Nightmare - Painajainen Merellä (2012, dir. Marko Äijö)Betcha haven't seen this one, Chaybee.In this Finnish horror movie, a newlywed couple and their closest friends take a cruise, and a shadowy figure attacks them one by one. So far so blah, but what if I were to tell you it's a spinoff of (and features several characters from) a long-running Finnish daytime soap, at the time on its 15th season?Of course, the soap is popular among young people, so the "horror" movie has to be kid-friendly (the rating is 12), and it's not like they'll be killing off a bunch of characters from the show in one big swoop. So it's a mix between a slasher without any on-screen kills, a comedy without any laughs (well, some of the plot twists are quite funny) and a drama without any genuine emotion. So exactly what you'd expect a horror spinoff from a daytime soap to be. I dare anyone to find a worse movie to watch for Junesploitation.The Warlord: Battle for the Galaxy (1998, dir. Joe Dante)Joe Dante shot a pilot for a show called The Osiris Chronicles, and after the show failed to materialize, CBS renamed the pilot and put it out as a TV movie.Centuries in the future, mankind has colonized the solar system and beyond, but the Galactic Republic has fallen, resulting in a dark age, where most people live in poverty and the priviliged few rule. When his kid sister is kidnapped, John Corbett's "regular joe" has to team up with an old Republic general, the general's daughter and granddaughter, a mute warrior woman and a faintly psychic comic sidekick to track her down on the starship Osiris. So exactly as clichéd as you'd expect from a '90s scifi show. And being a Joe Dante joint, of course Dick Miller has a small part.It's available on YouTube if anyone's interested.
Bonus: Nightsatan and the Loops of Doom (2013 short film, dir. Christer Lindström)A post-apocalyptic short film made by a Finnish synth band, Nightsatan. In their own words: "The amazing adventure features cannibalism, graphic violence, stunning visual lore and a synth score paying tribute to the classic works of John Carpenter and Goblin. It is a thoroughly original nod to the Italian genre cinema of the 1980's, with a hint or two of Alejandro Jodorowsky thrown in." Oh yeah, and it's all dubbed into Italian. And with a running time of 24 minutes, it's a perfect movie for Junesploitation.Watch it on YouTube.Also, in your face, J.M.!
Beaten! :'( :-P
Haha, oh man that sounds like a challenging watch :)
I'll live, don't worry. ;-)
Why can't we let J.M. have this?
ANGRY VIDEO GAME NERD: THE MOVIE (2015) on Amazon Prime for the first time.In the past couple of years I've become a fan of James Rolfe's weekly Cinemassacre videos in which he and his friends (Mike Matei, Ryan Schott, etc.) play/talk about classic/new videogames. While I like the "real" James and his friends interacting with one another while playing games or reviewing movies (James & Mike Mondays, Talk About 'X,' Monster Madness, etc.) I'm not crazy about 'The Nerd' portion of Cinemassacre. You know, the short web videos in which Rolfe plays a hardcore gaming nerd that shits on terrible videogames... usually literally. A low-budget filmmaker that has been a YouTube star since the mid-2000's, I prefer the 2013 James & Mike Monday discovery of how terrible "Sonic the Hedgehog 2006" for XBox 360 is compared with the AVGN takedown of the same game released last April.2015's "Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie" is an under-$500K crowd-sourced labor of love by Rolfe in which 'The Nerd' and his co-worker at G̶a̶m̶e̶S̶t̶o̶p̶ GameCops (Jeremy Suarez's Cooper) set out to debunk the myth that a certain infamous Atari 2600 videogame based on a 1982 Steven Spielberg blockbuster (hint: not "Poltergeist") wound up with its unsold inventory buried in a desert landfill. Cue the usual parade of foul language and insult humor The Nerd's short internet videos are known for, but for 114 consecutive minutes. To their credit, Rolfe & Co. are trying to make a low-budget science fiction story that knows it is cheap, juvenile and low-brow. Before it runs out of creative steam around the 75 minute mark, though, "AVGN: The Movie" gets a few smiles from 'moi' for a handful of clever bits (the powerful and cinematic flashlight, the car chase that points out every cliche, Tupac/Elvis/Michael Jackson hanging around Area 51, etc.) at the expense of the dragging-forever bigger set pieces (Death Mothsis rampaging through Las Vegas, General Onward's tank-shaped wheelchair, etc.) that outstay their welcome. For diehard AVGN fans only, which I discovered late into this flick I'm not one.
