Sunday, October 7, 2018

2018 Scary Movie Challenge Day 7


109 comments:

  1. LAST SHIFT (2014, 90 min.) on Netflix Instant for the first time.

    Slightly less dangerous than clerking for Kavanaugh.

    or

    The shocking never-before-seen pilot episode of "9-1-1."

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  2. TREMORS 5: BLOODLINES (2015, 99 min.) on Netflix Instant.

    Better subtitle: "Ass Blasters & The Furious!"

    or

    Didn't know Alex Keaton had a stepbrother.

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  3. TREMORS: A COLD DAY IN HELL (2018, 98 min.) on Netflix Instant for the first time.

    "The Jamie Kennedy Experiment" does not work.

    or

    Bummer that Gummer seems like a goner.

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  4. It (2017)

    Headline: Boat Missing Last Scene With Arm

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  5. Possession (1981, Dir. Andrzej Zulawski)

    Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, Polish, Creature, Feature.

    Or

    Button up your shirt Heinrich, you weirdo.

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  6. Ringu (1998)

    Why won’t you just leave Sadaka alone!

    or

    Sadaka is just a poor misunderstood goth

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  7. The Ring (2002)

    Bath time with Brian Cox. Wouldn’t recommend.

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  8. The RingTwo (2005)

    Rachel. Rachel! RAAAAACHEL... Rachel? rachel. Mommy?!?. Rachel!

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  9. Suspiria (1977) - 4K Screening.

    I've gone Suspiria 4K, no going back.

    And

    How many other students tried counting steps?

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  10. Prince of Darkness (1987)

    "This is caca... caca" he whispered dramatically.

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  11. Videodrome (1983)

    Revolution begins with James Woods' stomach vagina

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  12. Friday the 13th, Part V - A New Beginning (1985) w/ F This Movie! commentary

    Choco drool, redneck gruel, Roy loses cool.

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  13. Suspiria (1977)
    Tradeoff... 4K Cinema Screening. Audience hysterically laughing.

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    Replies
    1. It is a phenomenon that puzzles me. I always try to engage with a film on its own terms regardless of quality or the time it was made. Do you think modern audiences are conditioned to laugh at anything (fashions, acting styles) that does not reflect the current time?

      To be honest, the bat scene in Suspiria has always struck me a comical, but it does not color my perception of the whole film.

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    2. What was funny was that last time I watched it everyone was laughing ironically at everything right up until the barbed wire scene. There was kind of this stunned silence, it was awesome. I understand that some scenes can be funny today, like the Dr Mandel scenes but as a whole I don’t find it funny or ironic to watch.

      Delete
  14. Berserker (1988)

    So it’s The Bear Witch Project, then?

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  15. Monkey Shines (1988)

    Tucci-Turner tryst is unexpectedly pretty hot.

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  16. Friday the 13th ("Remake" 2009 - Marcus Nispel)
    Was there a Bay look-alike contest?

    or

    Douches are obsessed with perfectly positioned nipples.

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  17. House on Haunted Hill (1999)

    Like most things, needs more Vincent Price.

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  18. Beyond the Black Rainbow (2010) Dir. Panos Cosmatos

    "Be right there!" *slooooowly walks across room*

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  19. The Tall Man (2012)

    Raza crew's backstories just get more convoluted.

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  20. Trauma (1993)

    Argento's streak of supportive, loving mothers continues.

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  21. Knock Knock (2015)

    There's no such thing as free pizza

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  22. Nina Forever (2015):

    Sometimes, the whole BED'S the wet spot!

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  23. Blood Fest (2018)

    Better than a "synoptic" lobotomy. Only slightly.

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  24. Everything Is Terrible's The Great Satan (2018)

    Appeals to my sensibilities and attention span!

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  25. Ghosthouse a.k.a La Casa 3 (1988)

    Creepy kid, creepy doll, creepy house. Creepy.

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  26. The Green Inferno (2013)

    Meat was overcooked. Would not go again.

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  27. mother! (2017)

    Must be this tall to crowd surf.

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  28. Eaten Alive (1976)

    Did the monkey have other filming commitments?

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  29. HOCUS POCUS
    Helping parents explain virginity since 1993.

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  30. I Vampiri (1957)

    Mad scientist formulas always create bushy eyebrows.

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  31. The Prowler (1981)

    Too much momentum? Enter phone call scene.

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  32. Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders (1996)

    That's not a rabbit in that hat.

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  33. Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)

    "CD head” cenobite obviously values physical media.

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  34. Zombi 3

    Zombie head literally flies across the room.

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  35. The Howling (1981)

    Or How to make vegetarians eat meat

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  36. The Creeps aka Deformed (1997)

    Welcome to Universal monster's half off sale.

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  37. THE BLOOD SPLATTERED BRIDE (1974)

    The horror of women conspiring to emasculate.
    Or
    Vampire lore is a little inconsistent. Forgivable.

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  38. Dracula (1931)

    Nick Fury shows up after the credits.

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  39. Party Line (1988)

    Leif Garrett's stepping stone to World's Dumbest.

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  40. The Night of the Virgin (2016)

    Ew. Did it just... What the... Eeewww!

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  41. Aenigma (1988)

    Do you really want to slug me?

