Men Behind the Sun 3: A Narrow Escape (1994, dir. Godfrey Ho)Boring Chinese Nazisploitation, from their Bruno Mattei.
A Ghost Story (2017)Affleck seriously buff in brief sheetless scene.
Scream and Scream Again (1970, dir. Gordon Hessler)Deliberately confusing Price/Lee/Cushing oddity. Frustrating.
Julia's Eyes (2010, Dir: Guillem Morales)Kinda unfair to call them Julia's eyes.
Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994)Meta before meta realized it was meta
Sheitan (2006, dir. Kim Chapiron)Awesome Cassel performance; takes forever getting started.
Road Games (1981)Buttloads of Keach, not enough Jamie Lee
Snow White: A Tale of Terror (1997): Mallificent mirror makes mourning mother mad murderess.
Black Christmas (1974) ME Goodbye! OLIVIA HUSSEY Goodbye??...Goodbye??!!... GOODBYE!!!!!????
Ghost World (2001)Zero ghosts, just one funny looking guy.
Pumpkinhead (1988)Tracy has some interesting ideas regarding balls.
The Dead Zone (1983)Hard to review without pissing off JB
Ghostwatch (1992(Weirdly disturbing; more truthful than Fox News.
CRY_WOLF (2005)Shot through the heart was very prophetic.
TURISTAS (2006)John Stockwell must really like the beach.
THE MESSENGERS (2007)Even K-Stew couldn't save us from this.
The Gorgon (1964)Starting final push on scary movie listOrI needed some Cushing for the pushing
The Blob (1988)Dillon's mullet makes me want to blob.
Scream (1996) (With my high school film class)Had to explain land lines to students. orStudents on Randy: "Mr D., that's you!"
Best compliment ever!!
I had to explain to my students who the blond girl was, and why it was a big deal she got killed in the start.
From Beneath (2012) Proof that not everyone can be Cronenberg.
Microwave Massacre (1983)So hungry I could eat a whore...ORPuns! Puns everywhere! Patrick must be delightedOrWho cooks "great" coussine in a microwave?
My Bloody Valentine (1981)The best parties are held in mineshafts.
Sleepy Hollow (1999)What drops more; heads or people fainting?
Drag Me To Hell (2009)Now it’s quiet, now it’s loud. Repeat.
Kuroneko (1968)Hauntingly beautiful, but that guy's not 22.
The Fog (2005 remake)You lost me with Fall Out Boy.
I'm sorry you spent time watching this, when you could've been at the dentist or something. It's so bad it made me doubt all movies, until I saw the original as an antidote.
Hey, I had a very similar reaction. It's aggressively mediocre. It made me so upset I went off on a whole tirade about remakes and the state of the movie industry.
All The Colours Of The Dark, aka Day Of The Maniac, aka They're Coming To Get You, aka Tutti I Colori Del Buio (1972)Edwige Fenech, scrambling, screaming, showering? Yes please.OrRelieve life problems with vitamins and Satan
Island of Lost Souls (1932)This story still hasn't been filmed better.
The Ritual (2017)That Swedish deer Loki Thor them apart.
Candyman (1992)Was promised a golden ticket, given bees.
Audition (1999)If Fatal Attraction met Misery and Saw.
Silence of the Lambs (1991)Buffalo Bill- transvestite... or Robert Plant cosplayer?
Halloween (1978)Throw a chair through the fucking window
Leprechaun 4: In Space (1997)Was that middle finger intended for us?
Tetsuo: The Iron Man (1989) Imagine Marvel with this guy, not Stark.
The Forest (1982)Standard slasher with added bonus: ghost kids!
Species (1995)Like Bye Bye Man, casually introduces psychic.
The Mist (2007)Black and white highlighting shades of grey.
Species (1995)S&M, Bondage, Tentacle porn. Movie has Everything!
"Have you seen Alien? It's like a sub-par Species."
ringu 1998vhs anti piracy measures, a bit harsh
The Midnight Hour (1985)In the running for funnest movie ever.
