"From Beyond" (1986, Dir. Stuart Gordon)Documentary footage of Jeffery Combs' actual birth.
THE HORRIBLE DR. HICHCOCK (1962, dir. Riccardo Freda)Best aspects are Barbara Steele and cinematography.OrCould the conclusion have influenced Suspiria's end?
Night of the Creeps (1986)The flamethrower really lights up the outfit.
DETENTION (2011, dir. Joseph Kahn) Mmmbop, Ba duba dop ba du bop.
The Mangler (1995)Wrinkled plot loses steam. Oh the IRONy.
Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990, dir. Jeff Burr)Viggo folds you in half before eating.
VIY (1967) Forget Tolstoy. THIS is a Russian epic!
Brain Damage (1988)Unlimited junkyard raves with brain parasite purchaseor Crooning psychedelic vampire penis has impressive backstory
VICTOR CROWLEY (2017):More slashers should kill with belt sanders.
The Strangers Prey at Night (2018) - Rivals Old School's usage of Bonnie Tyler.
Gremlins (1984)Full of little creatures and cool cameos.
THE NEON DEMON (2016) This is David Lynch's remake of SUSPIRIA! OR Models are witches who naturally never eat.
Idle Hands (1999)So flimsy, Jessica Alba is practically transparent
The Mummy (1959, Terence Fisher)Lee majestic in oddly wrapped Mummy cloth.
Platypossum (2017)Creator has seen neither platypus nor possum.
The Boogens (1981)Mineshaft meanies make mincemeat of mangy mutt.
Curtains (1983)Wait, who rented Ice Castles by mistake?
Scream 4 (2011)Where should we host Stab-a-thon? A BARN!
My Friend Dahmer (2017, Marc Meyers)Seems like a cool hang, until dinner.
Lights Out (2016): I feel you Diana, I'll steal you...
Ouija: Origin of Evil: New to me, I loved this movie
It's freaken great
Deadtime Stories (1986)This uncle is the Worst. Babysitter. Ever.
Gawd, haven't thought about that movie since, well, 1987!
Thinner (1996)Fat Tony and Homer vs. sideshow mob
*Ron Howard's voice"His best friend is a cursed pie!"
Slender Man (2018, dir. Sylvian White)Feels like David Fincher directed Wish Upon.
This comment has been removed by the author.
All the Colors of the Dark (1972) Losing sense of reality? Take your vitamins
Devil's Revenge (2019, dir. Jared Cohn)Kirk and 7 of 9 vs. demons.
Halloween 2018The Tom Brady of aging serial killers
Blood for Dracula 1974movie lacks virgins, Udo is Comedy Gold
We Are What We Are (Somos lo que hay) (2010, dir. Jorge Michel Grau)Great, slowburn family drama, with added viscera!
Splinter (2008)Bonding with kidnapper less believable than monster.
Midsommar Director's Cut (2019)Loved this movie enough to install iTunes.
Rosemary's Baby (1968)He's got his father's balls...er...eyes.
May The Devil Take You (2018) Trichophilia takes on new meaning for me.
Sweet Sixteen (1983, dir. Jim Sotos)Fight the power, Melissa. Don't do it.
Psycho (1960)Sometimes Norman can be a real drag.
Tourist Trap (1979)Move to the city. Perform manzilian’s. BOOM!
Cemetery Man (1994)When all else fails snow globes prevail.
Prowl (2010, dir. Patrik Syversen)New friend wanted; must eat steak rare.
Awakening the Zodiac (2017)Car chases, sniper riffles, yep that's Zodiac
Doom (2005)Hell on Mars? Lack of Satan disappointing
The Omen (1976)30 percent cool kills. 70 percent exposition.
*A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)...forgot the climax same as Home Alone’s...
The Mothman Prophecies (2002)Cinema equivalent to shoving gerbil up ass.
Spookies (1986, dir. Eugenie Joseph and everyone)Having fun while also making no sense.
Farting monsters...so good. Really fun flick.
I Walked with a Zombie (1943, dir Jacques Tourneur)More like: I dragged a Zombie Around
The Seventh Victim (1943)The most passive-aggressive cult in film history?(I'm counting passive-aggressive as a single, compound word, but feel free to remove the article in your head if you aren't on board with that!)
The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)Asking myself "Why are you doing this?"
The Last House on the Left (1972)Tough watch, but now I want cake
Child’s Play (1988)Isn't capitalism the real bad guy here?