Child of Peach (1987, dirs. Chun-Liang Chen & Chung-Hsing Chao)Beginning with Kung-Fu Wonder Child in 1986, Taiwanese actress Hsiao-Lao Lin starred in a string of amazing children's films in which she played super-powered little boys. In this one, she's Japanese folk hero Momotaro, indefatigable demon-slayer born to an elderly couple out of a giant peach. The giant peach pisses in an old lady's mouth, characters get tricked into drinking dog and monkey piss, two midgets salaciously bite a fat guy's ass, and said guy also visibly farts in a ghost's face (the filmmakers use a puff of some sort of powder). There's also tons and tons and tons of laser effects and wirework, a character named Tiny Cock, a lechy witch played by a guy in drag, and at least one exploding head. And something happens in the final ten minutes that made my jaw drop. I love these movies!!Amuck (1972, dir. Silvio Amadio)A gorgeous but snoozy giallo starring Barbara Bouchet and Farley Granger. Barbara's trying to find a friend of hers who's gone missing from Venice while doing secretarial work for a famous author. There's oogles of nudity and an awesome score (including one song whose only lyric is the word "sexually" repeated over and over again,) but it's such a stupid story that I couldn't really recommend it to anyone.Severed Ties (1992, dir. Damon Santostefano)Fangoria made this, and that tells you most of what you need to know. A mad scientist does genetic experimentation that turns his right arm into a snake. Unlike in Curse 2: The Bite, there isn't a snake where his arm should be, his arm separates from his body and slithers around, with a hand where its head should be. His evil parents are played by Elke Sommer and Oliver Reed, and Garret Morris is his homeless sidekick. I think it wanted to be Re-Animator, but it reminded me of Return of the Living Dead 3, because a lot of it is about a guy and his girlfriend hanging out in the sewer with monstery vagrants.Orochi the Eight-Headed Dragon (1994, dir. Takao Okawara)Another Japanese folktale, about a cursed prince who's destined to stave off an evil god returning to Earth from imprisonment floating ice in outer space, General Zod style. Once the guy crash lands on the moon, he turns into a huge dragon, and the hero turns into (shocker) a giant robot. It's from the director several Heisei-era Godzilla movies, so it's all about the effects work, which is awesome. It's kind of like a Japanese Krull; I think this movie was an Indiana Jones-level influence for Japanese filmmakers of a certain age.
When do you find time to sleep and breath, let alone watch all these movies??!! :-O :-)
I use a VOD service for unconscious people, which beams movies into my brains while I sleep. I gave up breathing for political reasons.
Return to Oz (1985)Aunt May sends Dorothy to an Insane Asylum for shock therapy. This is Disney in the 80s. I can't be the only one who watched Return from Oz at a 10th birthday party, and being freaked out enough that I walked out of the room and read a Sweet Valley High from my friend's sisters room. Though watching it tonight, the movie for me holds up. There is plenty of imagination on display, the practical effects really do hold up. I was drawn into the nightmarish texture, into that asylum nightmare. It's not just the Wheelers or the head swapping witch Mombi; it's even in characters your meant to like such as Jack Pumpkinhead who looks more like a dark creature from well a horror movie. And Jack is vocied by Brian Henson!The movie itself is a little uneven at times, but I had a good time with it, even if I can understand why it sent me out of the room as a 10 year old.
"being freaked out enough that I walked out of the room and read a Sweet Valley High from my friend's sisters room"This brings a big smile to my face. But I can relate. We went to watch The Black Cauldron (and I couldn't walk out) in the theater and I went to sleep with my eyes closed, but not asleep, thinking "if they think I'm dead, they won't hurt me"
I also forgive all of its fault because of what it is. There's really nothing like it. Fairuza Bulk is perfect and who wouldn't love a moose head on a couch?
I have vauge memories of Black Cauldron, and yeah that is a scary ass animated. That was a smart plan.Brent - I love how Fairuza looks at the moose head and just goes that will good on a couch, and I love the logic of giving back his body, which he couldn't give two hoots about. You're right there is nothing like it.