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  42. The Boy (2016)

    Shia LeBouf really needs some professional help.

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  43. The Evil Dead (1981)

    Deadite Linda is Harley Quinn minus pigtails.

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  44. Tremors (1990)
    King of the hill with Kevin Bacon

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  45. The Dark Half (1993)
    Double the Hutton equals double the fun.

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  46. Mutant (1984)

    Basement stairs scene worth price of admission.

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  47. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

    Who wants to be like uncle Mike?

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  48. Starry Eyes (2015, dir. Kevin Kolsch & Dennis Widmyer)
    Not the proper way to use weights.

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  49. Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010, dir. Eli Craig)
    Creates slasher subgenre known as "Wacky Misunderstandings."

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  50. Pieces (1982) Dir. Juan Piqer Simon

    So irresistible, even zombies want Kendall's dick.

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  51. Onibaba (1964)

    Medieval mother-in-law’s mask meddling makes much mucus.

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  52. Dig Two Graves (2014)

    Saw Ted Levine in completely new light.

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  53. Gremlins (1984)

    Mrs. Deagle's death is my earliest kindertrauma.

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  54. Sequence Break (2018)
    "Skipper's artistic vision of finger-banging videogame cabinets."

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  55. Malevolent (2018)- Lips are sealed about that Housebound-ish twist.

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  56. Maniac Mansion (1972)

    I prefer the point and click game.

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  57. Dead Shack (2017)

    Woodsy woman wearing welding-wear weilds weapons.

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  58. The House with a Clock In Its Walls (2018)

    Baby Jack Black is haunting my dreams...

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  59. Kiss of the Vampire (1963)

    Gaslighting vampire cult throws costume party.

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  60. Hide and Go Shriek (1988)

    Fun slasher in a department store flick.

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  61. The House with A Clock in Its Walls (2018)

    Note: One poop joke for every “damn”

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  62. All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)

    What girl runs without a sports bra?

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  63. Wolves at the Door (2016)

    More like wolves at the bore amiright?

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  64. My Bloody Valentine (2009)

    Dismissing this slasher get my Ackles up.

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  65. The Lords of Salem (2012)

    "The golden retriever survived" - my highest recommendation.

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  66. Evil Dead II (1987)

    Plays even better with a big crowd.

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  67. Eye of the Devil

    Damn that must be some great wine

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  68. Extremity (2018)

    I should have watched Last Shift instead.

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  69. Trick 'r Treat (2007; first time viewing!)

    Women werewolf pack deserve their own movie

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  70. The Boy (2016, dir. William Brent Bell)
    Seriously, I just keep watching The Boy.

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  71. The Unborn (2009)

    Dracula, Frankenstein, Freddy, Jason… Jumbi the Dybbuk?

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  72. The Ritual (2017)

    Clumsy guy always ruins it for everyone.

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  73. Director's Cut (2016)

    I've now seen Teller's orgasm face. Yay?

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  74. The House on Sorority Row (1983)

    I don't know, she maybe deserved it.

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  75. Frankenstein (1931)

    Use the whip, that'll calm him down.

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  76. Two Evil Eyes (1990)

    E.G. talking assets gives me a Poe-ner

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  77. Vampire’s Kiss (1988, dir. Robert Bierman)

    “Ok Nic just.... do whatever you want.”

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  78. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

    No window is left intact after Jason.

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  79. Tales From The Darkside: The Movie (1990)

    Imagine same cast in all three stories!

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  80. The Night Flier (1997)

    Ferrer battles vampire and slow second act.

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  81. May (2002)

    Not a fan, but I like... parts.

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  82. Wish Master (1997)

    Criticizing this film might just be... Riske.

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  83. Carrie (1976)

    Significant that Buckley faces her wrath too

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  84. Hocus Pocus (1993)

    First family trip to Music Box Theater.

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  85. Byzantium (2012)

    Slow burn punctuated by violence. Strange mythology.

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  86. Red State (2011)
    Milton went to law enforcement after Initech.

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  87. Creep 2 (2017)
    Progressive psycho asks before showing his weiner.

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  88. The Howling (1981)
    That fireside sex scene had me lycanTHROBBING

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  89. 47 Meters Down (2017)
    Woman needs cheering up... let down instead.

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  90. Krampus (2015)
    Wow, Pan has really let himself go.

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  91. The Night Of A Thousand Cats (1972)
    Hugo Stiglitz: Dreamer,cat lover, hopeless romantic.

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  92. Rough Draft aka Diary of a Serial Killer (1998)

    Gary Busey in drag, boring as shit.

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  93. I Sell The Dead (2008)
    Victorian Tucker & Dale vs the x-files.

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  94. House of Wax (2005)

    You gots to wax it kook…nevermind.

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  95. The Fourth Kind (2009)

    No wonder they don’t ship to Alaska.

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  96. The Shining (1980)(for the first time)

    Curious if Wes Anderson is a fan?

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  97. Leatherface (2017):

    Lacking a story? Throw in more gore!

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  99. Mara (2018):

    Expectations: Nil.
    Potential? Yes.
    Time essentially wasted.

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  100. 10 TO MIDNIGHT (1983)
    Movie theatres make the best alibis

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  101. House on Haunted Hill (1959)

    Vincent Price is Halloween distilled and personified.

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