TOWER OF EVIL, aka HORROR ON SNAPE ISLAND (1972, 29 min.) on CONtv (first 75 min.) and YouTube (last 15 min.) for the first time.So dull/boring flick self-destructs before ending.[Seriously, the HD version streaming on CONtv has 15 min. to go when it stops on its own... wTF??!!]
89! It's 89 minutes long, not 29! That's what I get for posting these overnight while at work. :-P
THE GATE (1987, 85 min.) on TubiTV for the first time.A kinder, gentler "Pet Sematary"... FROM HELL!!!orNothing scarier than minutes-long streaming commercial interruptions.
The Number 23 (2007, Dir. Joel Schumacher) Not as scary as Adam's 525 obsession.
The Mummy (1959)Cushing plays a 48 year old youngster.
Monster Squad (1987)Bribery using photos of your sister.... bananas (Mickey from Michigan)
Night of the Living Dead (1968)Alpha male kills jerk, steals hiding idea.
Candyman (1992)Those drug dealers were dealt with quick
What We Do in the Shadows (2014)Everyone needs a best friend like Stu
Kwaidan (1964)Artful, entrancing folk tales. Dubious moral lessons.
Halloween (1978)Maybe Michael just wants Laurie’s Babysitter money
Halloween 2 (1981)Loomis acts like a man with Alzheimer.orThat Michael Myers costume was so lifelike.
Lifeforce (1985)I’d kiss Space Girl, oops Patrick Stewart.
Crimson Peak (2015)With English accent comes great creepy responsibility.
STARRY EYES (2014)Be careful. You'll pull your hair out.
Triloquist (2008) Dir. Mark Jones"Ventriloquist? How can we make that.... shorter?"
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)Artisan Entertainment rips off Dimension, bores audience!
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994)Finally, Shelley's original Kali Ma scene restored
SCREAM 3 (2000)As expected...Parker Posey steals the show.
DEAD TIME STORIES (1986)What a waste of good practical effects.
The House Of The Devil (2009)Thinking it may be a pizza baby.
Child's Play (1988)One of the most unlikely great movies?
The Entity (1982)Barbara Hershey kills it in meh movie
Black Devil Doll From Hell (1984)Whatever you do, please don't watch this.
He made another movie, you know.... lol
Arachnophobia (1990)Warlock should have seen that shit comingorThere's nothing like a refreshing spider showerorStrangely happy when old man dies horribly.
Fender Bender (2016)Guy gets great gimp get-up going.
Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later (1998)Michael's peepers? Too dreamy for the devil.or Fun forbidden party vibe killed by Creed.
Idle Hands (1999)VH1's Where Are They Now for Thing.
The Ritual (2017)Camping needs covered! Magical forest liquor store!
Ha! Fuck yeah!Sorry to throw off the count but this was too awesome
Pirahna (1978)Swimmer becomes entrée. Thank you Joe Dante!
Stoker (2013)Some birthday present variety would be nice.
RUIN ME (2017)One twist too many. Ruined the movie.
The Dark Power (1985)Lash La Rue whips undead Toltecs silly!
Digging Up the Marrow (2015, dir. Adam Green)Pumpkin Jack is so totally the Miranda.
The Blackcoat's Daughter (2015)Still not scarier than actual Catholic schoolorCigarettes? Severed heads? It's high school again!orPortrait of a Catholic schoolgirl gone wild
Blood Rage (1987)Cranberry sauce? Todd would never say that.
All the Colors of the Dark (1972)Edwige Fenech has just changed my world
Malevolent (Netflix) 2018Wait! Those eyebrows weren't in style then!
Scream (1996)Thinking of review, I'll be right back
The Alphabet Killer (2008)The crap I'll watch for Eliza Dushku
Jack-O (1995)Even Linnea Quigley couldn't save this travesty.
Tales Of Halloween (2015)Can't identify the Rusty Rex? It's you
Carrie (1976) The origin of the phrase "carried away"
Phantasm (1979)Kid needs balls to get over loss.
Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)Needs at least AMERICAN VANDAL-quality acting
Demon Wind (1990)Not feeling ironically "fun" movies this year
The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb (1964)Well, you took your damn time, Mummy.
Cat People (1982)More John Heard nudity than I expected.
Carrie (1976) The power of Christ compels you... Not!
Haxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages (1922)The source of half of my avatars
Dolls (1987)My Davos figure would give great counsel.
Dracula 2000 (2000)Monster Magnet movie magnetically attracts movie monster
For the Love of Halloween (2018)Wish ArieScope Halloween shorts were on Blu-ray.
The WitchHow much wood did i just chop!
The Amityville Horror (1979, dir. Stuart Rosenberg)From money-grabbing hoax to mediocre motion picture.
Pet (2016)Nothing wrong with a little puppy love.
Rabid (1977): Rabies outbreaks are way sexier in Canada.
Im Not A Serial Killer (2016)"Great scott Marty! I've become a monster!"
Candyman 2: Farewell to the Flesh (1995)New Orleans aka “It’s Always Mardi Gras”
This comment has been removed by the author.
Open Windows (2014)This *screenshot* movie *screenshot* fucking *screenshot* sucks.
DREAD (2009)Note to self: Birthmarks don't scrub off.
Hell Fest (2018) There are too many characters named Gavin.
The Innkeepers (2011)More atmosphere, more conjuring? More beer! please? orOnce Upon a Time Inn Ti West.
Extremity (2018): Rob Zombie movie without Sheri and Rednecks
Gremlins (1984)Would Gizmo win America's Got Talent?
Halloween 5 (1989)Rachel, is Wolfie ok? I hear barking.
Bubba Ho-tep (2002)Peanut butter and banana stuffed jelly donut.
Shredder (2003)Slasher on the slopes, I'm on board.
Carrie (1976, dir. Brian De Palma)Amityville and Carrie, a fun-filled double feature.
Jack-O (1995)Linnea killing it in this; Brinke cameo. Yes!
Burial Ground (1981)Striking social commentary about public breast feeding.
Blood Fest (2018, dir. Owen Egerton)Ok, but can I watch 'Arbor Day'?
As Above, So Below (2014)Could've used Harry Potter and Benjamin Gates.
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (Producer's Cut) (1995):So Haddonfield Hospital security still sucks, huh?
Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes ManhattanYou hear "Manhattan", you think "Tiny Boat"
House of the Devil (2011)Maybe I'm face blind, was that Gerwig?
Rasputin: The Mad Monk (1966)Definitely not making this my rap name.
Jennifer’s Body (2009) Now I know what a “wettie” is.
Carrie (1976)Even better with Patrick Bromley's post commentary.
1408(2007) Number of DTV Cusak movies since ths.
*this
The Others(2001) A DracuDoug favorite if I do recall.
Beneath (2013) Lifeboat scenario, but with way more stupid
Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI (1986)Kevin Williamson's favorite Friday and it shows
Winchester (2018) Groo: "I am the prince of Chichester."
Frankenstein vs Baragon (1965)Suddenly an "octopus"? Happy Birthday, Ed Wood!
Hollow Man II (2006)Lacks the fluidity of Verhoeven's evanescent masterpiece.
Night of the CometHow does Robert Beltran get top billing?
Adam & Evil (2004)Adam & Evil, not Adam & Stevil
The Gravedancers (2005)The corpse of Gene Kelly was mesmerizing.
Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987) Dir. Bruce PittmanSoak your dress in turpentine AFTER prom.
Carrie (1976)I'd slaughter a pig for Nancy Allen.
Freddy vs. JasonThe winner by technical knockout, Jason Voorhees!
Black Christmas(1974)Open the pod bay... basement window, Jesse
The Conjuring (2013)Can't dig the frauds portrayed as heroes
The Exorcist III (1990)When we’re dancing on the ceiling outtakes.
