The Fly II (1989)The II is appropriate because it's crappy.
hahaha! and to think I almost bought this on DVD at Half Price Books yesterday. Guess I made the right call by skipping it.
Return of the Fly (1959, dir. Edward Bernds)The Return is appropriate because it returns.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1920)Inventing alt to be horny on main
House on Haunted Hill (1999, dir. William Malone)Horror classic's 90's remake, and it's... good?
Yeah it's good!
Final Destination 5 (2011)How to cheat death: get a screwdriver
Don't Knock Twice: So what happens when you knock thrice?
Vikaren (The Substitute) (2007) danishWish I was/had a teacher like Ulla.or Needs a bit more dead mum jokes.
What We Do In The Shadows: I love Peter, rest in pieces buddy.
Habit (1995)Fessenden's friends even worse than the vampire
Spider Baby (1967)Peter Parker sure had some weird cousins.
Bliss (2019)The worst trip I've ever been on
The Stepfather (1987)Defying all odds, the dog does not die.
Demons (1985)And that's why you shouldn't cut class.
Hotel Transylvania (2012)I wish I could book via AirBnB.
Maniac Cop (1988)Fuck tha police (except for Bruce Campbell).
Island of Lost Souls (1932)Panther Woman deserves way more screen time.
Lake Placid (1999)Betty White has potty mouth, unusual pets.
The Dead Don't Die (2019)Bill Murray zombie movies are the best.
The Innocents (1961)Who is creepiest: Kids, ghosts, or Kerr?
Return to Horror High (1987)Come for Clooney, stay for Marcia Brady.
Event Horizon (1997)Sentient spacecraft reads too much Hellbound Heart
Demons 2 (1986)Somebody get Sally 20mg of Prozac, stat.
Upgrade (2018)No snark review? Really dug this movie.
Upgrade (2018) or Childs Play(2019) or Electric Dreams (1984)Try turning him off and back on.
Creepshow (1982)I love that voodoo that you do.
Tenebrae (1982)Thwarted by the worlds worst coat rack.
The Shining (1980)Caretaker would rather die than cut hedges.
The Exorcist (1973)”What an excellent day for an exorcism.”
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)They shouldn't let Swanson near the basketballs.
All the Colors of the Dark (1972, dir. Sergio Martino)Sergio’s slovern psycho sexual satanic socialites seduce.
Wax Mask (1996, Sergio Stivaletti)Really makes me WAX sentimental over Fulci.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984, dir. Wes Craven)California dreaming...but in Ohio? Sure, whatever!
They Live (1988, Dir. John Carpenter)Movie tanked, but Ray Bans stock rose.
Christine (1983, dir. John Carpenter)Back when every bully had a switchblade.
Frankenweenie (2012, dir. Tim Burton)Young goth grows up to be Johnny Depp.
Waxwork (1988)Wax and a white girl named China!
Scream 3 (2000, Dir. Wes Craven)Lance Henricksen's Harvey Weinstein cosplay is intense.
TOURIST TRAPWhat if CARRIE became a male slasher....
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985, dir. Jack Sholder)Once again, Streep manages to outdo herself!
Tales From The Darkside (1990, John Harrison)Yep, this is all normal cat behaviour
Bloody Birthday (1981)Only 35 cents? Great ROI at ten.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987, dir. Chuck Russell)Starring Craig Wasson!...you need more incentive?
TERROR CIRCUS (1974) Can’t afford circus? Just use the barn!
Night of the Living Dead (1968) Dir. George RomeroYou had one job, Tom. ONE JOB!
Pet Sematary (1989)Mary Lambert directed the shit outta this.
Tales From the Crypt (1972, Freddie Francis)The annual asshole darwin awards now openBy the way loved this movie. Joan Collins with an unlit cigarette opening a present from her just murdered husband is one of the badass things I have seen. Couldn't fit that into a 7 Word review :)
Abducted in Plain Sight (2017)Because real life can be absolutely terrifying
Fright Night (1985)Sarandon scorches, kids squirm. Great death scenes!