Deathgasm (2015)Heavy metal forward is worse than backward.
Event Horizon (1997)Sam Neill seeks out his intergalactic velociraptor.
the wicker man 1973pagan anti celibacy measures, a bit harsh
Billy the Kid Versus Dracula (1966)YOU could make a better horror movie.
Honeymoon Horror (1982) "Honeymoon Island." That's a real place, right?
Raw Force (1982)Warriors Island: ideal destination for beach vacation.
"House of 1,000 Corpses" (2003)Chicken will never be the same again.
Found Footage 3D in 2D (2016)Careful! Those fourth wall shards are sharp.
Pieces (1982) with fthismovie commentaryEnding: Like cutting off Micheal Jordan's arms.
Evil Dead 2 (1987)The best Muppet movie since the original.
Poltergeist III (1988) Boyle's character is named Donna?!? Where's James?
The Innkeepers (2011)Maybe the ghost just wanted fresh towels?
The Final Girls (2015)Camp Bloodbath 3 will be the standout.
Mad Monster Party (1967)Frankenstein’s monster almost becomes The Diller Killer.
Tremors (1990)The most likable horror movie cast ever?
Candyman (1992)Bee meaning to replace that medicine cabinet.
A Bay of Blood (1971)Slitting all the throats in the bay.
Sorority Girls and the Creature from Hell (1990) Title makes promise that movie doesn't deliver.
The Babysitter (2017)McWould've McBeen a Mcbetter McMovie without McG
Saw (2004)Sorry, I will Elwes love this movie.
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)I want to visit that toy store.
The Prowler (1981)Decent movie but what were motives? Questions?
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1984)Imagine Hooper if it was weed-whacker massacre.
Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood (2003)How is this fucking franchise still going?
Night of The Living Dead (1990)This is the secret origin of Candyman.
Antibirth (2016)"What the fuck....did I just watch?"
They LiveMaybe the big fight could be... longer?
Saw Mark Hamill's twig while doing Twiggy.
The Fly (1986) Dir. David CronenbergChristian Bale would've used a bloody double.
In The Mouth of Madness (1994)Man, Sam Neil has seen some shit.
The Green Chamber of Linnais (Linnaisten Vihreä Kamari) (1945)Family secrets, counterfeit Counts, drafty castle. #noblemanproblems
Son of Dracula (1943)Dracula spelled backwards is not very compelling.
Dracula's Daughter (1936)No joking - this is a wonderful film!
Asylum (1972)Peter Cushing and the technicolor death suit.
Leprechaun: Back 2 Tha Hood (2003)Use this review as my suicide note.
Happy Death Day (2017)It's like déja vu all over again.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)Still beats up your dad's horror movie.
As Above So Below (2014)More like International Treasure: Book of Secrets
The Invitation (2015)I want Scary Month to roll on.
In the Mouth of MadnessDoubt he's actually sorry about the balls.
Creep (2014) Camera man wanted for his life’s work!
Eaten Alive (1976)Man, Judd is really BITING his time.
Stitches (2012)Opening a jar is a plot device.
I am Not a Serial Killer (2016)Nonviolent sociopath? Been telling people this interminably.
The Lamp (1987) Makes Wishmaster look like… Wishmaster, I guess.
The Babadook (2014)JB was right, this one is special
Wrong Turn (2003)How is Eliza's tank staying so clean?
Urban LegendProof that Jared Leto was once normal.
Leatherface (2017)Why, why, why, why was this made?
Night of of the Seagulls (1975)It's Straw Dogs, but with templar zombies?
The Burning (1981)Campfire story scene accurately describes movie's producer.
The Final Girls (2015)This is funny! Wait, why'm I crying?
American Psycho (2000)Social thriller or cocaine induced yuppie horror?
Stir of Echoes:I would have rather been raped instead
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House of Wax (2005)Paris Hilton is definitely no Janet Leigh.
The Faculty (1998)I forgot Elijah Wood was a teenager
Halloween (1978)This movie is slowly growing on me.
orDarn teenagers, always stealing knives and rope.