Monday, October 3, 2016

Scary Movie Challenge VII (Day 3)


138 comments:

  1. Monster Squad (1987)

    I wanna be in the goddamn club

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  2. IT (1990)

    Beep Beep Richie, your jokes kinda blow.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Martyrs (2015 Remake)
    Can't convey my hatred in just seven....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you did just fine.

      Delete
  4. BURN, WITCH, BURN! (1962, 90 min.) on Amazon Prime for the first time.

    Mediocre-at-best wannabe "Twilight Zone" ripoff.

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  5. Misery (1990)

    Buster was doing such good police work.... : (

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  6. Nightbreed (1990)

    Cronenburg has one facial expression, resting dickface.

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  7. Corpse Mania (1981)
    Whaddaya call a Chinese Giallo? Xia Lo?

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  8. John Carpenter's Village of the damned (1995)

    Maury: Midwitchians, you are NOT the fathers!

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  9. Bloody Bible Camp (2012)

    Father Reggie, Jeremy's Jesus. Your move Criterion.

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  10. Stephen King's Cat's Eye (1985)

    Quickly becoming one of my favorite anthologies.

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  11. Attack of the Beast Creatures (1985)
    Proof that God exists and loves us.

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  12. The Mist (2007)

    Movie black and white, ending only black.

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  13. Dr. Giggles (1992)

    Points for using every medical pun ever

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  14. Black Sunday (1961)

    Caution, Satan mask results in bad skin.

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  15. The Shining (1980)

    This Redrum they keep mentioning sounds delicous

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  16. Blacula (1972):

    Just made me want to hear Blacu-Doug.

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  17. The Call of Cthulhu (2005)
    SyFy would've called this Call of Batmantopus!

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  18. Spirits of the Dead Anthonlogy (1968)

    Worth it for Fellini, but mostly meh.

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  19. Dead of Night (1945)

    Slappy ain't got nothin' on this dummy.

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  20. The Black Belly of the Tarantula (1971):

    Deadly acupuncture, gratuitous nudity, and Morricone soundtrack.

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  21. Cat People (1982)

    "Cocaine is a helluva drug" - Paul Schrader

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  22. A bay of blood -
    Well that was really good actually..... aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhh

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  23. Arachnophobia - PG my arse, this is utterly terrifying

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  24. Pieces (1982)
    Famous tennis players make terrible undercover cops
    or
    Internet too slow? Try a pornographic puzzle

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  25. Friend Request (2016)

    With friends like these who needs batteries?

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  26. The Loved Ones (2009)

    I hear glitter makes a good antiseptic.

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  27. Creepshow (1982)

    No clever remark, just a fantastic movie!

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  28. The Descent (2005)

    Cave Monsters not your biggest issue, Sarah.

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  29. Don't Look Now (1973)

    I did look, now I don't understand...

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  30. Martin (1978)

    Daaaamn, Gina! Know what? Get to steppin!

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  31. The Vatican Tapes (2015)

    Baskin Robbins always finds out. Also, Catholics.

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  32. The Final Terror (1983)

    Southern Comfort meets The Woman. Surprisingly unpredictable.

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  33. House of Frankenstein 1944

    It gets good like an hour in.

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  34. Deadtime Stories (1986)

    The book was the most expensive prop.

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  35. Cure (1997)
    Student studies Jung, thinks he knows everything!

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  36. The Shallows (2016)
    Entertaining...dare I say a little shallow?

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  37. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

    Tobe Hooper takes you to hillbilly hell

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  38. Tales from the Hood (1995)

    Message to Trump: being racist can kill.

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  39. The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

    Gill-man should invest in NO TRESPASSING signs.

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  40. Trick 'r Treat (2007)

    Keep Michael Dougherty away from your children.

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  41. Extraordinary Tales (2013)

    Never trust a product called "Extraordinary" anything

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  42. Children Shouldn't Play With Death Things (1972)

    Satanic theater kids really are the worst.

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  43. An American Werewolf in London (1981)
    I only need two words...perfect movie.

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  44. Holidays (2016)

    Screw you Jesus Easter Bunny, BAWK BAWK!

