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Lake Mungo (2008)
ReplyDeleteNo beer consumed. NOT an Australian film.
Berserk! (1967, Jim O'Connolly)
ReplyDeleteIt's better if Joan Crawford's in charge
Gremlins 2 (1990)
ReplyDeleteThat female gremlin looks like Willem Dafoe.
Silent Hill (2006)
ReplyDelete"Morning Silent Hill! Forecast is...fuckin' ashy"!
Fear (1990)
ReplyDeletepost Breakfast Club showdown: better than Relentless.
The Dark (2005)
ReplyDeleteDon't Bello, movie's not worth hill'o Beans.
I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)
ReplyDeleteJ-Love's Olympics. Ahem..."WHAT'RE YOU SKATING FOR"!
The Changeling (1980)
ReplyDeleteMy kid needs changelings all the time.
BLACK MAGIC 2 (1976)
ReplyDeleteBlack magic, zombies, Singapore, and some exploitation.
OR
I could watch Lo Lieh in anything
Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994)
ReplyDeleteMake him scarier? Two words...gangster hat
Teeth (2007, dir. Mitchell Lichtenstein)
ReplyDeleteNeed a circumcision? Leave it to beaver.
That is really good
DeleteOK, this wins.
DeleteTRANCE (2010)
ReplyDeleteDominique Swain. Jeremy London. Together at last!
CRUISING (1980)
ReplyDeleteGayest killer until ELM STREET 2 dethroned!
Midsommer (2019)
ReplyDelete"Sometimes you burn the bear, and sometimes..."
Society (1989)
ReplyDeleteWealthy elite and lower classes butt heads.
IT (2017)
ReplyDeleteOne orgy I'm glad to have missed.
F (aka The Expelled)
ReplyDeleteWas there supposed to be an ending?
Demon Seed (1977, dir. Donald Cammell)
ReplyDeleteThat 70's high tech is utterly charming.
Hour of the Wolf (1968)
ReplyDeleteBad luck to kill a sea boy.
Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
ReplyDeleteMore like... Injason of the body snatchers!
Tooth and Nail (2007, dir. Mark Young)
ReplyDeleteCannibals want Rider Strong's bod. Mr. Hunter!
Misery (1990) dir. Rob Reiner
ReplyDeleteSheriff Buster is definitely packing a hog
The Forest of the Lost Souls (2017)
ReplyDeleteFree murder upgrade with purchase of suicide.
Shaun Of The Dead (2004) dir. Edgar Wright
ReplyDeleteHenry the Eighth is finally referenced positively.
The Changeling (1980)
ReplyDeleteNever follow ghosts to a second location.
Haunt (2019)
ReplyDeleteShe learned a lot in one night.
Thirst (2009)
ReplyDeleteNot the WORST priest I've ever encountered...
The Burning (1981)
ReplyDeleteHolly Hunter sure rocks those nonspeaking roles.
Into the Dark: Flesh & Blood (2018)
ReplyDeleteAgoraphobic's scary movie version of Home Alone.
The Lost Boys (1987)
ReplyDeleteIf your friends jumped off a bridge...
The Hitcher (1986)
ReplyDeleteMore Jennifer Jason Leigh to go around.
Evil Dead II (1987)
ReplyDeleteQuaint secluded cabin, engaging forest, portal adjacent.
The Blob (1958)
ReplyDeleteGlobal warming results in The Blob 2
Wes Craven's New Nightmare (1994)
ReplyDeleteSo in reality, Freddy's arms get cold.
Cabin in the Woods (2011)
ReplyDeleteThe worst internship of all time.
Corpse Party: Tortured Souls (2013)
ReplyDeleteHorror anime does carnage like no others.
Evil Dead II (1987)
ReplyDeleteI hope that wasn't his wiping hand.
The Lighthouse (2019) dir. Robert Eggers
ReplyDeleteA Bobby Eggs production -- some subtitling required
Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990)
ReplyDeleteWomen *still* think Matthew Lawrence is Delicious
Carnival of Souls (1962)
ReplyDelete‘Best Supporting Carnival Mat’ award goes to...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMARLA MAE (2019):
ReplyDeleteThe bad guys explode dick-first. Five stars.
Us (2019)
ReplyDelete*checks twitter*...Underground mute living sounds great
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBEWARE THE EYE OF AMUN-RA (2018)
ReplyDeleteThought this was horror. Clicked play. Oops.
The Battery(2012)
ReplyDeleteWelp, now you're trapped AND hung over
The Visit (2019) dir. M. Night Shyamalan
ReplyDeletePut Kathryn Hahn in all the movies.
Creep 2 (2017) Dir. Patrick Brice
ReplyDeleteMissed opportunity to call it "2 Creeps"
Madhouse(1974)
ReplyDeleteThey say schedule like shhedule. That's class.
Tales From the Dark Side (1990)
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately my exs just leave me, alive
Goodnight Mommy (2014)
ReplyDeleteGreat, another reason to not have kids
Madhouse(1974)
ReplyDeletePrice and Cushing always worth a look.
Madhouse(1974)
ReplyDeleteTypical Hollywood. Kill director. Bemoan hiring replacement.
SATAN’S BLADE (1984)
ReplyDeleteEven in horror, going fishing is boring.
Horror of Dracula (1958)
ReplyDeleteThe Dracula's coming from inside the house!
Green Room(2015) Tours finished already? That just Ain't Rights!
ReplyDeleteBody Bags (1993)
ReplyDelete"The Gas Station" - Revenge of the Nerds but less rapey
Body Bags (1993)
ReplyDeleteI hope John Carpenter does my autopsy.
The Dead Don't Die (2019)
ReplyDeleteHelped me identify with Dad. So disappointed.
The Innkeepers (2011)
ReplyDeleteStaying at this inn is no holiday.
New Nightmare (Wes Craven, 1994)
ReplyDelete"Wes" on hook for all these murders?
Cat People (1982)
ReplyDeleteNastassja Kinski has John Heard pussy whipped.
YYYYYAAAAASSSSS!
DeletePossession (1981)
ReplyDeleteDo Sam Neill movies ever end well?
FACELESS (1987)
ReplyDeleteHas horror harmed the plastic surgery industry?
Scream (1996)
ReplyDeleteSuccessful killer gets ass beat in process.
Friday the 13th (2009)
ReplyDeleteWhat is with Jason and smashing windows?
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)
ReplyDeletePale Woman was a real wakeup call
NIGHT CLUB MASSACRE (2017)
ReplyDeleteNo, I didn’t watch this. You’re hallucinating.
"The Skeleton Key" (2005, Dir. Ian Softley)
ReplyDeleteWhat's swampier? The bayou or the accents?
or
When you're dealing with voodoo, tread Softley.
Society (1990, Brian Yuzna)
ReplyDeleteI dont see what the big HOLYFUCK!
The Shining (1980)
ReplyDeleteDeranged dad does destructive damage to Danny.
Cast a Deadly Spell(1991)
ReplyDeleteGargoyles dont have nards!... gargoyles got nards
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)
ReplyDeleteMeta, fun, with PG-13 kills from Jason.
Near Dark (1987)
ReplyDeleteJesse, Severen, Diamondback, and Homer: YA BURNT.
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