CIRCUS OF FEAR (1966) When I think Christopher Lee, I think CIRCUS.
The Intruder (2019)See Dennis Quaid channel his inner Randy
Shaun of the Dead (2004, dir. Edgar Wright)I guess the real zombie...is society.
Land of the Dead (2005, dir. George A. Romero)Gas station attendants will one day rule.
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)They killed off Tony Goldwyn too early.
His first movie role according to IMDB....didnt know what they had
Cemetary Man (1993)I dont wanna kink shame but... woah!
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988, dir. Renny Harlin)Krueger. Freddy Krueger...Cracking wise and disturbed
The Ritual (2017)Anti-Norse-God propaganda from IKEA lumberjacks.
GRIZZLY (1976) Bear learned heavy breathing from Michael Myers.
Fright Night (1985)Hope my hair greys like Peter Vincent's.
The Fly (1986) Dir. David Cronenberg Like flies, Seth is a moody bitch.
The Mad Ghoul (Hogan, 1943)Breaking up's easier if he's a zombie
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)How does no one smell Jason coming?
Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)Pizza box clown is my favorite part.
Cherry Falls (Wright, 2000)Have sex so you don't die, teens.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989, dir. Stephen mf'n Hopkins)The more hate, the more I appreciate
Demon Witch Child (de Ossorio, 1975)More OH creepiness than ACK creepy scares
Body Snatchers (Abel Ferrara, 1993)Perhaps the happiest ending for these movies?
The Midnight Hour (1985)Ending never fails to make me cry.
Dracula (1931)Lugosi and Browning were the OG fangstas.
Dawn of the Dead (1978)Why can't modern malls have fancy cheese?
Sugar Hill (1974)Supernatural Voodoo Woman is my new jam.
FROGS (1972) No frogs until finale, and they’re adorable.
Slumber Party Massacre II (1987, dir. Deborah Brock)Andrew Dice Clay IS The Driller Killer.
Silent Rage (1982)Invincible psychotic murderer mildly inconveniences Chuck Norris.
Evil Dead (2013)Deadite is a deadeye to my delight.
Blade (1998)People on the street just ignore Blade?
Dracula (1931)Eye spotlights are the vampire's best weapon.
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991, dir. Rachel Talalay)Yaphet Kotto is the real Dream Master!
The Creature Walks Among Us (1956)The Creature Does Jack Shit Among Us
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)Wait, Joe Dante hosts the special features?!
Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994, dir. Wes Craven)Really miss the old New Line Cinema
Sugar Hill (1974)I just saw a chicken foot attack.
Sadako vs. Kayako (2016, dir. Koji Shirashi)70% Ring. 20% Grudge. 10% Vs. Cool.
Fright Night (1985) Lord, Peter Vincent lookin dusty as hell
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)This movie is definitely a good friend
The House with a Clock in its Walls (2018)Find book and key? Not cool, "mom".
The Fly II (1989)
ReplyDeleteThe II is appropriate because it's crappy.
hahaha! and to think I almost bought this on DVD at Half Price Books yesterday. Guess I made the right call by skipping it.
DeleteReturn of the Fly (1959, dir. Edward Bernds)
DeleteThe Return is appropriate because it returns.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1920)
ReplyDeleteInventing alt to be horny on main
House on Haunted Hill (1999, dir. William Malone)
ReplyDeleteHorror classic's 90's remake, and it's... good?
Yeah it's good!
DeleteFinal Destination 5 (2011)
ReplyDeleteHow to cheat death: get a screwdriver
Don't Knock Twice: So what happens when you knock thrice?
ReplyDeleteVikaren (The Substitute) (2007) danish
ReplyDeleteWish I was/had a teacher like Ulla.
or
Needs a bit more dead mum jokes.
