Monday, October 2, 2017

2017 Scary Movie Challenge Day 2



149 comments:

  1. The Hitcher (1986)

    See Rutger Hauer kill, see Thomas howl.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gerald's Game (2017)

    Solar Eclipses make Daddies do funny things.
    or
    Kinky Sex movie hard to masterbate to.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The Innocents (1961)

    .... Children are monsters or monsters are children...

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  4. Mientras duermes (2011, dir. Jaume Balagueró)
    Most I've ever identified with a character. (~_~;)

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  5. Grace (2009, dir. Paul Solet)
    Honestly, a little formulaic for my taste.

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  6. A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors (1987)

    In my dreams...I probably have guns

    Or

    Secret shame: Kinda dig the Dokken song

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    Replies
    1. Never feel shame for liking that song!

      Delete
  7. Never Sleep Again (2009)

    Forgot to interview boom mic operator. Incomplete

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  8. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)

    Another viewing, another step towards genuine affection.

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  9. Nightbreed (1990)

    Serial killer Cronenberg, Spot on casting choice.

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  10. Masque Of The Red Death (1964)

    Satan worshiping Vincent Price? Sign me up.

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  11. Night of the Living Babes (1987, dir. Gregory Dark)
    Michelle Bauer vs. "Madame Mondo"'s transsexual raygun.

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  12. Grave Encounters 2 (2012, dir. John Poliquin)
    Guess "meta"'s now shorthand for "fucking nonsense."

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  13. A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987):

    Is it all downhill from here, bitch?

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  14. Wes Craven's Shocker (1989)

    aka

    Wes Craven's 'Wish I Still Owned Freddy'.

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  15. Witchboard 2: The Devils Doorway

    No witch, devil, or doorway. Just bored.

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    Replies
    1. Seriously terrible, one of the most hateful, mysogynistic movie I've watched in a while.

      Delete
    2. Stuart, did you not see mother!?

      Delete
  16. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. 1986

    What if this is a Chef sequel?

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  17. Halloween (1978) - The classic, the greatness, the Moog synthesizer.

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  18. Wishmaster (1997)

    Tammy Lauren (greater than symbol) Tomi Lahren.

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  19. The Lost Boys (1987): “Holy Water hairspray would’ve eradicated every vampire…”

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  20. Seventh Moon (2008): “Who gives a tour guide a t-shirt?”

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  21. Dog Soldiers (2002): “Werewolf regrets sticking hand through mail slot”

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  22. Greasy Strangler (2016)

    Made me wanna puke, goddamn bullshit artists!

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  23. Hatchet (2006):

    Haunted swamp tour? Murderous poltergeist? Zoinks, Scoob!

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    Replies
    1. Nice review Brandon! I watched this today too!

      Delete
  24. Pool Party Massacre (2015)

    Day two, and already bottom of barrel.

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  25. Christmas Evil (1980)

    Wish this was more like Driller Killer

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  26. Halloween 3 (1982)

    I don't like kids either, but yeah......

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  27. Gerald's Game (2017)

    = Average day living near Austin Film Critic

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  28. Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows(2000)
    "More like Book of Boners, Joe Berlinger."

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  29. Get Out (2017) - Worst 'I'm not racist' argument ever. #eyesight

    ---So that's what he's doing after Westwing...

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  30. Gerald's Game (2017)

    E.T. phoning home really fucked up Elliott...

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  31. Final Destination 2 (2003)

    Death changes rules. Should consider that cheating.

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  32. Final Destination 3 (2006)

    Close calls as entertaining as the kills.

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  33. The Cat and the Canary (1927)
    Why be such a dick in will?

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  34. Insidious Chapter One (2010)

    I don't like photos of me either

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  35. Alien: Covenant (2017):
    Scientists underestimate danger on alien world, again.
    -or-
    Humans are dumb. Fassbender is too great (two, great!)

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  36. Night of the Living Dead (1990) - Yup - still better than The Walking Dead

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  37. Valentine (2001)

    Heather is right, this movie is fun

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  38. Madman (1981)

    Is this asshole going to stop singing?

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  39. Blood Rage (1987)

    Get it? Cranberry sauce looks like blood!

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    Replies
    1. But is it?! Is it cranberry sauce terry?!

      Delete
  40. It Follows (2015) Dir. David Robert Mitchell

    Even a monster can't kill Paul's boner.