War of the Gargantuas (1966)He ain't heavy, he's..FREAKING EATING PEOPLE?!?!?!?
Xtro (1982) Atherton version!New diet plan: watch Xtro, barf everywhere
The Invisible Man (1933)I can’t see anything wrong with it.
The House That Dripped Blood (1971)Cushing and Acklund wanna wax that ass.
Carrie (1976)Great performances amplified by big screen viewing.
Malevolent (2018)My introduction in film to Florence Pugh.
Repo! the Genetic Opera (2008)After singing, Paris Hilton couldn't save face.
Dead Hooker in a Trunk (2009)Major trauma? Just grab tape and thread.
XX (2017)Framing sequence doubles as a Tool video.
Resident Evil (2002)Catherine Zeta Jones still laser dodging champion.
The Midnight Man (2016)It's a movie that's free on Hulu.
TOWER OF EVIL, aka HORROR ON SNAPE ISLAND (1972, 29 min.) on CONtv (first 75 min.) and YouTube (last 15 min.) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteSo dull/boring flick self-destructs before ending.
[Seriously, the HD version streaming on CONtv has 15 min. to go when it stops on its own... wTF??!!]
89! It's 89 minutes long, not 29! That's what I get for posting these overnight while at work. :-P
DeleteTHE GATE (1987, 85 min.) on TubiTV for the first time.
ReplyDeleteA kinder, gentler "Pet Sematary"... FROM HELL!!!
or
Nothing scarier than minutes-long streaming commercial interruptions.
The Number 23 (2007, Dir. Joel Schumacher)
ReplyDeleteNot as scary as Adam's 525 obsession.
The Mummy (1959)
ReplyDeleteCushing plays a 48 year old youngster.
Monster Squad (1987)
ReplyDeleteBribery using photos of your sister.... bananas
(Mickey from Michigan)
Night of the Living Dead (1968)
ReplyDeleteAlpha male kills jerk, steals hiding idea.
Candyman (1992)
ReplyDeleteThose drug dealers were dealt with quick
What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
ReplyDeleteEveryone needs a best friend like Stu
Kwaidan (1964)
ReplyDeleteArtful, entrancing folk tales. Dubious moral lessons.
Halloween (1978)
ReplyDeleteMaybe Michael just wants Laurie’s Babysitter money
Halloween 2 (1981)
ReplyDeleteLoomis acts like a man with Alzheimer.
or
That Michael Myers costume was so lifelike.
Lifeforce (1985)
ReplyDeleteI’d kiss Space Girl, oops Patrick Stewart.
Crimson Peak (2015)
ReplyDeleteWith English accent comes great creepy responsibility.
STARRY EYES (2014)
ReplyDeleteBe careful. You'll pull your hair out.
Triloquist (2008) Dir. Mark Jones
ReplyDelete"Ventriloquist? How can we make that.... shorter?"
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)
ReplyDeleteArtisan Entertainment rips off Dimension, bores audience!
Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994)
ReplyDeleteFinally, Shelley's original Kali Ma scene restored
SCREAM 3 (2000)
ReplyDeleteAs expected...Parker Posey steals the show.
DEAD TIME STORIES (1986)
ReplyDeleteWhat a waste of good practical effects.
The House Of The Devil (2009)
ReplyDeleteThinking it may be a pizza baby.
Child's Play (1988)
ReplyDeleteOne of the most unlikely great movies?
The Entity (1982)
ReplyDeleteBarbara Hershey kills it in meh movie
Black Devil Doll From Hell (1984)
ReplyDeleteWhatever you do, please don't watch this.
He made another movie, you know.... lol
DeleteArachnophobia (1990)
ReplyDeleteWarlock should have seen that shit coming
or
There's nothing like a refreshing spider shower
or
Strangely happy when old man dies horribly.
Fender Bender (2016)
ReplyDeleteGuy gets great gimp get-up going.
Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later (1998)
ReplyDeleteMichael's peepers? Too dreamy for the devil.
or
Fun forbidden party vibe killed by Creed.
