Monster Squad (1987)I wanna be in the goddamn club
IT (1990)Beep Beep Richie, your jokes kinda blow.
Martyrs (2015 Remake)Can't convey my hatred in just seven....
I think you did just fine.
BURN, WITCH, BURN! (1962, 90 min.) on Amazon Prime for the first time.Mediocre-at-best wannabe "Twilight Zone" ripoff.
Misery (1990)Buster was doing such good police work.... : (
Nightbreed (1990)Cronenburg has one facial expression, resting dickface.
Corpse Mania (1981)Whaddaya call a Chinese Giallo? Xia Lo?
John Carpenter's Village of the damned (1995)Maury: Midwitchians, you are NOT the fathers!
Bloody Bible Camp (2012)Father Reggie, Jeremy's Jesus. Your move Criterion.
Stephen King's Cat's Eye (1985)Quickly becoming one of my favorite anthologies.
Attack of the Beast Creatures (1985)Proof that God exists and loves us.
The Mist (2007)Movie black and white, ending only black.
Dr. Giggles (1992)Points for using every medical pun ever
Black Sunday (1961)Caution, Satan mask results in bad skin.
The Shining (1980)This Redrum they keep mentioning sounds delicous
Blacula (1972):Just made me want to hear Blacu-Doug.
The Call of Cthulhu (2005)SyFy would've called this Call of Batmantopus!
Spirits of the Dead Anthonlogy (1968)Worth it for Fellini, but mostly meh.
Dead of Night (1945) Slappy ain't got nothin' on this dummy.
The Black Belly of the Tarantula (1971):Deadly acupuncture, gratuitous nudity, and Morricone soundtrack.
Cat People (1982)"Cocaine is a helluva drug" - Paul Schrader
A bay of blood - Well that was really good actually..... aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhh
Arachnophobia - PG my arse, this is utterly terrifying
Pieces (1982)Famous tennis players make terrible undercover copsorInternet too slow? Try a pornographic puzzle
Friend Request (2016)With friends like these who needs batteries?
The Loved Ones (2009)I hear glitter makes a good antiseptic.
Creepshow (1982)No clever remark, just a fantastic movie!
The Descent (2005)Cave Monsters not your biggest issue, Sarah.
Don't Look Now (1973)I did look, now I don't understand...
Martin (1978)Daaaamn, Gina! Know what? Get to steppin!
The Vatican Tapes (2015) Baskin Robbins always finds out. Also, Catholics.
The Final Terror (1983)Southern Comfort meets The Woman. Surprisingly unpredictable.
House of Frankenstein 1944It gets good like an hour in.
Deadtime Stories (1986)The book was the most expensive prop.
Cure (1997)Student studies Jung, thinks he knows everything!
The Shallows (2016)Entertaining...dare I say a little shallow?
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)Tobe Hooper takes you to hillbilly hell
Tales from the Hood (1995)Message to Trump: being racist can kill.
The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)Gill-man should invest in NO TRESPASSING signs.
Trick 'r Treat (2007)Keep Michael Dougherty away from your children.
Extraordinary Tales (2013)Never trust a product called "Extraordinary" anything
Children Shouldn't Play With Death Things (1972)Satanic theater kids really are the worst.
An American Werewolf in London (1981)I only need two words...perfect movie.
Holidays (2016)Screw you Jesus Easter Bunny, BAWK BAWK!
Cold Sweat (2010) : Good movie but the girl is dynamite
Stephen King's Silver Bullet: Silver Bullet Part 2: Bustin' up pots.
Halloween H2O (1998)Michael Myers is dead, Mom. Oh snap!
Antichrist (2009)Audition meets Hostel meets Fantastic Mr Fox
Unhallowed Ground (2015):British military cadets shag and then die.
Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)Wow, Brooke Shields is terrifying in 3D.
Pieces (1982) with FTM commentary Mike Pence should of stuck with acting.
Legion: The Final Exorcism (2006) The bottom of the barrel? Found it!
The Langoliers (1995)Turned on by paper shredding....why not?
Sacrifice (2016)I sacrificed a couple of useful hours.
Darling (2015)Oh my darling oh my darling horrified
Just Before Dawn (1981)Camping, swimming, drinking, hiking, climbing...and twiiiins!
Wicked,Wicked (1973) (with anamorphic duovision)Interesting idea well executed|Gimmicky trash cinema
Infernal (2015) Desperately wants to be Paranormal Activity. Isn't.
Long Weekend (1978)Mother nature has no patience for assholes.
House of the Devil 2009If your friend says don't, Fucking don't !
Insidious (2010)The medium's voice should have been squeakier.
Evil Dead (2013)Addiction treatment cabin will leave your breathless.
Tales of Terror (1962)Uneven trilogy but Price makes it worthwhile
Honeymoon(2014)Must hide husband....at bottom of lake.
Fender Bender (2016)Scream Factory like "ALL THE HORROR HOMAGES!"
Pet Sematary 2 (1992) - Stephen King MarathonAnd they still can't spell it correctly.
