Dark Waters (1993)Plot? Barely even know. Imagery? HELL YES.
Exactly how I felt!
Child's Play (1988)That stupid kid was such a liar.
Child's Play 2 (1990)Bud the Chud hates his adopted children.
Child's Play 3 (1991)His superpower was mailing himself to places.
The Craft (1996)Skeet, Breckin, Fairuza, Neve...these aren't names.
The House of the Devil (2009)Always say you are the babysitter. Always!
A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)This is bullshit. Freddy didn't rap once.
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)Nine movie marathon concludes with badass finale!
Nine? Nice work. I managed 5 one day but then had the urge to watch only stupid comedies for the next 2 days.
Orphan (2009, Dir: Juame Collet-Serra)Adults grow down so fast these days.
The Fog (2005)Better when just angry ghost leper Pirates
The Resident (2011)If it’s on Shudder it’s horror right??????
Hellmaster (1992) Clive Barker better summon new cenobite, LawsuitHead.
The Babysitter (2017) He ruined Mad Men? He should die.
Better Watch Out (2017)He watched Home Alome WAY too much.
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)Girl jumps from tower, my children laugh
Saw (2004)In Tobin's voice: "Get on the see-saw!"
Ouija:Origin of Evil (2016)Projector "cigarette burns" were a nice touch.
Hellraiser: Bloodline (1996)In space before Jason or the Leprechaun.
Don’t Breathe 2016A dangerous game of Don’t Wake Daddy
Saw 2 (2005)Or "Oh, don't do that" the movie.
Last Woman on Earth (1960) How Corman affords his tropical beach vacation.
Happy Death DayTree, just wait until your next Birthday!
Torso (1973)More cleavage than Andy Dufresne's rock collection.
Black Sabbath (1963)Drop of Water corpse lady? Would bang.
Iced (1988) Cheesy soap opera, occasionally interrupted by slasher.
The Sentinel I shouldn’t watch terrible movies before bedtime.
WolfCop (2014)Best werewolf sex scene? I'd do him.
47 Meters Down (2017)The third act ran out of air.
The House on Haunted Hill (1959)Defines tedium, except for Mr. Vincent Price
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Urban Legend (1998)Sometimes we need visual aids to understand...
Idle Hands (1999)Mick and Pnub - the best guardians angels
Society (1989)Charles Lucia's audition for Oliver Stone's Trump
Cherry Falls (2000) When USA Network was racier than cinema.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 (1986)Admittedly makes every other Leatherface incarnation misguided
Happy Death Day (2017)So much fucking fun. Like, no, really.
Bound to Vengeance (2015)Predictable and interesting? Don't know if good...
Thinner (1996)Damn that mob boss was hands on.
Tales from the Hood (1995)The Devil personally welcomes everyone into Hell.
What We Do in the Shadows (2014)Mom was visiting. Needed something relatively inoffensive.
Happy Death DayAfter a tough week, I needed this movie.
Ghosts of Mars (2001)More Dissolve. No Even more. MAXIMUM Dissolve.
Jennifer's Body (2009)Indie band makes it to generic status.
The Dark Half (1993)Hope "bird justice" satisfies murder victims' families
Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)Terry is best Pet Detective until Ace
Lifeforce (1985)This was another case of functional nudity.
Mother's dayBousman Saw the hand rocking the cradle
The Babysitter (2017)So Netflix original horror patented this aesthetic?
Teeth (2007)A.K.A. The Massacre of the One-eyed snakes
Damnation Alley (1977) Want sequels Tarnation Alley and Consarnit Alley.
Pet Sematary (1989)Victor Pascow spinoff movie: Ghost Truck Turner.
The Babysitter (2017)Don't use open front door. That's stupid.
Final Destination (2000)Who knew that Rube Goldberg was Death?
The Unborn (2009)Glory hole full of bugs, go figure.
Don't Kill It (2016)Demons vs nets. Nets with the upset.OrHe-man and Evil Lynn have surprising reunion.
Cube (1997)Six prisons in prisoners in a prison
Happy Death Day (2017)Groundhog Day with more slaying and cupcakes.
Tales From the Hood (1995)We desperately need an Adam Riske commentary.
Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell (2001): This has 2001 written all over it.
Brain Damage (1988)That was pretty sick, but still fun.
The Funhouse (1981)Wait, carnivals have stripper tents in them?
Sequence Break (2017)Up, down, left, right, up, down, dead.
Phenomena (1985)A great case of deus ex monkey-a.
The Marsupials: The Howling III (1987) Need more werewolf ballerinas in my life.
We Go On (2016)Appreciate the effort, just wasn't feeling it.
Cube 2: Hypercube (2003)Poor FXs don't make a great Hypercube
Lake Placid (1999)Thoughts of Betty White's dick: Lake Flaccid
Cube Zero (2004)I wanna go back... To the original.
Dracula/Horror of Dracula (1958)The extra thirty seconds make difference alot.
The Sixth Sense (1999)If Willis has hair, performed with care.
WISH UPON (2017)Wished for a unintentional comedy...died laughing.
Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)Tell me, is it the black leg??
Monster House (2006) with the kidsPolar Express animation makes it far creepier.
In the Mouth of Madness (1994)Not at all a crowd pleaser. Sad.
Frankenhooker (1990)Wanna date? Going out? Got any money?
The Babysitter (2017)So much fun, had us in stitches
Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)Glad it didn’t go all Dead Girl
When a Stranger Calls (2006)Female lead seriously lacks balls, villain worse.
Sounds like a fun line up!
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978)I wasn't expecting much, but yikes.
Forgot the “too” before much to make it 7 words.
Urban Legend (1998)I really would like some Pop Rocks.
Corpse Bride (2005)I'm looking for more recommendations from Rosie.
You stole my review.....back to the drawing board.
Friday the 13th Part III - Dir. Steve MinerIt's not that scar- AHH! 3D JOINT!
A Dark Song (2017) - The Irish-ginger Daniel Stern as an occultist. Forgiveness. It is more than saying sorry.
The Howling VII: New Moon Rising (1995) How'd we get from Dante to this?
Sadako vs Kayako (2016)Jason Voorhees vs Freddy Krueger, asian style.
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)Cenobite Terri looks like a female Kurgan.
Phantom of the Paradise (1974) Swan's sidekick = Ricky from Trailer Park BoysOne order of fried Beef, coming up!I wonder what DePalma's favorite color is...
The Bye Bye Man (2017)New generation's Elm Street.New generation sucks.
The Babysitter (2017)Don't tell mom the babysitter's a satanist.
The Final DestinationAre there crossing guards in this universe?
The Craft (1996)If remade, Nancy'll want a bigger butt.
Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)That club looks like an S&M Portillos.
I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)Who Did I Do Last Summer? (1998)
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)Still Don’t Remember Who I Did. (1999)
Poltergeist (1982)Truly some of the director's best work.
The Curse of the Werewolf (1961)Great Oliver Reed performance, even better makeup.
Stir of Echoes (1999)Need a mystery solved? Just add Bacon.
Scream 2 (1997)It’s just a mask. Fight back, people!