endings. This Brit horror story is set in a high end fashion coven run by Patricia Haines. I was unfamiliar with this veteran TV actress and was super impressed. The direction is solid which can be a nice change during Junesplotation and the music (by Ted Dicks!!) is truly excellent. Here's the theme:https://youtu.be/JaSMcasifmk
Zeta One (1969)Possibly one of the most ridiculous movies I've ever seen. I fell asleep twice and it still made as much sense while I was awake as it did while I was sleeping. A planet or dimension of naked super women come to earth to kidnap human women (and sometimes men) to repopulate their planet. The plot is told by a secret agent who is trying to stop them? It's hard to say because the plot is being told in bed to a mysterious naked women, but the end of his story the movie almost overlaps with him being in bed telling the story. Really it makes less sense than the weak summary I just gave. The characters are incredibly underdeveloped and interchangeable. The plot is made up as it goes along. The last half hour is so confusingly batshit insane, but it's almost wort watching the whole movie for. If you can get through the weird 10 minute opening strip poker scene, then you might be able to tolerate the rest of the film. And like any good sexploitation flick, any and every possible reason for female characters to undress is present. If you're getting bored, fall asleep, and when you wake up more naked women will appear.
THE GREAT BIKINI OFF-ROAD ADVENTURE (1994) To save sacred Native American land from a greedy developer, three hotties raise money by hosting desert jeep tours while clad only in bikinis (or less). It’d be the greatest movie ever, except that nobody gets stabbed by a submarine sandwich or gets his ding-dong ripped off.BIKINI DRIVE-IN (1995) To save the neighborhood drive-in from being bought by a greedy developer, some hotties raise money by putting a bikini-themed spin on the place. (Sensing a theme here…) This one’s really slow paced, with hardly any jokes, and it’s not until the 50-minute mark that they finally get the idea to go bikini. What a snoozer. BIKINI BEACH RACE (1992) A bunch of dorks hit the beach to join a high-stakes bed race (!) against the rich snobs. The filmmakers, who are apparently insane, must have wanted something silly or absurd happening in every single shot, because that’s what happens. It’s an onslaught of wackiness. The filmed-by-camcorder aesthetic seemingly confirms that this is a movie made by escaped maniacs.
Wild Things 2 (2004)Wild Things was a fun, trashy movie that knew exactly what it was. But who had the bright idea of making it into a franchise?Wild Things 2 is kinda like the first movie, except the writing is worse and the actors aren't that great. In fact, the "sequel" is so similar to the first one, not one of the "twists" is a surprise if you've seen Wild Things. And who's gonna watch Wild Things 2 without seeing Wild Things?
Sex in the Comix(s) (2012 dir. Joelle Oosterlinvk) on Netflix.A French Made-for-TV documentary about the history of erotic-themed comic books. Several comic book writers/artists are interviewed, the most famous being Robert Crumb. As anyone who has watched "Crumb" can attest to, he is a interesting character. Crumb's wife, Aline Kominsky, is also interviewed and has amusing stories about her relationship with Crumb. Most of the other interview subjects are from France, Japan, Germany and Italy, but are rushed compared to Crumb's segments. In fact, the whole documentary feels incomplete and discussion about more controversial elements involving eroticism in comics(primarily sexual images involving minors) are brought up half-hazardly. Molly Crabapple, the host/narrator, really doesn't offer much except some awkward skits. Overall, a missed opportunity.
Inserts (1975, dir. John Byrum, on DVD) – First Time Viewing: 70’s era Richard Dreyfuss, Veronica Cartwright, and Jessica Harper making 30’s era adult movies and saying and doing very dirty things. Rated NC-17. In other words: JUNESPLOITATION WIN (5 out of 5 Griers).
Pets (1974, dir. Raphael Nussbaum)Not what I was expecting! Felt like three smaller movies crammed into one, combining elements of Black Mama, White Mama and Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, but with much fewer laughs and a more ambiguous and confusing sense of morality than either. It also really takes its time building up to revealing how truly deranged it actually is. I don't know who I would recommend this to, but if you're adventurous, patient, not aesthetically demanding or quick to be offended, there's enough of an off-balance appeal here to make it worth your while. Here's a trailer that you probably shouldn't watch either.