She Demons (1958)"Killers From Space" make up....geriatric Nazis.or"Restoring wife's beauty" is a Lugosi trope!!!!
'Last Shift' (2014)Should have been third Paul Blart sequel.
Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)The Monster on first, Dracu-Doug on second.
Some Kind of Hate (2015) "Are you all right man?" Clearly yes.
Deathgasm (2015)Metal & gore makes fun horror comedy.
Train to Busan (2016)South Korea makes the best train movies
Carrie (1976)Telekinesis plus pigs blood equals....GOOD TIMES!
Troll 2:Alright, when do the Trolls show up?
ClownWhen you need exposition, call Peter Stormare.
Orphan (2009)Parents deserved it for procrastinating dental appointment.
C.H.U.D. (1984) Are those flame throwers NYPD police issue?
Waxwork (1988)Shit gets mercifully bananas in third act.orSmash cut central; David Warner enlivens proceedings.
The Dead Room (2016)Furniture moves, wind blows, you get it.
Stoker (2013): I really need to learn the piano.
The VisitThis cop car sure smells like shit
Blood Diner (1987)Hatchet in one hand, testicles in other.
Hush (2016)I prefer my PROtagonists disabled, Don't Breathe.orA fine example of a pointyobjectsploitation film.
Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933)"You're gonna eat dirt, you soap bubble!"
Coraline (2009)What's that Lassie? What's down the well?
The Ouija Exorcism (2015) Boring Suburbanites Who Do Nothing: The Movie!
The Blob (1958)Fast and Furious: Creeps, Leaps, Glides, Slides
I didn't come up with this one, but one of my facebook friends (been giving more elaborate reviews there) came up with this one: Pieces (1982)"Oh, hey, it's my kung fu professor."
Badlands of Kain (2016) Hitchcock meets Serling in a bowling alley.
An American Werewolf in London (1981)Comedy plus moon plus lycanthrope equals tragedy.
I Know What You Did Last SummerSub Buffy storytelling - there were no stakes.
John Dies at the End (2012) Dir. Don CoscarelliGiamatti definitely brought his own corduroy jacket.
The Faculty (1998)Hands down best of the Scream spinoffs
Final Destination 5 (2011)Great way to end the franchise...please?
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)Good old fashion, skull plate scratching fun!
One Dark Night (1982)Drugged up in a mausoleum? No thanks.
Deep Rising (1998): Treat Williams good. CGI tentacle monsters bad.
The Funhouse (1981)Make sure you're in the right gearsorKid that's not how to prank sisters.
Event Horizon (1997): Proof that Pinhead and the Xenomorph procreated
IntrudersDoes anyone else live on this street?
Idle Hands (1999)Pothead kills family and friends, finds love.
KNOCK KNOCK (2015):Married-with-kids John Wick turned soft.
Grand Piano (2013)Second breakfast necessary for such nimble fingers
Blair Witch (2016): Well, it's better than Book of Shadows...
Garfield's Halloween Adventure (1985): But wouldn't all that candy kill Garfield?
Scream (1996): Wait, when does Ghostface Killah show up?
Don't Breathe (2016) No innocents die because nobody is innocent.
The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll (1960)No monster. He just becomes hot dude.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)You Gotta Be Careful of the Splatter
The Cabin in the Woods (2012)So good, I got a husband's bulge,
V/H/S/2Wipe your nose, this isn't Red Dawn
Dracula's Daughter (1936)Why doesn't Gloria Holden have top billing?
Christine (1983)No shitter ever came between me'n Christine!
Another one a different friend wrote:Pieces(1982)"rock singer rick exposes his little trumpy"
The ShallowsWilson the seagull. AND: Jan was right.
Ghostbusters (2016)Tour guides are people to, tip generously.
Under The Skin (2013)Like mosquito bites that itch so good.
Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)Leatherface hooked on phonics, with bling-bling saw
Strip Nude For Your Killer Is he putting it..yep...freeze frame!
She-Wolf of London (1946):Kinda like Cat People without Cat People.
Waxwork 1988 Waxworks private show, Midnight? Kids never learn
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) Best performance of chain saw ballet ever.
The Witch (2016)Demon goat has more swagger than me
Don't Breathe (2016)"The turkey's not dry, it tastes...I'unno..."
The Gallows (2015)Fuck it. Next year, we're doing Cats.
Pieces ( for the first time, so no commentary)Hey, that puzzle took a long time!
Wolves (2014)Michael J. Fox, Lucas Till is not.
Maggie (2015)Sorry it's not a tumor now, huh?
Mr. Hush (2010)Brian O'Halloran deserves much better than this.
A Christmas Horror Story (2015)Just a straight recommendation here. Surprisingly decent.
LATE PHASES (2014)I call this a modern werewolf classic.
The Haunting of Morella (1990)My life needed more soft-core Poe!
V/H/S (2012)Should have stuck to making sharking videos
In the Mouth of Madness (1994)Didn't literally drive me insane. Zero stars.
The Strangers (2008)She really should have just said, "Yes."
The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988). Makes my balls hurt.