Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN (2007) for the first time.Redneck kid snaps, becomes hulking killer wrestler.
Tim Burton's MISS PEREGRINE'S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN (2016) in 4DX 3D in theaters for the first time.At least it doesn't have swirly circles.orFrom the studio that made "X-Men"... THIS!
House of Usher (1960)If only Mike Holmes had been there. (._.)
Abbott and Costello meet Frankenstein (1948)Universal goes Looney Tunes and it's glorious.
Body Bags (1993)Every man's deepest fear: losing your hair.
Tarantula (1955)Agarophobia: Fear of open spaces containing Agar.
Dawn of the Dead (1978)Those lovable zombies before they were running.
Fright Knight (1985)The boy who turned Marcy D'Arcy gay
Creepshow (1982)Leslie Nielsen's terrifying, yet still oddly attractive
The Leopard Man (1943)Got bored, wondered what Leopardchaun'd be like.
Shin Godzilla (2016):Is Godzilla or bureaucracy the bigger threat?
The Purge: Election Year (2016)Visit the Lincoln Memorial when you visit!
Halloween III: Season of the WitchAll those masks but where's the Shatner
Contamination (1980)A space horror...this isn't at all.
Are you the former heavyweight boxing contender, Shannon...? Because that would be awesome.
Inside (unrated version, 2007) That's one sharp pair of scissors.
Ghoulies (1985)"Shoot in Italy! Cocaine is cheaper there."
Don't Breathe (2016):Are you sure that baster is clean?
The HowlingTransformation not as good as American Werewolf
The Descent: Part 2Expected suckage, but found it surprisingly good.
Ghoulies II (1988)Trump surrogate exploits hard-working immigrant Ghoulies.
The Legend of Hell House (1973)Is there a name for horny ghosts?
The Witch (2016) Public Notice: Free Wood; Beware of Goat.
Long Weekend (1978)Eagle eggs, a good metaphor for abortion. When A Stranger Calls (1979)The movie primarily responsible for helicopter parents.WolfcopHair of the dawg that split ya'.
Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny, and Girly (1970)This is the most confusing game ever.
Halloween Tree (1993)Ghost pip sure is a giant asshole.
Dead Heat (1988)The best horror buddy cop movie around
Lost boys (1987) Boy, that Corey Feldman sure can act.
The VVitch (2016)That wood was stacked way too high.
Frankenhooker (1990)Now this is B movie gold, trash-tastic!!
Slither (2006) Space slugs are ruggedly handsome, aren't they?
The Hitcher (2007)It's just like the original, but terrible.
Never Sleep Again (2010)Why can't all documentaries be this long?
Paranormal Activity 3 (2011)Sheets haven't been this horrifying since puberty
Pieces (1982)The world is poorer without Dick Shadows.
They're WatchingNot as scary as actual reality tv.
Cry Wolf (2006) And let slip the dogs of rumormongering.
Leprechaun (1993)I'd vote for this fucker over Trump.
The Vampire's Coffin (1958)The night was alive with flood lights!
WNUF Halloween Special (2013)Programming note: adjust your tracking, and expectations.
Nightmare Sisters (1988)These movies defined my awkward teenage years.
Microwave Massacre-(1983)That opening sequence sure was...something else.
House of the Long Shadows (1983)Vincent Price calls Christopher Lee a bitch
Cloverfield (2008)Too few rats in subway. Not realistic.
Maniac (1980)Not everyone can handle Yo Mama jokes.
Horns (2013) Harry Potter goes Slytherin. kinda liked it.
Christmas Evil (1980)My daughter's now terrified of Santa. Fantastic!
The Shining (1997) - Stephen King MarathonKiller topiary, that's what the original needed
Night of the Comet (1984)Catherine Mary Stewart is my final girl.
The Beyond (1981)My first Fulci, didn't finish my snacks.
Hannibal Rising (2007): Do DeLaurentiis films count as Italian horror?
Basket Case (1982)DeVito was struggling for work in 1982
Q: The Winged Serpent (1982)Moriarty is from a different planet, right?...
Cats eye It's safer to smoke than actually quit
Angel HeartI Sold my soul to Lucy fer
Poltergeist (1982)Patrick's Blumhouse article inspired me to revisit.
All Through the House (2016)Hedgeclipper Santa delivers stabbiest Christmas ever. Fun.
The Witch(2016)Black Philip, the Greatest Of All Time
Orphan(2009)Imagine if Brad and Angelina adopted her.
Slugs (1988)Not Mike Pence sure loves his Wendy's.
What Lies Beneath (2000)Deep marital issues, that's what lies beneath.
976-Evil II (1991) Why's astral projection bad for skin care?
Friday the 13th (1980): And then there was one . . . wait, ZOMBIE?
Or . . . "I think Mrs Voorhees has Man Hands"
Or ... "why did I watch this on Tuesday?"
House on Haunted Hill (1999)Peter Gallagher separated his eyebrows for this.
Tourist Trap (1979)33 and barely handled this nightmare fuel.
Strip Nude For Your Killer (1975)Bianchi takes giallo into Trump level sleaze.
The Thing (1982) What's cooler than being cool? Ice cold!
Krampus (2015):Or: How the Trump Voters Saved Christmas
Frailty (2001)Powers Booths fooled by obvious plot device.
The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh (1971) Someone buy Edwige Fenech clothes ! ... or not?
Prince Of DarknessPiss out your mouth, make people satan.
The Collector:Why not collect marbles instead? Less Effort.
Event Horizon (1997)This is my review of Event Horizon.
Blood Rage (1987)What is that thing in your hand?
The Shallows (2016) Sequel pitch: Bird comes back, seeking vengeance.
Phantasm: Ravager (2016)Reggie Bannister is Steven Segal without catchphrases
Sorry, had to fix spelling error...Phantasm: Ravager (2016)Reggie Bannister is Steven Seagal without catchphrases
Actually a better one might be:Phantasm: Ravager (2016)I didn't know Ted Nugent could act
The Devil's Rejects (2005)Worked with yellow glasses wearing dickhead once
Poltergeist (1982)Couldn't get any worse for them... shit.
Ghostbusters (1984)It's Ghostbusters, if you don't know already …
Prince of Darkness (1987)Do possessed grads pay student loans?
Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go To College (1991)Do Ghoulies pay out-of-state tuition? Kill List (2011)Wicker enthusiasts are poorly represented in horror.
Cujo (1983)Good boy, movie, that's a good movie.
Child's Play (1988)A pretty quiet weekend by Chicago standards.
The Fly (1958)Why the hell wasn't Jeff Goldblum warned?
Ghostbusters (2016)I'm boycotting my own seven word review.
Don't Go in the Woods (1981)Everyone should watch this film once...please!!
Kill List (2012)evil Joe Biden hires the Boondock Saints
Dark Summer (2015)New subgenre: Infatuated Teenage Satanic Witch Ghost
Xtro 1982 Not enough Xtro love yet this SMM
Poltergeist (1982)Yep, I still enjoy this Hooperberg flick.
We Are What We AreIt's true, they are what they are.
Young Frankenstein (1974) I miss you, Marty, Gene, & Madeline.
Billy Club (2013)CRACK! YAA-awwww.. a not so grand slam
The Witch (2015)My Dream of owning pet goat? dashed.
HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS (2013)I am totally a witch, Gemma Arterton.