Olga's Girls (1964, dir. Joseph P. Mawra)Goddamn, I love these dumb Olga movies, and now I think I've seen all of them. Poor sadistic lesbian ur-bitch Olga only wants to run her prostitution/heroin ring as efficiently as possible, but her bumbling, seditious slavegirls keep stealing her dope or ratting her out to the fuzz, and she's constantly being forced to waste her precious time torturing them in response. All the Olga movies are essentially silent, loosely related B&W vignettes of early 60s pin-up girls suffering increasingly gruesome but very unconvincing physical punishment by Olga in her "Cape of Persuasion". Context is provided by an omniscient, Jack Webb-ian narrator and auditory glimpses into Olga's own inner thoughts. "Night on Bald Mountain" plays over and over again. These are stupid, shapeless, pointless movies, and I'm so happy they exist. Trailer.
The Pom Pom Girls (1976, dir. Joseph Ruben)Horrible. Soul-crushing. I guess this is trying to be the high school equivalent of M*A*S*H (a movie I also hated,) but all it did was make me sad. In what universe is Robert Carradine a sexually irresistible, nigh-invincible football hero? I guess it's the same universe in which any character from this movie isn't considered a dangerous psychopath. Terrible garbage. Don't suspect I'll see a worse movie the rest of this month. Fuck a trailer.
Go, Go, Second Time Virgin (1969)WELL. That was a thing...Japanese rape-revenge(ish) movie. Has a pretty heavy French New Wave feel, even (seemingly randomly) shifts to black and white with a poppy jazz score about half way through. Thanks Rebecca McKendry for pointing this one out... I think.
One Million Years B.C.I’m not sure this is sexploitation, but I sure thought about sex throughout.In all seriousness, this film features wonderful special effects by Ray Harryhausen. There are all kinds of dinosaurs and giant turtles that make this film truly worthwhile. Did I mention Raquel Welch?Twins of EvilSince I wasn’t sure that the previous film was up to snuff, I watched Twins of Evil. It’s the third entry in the Karnstein Trilogy of Hammer films, which all feature sexy vampires in various states of undress. I know that JB has expressed his disappointment at this film on the Massacre podcast from two years ago, but I was at that Massacre and loved it—so much so that I purchased the blu-ray. I haven’t watched it since then, but it held up for me.The title is slightly inaccurate because only one of the twins (played by Madeleine and Mary Collinson) is evil. They come under the ward of their uncle, Gustav Weil (Peter Cushing), who is a puritanical witch hunter. One of the twins, Frieda, becomes obsessed with the dashing Count Karnstein (Damien Thomas). Of course, Karnstein has made a deal with the devil and takes Frieda as his vampire mistress—and all hell breaks loose!This film seems to simultaneously confirm and condemn Christianity, which is standard practice for the Hammer vampire flicks. I’m always down for some Romantic period costumes, especially when said costumes come off. Personally, I think this is one of the best paced Hammer films, and definitely worth a watch, especially since you get to hear Peter Cushing deliver the line “the devil has sent me twins of evil!”
Yes to "Twins of Evil".
Dressed to Kill (1980, dir. Brian De Palma)A stretch, sure, but I had a rare evening to myself and saw this up on HBO. I'd heard it was great, but didn't know much of anything about it. Man, it's one helluva movie. People throw around the term "Hitchcockian" but I can't think of a film that nails that feeling better. The plot developments are surprising enough to hit hard while also being predictable enough to appreciate the way De Palma puts it all together, taking Hitchcock's style and themes and ratcheting it up to sexy-scary new places. I wasn't sure what kind of movie I wanted to watch for today, or if I even wanted to bother finding something to fit the category. I'm so glad I finally decided to give this movie a spin.
At Last, At Last (1975)Back-in-the-day when my best friend Adam and I would go to Blockbuster with our parents before a sleepover, we'd rent two kinds of movies: a horror movie and a movie with boobs. Usually the horror movie would have nudity, but just in case we made sure we had a backup. Our all-time favorite was a movie called You've Got To Have Heart. It's an Italian sex comedy and it blew our 13 year old minds. Years later I went searching for it and found it under the title At Last, At Last. I bought a copy of it on DVD and watched it for the first time in YEARS tonight. Not a very good movie, but that's okay. It was so much fun to revisit.