Idle Hands (1999)
ReplyDeleteVH1's Where Are They Now for Thing.
The Ritual (2017)
ReplyDeleteCamping needs covered! Magical forest liquor store!
Ha! Fuck yeah!
DeleteSorry to throw off the count but this was too awesome
Pirahna (1978)
ReplyDeleteSwimmer becomes entrée. Thank you Joe Dante!
Stoker (2013)
ReplyDeleteSome birthday present variety would be nice.
RUIN ME (2017)
ReplyDeleteOne twist too many. Ruined the movie.
The Dark Power (1985)
ReplyDeleteLash La Rue whips undead Toltecs silly!
Digging Up the Marrow (2015, dir. Adam Green)
ReplyDeletePumpkin Jack is so totally the Miranda.
The Blackcoat's Daughter (2015)
ReplyDeleteStill not scarier than actual Catholic school
or
Cigarettes? Severed heads? It's high school again!
or
Portrait of a Catholic schoolgirl gone wild
Blood Rage (1987)
ReplyDeleteCranberry sauce? Todd would never say that.
All the Colors of the Dark (1972)
ReplyDeleteEdwige Fenech has just changed my world
Malevolent (Netflix) 2018
ReplyDeleteWait! Those eyebrows weren't in style then!
Scream (1996)
ReplyDeleteThinking of review, I'll be right back
The Alphabet Killer (2008)
ReplyDeleteThe crap I'll watch for Eliza Dushku
Jack-O (1995)
ReplyDeleteEven Linnea Quigley couldn't save this travesty.
Tales Of Halloween (2015)
ReplyDeleteCan't identify the Rusty Rex? It's you
Carrie (1976)
ReplyDeleteThe origin of the phrase "carried away"
Phantasm (1979)
ReplyDeleteKid needs balls to get over loss.
Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)
ReplyDeleteNeeds at least AMERICAN VANDAL-quality acting
Demon Wind (1990)
ReplyDeleteNot feeling ironically "fun" movies this year
The Curse of the Mummy's Tomb (1964)
ReplyDeleteWell, you took your damn time, Mummy.
Cat People (1982)
ReplyDeleteMore John Heard nudity than I expected.
Carrie (1976)
ReplyDeleteThe power of Christ compels you... Not!
Haxan: Witchcraft Through the Ages (1922)
ReplyDeleteThe source of half of my avatars
Dolls (1987)
ReplyDeleteMy Davos figure would give great counsel.
Dracula 2000 (2000)
ReplyDeleteMonster Magnet movie magnetically attracts movie monster
For the Love of Halloween (2018)
ReplyDeleteWish ArieScope Halloween shorts were on Blu-ray.
The Witch
ReplyDeleteHow much wood did i just chop!
The Amityville Horror (1979, dir. Stuart Rosenberg)
ReplyDeleteFrom money-grabbing hoax to mediocre motion picture.
Pet (2016)
ReplyDeleteNothing wrong with a little puppy love.
Rabid (1977):
ReplyDeleteRabies outbreaks are way sexier in Canada.
Im Not A Serial Killer (2016)
ReplyDelete"Great scott Marty! I've become a monster!"
Candyman 2: Farewell to the Flesh (1995)
ReplyDeleteNew Orleans aka “It’s Always Mardi Gras”
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOpen Windows (2014)
DeleteThis *screenshot* movie *screenshot* fucking *screenshot* sucks.
DREAD (2009)
ReplyDeleteNote to self: Birthmarks don't scrub off.
Hell Fest (2018)
ReplyDeleteThere are too many characters named Gavin.
The Innkeepers (2011)
ReplyDeleteMore atmosphere, more conjuring? More beer! please?
or
Once Upon a Time Inn Ti West.
Extremity (2018): Rob Zombie movie without Sheri and Rednecks
ReplyDeleteGremlins (1984)
ReplyDeleteWould Gizmo win America's Got Talent?
Halloween 5 (1989)
ReplyDeleteRachel, is Wolfie ok? I hear barking.