Queen of the High Seas (1961)This is French-made pirate movie I came across on Amazon Prime. A female bandit ends up taking over as Captain of a pirate crew. It's a little short on action although there's a decent duel near the end. It's got some charm to it though thanks in no small part to Italian actress Lisa Gastoni in the lead role.Stray Cat Rock: Delinquent Girl Boss (1970)Japanese movie about a girl gang that is mostly notable for being a breakout role for Meiko Kaji prior to Lady Snowblood as well as spawning four "sequels". Aside from that it's entertaining enough I guess and would be a good background movie if not for the need to read the subtitles. I'm also curious if the plot about a boxer winning a fight he was supposed to throw and pissing off the criminals who were betting against him helped inspire Pulp Fiction at all.
Something Wicked Comes This Way (1983)Keeping the Dark Disneyploitation going.Holy crap I loved this movie!!! I swear I have had this DVD sitting there for maybe years. I am so glad I finally got around to see it, cause it might be a new Halloween tradition. Johnathan Price's Mr Dark brings the shorter days of autumn and Halloween early to a small Illinois town with his carnaval and by pricking of my thumbs something wicked this way comes.I know this movie was a troubled production, the director fell out with screen writer Ray Bradbury, Disney fell out with the director and the editor and changed large portions of the movie. And the version we have is probably sweeter than the orginal version, but you still get this gorgeous Bradbury language throughout the movie, and when Price gets going with it, it's just magical!This movie has Pam Grier, yes they should have used her more, but she is ethereal. It also has a great To Kill a Mockingbird feel, and I am always a sucker for a circus/carnival feel. It felt like they made it for me. It just took me 30 years to find it.
I remember seeing this as a kid, and Mr. Dark scared the hell out of me. It's probably time to revisit it.
I like your Disneyplotation path! Jeremy, Brett and I did a similar thing with the Indefinsibles, and this was one of the picks. The other was also mentioned above, Black Cauldron. I am inspired to go watch Return to Oz when I can! I am interested in all things related to Oz. This is our review in case you are interested: http://www.outsidetheframe.co.uk/?p=1149 I would like to see it again too :)
Thanks Gabby, you guys hit a couple of nails on the head.
Raw Force (1982) first viewDaniel Epler sold me on this. And I got my money's worth, twice fold.
Worth every penny!
Crawl or Die (2014)An entertaining micro budget indie, put together by a very small crew.Basic story is this: A group of soldiers are sent to extract a woman who is important for the future of humanity. However, they run into a creature and are forced to escape through a series of ever-shrinking tunnels. Director Oklahoma Ward, and lead actor/producer Nicole Alonso, created something cool with what little money was available. They also avoid the cheap digital camera look that so many small films have. Crawl or Die captures the spirit of what exploitation movies were about because it's all about the concept. No real plot to speak of, just shows what the title says it will: People in a crawl or Die situation.
The Centrefold Girls (1974)"The most beautiful girls in the world! He was their JUDGE... JURY... and EXECUTIONER!"This was a really good flick. Its like a car-less Death Proof, with three different girls (& Co.) being stalked and killed by the killer. Just in case that isnt enough for you, every girl becomes topless for some reason within 2 minutes of being introduced. While there is only one killer, the moral of the story is definitely that ALL men are bastards! My heart was breaking for the girl in the first act.
Contract to Kill (2016)With a new work schedule, fitting in My Junesploitation films in becomes increasingly difficult. This barrier makes it even more awful that my first logged film the June was this pile of rubbish.Beefy (...pudgy?) Seagal either on a garbage green screen or edited so quickly and from so many angles who knows what the hell is going on, dialogue that sounds like ADR more often than not (might have something to do with Seagal speaking in a crumbly, incoherent whisper), a sex scene barking up The Room tree, and violence which feels far too mean spirited. You know when you're watching a movie, you get up to use the bathroom, and almost forget to pause the movie? Not even interesting enough to justify as background noise.