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  41. Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)

    Unexpected chainsaw dance made me spit take

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  42. Day of the Dead (1985)
    All the shopping malls are closed people!

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  43. Frankenstein (1931)

    Where's "Little Girl Lake Toss" iPhone game?

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  44. Die, Monster, Die (1965)
    Karloff, Lovecraft, and AIP? Sign me up.

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  45. Friday the 13th: the final chapter (1984)

    "Dance like nobody's watching" given new meaning.

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  46. 47 meters down

    Love Mandy Moore. Sharks a bit moore

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  47. Friday The 13th Part 2 (1981)

    Jason Vorhees the Ku Klux Klan years

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  48. Blood Rage (1987)
    Excited for the sequel: Cranberry Sauce Rage

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  49. Hocus Pocus (1993)

    Three pervy witches with a virgin fetish.

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  50. Gerald's Game (2017)

    Fifty Shades of AAAHH what the heck?!?

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    Replies
    1. I found "the hand" scene to be more disturbing than bone tomahawk. I actually can't think of anything that made me as squeamish. I held my hands up to my face. Hundreds of horror films I don't know if I've ever done that before.

      Delete
    2. It's a very well-made movie, but wow is it tough to watch at times.

      Delete
  51. Sorority House Massacre (1986)

    Seriously half this movie is dream interpretation.

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  52. House (1985)

    Ken Burns' "The Vietnam War": Part 666.

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  53. Evil Dead II (1987): Cabin in the woods BnB not great.

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  54. Son of Dracula (1943)

    Get it? Alucard is Dracula spelled backwards!

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    Replies
    1. Just as funny as Angel Heart.

      Spoilers ahead


      Louis Cipher is Lucifer

      Get it

      Delete
  55. Hatchet (2006): Smash, rip, chop. Me 'ead's torn off!

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  56. The Vindicator (1986)

    Woody asks, "Are we driving through plutonium?"

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  57. Jeepers Creepers (2001)
    "So he eats dicks to grow...dicks?"

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  58. Terminator (1984)
    Siri could only take so much abuse.

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    Replies
    1. “SIRI, WHERE IS SARAH CONNER”

      “Calling, Stephen Sommers.”

      Delete
  59. It (2017)
    Greatest two hour omission of all time!

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  60. Let Me In (2010)

    While not terrible, it's far too Americanized.

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  61. Rubber (2010)

    Blowing up stuff is fun, but tiring.

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  62. Slugs (1988)

    Hope surviving slugs reunite for Blu-ray commentary.

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  63. King Kong (1933)

    Racism? Sexism? A wall? God damn it...

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  64. Maniac Cop (1988)

    Chin versus Chin: Rumble in Sing Sing

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  65. A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

    Lin Shaye not ready to investigate further.

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  66. Don't Kill It (2016)

    Black eyes, bad CGIs: lotta fun, guys.

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  67. Xtro Brand new 2017 Directors version

    The Weirdest film ever just got Weirder

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    Replies
    1. Harry has been at it again. Digitally altering and changing the film. It's hard When you love something Like I do to see a different version. It's kinda like Star Wars fans reactions to the changed versions. I admit some of the new trippy effects do work. Some dont. The new Clown looks almost cartoonish. Very sublime. The new Credits do look better. The abduction looks even stranger with extra flashing lights and digital trickery. The action man scene shot now through shadows looks definetly scarier. The original one is still the best version but i love having another strange version to enjoy for a trippy change

      Delete
  68. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)

    There is something that says leather daddy.

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  69. Howling II (1985)

    Just fast forward to the end credits.

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  70. Clown (2014)

    Cool clown make-up. But that's about it.

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  71. The Kindred (1987)

    Killer watermelon? Buckaroo Banzai does not approve.

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  72. Body Bags (1993)

    Carpenter can't quite crack corny Cryptie quips.

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  73. Bordello of Blood (1996)

    Dennis Miller's wardrobe provided by The Mall.

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  74. The Mummy (2017):

    ...or Foreign Policy According To Donald Trump.

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  75. Nosferatu (1922):
    Larry is the worst vampire name ever.

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  76. Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge (1989)

    Fine, insert tiresome Pauly Shore quote here.

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  77. Tucker and Dale vs Evil (2010)
    The most scathing criticism of millennial aptitude

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  78. Fender Bender (2016)

    Always be weary of mysteriously found cake.

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  79. Asylum (1972)

    Britt Ekland is your imaginary friend too!