Damien: Omen II (1978)I didnt enjoy "Young Sheldon: The Movie".
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)Cross dressing Leatherface looks alright, alright, alright.
Monkey Shines (1988)Murder, mayhem, monkeys, medical malarkey. Mildly melancholy.
Candyman (1992)That stump must get infected every day
Texas Chainsaw massacre 74Definetly not directed by Stephen Speilberg, ever!
Candyman (1992)Trevor takes Stacey over Helen? He's mental.
Hell House LLC: Lake of FireMore like Puddle of Bad CGI amirite?
PAPERHOUSE (1988) Remake: cast Rob Liefeld as little girl.
Deepstar Six (1989)Damn it, I meant to watch Leviathan.
The Wind (2018)Prairie Demons also responsible for non-linear storytelling?
Shriek if you Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th (2001)Tom Arnold AND Coolio! I..AM..IN!
Cannibal Hookers (1987) Dir. Donald Farmer Tastes like chicken with hints of gonorrhea.The Banana Splits Movie (2019) Dir. Danishka EsterhazyMy favorite segment was always "Danger Island".
Rec (2007)That's why you don't talk to neighbors.
Friday the 13th (2009)Jason kills sexy teenagers but who cares?
High Tension (2003) Dangers of placing head in staircase evident.
The Gate (1987)Sacrifyx mix gave me 3/4s Eldritch Horrors
Pet Sematary (2019)Sometimes not remaking a movie is better
The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018) Dir. Johannes RobertsFilmed live at the Republican National Convention.
Amityville II: The Possession (1982)Child abuse, incest, domestic violence and more!
Waxwork (1988)The ending makes me think of Trump.
Mr. Boogedy (1986)Phantom Puritan plagues, pesters, and petrifies phamily.
Bride of Boogedy (1987)Memories of this haunted me for years.
The Changeling (1980)Looks like it's filmed on haunted Kodak.
Candy Corn (2019) Directed by Josh Hasty Directed by R.Zombie
Cat People (1942; dir: Jacques Tourneur)When will psychiatrists believe our cat stories??
Halloween (2018)I got peanut butter on my penis.
BLOODY PIT OF HORROR (1965) Haunted castle photoshoot? What could go wrong?
Willow Creek (2013)Found FOOT-age gimmick used to BIG effect!
Candyman (1992)Learned Tupac's Troublesome '96 lyrics are incorrect
Sleepy Hollow (1999)Love for Landau’s powdered wig runs DEEP.or Man, do I miss top-tier Tim!
Hereditary (dir Ari Aster, 2018)There's mom crawling on the ceiling again.
Friday the 13th (1980)Where it all started. This series, anyways.
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)Well, the kids got their money's worth.
Children of the Corn (1984) Corny corn close ups, jump scares, kids
Blood FestPeter Parker needs a new best friend.
Poltergeist (1982)Neighbor Ben sucks, even poltergeists avoid him.
Hocus Pocus (1993)Because my best friend doesn't like horror.
Death Proof (2007)Did you hear me Butterfly? Billboard whoooooooo!!!!
Dracula (1931)Zero to vampire in under seven minutes
One Cut of the Dead (2019)Love love love love love this movie!*Didn't want to make a joke that might spoil this - seriously go in as blind as you can - even knowing as much as I did I was still delightfully surprised.
"From Beyond" (1986, Dir. Stuart Gordon)
ReplyDeleteDocumentary footage of Jeffery Combs' actual birth.
THE HORRIBLE DR. HICHCOCK (1962, dir. Riccardo Freda)
ReplyDeleteBest aspects are Barbara Steele and cinematography.
Or
Could the conclusion have influenced Suspiria's end?
Night of the Creeps (1986)
ReplyDeleteThe flamethrower really lights up the outfit.
DETENTION (2011, dir. Joseph Kahn)
ReplyDeleteMmmbop,
Ba duba dop ba du bop.
The Mangler (1995)
ReplyDeleteWrinkled plot loses steam. Oh the IRONy.
Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990, dir. Jeff Burr)
ReplyDeleteViggo folds you in half before eating.
VIY (1967)
ReplyDeleteForget Tolstoy. THIS is a Russian epic!
Brain Damage (1988)
ReplyDeleteUnlimited junkyard raves with brain parasite purchase
or
Crooning psychedelic vampire penis has impressive backstory
VICTOR CROWLEY (2017):
ReplyDeleteMore slashers should kill with belt sanders.
