Dark Water (2002) Well, moisture is the essence of wetness.
Summer of 84 (2018)Those Stranger thngs kids grew up fast.
The New York Ripper (1982, Dir. Lucio Fulci)Proof that Lucio Fulci was on quack.
You're quacking me up
Thank duck for that
The Untamed (2017)Social commentary by way of tentacle porn
Mary Shelley's Frankenstien (1994)The real hero? Wigs and curling irons.
The Babysitter (2017)Home Alone franchise takes a dark turn
The Pit and the Pendulum (1961)Vincent Price has real fucked up inheritance
The Sleeping Room (2016) “Don’t fall in love.” Oops, too late.
Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988)Like the original, without the Freudian fun.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)Mother was highly flammable to begin with
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)Only thing missing is actual closet scene
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)How much Further to the Upside Down?
CABIN FEVER (2002)Just give the kid some damn pancakes!
Halloween II (1981)Dr. Myers: Insert scalpel, lift, remove shoes.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)What if Home Alone but also dreams
orParents or justice system: who's to blame?
Halloween (2007, Dir Rob Zombie)Please don't touch Michael's Slipknot mask collection!
Predator 2 (1990)This is why you respect Federal jurisdiction.
Extremity (2018)Push your limits starting with poo toilet.
Contracted (2013)This one made my man vagina hurt.
Night Train to Terror (1985)Everybody's got something to do but me
The Creature Walks Among Us (1956)Starting to think any blonde will do.
Psycho (1960) A Review Poem:Mother sees Red,Norman is Blue,Shower-Scene.Psycho (1998) A Review Poem:Roses are Red,Violets are Blue,shower-scene.
The Kiss (1988, dir. Pen Densham)Well, that got weird towards the end!
Las Vegas Bloodbath (1989)Makes "Boardinghouse" look like a Spielberg film.
Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man (1943)Difficult to meet monsters before the internet.
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1968)Jack Palance's Id goes down slippery slope.
Deadtime Stories (1986) Pretty sure I hallucinated this whole thing.
Suspiria (1977) (first time watching, first Argento, first time commenting on site):Who keeps steel wire like that? Witches!Also:Where has this been all my life?
Ghost Stories (2017)Appropriate response to a supernatural: "FUUUCK THAT!"
The BurningSomehow this movie is even sleazier now.
The Horror at 37,000 Feet (1973, dir. David Lowell Rich)Airplane. William Shatner. What could go wrong?
Hell Fest (2018)Eating a pretzel without mustard = death sentence.
Halloween: The Curse of Michael MyersWanted more Halloween town scenery than hospital.
Malevolent (2018)Can anyone please help the camera guy?
Maximum Overdrive(1986) Trucks. Driven to kill, fueled by.....cocaine?
Monkey Shines (1988):Think UPGRADE, but with an evil monkey.
The Gate (1987)Mark Jones: "Those demons are all right!!"
Murder Party (2007)Come for the murder, stay for Hellhammer.
Starry Eyes (2014)A Star is Born is super dark
Halloween H20 (1998)Laurie Strode goes a little Sarah Connor
Aenigma (1987)Not just lesser Fulci, lesser Argento.
Hatchet (2006)Adam Green's due for a massive hit.
SURVEILLANCE (2008)French Stewart is in this...French Stewart.
Creature Unknown (2004) Chase Masterson as biker scientist? Yes, please.
The Killing of a Sacred Deer (2017)Perhaps a game of duck duck goose?
Rings (2017) Please note: To watch video, landline required
The Brood (1979)Oliver Reed’s short robe game on point.
Pieces (1982)Yes, I'd love another cup of poison!
The Clown at Midnight (1999)Better than Scream 2 don't @ me
Psycho II (1983)Man, that stoner just won't let go!
Psycho III (1986)"Watch the guitar" line had me rolling!
Psycho IV: The Beginning (1990)CCH Pounder makes this my favorite Psyquel.
Army of Darkness (1993)More bones than a Fox crime drama
MandyMy chainsaw is bigger than your chainsaw.
Unhinged (1982)Somehow, not the worst of my month.
Deadly Blessing (1981) No Rumspringa for Hittites, only the switch!
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)"It gets funnier EVERYTIME I SEE IT!" -Beetlejuice
The Stepfather (1987)Can't help feeling internet would prevent this.
The Stuff (1985) Dir. Larry CohenAll good cum jokes are 8 words.
IT (2017)It should've been a sequel, not remake.
Bloodrage (1979)Unfortunately not the awesome killer twin one
Consommé (2016)Only five minutes. But hey, ear horror.
Deliver Us From Evil (2014) Now I know why Hulks so angry!
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Friday the 13th 3Enter into the third dimension of terror!
Dead & BuriedIt’s a wonderful life in Potters Bluff!
Dark Woods (1999) Mysterious town's secret is that it's boring.
The RitualThe MCU has sure gotten dark lately...
Happy Death Day (2017)Life's a bitch and then you die, again.
Carrie (1976)Brian De Palma: A Perv for All Seasons
You're Next Dark comedy horror that Blends so good
The Sixth Sense (1999)Hot Take: Toni Collette is a treasure
Tourist Trap (1979): MANNEQUIN series goes completely off the rails.
Tales from the Hood (1995)Too many Duke Metger types in office
Sleepaway Camp (1983)Wait, Dr. Mother ISN'T a drag queen?!?!
Joy Ride (2001)Paul in Leelee's friend zone? Calling shenanigans!
ORThe Sixth Sense (1999)Toni Collette: 20 Years of hot mommery
Crimson Peak (2015)Loki always was up to no good.
Drag Me To Hell (2009)Probably the GOAT of talking goat performances
Paranormal Activity (2009)...OMG, his electric guitar has NO PICKUPS!?!
The 50 Best Horror Movies You've Never Seen (2014)Wishmaster is 7! That ring's value doubled!
Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh (1995, dir. Bill Condon)Glad that kid didn't call him "Honeyman".
You're Next (2013)Still a more functional family than mine.
Misery (1990)Turns out Sollozzo hated that Misery died.
Damn that's funny
Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman (2000)Michael Keaton's back to kill his son.
Deep Red (1975)Italians, please turn down your water heaters.
The Burning (1981) with commentarySavini's handy c'raft makes g'oar shear fun
Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn (1987)Laughing deer was a prototype Billy Bass.
Chopping Mall (1986)They're on treads, stay on the stairs!
Behind the Mask: the Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006)Mask or paint, you don't need both.
Alice Sweet Alice (1976)Master's class in the art of eavesdropping
The Midnight Meat Train (2008)The train never left before 2 am.
The Invisible Man (1933)By comparison, Kevin Bacon is still irredeemable.
Split Second (1992)Hauer we to know it's imitation Predator?
Halloween II (1981) No shit Loomis its a six shooter.