Wednesday, July 11, 2018

FTM 446 - JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM

Patrick and Adam Riske are alive. Like dinosaurs.



Download this episode here. (46 MB)

Listen to F This Movie! on Stitcher.

Also discussed this episode: At First Sight (1999), Reality Bites (1994), Days of Thunder (1990), Halloween: Resurrection (2002), Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018), Mission: Impossible (1996), Mission: Impossible II (2000)

30 comments:

  1. I kept waiting for Eastern European dinosaur guy to turn into Danny Nucci. Next time, baby.

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    1. I had the same ask while I was watching the movie.

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  2. I'm laughing my ass off and enjoying this episode despite kind of loving the movie.

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  3. Oh man, I've been looking forward to this one! Somehow the contempt that (unconsciously?) slipped into Adam's enunciation of the words "Jurassic World" in the previous film's podcast has become the only way I can hear that title in my head, and I was a little worried y'all (justifiably) wouldn't give this one a podcast. "How long was the hearing?!" absolutely cracked me up.

    For me this film was RIGHT on that line between "too dumb" and "fun dumb." I really wish it had swung more into the latter, or continued piling on the random ideas every five minutes, but it just spends so much time wanting us to take seriously the most boring elements of this series, especially the bond between Pratt and "Blue" which was not only badly executed, but misconceived in the first place for what it does to the raptors as monsters. That eats up a lot of time and energy and keeps it from being the kind of cheery direct-to-video schlock its defenders seem to want it to be. See also all the references to Corman out there.

    I for one was really thrilled to discover the movie was turning into Jurassic Mansion, for the "we've seen the island movie a bunch of times" reason. Agreed though that it wasn't well-done, and really confused about how to make a spooky house movie. The original film's velociraptor kitchen scene basically already marked out how to do this: play up the dinosaurs as sneaky, creepy, beasts that can sniff you out, and you have to hide from them and slam doors behind you. Got it. "Indoraptor" obviously offers very little of that (and seems to be considerably less smart and effective, not to mention less scary, than the original raptor).... and meanwhile all the other dinosaurs are thrashy monsters capable of wrecking the whole house so the premise is just doomed. Then you have the total thematic confusion about dinosaur proliferation or whatever (more interesting: the genetic *technology* proliferates, not just, you know... a few dinosaurs running loose in the woods) and the rubbish about Bryce Dino Howard's save-the-dinosaurs agency (which I agree: cool idea for a real movie, not thought out enough for even this B-movie)... cut all that out and add like eight or nine ideas as silly as dino auction, clone daughter, and flinty dino veterinarian, and you really might have something. One thing I'll say: it actually attempts to construct small-scale dilemmas and obstacles (gotta get this blood from a dino while we're trapped in a small box, gotta get out of this cage, gotta get out of this hamster ball...) which is really more than Jurassic World mustered for most of its running time. They aren't the best set pieces in the world, but you understand how the characters get into a fix and how they use ingenuity to try and get out of it and that's at least SOMETHING.

    Heads up to Patrick though - the two competing groups running around the island seeking the same dinosaurs for different reasons is already the plot of "The Lost World"!

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    1. Good call. Clearly I don't remember The Lost World very well. But that one didn't have the ticking clock of an erupting volcano! Totally different movie!

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    2. Just realized the biggest missed opportunity here: Jurassic Mansion is built above Jurassic Laboratory but nothing at all mad-scientist-lab-like is done down there, even though the idea of dinosaurs that "aren't ready yet" is forefronted in the plot. Couldn't we have gotten a scene of hideous freak dino-failures running loose, with multiple heads, raptor claws coming out of their raptor claws, human-dino hybrids... something? At the least, a ripoff the Alien: Resurrection scene with all the botched Ripleys would have made the clone angle in this a lot more interesting! Sigh.

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    3. Yes. If only it were as good as Alien: Resurrection :-)

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    4. SCENARIO: Bryce Dino Howard, racing around a corner in the Jurassic Basement, suddenly skids to a halt as her eyes widen in shock. CUT TO: row upon row of giant test tubes, each containing slightly different variants of Bryce Dino Howard floating in suspended animation, with different haircuts, footwear, and dinosaur parts. Little Girl nods approvingly. "You're alive, because they are." Before anyone can stop her, she smacks a red button, releasing eleven monstrous Bryces upon the world..

      Possibly ALIEN: COVENANT ripoff version: in the confusion, nobody notices that Bryce has been disembowled and replaced by a nearly-identical Bryce, differentiated only by discreetly retractable raptor claws, and the ability to spit dilophosaurus venom. B.D. Wong, observing everything on his monitor screens, nods approvingly.

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  4. I'm on the side of dumb fun with this one. Jurassic Park III is still the low point for me and these sequels/reboots. When I watched Carnosaur for Junesploitation, I thought, Well, if you threw more money at this you'd have a Jurassic World movie. And I'm not too far off, I don't think.

    I thought the Trump jokes were a little odd too. But I guess they'd work in a Roger Corman movie. Although, I never took the parallel to the place you seem to have suggested, Patrick. When you made that point, it opened up parallels to something I don't think I can force out of my head now. I don't think it was intentional on Trevorrow and Bayona's part, since I don't think this particular topic was in the news when the film was written and shot, but even so, it's hard not to see it in this particularly exploitative way. But yes, I'm with you on how out of place it seemed. Eh, maybe a Roger Corman movie was their intent all along.