Doctor X (1932) & The Return of Doctor X (1939)I didn't intend to do a double-feature, but I was in a Bogart mood and since he only appears in the sequel I wanted to see the first movie first. As it turns out I needn't have bothered, it's a sequel in name only, but I'm glad I did because these are both terrific. Both movies center around (different) mad scientists tangled up in murder and mystery, but the two movies are quite different and together they're my favorite discovery of Junesploitation so far.The first was filmed in two-strip technicolor which was a treat to see, it really gives it an ethereal, dream-like glow that makes the atmosphere much creepier than the black and white that was the standard at the time. The second is black and white, but features Bogie as a nefarious, possibly supernatural ghoul. It's his only horror movie (and it's said he hated it and refused to talk about it) but it's a blast to see him play so far against type. I can't recommend these enough. They're short, fun, full of snappy dialogue and creepy shadows, and a total blast whether watched together or apart.
These sound amazing, especially with the Bogart element. I am trying to get a precode collection going, it's going on the list.
Doctor X is a personal fave. A truly bizarre movie.
Army of One (2016) (First Time Viewing)When I got the disc from Netflix (I’m a dinosaur), someone had written on the sleeve: “Big Disappointment. Horrible Movie.” That’s a first. While I kinda like the idea of writing stuff on the sleeves, I have to disagree sir or madam. This movie was awesome, and it proves the comedy genre is not dead. Aside from maybe Deadfall, this is Nic Cage’s craziest performance. Let that sink in for a minute. I couldn’t tell what he was doing, it was so bizarre, maybe a more manic version of Gallagher? He is hilarious in a somewhat true story of a guy who went to Pakistan to find as he calls him “the bearded one” and bring him to justice. This is one of the best comedies of the decade (sadly that’s not saying much). Highly Recommended.
The Mummy (1999): I have been waiting to re-watch this for a few weeks now, which I don't think has much to do with the new one being out. I think this one is super fun and always enjoy coming back to it. I love Rachel Weisz. This film has a great energy, the kind you want in a monster/mummy movie.
This movie is glorious!
Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1966):Started as homework but ended up sexy homework.
Swamp Thing (1982)A superhero costume more uncomfortable than Batmans.
HUDSON HAWK (1991) In this notorious Bruce Willis passion project, Willis plays a cat burglar who gets caught up in a Da Vinci Code-type conspiracy. The story goes that Willis and co. wanted to make a screwball comedy, but the studio wanted Die Hard-style action. The end result has brutal fights and murders, but punctuated with “boing!” sound effects and the hackiest of one-liners. It is, as the saying goes, a movie for no one.LENSMAN: SECRET OF THE LENS (1987) Reading about the history of this anime will make your head spin. Based on a series of six books, it was a 26-episode TV series, edited down into this one movie, with multiple cuts available (I watched the shortest one). The end result isn’t just confusing, but poorly made. It’s around the same level of quality as the old GI Joe cartoon, but without as much personality. THE TELEPHONE BOOK (1971)After a woman receives an obscene phone call, she tracks down the caller and they start a relationship of sorts. Then there’s a totally bonkers cartoon at the end. It’s all very cheeky and “Tee hee, can you believe we’re getting away with this?” But it’s not as clever or as naughty as it thinks it is.
Hi, I'm no one. :) I've seen Hudson Hawk about 15 times and I love it. Just the simple idea of singing classic songs for their timing instead of synchronized watches is enough for me. There is a lightness to the whole film and a complete fantastical world that you're in during it that, to me, it's quirkiness and off-putting style is it's charm.
Quirkiness is definitely the word for it. Those bits with the songs were a nice touch, and that's when Willis seemed most into the character.
For the time that film was released, I think it's style is WAY ahead of it's time. Sure it doesn't all work, but it was damn ambitious! I mean, Bruce, Robert Kraft and de Sousa wrote it AND they got the director of (at the time) Heathers and Meet the Applegates!? It's a wacky ass movie from a wacky ass pairing of personalities.
Chaybee, will you play Nintendo with me?
As long as it's "Pro Wrestling", "Ghosts N' Goblins" or "Rygar". Honestly though I can't think of which I like the least - video games or books. :P
Books. Video games can at least have good soundtracks or celebrity voiceovers, like Apocalypse.
My brother and I still quote Bruce from that game, haha!
...and Hudson Hawk is a terrible movie.
El Topo (1970)I saw Santa Sangre last year and fell in love with it. I bought this blu-ray awhile ago but have been waiting for a good time watch it. I feel like I am pretty open to this type of movie so I didn't hate it. It's one I'll have to check out again to fully grasp it. I could try to explain it in a dumb way. It's like Scott Pilgrim minus the fighting the ex-boyfriends part but add a naked little boy. 5 out of 10
I hope you like Holy Mountain if you haven't seen it already, man. While I do like El Topo more than you, I consider Mountain to be one of the twenty best movies ever made, easy.