What We Do In The Shadows:
ReplyDeleteI love Peter, rest in pieces buddy.
Habit (1995)
ReplyDeleteFessenden's friends even worse than the vampire
Spider Baby (1967)
ReplyDeletePeter Parker sure had some weird cousins.
Bliss (2019)
ReplyDeleteThe worst trip I've ever been on
The Stepfather (1987)
ReplyDeleteDefying all odds, the dog does not die.
Demons (1985)
ReplyDeleteAnd that's why you shouldn't cut class.
Hotel Transylvania (2012)
ReplyDeleteI wish I could book via AirBnB.
Maniac Cop (1988)
ReplyDeleteFuck tha police (except for Bruce Campbell).
Island of Lost Souls (1932)
ReplyDeletePanther Woman deserves way more screen time.
Lake Placid (1999)
ReplyDeleteBetty White has potty mouth, unusual pets.
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
ReplyDeleteBill Murray zombie movies are the best.
The Innocents (1961)
ReplyDeleteWho is creepiest: Kids, ghosts, or Kerr?
Return to Horror High (1987)
ReplyDeleteCome for Clooney, stay for Marcia Brady.
Event Horizon (1997)
ReplyDeleteSentient spacecraft reads too much Hellbound Heart
Demons 2 (1986)
ReplyDeleteSomebody get Sally 20mg of Prozac, stat.
Upgrade (2018)
ReplyDeleteNo snark review? Really dug this movie.
Upgrade (2018) or Childs Play(2019) or Electric Dreams (1984)
ReplyDeleteTry turning him off and back on.
Creepshow (1982)
ReplyDeleteI love that voodoo that you do.
Tenebrae (1982)
ReplyDeleteThwarted by the worlds worst coat rack.
The Shining (1980)
ReplyDeleteCaretaker would rather die than cut hedges.
The Exorcist (1973)
ReplyDelete”What an excellent day for an exorcism.”
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)
ReplyDeleteThey shouldn't let Swanson near the basketballs.
All the Colors of the Dark (1972, dir. Sergio Martino)
ReplyDeleteSergio’s slovern psycho sexual satanic socialites seduce.
Wax Mask (1996, Sergio Stivaletti)
ReplyDeleteReally makes me WAX sentimental over Fulci.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984, dir. Wes Craven)
ReplyDeleteCalifornia dreaming...but in Ohio? Sure, whatever!
They Live (1988, Dir. John Carpenter)
ReplyDeleteMovie tanked, but Ray Bans stock rose.
Christine (1983, dir. John Carpenter)
ReplyDeleteBack when every bully had a switchblade.
Frankenweenie (2012, dir. Tim Burton)
ReplyDeleteYoung goth grows up to be Johnny Depp.
Waxwork (1988)
ReplyDeleteWax and a white girl named China!
Scream 3 (2000, Dir. Wes Craven)
ReplyDeleteLance Henricksen's Harvey Weinstein cosplay is intense.
TOURIST TRAP
ReplyDeleteWhat if CARRIE became a male slasher....
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985, dir. Jack Sholder)
ReplyDeleteOnce again, Streep manages to outdo herself!
Tales From The Darkside (1990, John Harrison)
ReplyDeleteYep, this is all normal cat behaviour
Bloody Birthday (1981)
ReplyDeleteOnly 35 cents? Great ROI at ten.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987, dir. Chuck Russell)
ReplyDeleteStarring Craig Wasson!...you need more incentive?
TERROR CIRCUS (1974)
ReplyDeleteCan’t afford circus? Just use the barn!
Night of the Living Dead (1968) Dir. George Romero
ReplyDeleteYou had one job, Tom. ONE JOB!
Pet Sematary (1989)
ReplyDeleteMary Lambert directed the shit outta this.