    It's oddly fascinating to me that for the ten years of franchise dormancy between Jurassic Park III and Jurassic World, all of the drafts being written for further JP films involved weaponized dinosaurs and dinosaur/human hybrids. John Sayles even contributed to these early drafts. I can't help but think those drafts imply that this will somehow end up being the endgame of Jurassic World 3. Somebody at Universal has wanted Jurassic Park to go in this direction for a very long time.

    I couldn't ignore all of the blatant Spielbergisms in the film, but the one that stands out the most for me is thr last shot before the end titles: clearly a lift from the scene in the beginning of E.T. when E.T. is on the hill looking down at the neighborhood.

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    1. The last shot definitely reminded me of E.T. and that made me depressed because why would anyone want to see a raptor attack a neighborhood presumably full of kids?

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    2. True... if it was any other raptor. I don't believe Blue would attack any kids. But their parents don't know that. But more important than that... are they really saying Blue is the E.T. of their franchise?

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    3. Can you imagine a version of E.T. where everything is the same, except in this version, E.T. is played by Blue the raptor? That's just... odd.

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    4. I can't believe we're having this conversation. I mean that as a knock on JWFK, not on you.

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    5. If JW3 isn't called Jurassic World War, I'd call that a missed opportunity.

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  5. Very entertaining episode guys! I basically said my peace on the film in the weekend open thread (I was not at all expecting a podcast on it). It's horrible, but I wasn't expecting anything so I wasn't angry or upset about it. I don't think there's anything about this film that's better than the first one though. I don't like the Indominus Rex, but it's light years better than the endo*whatever*raptor. That movie had an actual decent climax, while the ending sequence of this film was so weak and terrible. I remember a lot of moments in Jurassic World (for better or worse), but I'm forgetting this movie by the second. Except for "they're alive like me" which I think I'll remember forever as THE example of a horribly terrible line of dialogue.

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    1. Another reason the Indoraptor is stupid: The Indominus Rex was part raptor already so mixing IR with a raptor just makes more raptor. It's the dinosaur equivalent of Cap'n Crunch Oops All Berries cereal.

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    2. Jurassic World: Oops All Raptor (2020, dir. Colin Trevorrow)

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    3. "They're alive. Like me." - Cap'n Crunch before he presses the big red button unleashing more crunch berries

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    4. They'll keep adding more Raptor to these creations until eventually it's just a Raptor but they'll still sell it for TWENTY MILLIONS.

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    5. Blue makes his way to a Toronto Raptors game and receives an alley-oop from DeMar Derozan.

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    6. Is the third film just going to be a direct to DVD animation about the adorable misadventures of Blue?

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    7. Blue So Crazy: Jurassic World

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  6. "Nobody cares about BD Wong!" Tell that to my friend in college who was obsessed with him and once told me that he was her favorite character in Jurassic Park. My response, "Him?"

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  7. You guys putting on an accent and riffing on the auction scene is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard

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  8. I loved the movie - spent the last half hour with the hugest grin on my face. Both Jurassic World and Fallen Kingdom have clearly taken the "Biggerer, Louderer, and Dumberer is Betterer" course at the University of the Fast & Furious, and both gotten top marks. Again, there are plot holes in this movie an eight-year-old could spot, and the filmmakers keep forgetting that the T-Rex is heavy enough to shake the ground, and thus can't possibly sneak up on anyone. (To be fair, though, Spielberg himself kinda started that at the end of JP.) Throw in a few funny jabs at F***face von Clownstick, and you've got yourself a delicious, juicy cheeseburger of summer fun.

    And, I look forward to seeing [X]'s secret dino-powers activate when the next movie hits in three years' time. Because the truth is, unless one makes a Before Sunrise-style romance that just happens to be set at the park during its functioning years(and, to be clear, I would absolutely watch that) one can really only make one good Jurassic Park movie, and that was the original. After that, it's all just variations on "snakes with legs eat people", so the trend of going bigger and sillier is one I'm totally on board with. Then again, I thought The Fate of the Furious was terrific fun, so what do I know? :P

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  9. i think i posted this a couple of weeks ago when the movie came out, but here it is again. i invite you all to read this

    https://io9.gizmodo.com/jurassic-world-fallen-kingdom-the-spoiler-faq-1827136902


    thank god i didn't pay to watch this.

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    1. and here is the one on the first movie

      https://io9.gizmodo.com/jurassic-world-the-spoiler-faq-1712042566

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  10. To answer Patrick's question about the moment in Jurassic Park after Hammond says "welcome to Jurassic Park" and why the camera pushes into Sam Neil as he looks in amazement for the second time: That second look is when he first sees the lake, where there are several dinosaurs (brachiosaurs and parasaurolophuses). It's not unwarranted. It's one thing to see a dinosaur for the first time - now he's seeing several, including another species, all in the one place. (You'll notice the amazement returns with every new species they are introduced to, or promised). Personally, I'd lose my shit. Sam Neil's reaction seems almost understated. 😀

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  11. Amazing episode, guys. I was listening in public, laughed out loud and looked like a crazy person several times. I can't believe no one else has called it Jurassic Mansion yet, it's brilliant!

    I totally agree with how stupid all of the things you point out are... but the movie still really worked on me. I think it's funny you bring up Prometheus because I had a similar response to that film. I 100% see and agree with the criticisms, but they just don't bother me.

    I loved this movie, and am honestly a bit terrified to see it again because the magic may wear off.

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