Agree. "Santa Sangre" and "El Topo" are the bomb, but "Holy Mountain" is Jodorowsky's masterpiece. Maybe the best ending/final scene to an indie picture, ever.
Thirded on the Holy Mountain love. It really is the shit.
I've heard that and I'm excited for Holy Mountain. I will be checking it out soon.
I watched El Topo a few years agi, I am still confused as to which parts I dreamed...
Ninja III: The Domination (1984, dir. Sam Firstenberg) on Amazon Channels/StarzAn utterly bonkers ninja possession/slasher movie, but not nearly as entertaining as Revenge of the Ninja (1983). #GoodThingsComeInThrees #WHMHomework
We're damn lucky to have this movie!
Agreed. Lucinda Dickey is the James Dean of the '80s. Such a major contribution to film in such a small amount of output.
Love and Friendship (2016): Janesploitation! 'May his next gouty attack be a sever one.' In my opinion, there has not been one person who has bettered Jane Austen at witty, sharp-tongued, back-handed compliments. In fact, I actually call the back-handed compliment the Austen insult. I think this film is true to her wonderful, witty spirit. It is lovely to see Kate Beckinsale in a role like this. She shines with intelligence (she did attend Cambridge, so no surprises there!), wit and charm. May she continue to get roles like this. It is also rather beautiful to look at thanks to the locations (National Trust sites no doubt), costumes and cinematography. Maybe a strange choice but if you think about it, Austen was a radical in her day, so why not, right? :)
Oxford sorry not Cambridge! And it was filmed in Ireland, my mistake. A lot of the Austen films have been filmed near where I am based and I have visited the homes or estates so I just jumped to conclusions haha.
Ya I enjoyed Love and Friendship, too, well the first half. I think I remember it felt unfinished to me due to problems getting the source material. Anyway, Gabby, wanted to say I stumbled on your movie review site (randomly via Instagram I believe!) this week and I love all your discussions of Clue, Beauty and the Beast, Charlie's Angels and the rest! I have to get around to getting an email address to comment on there but I mean to. I really enjoyed all your reviews with your crew!!
I really need more sexy Tim Curry in my life.
Everyone needs more sexy Tim Curry in their lives
Thank you Meredith! That means a lot to me to know people are enjoying the site!
SPOILERS for Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970)Bourgeois Victorian-era thrill seekers get out of their depth after encountering genuine libertine Ralph Bates, who isn't nearly as evil or fun here as he was in The Horror of Frankenstein. Bates kicks the bucket after drinking goblet of gross, crusty blood; Dracula returns to 'life' and seeks revenge for the death of his servant; dull young couple is threatened; Christopher Lee phones it in; Nonnymouse wills it to hurry up and finish already so she can continue her mini Peter Sallis horror marathon with Scream and Scream Again, which she hopes is more entertaining.Favourite bad line of dialogue: "You'll sell anything for money!"Good dog, Gromit. Good dog.
Rest In Peace, Mr. Sallis. May there be endless cheese where you are.
Emmental.Sorry, I mean Amen.
Firestorm (2013, dir. Alan Yuen)A Hong Kong action flick that follows a group of audacious criminals who are pulling heists in the city and the team of cops that try to stop them. This is an interesting one. I am generally on board with any action movie involving heists, cops, and guns. If you like those things, you'll be entertained by this film. The chase scenes, close-range fighting, gun-play and car crashes were all fun and well shot. Acting was decent and the plot moved right along the way you hope it will in an action movie. My main complaint is about everything in between. Not the story line or character development - that was fine. It was the way it was shot and edited. There were a lot of fast camera zooms (sometimes even with a "whoosh" effect) that made it sort of feel like Enemy of the State crossed with CSI: Hong Kong. I'll give the director credit for choosing a style and sticking with it, but the amount of cuts and zooms made it feel hectic at times and I felt myself yearning for him to just hold the camera steady for a little while so I could take in the setting and focus. But, in the end, it didn't spoil my enjoyment of this fast-paced action/thriller. Could also be a good choice for Cops! day. Available on Hulu or to rent or buy on Amazon.