The Strangers Prey at Night (2018) - Rivals Old School's usage of Bonnie Tyler.
ReplyDeleteGremlins (1984)
ReplyDeleteFull of little creatures and cool cameos.
THE NEON DEMON (2016)
ReplyDeleteThis is David Lynch's remake of SUSPIRIA!
OR
Models are witches who naturally never eat.
Idle Hands (1999)
ReplyDeleteSo flimsy, Jessica Alba is practically transparent
The Mummy (1959, Terence Fisher)
ReplyDeleteLee majestic in oddly wrapped Mummy cloth.
Platypossum (2017)
ReplyDeleteCreator has seen neither platypus nor possum.
The Boogens (1981)
ReplyDeleteMineshaft meanies make mincemeat of mangy mutt.
Curtains (1983)
ReplyDeleteWait, who rented Ice Castles by mistake?
Scream 4 (2011)
ReplyDeleteWhere should we host Stab-a-thon? A BARN!
My Friend Dahmer (2017, Marc Meyers)
ReplyDeleteSeems like a cool hang, until dinner.
Lights Out (2016):
ReplyDeleteI feel you Diana, I'll steal you...
Ouija: Origin of Evil:
ReplyDeleteNew to me, I loved this movie
It's freaken great
DeleteDeadtime Stories (1986)
ReplyDeleteThis uncle is the Worst. Babysitter. Ever.
Gawd, haven't thought about that movie since, well, 1987!
DeleteThinner (1996)
ReplyDeleteFat Tony and Homer vs. sideshow mob
*Ron Howard's voice
Delete"His best friend is a cursed pie!"
Slender Man (2018, dir. Sylvian White)
ReplyDeleteFeels like David Fincher directed Wish Upon.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAll the Colors of the Dark (1972)
ReplyDeleteLosing sense of reality? Take your vitamins
Devil's Revenge (2019, dir. Jared Cohn)
ReplyDeleteKirk and 7 of 9 vs. demons.
Halloween 2018
ReplyDeleteThe Tom Brady of aging serial killers
Blood for Dracula 1974
ReplyDeletemovie lacks virgins, Udo is Comedy Gold
We Are What We Are (Somos lo que hay) (2010, dir. Jorge Michel Grau)
ReplyDeleteGreat, slowburn family drama, with added viscera!
Splinter (2008)
ReplyDeleteBonding with kidnapper less believable than monster.
Midsommar Director's Cut (2019)
ReplyDeleteLoved this movie enough to install iTunes.
Rosemary's Baby (1968)
ReplyDeleteHe's got his father's balls...er...eyes.
May The Devil Take You (2018)
ReplyDeleteTrichophilia takes on new meaning for me.
Sweet Sixteen (1983, dir. Jim Sotos)
ReplyDeleteFight the power, Melissa. Don't do it.
Psycho (1960)
ReplyDeleteSometimes Norman can be a real drag.
Tourist Trap (1979)
ReplyDeleteMove to the city. Perform manzilian’s. BOOM!
Cemetery Man (1994)
ReplyDeleteWhen all else fails snow globes prevail.
Prowl (2010, dir. Patrik Syversen)
ReplyDeleteNew friend wanted; must eat steak rare.
Awakening the Zodiac (2017)
ReplyDeleteCar chases, sniper riffles, yep that's Zodiac
Doom (2005)
ReplyDeleteHell on Mars? Lack of Satan disappointing
The Omen (1976)
ReplyDelete30 percent cool kills. 70 percent exposition.
*A Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)
ReplyDelete...forgot the climax same as Home Alone’s...
The Mothman Prophecies (2002)
ReplyDeleteCinema equivalent to shoving gerbil up ass.
Spookies (1986, dir. Eugenie Joseph and everyone)
ReplyDeleteHaving fun while also making no sense.
Farting monsters...so good. Really fun flick.
DeleteI Walked with a Zombie (1943, dir Jacques Tourneur)
ReplyDeleteMore like: I dragged a Zombie Around
The Seventh Victim (1943)
ReplyDeleteThe most passive-aggressive cult in film history?
(I'm counting passive-aggressive as a single, compound word, but feel free to remove the article in your head if you aren't on board with that!)
The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018)
ReplyDeleteAsking myself "Why are you doing this?"