Tales From the Crypt (1972, Freddie Francis)
ReplyDeleteThe annual asshole darwin awards now open
By the way loved this movie. Joan Collins with an unlit cigarette opening a present from her just murdered husband is one of the badass things I have seen. Couldn't fit that into a 7 Word review :)
Abducted in Plain Sight (2017)
ReplyDeleteBecause real life can be absolutely terrifying
Fright Night (1985)
ReplyDeleteSarandon scorches, kids squirm. Great death scenes!
CIRCUS OF FEAR (1966)
ReplyDeleteWhen I think Christopher Lee, I think CIRCUS.
The Intruder (2019)
ReplyDeleteSee Dennis Quaid channel his inner Randy
Shaun of the Dead (2004, dir. Edgar Wright)
ReplyDeleteI guess the real zombie...is society.
Land of the Dead (2005, dir. George A. Romero)
ReplyDeleteGas station attendants will one day rule.
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)
ReplyDeleteThey killed off Tony Goldwyn too early.
His first movie role according to IMDB....didnt know what they had
DeleteCemetary Man (1993)
ReplyDeleteI dont wanna kink shame but... woah!
A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988, dir. Renny Harlin)
ReplyDeleteKrueger. Freddy Krueger...Cracking wise and disturbed
The Ritual (2017)
ReplyDeleteAnti-Norse-God propaganda from IKEA lumberjacks.
GRIZZLY (1976)
ReplyDeleteBear learned heavy breathing from Michael Myers.
Fright Night (1985)
ReplyDeleteHope my hair greys like Peter Vincent's.
The Fly (1986) Dir. David Cronenberg
ReplyDeleteLike flies, Seth is a moody bitch.
The Mad Ghoul (Hogan, 1943)
ReplyDeleteBreaking up's easier if he's a zombie
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)
ReplyDeleteHow does no one smell Jason coming?
Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)
ReplyDeletePizza box clown is my favorite part.
Cherry Falls (Wright, 2000)
ReplyDeleteHave sex so you don't die, teens.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989, dir. Stephen mf'n Hopkins)
ReplyDeleteThe more hate, the more I appreciate
Demon Witch Child (de Ossorio, 1975)
ReplyDeleteMore OH creepiness than ACK creepy scares
Body Snatchers (Abel Ferrara, 1993)
ReplyDeletePerhaps the happiest ending for these movies?
The Midnight Hour (1985)
ReplyDeleteEnding never fails to make me cry.
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteLugosi and Browning were the OG fangstas.
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
ReplyDeleteWhy can't modern malls have fancy cheese?
Sugar Hill (1974)
ReplyDeleteSupernatural Voodoo Woman is my new jam.
FROGS (1972)
ReplyDeleteNo frogs until finale, and they’re adorable.
Slumber Party Massacre II (1987, dir. Deborah Brock)
ReplyDeleteAndrew Dice Clay IS The Driller Killer.
Silent Rage (1982)
ReplyDeleteInvincible psychotic murderer mildly inconveniences Chuck Norris.
Evil Dead (2013)
ReplyDeleteDeadite is a deadeye to my delight.
Blade (1998)
ReplyDeletePeople on the street just ignore Blade?
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteEye spotlights are the vampire's best weapon.
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991, dir. Rachel Talalay)
ReplyDeleteYaphet Kotto is the real Dream Master!
The Creature Walks Among Us (1956)
ReplyDeleteThe Creature Does Jack Shit Among Us
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
ReplyDeleteWait, Joe Dante hosts the special features?!
Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994, dir. Wes Craven)
ReplyDeleteReally miss the old New Line Cinema
Sugar Hill (1974)
ReplyDeleteI just saw a chicken foot attack.
Sadako vs. Kayako (2016, dir. Koji Shirashi)
ReplyDelete70% Ring. 20% Grudge. 10% Vs. Cool.
Fright Night (1985)
ReplyDeleteLord, Peter Vincent lookin dusty as hell
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
ReplyDeleteThis movie is definitely a good friend
The House with a Clock in its Walls (2018)
ReplyDeleteFind book and key? Not cool, "mom".