Raw Force (1982)Yep, I drank the Epler Kool-Aid. While I enjoyed the martial arts scenes enough, I was actually more entertained by the drunken party that takes place about a half-hour in. There’s a guy with a massive white-dude fro that has to be seen to be believed. Not to mention the main villain, a dime-store Hitler impersonator: “You schtupid son of a bitch!”
My mind melted at watching the actor who says about fetishes, "that's really sick." He's also got to have one of the most hilarious sex scenes ever made.
Every line by that guy was so off kilter! I wonder if it was intentional.
Black Snake Moan (2006): My first Junesploitation rewatch, but I had to feed the urge for the Sam Jackson Blues Explosion.
Castle Freak (1995)Stuart Gordon, Barbara Crampton, Jeffrey Combs. You're in good hands.A family dealing with trauma inherits a castle, because that's just what people do. Unbeknownst to them, a former resident is still roaming the halls of the property.Effective monster and practical effects.My Shudder proceeded to freeze with 10 minutes left. I hope they make it.
Scream and Scream Again (1970)Bizarre body parts-harvesting science fiction/horror flick. Sallis is barely in it. A non-CG Peter Cushing, giving his Grand Moff Tarkin (Heh heh: "Moff") character a dry run, disappears pretty sharpish too.Vincent Price gives me a warm feeling in my tummy whenever I see him onscreen or hear his voice, even when he's playing the bad guy in stuff like Theatre of Blood or The Abominable Doctor Phibes.Price and Lee have only one scene together, towards the end. Price doesn't call him "Bitch," though. You have to watch House of the Long Shadows for that.Moff.
Kindergarten Ninja (1994) Dir. Anthony Chan I've been waiting a year to see thisWritten by and featuring the great George Chung, I bought this DVD a couple of years ago after having my mind blown by Hawkeye a.k.a Karate Cops (1988). Where that film excels as a crass, corny Beverly Hills Cop/Lethal Weapon knock-off, Kindergarten Ninja excels as an 82 minute PSA where Blade Steel (!!!) played by Dwight "the catch" Clark (that Dwight Clark of the 49ers) gets arrested for a DUI and teaches kids martial arts for his community service while battling thug dope dealers in the neighborhood. I don't even know where to begin with this. There are seven or eight reviews on IMDB that describe all of the madness in detail so if you want to look deeper, check those out cause otherwise this post will be Vargas length. One thing of note: as a Northern VA/DC native is that it was absolutely insane to see Vinny fucking Cerrato show up as Sarge Antonelli! I was smiling ear to ear the entire time so I have to say, this is exactly the movie I needed at this time cause on a personal note it's been a rough start to June. Highly recommended. Though I recommend "Karate Cops" first to get the fullness of all of Chung's greatness.Clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1g70xhNQ04
I don't know what you're going through at this time, Chaybee, but if you've suffered a loss of any kind, you have my best wishes. If there's one thing I know, it's that there is an awful lot of love for you on this site.
Hey, thanks for the kind words, Nonnymouse.
Maniac Cop 3: Badge of Silence (1993, dir. William Lustig) on YouTube Smitheesploitation! Keeping up with my Part The Third theme, this happens to be a serendipitous selection in that its also been spotlighted in the We Hate Movies back catalogue. Possessing no knowledge of the prior two entries couldn't prevent this one from being a disappointment. Not even the climactic chase featuring our titular psycho driving a car while totally on fire could sustain my interest. At least I have a podcast to look forward to tonight.
Eugh, We Hate Movies. Where funny goes to die.
We Hate Movies is alright in small doses. The best episodes are those of the movies they love, like Hard Target.Also, side project Eric has, the T.J. Hooker podcast is endlessly listenable. They recap episodes of the TJ Hooker buddy cop TV show from the 80's. It's a strong recommend.
Yeah, I think you've recommended the T.J. Hooker cast to me before, and I haven't got around to listening to it yet, even though I said I would.F This Movie has spoiled me for other film podcasts. I used to like We Hate Movies, but it's just godawful to me now.I've never understood how people could become cult members before, but I sort of get it now.Gooble gobble, gooble gobble, one of us, one of us.Please don't turn me into a chicken lady if I go all Leah Remini, F This Movie. I'll give you names. Lindsay Wilkins listens to The /Filmcast. Mikko Viinikka subscribes to a Finnish podcast, probably. Paul likes We Hate Movies. E.S.A.D.D. has his own cast.Take them! Turn them into chicken people! Not me, not me!I think you might be correct in your assessment in a previous thread on this site that I am a bit of a silly person, Paul.