The Last House on the Left (1972)
ReplyDeleteTough watch, but now I want cake
Child’s Play (1988)
ReplyDeleteIsn't capitalism the real bad guy here?
Damien: Omen II (1978)
ReplyDeleteI didnt enjoy "Young Sheldon: The Movie".
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)
ReplyDeleteCross dressing Leatherface looks alright, alright, alright.
Monkey Shines (1988)
ReplyDeleteMurder, mayhem, monkeys, medical malarkey. Mildly melancholy.
Candyman (1992)
ReplyDeleteThat stump must get infected every day
Texas Chainsaw massacre 74
ReplyDeleteDefinetly not directed by Stephen Speilberg, ever!
Candyman (1992)
ReplyDeleteTrevor takes Stacey over Helen? He's mental.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHell House LLC: Lake of Fire
ReplyDeleteMore like Puddle of Bad CGI amirite?
PAPERHOUSE (1988)
ReplyDeleteRemake: cast Rob Liefeld as little girl.
Deepstar Six (1989)
ReplyDeleteDamn it, I meant to watch Leviathan.
The Wind (2018)
ReplyDeletePrairie Demons also responsible for non-linear storytelling?
Shriek if you Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th (2001)
ReplyDeleteTom Arnold AND Coolio! I..AM..IN!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCannibal Hookers (1987) Dir. Donald Farmer
ReplyDeleteTastes like chicken with hints of gonorrhea.
The Banana Splits Movie (2019) Dir. Danishka Esterhazy
My favorite segment was always "Danger Island".
Rec (2007)
ReplyDeleteThat's why you don't talk to neighbors.
Friday the 13th (2009)
ReplyDeleteJason kills sexy teenagers but who cares?
High Tension (2003) Dangers of placing head in staircase evident.
ReplyDeleteThe Gate (1987)
ReplyDeleteSacrifyx mix gave me 3/4s Eldritch Horrors
Pet Sematary (2019)
ReplyDeleteSometimes not remaking a movie is better
The Strangers: Prey at Night (2018) Dir. Johannes Roberts
ReplyDeleteFilmed live at the Republican National Convention.
Amityville II: The Possession (1982)
ReplyDeleteChild abuse, incest, domestic violence and more!
Waxwork (1988)
ReplyDeleteThe ending makes me think of Trump.
Mr. Boogedy (1986)
ReplyDeletePhantom Puritan plagues, pesters, and petrifies phamily.
Bride of Boogedy (1987)
ReplyDeleteMemories of this haunted me for years.
The Changeling (1980)
ReplyDeleteLooks like it's filmed on haunted Kodak.
Candy Corn (2019)
ReplyDeleteDirected by Josh Hasty Directed by R.Zombie
Cat People (1942; dir: Jacques Tourneur)
ReplyDeleteWhen will psychiatrists believe our cat stories??
Halloween (2018)
ReplyDeleteI got peanut butter on my penis.
BLOODY PIT OF HORROR (1965)
ReplyDeleteHaunted castle photoshoot? What could go wrong?
Willow Creek (2013)
ReplyDeleteFound FOOT-age gimmick used to BIG effect!
Candyman (1992)
ReplyDeleteLearned Tupac's Troublesome '96 lyrics are incorrect
Sleepy Hollow (1999)
ReplyDeleteLove for Landau’s powdered wig runs DEEP.
or
Man, do I miss top-tier Tim!
Hereditary (dir Ari Aster, 2018)
ReplyDeleteThere's mom crawling on the ceiling again.
Friday the 13th (1980)
ReplyDeleteWhere it all started. This series, anyways.
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)
ReplyDeleteWell, the kids got their money's worth.
Children of the Corn (1984)
ReplyDeleteCorny corn close ups, jump scares, kids
Blood Fest
ReplyDeletePeter Parker needs a new best friend.
Poltergeist (1982)
ReplyDeleteNeighbor Ben sucks, even poltergeists avoid him.
Hocus Pocus (1993)
ReplyDeleteBecause my best friend doesn't like horror.
Death Proof (2007)
ReplyDeleteDid you hear me Butterfly? Billboard whoooooooo!!!!
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteZero to vampire in under seven minutes
One Cut of the Dead (2019)
ReplyDeleteLove love love love love this movie!
*Didn't want to make a joke that might spoil this - seriously go in as blind as you can - even knowing as much as I did I was still delightfully surprised.