Nude on the Moon (1961) Dirs. Raymond Phelan (as Anthony Brooks), Doris Wishman (as Anthony Brooks)2nd film directed by Wishman and I liked it and it's really boring. The ridiculous cuts, bad ADR and choppy aesthetic is gone from this one. It's coherently made which takes away it's charm. Still, there is some fun to be had especially if you like boobies. There is no reason to tell you the plot but I will plop a plea here:Something I love about Wishman - she puts legit ladies in her films (from what I've seen so far) - Gigi is up there in my top ten now! with Sherilyn still holding strong at #1 since '92. So, that being said I must use this space to please ask that Hollywood stop making actresses starve themselves to death?! It's driving me insane and it's getting to the point of lunacy. I'm sorry if you disagree but Gal Godot, Margot Robbie, Amber Heard and almost every girl from Game of Thrones look the same. Shit, I can't even tell the difference sometimes. So, really, just please give me Connelly back and stop doing this to actresses!!! :(
I saw Elizabeth Olson in a subway last year and she was about oh, 20x thinner than how she appears onscreen. I also saw the costume Saoirse Ronan wore on her first date scene in Brooklyn- it's about 20x smaller than how it appears onscreen as well. That means that the camera is adding like 20+ lbs to your appearance? Wow. Aside from having a bigger chest and some baby pudge on her, I don't think Jennifer Connelly in Career Opportunities looks much different size-wize actually. She did have fuller features, like full eyebrows and a lot of cute baby fat on her face.
Whoa, my grammar is awful after some drinks, sorry :) It really is a shame, I feel terrible for these actresses that are essentially being told they have to look a certain way. Hollywood is an evil, evil place.
Gimme curves, I don't like it either, seeing as this is Sexplotation and we can be a bit sexy here is a joke for Chaybee about what you said Damn it have you seen Victoria Beckham these days? I bet it's like having Sex with a Xylophone
What?! Haha, fuckin' hell Dennis, you just made me spit out my coffee.
Nymphomaniac: Vol. II (2013)Bleh... A pointless, aimless, ugly mess.
Maybe this is a pointless question but I'll ask it anyway. Did you see Nymphomaniac: Vol. I?
I did. It was much better, but still kinda... not great? These are the only Lars von Trier movies I've seen so maybe I'd have a different opinion if I was more used to his style (though I did know what I in for with these movie so who knows).
Groper Train: Wedding Capriccio (1984)So apparently this is just one title of whole series of Groper Train movies made in Japan. The movie opens and within minutes we are on a crowded train, where a character quite explicitly gropes a female, who initially resists, but quickly become into it. This is repeated a handful of times throughout the movies short running time. The actual story is a detective one. 1/3 detective, 1/3 train groping, 1/3 random explicit sex scenes. I understand the groping is supposed to be for comedic effect, but it didn't really work for me.There is one scene that IS funny however, where the guy literally gropes every female on the train! It's all done in fast motion, and ends with him groping a dude instead. 5 stars for being original, but not something I'd recommend, other than a curiosity.
Secretary - 2002Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader in a BDSM film! Got to love it, weirdly seems like the original 50 Shades of Grey seeing as Spader's character is also called Mr Grey and a fascination with punishing women, very peculiar, but good little film, both surprisingly sexy when i never considered either of them sexy before the film.
I wathen Joysticks again. It still wasn't a great movie, but it's funnier than it should be. It actually seems to resent having to do the few bits of nudity it has.
at random i picked something called Record City (1977) the opening titles had lots of potentially sexual attire of the period and suggestive body movements...camel toes all around even on the men...but alas it was like a porn script where they left out the porn....i made it about 2/3rds of the way through and then hanged myself in the closet with a curtain cord.
I have been laughing for two minutes straight. This story took a dark turn.
I've seen a lot of films but that ending caught me off guard
Class Reunion (1982)I'm still amazed about all these movies that I've never heard of.This is not a good movie but I kind of enjoyed myself. The thing is, I can't remember much about it. It's forgettable but harmless. People come back for their reunion but one of their classmates went crazy and wants to kill everyone. I think he made out with his twin or something. The chubby guy from Animal house tries to bang a blind chick. So, there's that. I wish it went crazier but it's at least watchable.
Secretary (2002)This movie left a lot of interesting ideas and visuals lingering in my head even days after watching it, so it must be a winner. I don't think I fully appreciated Maggie Gyllenhaal before watching this. What a force, that gal! She was perfect in this. It was also great to see Spader playing something a bit more mysterious and nuanced than the persona he's been working in recent years. The film's look was a lot more colorful and dreamy than I expected. Left me wondering, is the film supposed to be a straight storyline or just a beautiful, extended take on one damaged woman's simple fantasy?
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