...one of us, one of us.That was presumptuous of me. You have to be accepted into a cult. I suspect that I would have been turned away if I arrived at Jonestown looking to be invited in."I love Kool-Aid! It's yummy!""Yeaaah, you're not the sort of person we're looking for. Have you tried the Branch Davidians?"
Thanks for the continued shout-outs, Non! Wonder Woman show going up tomorrow!
I've been listening to the Watching Machine and it's pretty good. No idea which person you are, however. And E.S.A.D.D. is torturous to type out, otherwise I'd respond to you more often!
Thank you so much for checking us out, Paul!! I'm Matt. I think I've typed out E.S.A.D.D. exactly once (twice, now.)
Army of Darkness (1992)Won't be waiting another 20 years to rewatch this. What a fun little movie. So many good lines.
Used Cars (1980)Really fun movie with some genuine laughs and heart - it really reminded me how much I love 80s comedies, a genre I haven't been that interested lately that I'm now ready for a deep dive into. Highly recommend it for 80s Comedy Day if you haven't already seen it and want to scratch a "classic" off your list.I'll be missing Italian Horror Day so I'm going to make up for it and watch The Beyond...gulp.
Smokey and the Bandit (1977)First viewing (don't know what I was waiting for...). Figured I could make up for having missed cars and Burt days. Am I the only one concerned for Buford's wife? On the bright side, is there a more beautifully erotic moment in all of cinema than when Burt pulls his hat off, revealing that lush head of hair?
Witchtrap (1989)I thought this was a sequel to one of Kevin Tenney's previous films Witchboard (1986) at first, but it turned out not to be (or at least that's what it says on the VHS cover) yet still was a sequel to that film. Anyways, I wouldn't say it's great compared to Tenney's other films such as Witchboard and Night of the Demons. It does make for a fun, campy movie since the entire thing was re-dubbed. Also, there's Linnea Quigley. What more do you need?
Haha...were you actually watching a VHS copy?(not a criticism...that would be awesome. My parents still have a old VHS player kicking around, with all the tapes of recorded stuff when I was a kid. And yes, they are boarderline hoarders.)
'... this post will be Vargas length.'? What is that supposed to mean? You say I'm trying to compensate for other, ahem, shortcomings? INNUENDO-SPLOITATION! ;-)
haha! You know I love breakin' your balls, man :P
What did I just imply about innuendo? :-O :-P
I Come in Peace (1990)I remember seeing this film's TV spot around the time it was out (I was 8) and repeating the lines "I come in peace" "And you go in pieces" to myself because I thought it looked so awesome. And then I never saw the movie until today because my parents took me and my sister to see Funny About Love. GREAT DECISION (sarcasm). Does I Come in Peace live up to those expectations? Not really but it's fun and has some great action moments and that's what Junesploitation is all about. Matthias Hues's performance as the alien is a blast too. He's like "AAAAAAAARRRGH" for the last twenty minutes. Also, HOLY SHIT IS THE END CREDITS SONG GOOD!
Looks like your eight-year-old brain could also predict movie's final one-liners. :-)
I wish I could predict that. It was in the commercial.
I'm a huge fan of I Come in Peace, but don't pooh-pooh Funny About Love, neither! For some reason, that movie made a real impression on 8 year old me.
Oh, I'm pooh-poohing it. Glad you like it though.
Tales of Halloween (2015)I don't want to say anything bad about this movie because I know it has a lot of fans on this site, but it wasn't for me. I really wanted to like it too. Uninvited (1988)Ok this not only cleansed my palette, but it might be one of my favorite junesploitation discoveries in a while. A group of people (including George Kennedy) get trapped on a cruise ship with a possessed(?), mutated cat. Ridiculous plot, crazy cat puppets, and arguably too many sound effects. Watch it on animals day for a good time!
I'm not a huge fan of Uninvited, but that radioactive cat puppet is one for the ages!
Eaten Alive (1977)Pretty dull up until the final reel, when it becomes awesome.Favourite line: "Reeeeerrrgh." You'll recognise it when it's spoken.