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  45. Cold Sweat (2010) :
    Good movie but the girl is dynamite

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  46. Stephen King's Silver Bullet:

    Silver Bullet Part 2: Bustin' up pots.

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  47. Halloween H2O (1998)

    Michael Myers is dead, Mom. Oh snap!

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  48. Antichrist (2009)

    Audition meets Hostel meets Fantastic Mr Fox

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  49. Unhallowed Ground (2015):

    British military cadets shag and then die.

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  50. Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

    Wow, Brooke Shields is terrifying in 3D.

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  51. Pieces (1982) with FTM commentary
    Mike Pence should of stuck with acting.

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  52. Legion: The Final Exorcism (2006)

    The bottom of the barrel? Found it!

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  53. The Langoliers (1995)

    Turned on by paper shredding....why not?

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  54. Sacrifice (2016)

    I sacrificed a couple of useful hours.

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  55. Darling (2015)

    Oh my darling oh my darling horrified

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  56. Just Before Dawn (1981)

    Camping, swimming, drinking, hiking, climbing...and twiiiins!

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  57. Wicked,Wicked (1973) (with anamorphic duovision)

    Interesting idea well executed|Gimmicky trash cinema

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  58. Infernal (2015)

    Desperately wants to be Paranormal Activity. Isn't.

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  59. Long Weekend (1978)

    Mother nature has no patience for assholes.

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  60. House of the Devil 2009

    If your friend says don't, Fucking don't !

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  61. Insidious (2010)

    The medium's voice should have been squeakier.

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  62. Evil Dead (2013)
    Addiction treatment cabin will leave your breathless.

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  63. Tales of Terror (1962)
    Uneven trilogy but Price makes it worthwhile

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  64. Honeymoon(2014)

    Must hide husband....at bottom of lake.

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  65. Fender Bender (2016)

    Scream Factory like "ALL THE HORROR HOMAGES!"

    ReplyDelete
  66. Gavin Leahy OctoberOctober 3, 2016 at 5:17 PM

    Pet Sematary 2 (1992) - Stephen King Marathon

    And they still can't spell it correctly.

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  67. She Demons (1958)

    "Killers From Space" make up....geriatric Nazis.

    or

    "Restoring wife's beauty" is a Lugosi trope!!!!

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  68. 'Last Shift' (2014)

    Should have been third Paul Blart sequel.

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  69. Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

    The Monster on first, Dracu-Doug on second.

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  70. Some Kind of Hate (2015)

    "Are you all right man?" Clearly yes.

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  71. Deathgasm (2015)

    Metal & gore makes fun horror comedy.

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  72. Train to Busan (2016)
    South Korea makes the best train movies

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  73. Carrie (1976)

    Telekinesis plus pigs blood equals....GOOD TIMES!

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  74. Troll 2:
    Alright, when do the Trolls show up?

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  75. Clown

    When you need exposition, call Peter Stormare.

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  76. Orphan (2009)

    Parents deserved it for procrastinating dental appointment.

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  77. C.H.U.D. (1984)

    Are those flame throwers NYPD police issue?

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  78. Waxwork (1988)

    Shit gets mercifully bananas in third act.

    or

    Smash cut central; David Warner enlivens proceedings.

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  79. The Dead Room (2016)

    Furniture moves, wind blows, you get it.

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  80. Stoker (2013):

    I really need to learn the piano.

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  81. The Visit

    This cop car sure smells like shit

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  82. Blood Diner (1987)

    Hatchet in one hand, testicles in other.

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  83. Hush (2016)

    I prefer my PROtagonists disabled, Don't Breathe.
    or
    A fine example of a pointyobjectsploitation film.

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  84. Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933)
    "You're gonna eat dirt, you soap bubble!"

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  85. Coraline (2009)
    What's that Lassie? What's down the well?

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  86. The Ouija Exorcism (2015)

    Boring Suburbanites Who Do Nothing: The Movie!

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  87. The Blob (1958)

    Fast and Furious: Creeps, Leaps, Glides, Slides

    ReplyDelete
  88. I didn't come up with this one, but one of my facebook friends (been giving more elaborate reviews there) came up with this one:

    Pieces (1982)
    "Oh, hey, it's my kung fu professor."