Bubba Ho-tep (2002)
ReplyDeletePeanut butter and banana stuffed jelly donut.
Shredder (2003)
ReplyDeleteSlasher on the slopes, I'm on board.
Carrie (1976, dir. Brian De Palma)
ReplyDeleteAmityville and Carrie, a fun-filled double feature.
Jack-O (1995)
ReplyDeleteLinnea killing it in this; Brinke cameo. Yes!
Burial Ground (1981)
ReplyDeleteStriking social commentary about public breast feeding.
Blood Fest (2018, dir. Owen Egerton)
ReplyDeleteOk, but can I watch 'Arbor Day'?
As Above, So Below (2014)
ReplyDeleteCould've used Harry Potter and Benjamin Gates.
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (Producer's Cut) (1995):
ReplyDeleteSo Haddonfield Hospital security still sucks, huh?
Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan
ReplyDeleteYou hear "Manhattan", you think "Tiny Boat"
House of the Devil (2011)
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm face blind, was that Gerwig?
Rasputin: The Mad Monk (1966)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely not making this my rap name.
Jennifer’s Body (2009)
ReplyDeleteNow I know what a “wettie” is.
Carrie (1976)
ReplyDeleteEven better with Patrick Bromley's post commentary.
1408(2007) Number of DTV Cusak movies since ths.
ReplyDelete*this
DeleteThe Others(2001) A DracuDoug favorite if I do recall.
ReplyDeleteBeneath (2013) Lifeboat scenario, but with way more stupid
ReplyDeleteJason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI (1986)
ReplyDeleteKevin Williamson's favorite Friday and it shows
Winchester (2018)
ReplyDeleteGroo: "I am the prince of Chichester."
Frankenstein vs Baragon (1965)
ReplyDeleteSuddenly an "octopus"? Happy Birthday, Ed Wood!
Hollow Man II (2006)
ReplyDeleteLacks the fluidity of Verhoeven's evanescent masterpiece.
Night of the Comet
ReplyDeleteHow does Robert Beltran get top billing?
Adam & Evil (2004)
ReplyDeleteAdam & Evil, not Adam & Stevil
The Gravedancers (2005)
ReplyDeleteThe corpse of Gene Kelly was mesmerizing.
Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987) Dir. Bruce Pittman
ReplyDeleteSoak your dress in turpentine AFTER prom.
Carrie (1976)
ReplyDeleteI'd slaughter a pig for Nancy Allen.
Freddy vs. Jason
ReplyDeleteThe winner by technical knockout, Jason Voorhees!
Black Christmas(1974)
ReplyDeleteOpen the pod bay... basement window, Jesse
The Conjuring (2013)
ReplyDeleteCan't dig the frauds portrayed as heroes
The Exorcist III (1990)
ReplyDeleteWhen we’re dancing on the ceiling outtakes.
War of the Gargantuas (1966)
ReplyDeleteHe ain't heavy, he's..FREAKING EATING PEOPLE?!?!?!?
Xtro (1982) Atherton version!
ReplyDeleteNew diet plan: watch Xtro, barf everywhere
The Invisible Man (1933)
ReplyDeleteI can’t see anything wrong with it.
The House That Dripped Blood (1971)
ReplyDeleteCushing and Acklund wanna wax that ass.
Carrie (1976)
ReplyDeleteGreat performances amplified by big screen viewing.
Malevolent (2018)
ReplyDeleteMy introduction in film to Florence Pugh.
Repo! the Genetic Opera (2008)
ReplyDeleteAfter singing, Paris Hilton couldn't save face.
Dead Hooker in a Trunk (2009)
ReplyDeleteMajor trauma? Just grab tape and thread.
XX (2017)
ReplyDeleteFraming sequence doubles as a Tool video.
Resident Evil (2002)
ReplyDeleteCatherine Zeta Jones still laser dodging champion.
The Midnight Man (2016)
ReplyDeleteIt's a movie that's free on Hulu.