That this is a dull movie is a common misconception. It is, in fact, yet another Tobe Hooper masterpiece. It's okay, you didn't know. :) In my mind, it's the American equivalent of Suspiria, and it came out first! My prediction is that the next Hooper to garner a mainstream re-evaluation will be Spontaneous Combustion, which is a ficken' treat.
The Beyond (1981)Well that was its own thing!I think in order to "get" certain filmmakers or styles of filmmaking, you sometimes have to learn their particular dialect of cinematic language. I noticed that recently with Hitchcock. I had seen a few of the big ones and could admire the craft but they never really buzzed me. Then I went through a kick of watching a bunch of them (in chronological order) and something finally just clicked. I learned his language and now I slip into a Hitchcock movie like a comfy old slipper and really love a lot of them.I wonder if that's how Patrick came to love Italian Horror because while watching this one I really got the feeling of not understanding - not what was going on story-wise but like the whole way it was being presented. And it's not something I can put my finger on as just being bad - I think there's something there to really appreciate and I just don't know how to do it yet. Someday!
You know what to do now, Pilgrim. Saddle up, watch a bunch of Italian movies (there's a bunch on YouTube if you know where to look) and learn to speak a new cinematic language. Join us!
Let me get my gear.
Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)I'm currently going through the Wrong Reel podcast's episode on John Carpenter with J. Blake. It's very long, but it's also one of the best podcast episodes I've ever heard. In addition to learning tons of great stuff, I realized how insane I am for having not seen the entirety of Carpenter's filmography! Blake even talks at one point about fake cinephiles who say they're Carpenter fans but haven't seen all his movies. Good god! I'm one of those guys! So I've decided to watch every Carpenter film I haven't seen by the end of June. Hope I can do it in time!This movie is WAY better than I expected, and I expected it to be good. Wow! It's an action movie that feels like both a western and a horror film. Could I ask for more? The whole cast is fantastic, but my favorite performance comes from Darwin Joston. If they went back in time and grabbed an actor off the set of a 50's western I wouldn't be surprised because that's what that guy seems like. I love when they even acknowledge that when he says, "I was born out of time." Yeah you were dude.
A Cinderella Story (2004)You know, the Hillary Duff one. It's absolutely terrible, but it's one of those things that I just end up watching when I catch it on tv. Also, there are now four Cinderella Story movies. FOUR! And one was made last year! This is blowing my mind, and I can't believe I haven't watched it yet.
Deliverance- First Time ViewingSo much *more* than that one scene. Burt Reynolds was great and made me want to see more of his movies. I'm glad I finally checked this out.
Death Machines (1976)Another Crown International Pictures gem in which three unkillable assassins wipe out a karate studio, a police station and an Italian restaurant while a bartender whines about getting his hand cut off and some cops are constantly reminded to take an HR class. This is the best kind of crazy and a perfect Junesploitation movie.Enter the Ninja (1981, dir. Menahem Golan) Not my favorite Cannon ninja movie, but I can't resist this cast and the moments of ridiculous violence. Christopher George (#humancigarette) is clearly making some acting choices here and they're very entertaining.
I just rewatched the "Electric Boogaloo" documentary on Netflix for Junesploitation! ideas. I want to watch "Enter the Ninja" just to see Franco Nero step out ninja clothes while the stuntman does the real ninja scenes more shamelessly than Lee Van Cleef did during filming of "The Master" 80's TV series. :-)
Wouldn't be Junesploitation without HCCG!
Love Letters of a Portuguese Nun (1977)Satan's having NUN of this.
No, Nichole! Put down the pun! Put it down! Put it... aaaaaiiigghhhh!! (Anti-pun pun.)
Sorry. It's a bad habit.
('ಠ_ಠ) how dare you
The Good, the Bad and The Weird.What a delight. A lot of fun riffs on the Leone movie while not being slavish. It is mostly schlocky nonsense, but it is fun schlocky nonsense.
Nice! This was perhaps my favorite discovery of last June. It's a silly parody, but completely holds it own plot wise. I'm going to squeeze it in again this year.
100 Slashers! if anyone wants a listhttp://www.imdb.com/list/ls069814532/
Your lists are very appreciated, in case you were wondering.
Very much so!
Thanks! I'm never quite sure but I appreciate that you appreciate it!