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  89. Badlands of Kain (2016)

    Hitchcock meets Serling in a bowling alley.

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  90. An American Werewolf in London (1981)
    Comedy plus moon plus lycanthrope equals tragedy.

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  91. I Know What You Did Last Summer

    Sub Buffy storytelling - there were no stakes.

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  92. John Dies at the End (2012) Dir. Don Coscarelli

    Giamatti definitely brought his own corduroy jacket.

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  93. The Faculty (1998)
    Hands down best of the Scream spinoffs

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  94. Final Destination 5 (2011)

    Great way to end the franchise...please?

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  95. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

    Good old fashion, skull plate scratching fun!

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  96. One Dark Night (1982)

    Drugged up in a mausoleum? No thanks.

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  97. Deep Rising (1998): Treat Williams good. CGI tentacle monsters bad.

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  98. The Funhouse (1981)

    Make sure you're in the right gears

    or

    Kid that's not how to prank sisters.

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  99. Event Horizon (1997): Proof that Pinhead and the Xenomorph procreated

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  100. Intruders

    Does anyone else live on this street?

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  101. Idle Hands (1999)

    Pothead kills family and friends, finds love.

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  102. KNOCK KNOCK (2015):

    Married-with-kids John Wick turned soft.

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  103. Grand Piano (2013)

    Second breakfast necessary for such nimble fingers

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  104. Fender Bender (2016)

    Scream Factory like "ALL THE HORROR HOMAGES!"

    ReplyDelete
  105. Blair Witch (2016): Well, it's better than Book of Shadows...

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  106. Garfield's Halloween Adventure (1985): But wouldn't all that candy kill Garfield?

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  107. Scream (1996): Wait, when does Ghostface Killah show up?

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  108. Don't Breathe (2016)
    No innocents die because nobody is innocent.

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  109. The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll (1960)
    No monster. He just becomes hot dude.

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  110. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

    You Gotta Be Careful of the Splatter

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  111. The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
    So good, I got a husband's bulge,

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  112. V/H/S/2

    Wipe your nose, this isn't Red Dawn

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  113. Dracula's Daughter (1936)

    Why doesn't Gloria Holden have top billing?

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  114. Christine (1983)

    No shitter ever came between me'n Christine!

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  115. Another one a different friend wrote:

    Pieces(1982)
    "rock singer rick exposes his little trumpy"

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  116. The Shallows
    Wilson the seagull. AND: Jan was right.

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  117. Ghostbusters (2016)

    Tour guides are people to, tip generously.

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  118. Under The Skin (2013)

    Like mosquito bites that itch so good.

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  119. Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

    Leatherface hooked on phonics, with bling-bling saw

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  120. Strip Nude For Your Killer

    Is he putting it..yep...freeze frame!

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  121. She-Wolf of London (1946):

    Kinda like Cat People without Cat People.

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  122. Waxwork 1988

    Waxworks private show, Midnight? Kids never learn

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  123. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

    Best performance of chain saw ballet ever.

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  124. The Witch (2016)

    Demon goat has more swagger than me

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  125. Don't Breathe (2016)

    "The turkey's not dry, it tastes...I'unno..."

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  126. The Gallows (2015)

    Fuck it. Next year, we're doing Cats.

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  127. Pieces ( for the first time, so no commentary)

    Hey, that puzzle took a long time!

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  128. Wolves (2014)

    Michael J. Fox, Lucas Till is not.

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  129. Maggie (2015)

    Sorry it's not a tumor now, huh?

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  130. Mr. Hush (2010)

    Brian O'Halloran deserves much better than this.

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  131. A Christmas Horror Story (2015)

    Just a straight recommendation here. Surprisingly decent.

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  132. LATE PHASES (2014)

    I call this a modern werewolf classic.

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  133. The Haunting of Morella (1990)

    My life needed more soft-core Poe!

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  134. V/H/S (2012)
    Should have stuck to making sharking videos

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  135. In the Mouth of Madness (1994)

    Didn't literally drive me insane. Zero stars.

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  136. The Strangers (2008)

    She really should have just said, "Yes."

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  137. The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988). Makes my balls hurt.

    ReplyDelete