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  80. The Exorcist III (1990)

    George C Scott tackles a party platter.

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    Replies
    1. The Asylum flasher is one of my favourite scenes ever

      Delete
  81. Crimson Peak (2015)

    Why does everyone pull the knives out?

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  82. The Burning (1981)
    Now I've seen Jason Alexander's bare ass.

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  83. Insidious: Chapter 3 (2015)

    Tinder profile: Emphysema ghost seeking college girl.

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  84. Halloween (2007)

    The Spy Kids sequel we all wanted

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  85. Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
    Normal Finley looks like West Wing’s C.J.

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  86. Alien (1979)
    John puts the "hurt" in John Hurt.

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  87. Blood Harvest (1987)
    Wanna make Tiny Tim creepier? Clown makeup!

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  88. Creature of the Black Lagoon (1954)

    Creature effects owns bones. Underrated Universal classic.

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  89. The Spider Labyrinth (1988)

    Apocalyptic cult has really nice underground spa.

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  90. The Bye Bye Man (2017)

    Or as I call it: Lil' Sinister

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  91. WNUF Halloween Special (2013)

    Recommend supplementing your viewing with household chores.

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  92. The Undertaker (1988)
    It's like Maniac but without the artistry.

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  93. Lake Bodom (2016)
    Never trust the Finnish. Just ask Mikko.

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    Replies
    1. You're absolutely right. You don't even know if that's my real name. That's the twist!

      Delete
  94. Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007):

    Working title was Rob Zombie's Boner Jams.

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  95. Species (1995)

    Has anyone figured out Ben Kingsley's career?

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  96. The Girl With All the Gifts (2016). All the gifts except being interesting

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  97. Night of the Living Dead (1968)

    Judith O'Dea's Wig Master deserved an Oscar

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  98. Wishmaster (1997)

    Poor Josh, forever in the friend zone

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    Replies
    1. Dude, he gets dinner and a movie at the end!

      Delete
    2. I know...I tend to jump the gun with my 7 word reviews

      Delete
  99. Thinner (1996)

    The next 90s horror movie I'll legitimize

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  100. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

    Yay, she got the penis--erm, chainsaw!

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  101. The Descent (2005)
    Leave your evidence of adultery at home.

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  102. The Belko Experiment (2016)

    Not enough Michael Rooker. Otherwise, it's fine.

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  103. Sleepaway Camp (1983)

    Some shitty kids do deserve getting slashed.

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    Replies
    1. And some deserve curling irons getting shoved places.

      Delete
  104. The Blob (1958)
    Please listen to that teenager! He's forty-five!

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  105. The Devil's Candy (2015) Dir. Sean Byrne

    Kirk Hammett doesn't play a Gibson! Fuck!

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  106. Suspiria (1977)
    Even maggots are beautiful at the ballet.

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  107. Zombi - Dawn of the Dead (1978) UHD set

    Refn presents Argento presenting Romero (featuring Goblin).

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  108. The Hallow (2015) dir. Corin Hardy
    Appease these trees with your baby, please.

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  109. Grave Encounters (2011)

    Hey Mr. Ghost, why the long face?

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  110. The Prowler (1981)

    Hard to be sneaky while carrying pitchfork.

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  111. Gerald's Game (2017)

    Remember folks, always bring some extra lube.

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  112. New Year’s Evil

    And I thought my family was dysfunctional.

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  113. Suspiria (1977, dir. Dario Argento) theatrical
    I'd never noticed that airport McDonald's before!

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    Replies
    1. Me neither! It somehow made the movie eerier.

      Delete
  114. The House on Sorrority Row (1983)
    The punctured waterbed was the real tragedy

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  115. The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
    Dang, my money was on the "Dragonbat"

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  116. Basket Case 2 (1990)

    How I imagined turd sex would be.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And as usual you take it to 11 and I love it!

      Delete
  117. Fright Night (1985)
    Charley never got to eat his dinner.

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  118. Creep (2014)

    Peachfuzz is a sweet metal band name!

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  119. HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER II

    Confusing journey into the labyrinth of hell.

    It does have some good practical effects.

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  120. The Devil's Rejects

    Yeah Roy's in here, come on in.

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  121. Psycho (1960)

    A boy’s best friend is his mummy.

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  122. The Dark Half (1993)

    The dark half of King/Romero collaborations.

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  123. HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH (1982)

    Tom Atkins: Father, Doctor, Private Investigator, Lady-Killer

    ReplyDelete