Mum & Dad (2008, dir. Steven Sheil)Agh! Ugh! Jeez! Wuh! Cripes! Dammit! Ghecchh!
Wolf Creek (2005, Dir: Greg McLean)Australian Outback? More like Australian OUCH-back.
THE MUMMY (1959)A mummy never forgets its ancient love.
The Tunnel (2011, dir. Carlo Ledesma)"Tangles! Tangles! ...TANGLES?! ...Tangles?? ...tangles..."
A Ghost Story (2017)Five centuries in ninety minutes. Feels long.
Don't Kill It (2017)"It Follows" with guns instead of genitals.
Tales of Terror (1962)Well how else would you taste wine?orThere are some bitchen robes in this
Critters 4 (1992)Critters in space. Better than Alien Covenant.
DRACULA (1931)Is this the birth of off-screen death?
FRANKENSTEIN (1931)Too amazing to try a witty review!
THE MUMMY (1932)2nd best Mummy movie after Mummy '99!!
Cradle of fearHorror should never be 2 hours long
Happy Death Day (2017)Enjoyed. But script could use a do-over.
Most Likely to Die (2015)Most likely to not be watched again.
Dawn of the Mummy (1981) Mummy uses historically accurate Egyptian meat cleaver.
Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)Elastic arm special effects have improved immensely
Chopping Mall (1986)Robot blood? Not olie? But Robot blood?
Candyman (1992)Damn this is a beautifully flawed movieOrThat's not candy, those are fucking bees.
Stir of Echoes (1999)Not a big fan of pulp either.
Creep (2014)Add Mark Duplass to the dark universe.
Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)Less sex, more posthumous exposition than anticipated.
House of The Devil (2009)Definitely ruined my dreams of pizza delivery.
House on Willow Street (2016)Good thing they all have tragic backstories.
Suspiria (1977)Beautiful print. Laughing hipster audience must die!!
Killing Ground (2016)Killing ground's killing time treading old ground
Rawhead Rex (1986)Irritated red eyes upsets the sleepy Irish.
Final Destination 5 (2011)Ohhhh. That explains that guy's cell phone!
The Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires (1974) Hammer does kung fu. We all win.
Happy Death Day (2017)I really thought it was the dad.
The Babysitter (2017) Never revealed what was in the book!
Ganja & Hess (1973)Hess would have kicked living dead ass.
The Babysitter (2017)Revenge of the Nerds used Queen better.
Prince of Darkness (1987)Devil juice tastes better on the rocks.
Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982)Poor Shelly just wanted someone to stalk.
Ravenous (1999)Meat must be fully cooked before eating.
They Look Like People (2015) I look like a really bored person.
Sleepwalkers (1992)Cat people incest is the grossest incest.
The Night Stalker (1972) aka Kolchak: The Night Stalker (1972)Barry Atwater is no Lugosi or Lee.
The House that Dripped Blood (1971)Bigger the Cushing the sweeter the pushing.
Asylum (1972)Robert Bloch's psychos in a mad anthology.
Voodoo Island (1957) Voodoo beliefs include giant mutant snake monsters?
Ghosthouse aka Il Casa 3 (1988)Creepy child plus clown doll equals murder.
The Battery (2012)Two bros get ready for spring training
Pet Sematary (1989)Favorite of the murdery zombie child genre.
The Lazarus Effect (2015)Sometimes, dead is better...than this movie
Found Footage 3D (2016) Can't wait for behind the scenes footage!
Hellraiser (1987) Cenobite makes Jesus cry, Frank bites dust.
The Loch Ness Horror (1981) Excuse me, where's your real animatronic monster?
Torso (1973)Actually, dolls keep pretty good secrets too.
Happy Death DayAt least they acknowledge Groundhog DayAndImagine if Bill Murray was her dad
The Hazing Aka Dead ScaredMy favourite unseen perfect spacesuit Shepis movie
House of 1000 corpses (2003)Dwight Schrute is a Mer-MAN Pops. MER-MAN!
Cat People (1982)My favorite song written for a movie.
The Devil’s Rejects (2005)How i learned to enjoy Rob Zombie
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)Very little Frankenstein and Bride in this.
Frankenstein (1931): “Frankenstein and Fritz’s Monster” wasn’t catchy enough.
Bride of Re-animator (1989) Talk about coming apart at the seams.
Patchwork (2015)"A Patrick Bromley recommendation that doesn't disappoint!"
Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)October's too short for movies this average.
Maniac Cop “Cops like killing. That’s why they cops.”
Hatchet II A.J. Bowen is a mindless fucking machine.
SilverbulletDrunk uncle names nephew's wheelchair after beer.
JASON XThe most expensive episode of Lexx ever.
Twice-Told Tales (1963)Elevated by Price. Elevated by Price. END.
I like Nathaniel Hawthorne's stories, but they are not the best sources for horror films.
Street Trash (1987)This is a social thriller, right? RIGHT!?
Prom Night (1980)Loved the wacky antics from Mr. Hammond.PS This movie sucks.
Torso (1973)Starts strong; runs out of steam, torsos.
Frailty (2001)The power of Otis compels the demons.
The Babysitter (2017)Set Designer had a rainbow orgasm everywhere!
OrReally? I Want Candy? This is garbage!
Train to Busan (2016)Fast zombies can't catch a pregnant lady.
Housebound (2014)Best use of piss bucket as weapon
Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996)In space no one can hear youZzzzzzzzzzzzz
Damn it, I have to watch this series because of you wonderful bastards.
I'm so sorry.
Asylum (1972)Full Moon owes some Puppet Master royalties.
Suspiria (1977)Class hated it. I don't fucking care.
Gerald’s Game Alternate titles: De-Glovely/She Kept Dog...Right?!
Final Destination 5How else could you end this franchise?
Midnight Ride (1990)Almost worthwhile for Dudikoff vs. Hamill climax.
Halloween (2007)Zombie come, Zombie try, Zombie Fail. Zombie.
From A Whisper To A Scream (1987)We all new the Price was right.
Creepshow (1982)Dancing Ed Harris is my spirit animal
Creepshow 2 (1987)I couldn’t drive after 6 orgasim’s either.
Candyman (1992)Now only murders people at horror conventions.
Poltergeist III: It's All in One Fucking Building Or Something (1988)At least this one is fucking ridiculous.