Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994):Hollywood equal Vampires: Women are only prey.
The Evil Within (2017)Basically Mirrors but made by a madman
Incubus (1966)Not Spanish. Not English. Not Latin. Shatner.
It Chapter 2 (2019)Still waiting for King's sequel, "Wait, What"?
IT Chapter 2 (2019)I Didn't hate It. I fucking Hader'd it.(That means I liked it a lot)
Didn't hate it. I fuckin Hader'd it(Now it's 7 words. Sorry)
It Chapter 2 (2019)This series really ruined the sewerclown industry
It Chapter 2 (2019)Chapter 2? More like Chapter Thank You!
It Chapter 2 (2019)As a now retired subterraneanclown...anyone hiring?
It Chapter 2 (2019)Pennywise? Dumbfoolish. Is that the right phrase?
It Chapter 2 (2019)Saw film in empty theatre. T'was great.
For counting purposes, I'm assuming you didn't watch it seven times?
Mikko is SMM MVP.
No, I didn't. Should have kept it in one bunch. Sorry about that, I've been on a gig and finally had time to see the movie, got very excited. My bad.
No bad, just making sure.
DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS (1971)Savagery lurks inside the most beautiful creaturesOrA trip to Belgium courtesy of eurohorror
LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM (1988, dir. Ken Russell)The subtlety of Ken Russell on displayORSerpent vampires strangely attracted to bagpipe music
Rabid (1977, David Cronenberg)Waxing that armpit would be a pain
Society (1989)I have seen things you wouldn’t believe!
You can't have Halloween without a good shunting.
DAY OF THE ANIMALS (1977) Animals sure take their time before attacking.
Scream (1996,dir Wes Craven)"This is life. This isn't a movie!"
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)Ancient Aliens? History Channel original movie, right?orTactical shower curtain best defense against clowns
Creepshow (1982)Barfly Barbeau belittles beau with bovine beverageOREnter on Adkins, exit on a prick
Ah damn, the moment I hit SEND, I realized I should have said "bearing" in place of "with"
Alligator (1980)Wedding Crashers, but funny and with teeth.
Final Destination (2000)Most entertaining United Airlines training video ever.
Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)The spider movie Arachnophobia wanted to be.
The Furies (2019)Rare feeling: Cant WAIT for a sequel!
MIDSOMMAR (2019) dir. Ari AsterMore rictus grinning naked elderly than HEREDITARY.
Happy Death Day (2017)Her safety? Punxsutawney State. Go Phightin' Phils!
The Bride of Frankenstein (1935, dir. James Whale)Bandages are removed. Goth culture is born.
Brightburn (2019)This boy's super abilities are jaw-droppingly evil.
Oldboy (2003)Relationships can't last without a tongue anyway
Tusk (2014)This is also how Clerks originally ended
The Fog (1980)Honestly, weatherman hasn't a chance with Stevie.
Dead of Night aka Deathdream (1974)Guess he's more of a cat person.
Sole Survivor (1984)Much less passive aggressive than Final Destination.
The Haunting (1963)Excuse me what? I was inner monologuing
The Forest of Lost Souls (2018) Millenials are know-it-all hipsters even in suicide.
Creepshow (1982)Someone please give Bernie Sanders his cake.
Bride of Chucky (1998, dir. Ronny Yu) What's better'n Jennifer Tilly playing a doll? Seed of Chucky (2004, dir. Don Mancini) Jennifer Tilly playing a doll and herself.
Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)Guess I own a dead lady now.
976-Evil 2 (1991)Before 1-800-COLLECT nixed 900 numbers.
Scream 3 (2000)Careful, Ghostface, Emily Mortimer has bird bones.
Devil Story (1985)Nazi zombie, sexy blonde, man shoots horse.
IT: Chapter 2 (2019)Oh, so It came from outer space
EVENT HORIZON (1997)"Here I come motherfucker!"----MASTERPIECE STATUS CONFIRMED!!
Christmas Evil (1980)Fantastic ending. Great score. Ripped Jeffrey DeMunn.
DEATH MACHINES (1994) Perfect ‘90s 3 a.m. cable TV movie.
Uncle Sam (1996)I WANT YOU, TO REMAKE THIS COWARDS!
Sleepwalkers (1992)Sorry, I'm taking my mom to prom.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (2010)Remind me not to rewatch this one.
Itsy Bitsy (2019, dir. Micah Gallo)Positive that spider lives outside our house.
Halloween: Resurrection (2002)What's the matter? Are you not dangertained?!
HomeBodies 1974On VHS just for my brother from another mother ChaybeeThe Killer senior citizens genre starts here
House of Dracula (1945, Erle C. Kenton)This Dracula feels much hornier than usual
UNINVITED (1987): ALIEN goes Spring Break. With George Kennedy.
Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983)Fine grandpa, we'll play kick the can.
IT CHAPTER 2Old Spice guy versus Killer Space Klown
The Evil Dead (1981)Proof that audiobooks will kill us all.
Paperhouse (1989)Amazon and JB both say this counts.
The Monster (2016)Pretty much how all family roadtrips end.
The Hitcher (2007)Guess what happens to Sean Beans character.
Lasso (2018) Just give her the steak, Muscle Fucker. Rodeo really is a dying industry. #dadjokes
Re-Animator(1985) Seven words? Only one is necessary....malpractice.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)A love story done right, for once.
SILENT HILL (2006):Ash effect was actually parmesan cheese. Delicious.
and they forgot to tell the waiter when
Scary Movie (1991):John Hawkes is greater than Jon Abrahams
May The Devil Take Me (2018; dir: Timo Tjahjanto)Sure, since you asked me so nicely.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)My fellow embalmers needed new nightmares. Thanks!
The Furies (2019)The costumes definitely aren't cute and fuzzy!Or:Mild Spoiler: The best "game" premise ever?
Slumber Party Massacre 2 (1987) Dir. Deborah BrockThe bassist's right hand technique bothered me.
THE POSSESSION OF HANNAH GRACE (2018) Morgue needs more Borg, Porgs, and Wargs.
Night of the Creeps (1986)Atkins not the romantic male lead? Bullshit!
Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter (1974)Not many vampires, but LOTS of sexism!
Hell Night Who forgot to lock the gun room?
We Are Still Here (2015)My dog ate socks then died too
Midsommar (2019)Not one to send food back, but...
The Furies (2019)I just...need more...like another movie...
A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)(theatrical screening with audience of about fifteen people)...this film’s subtext: parakeets make obnoxious pets...
Child's Play 2 (1990)Kind of annoying until the toy factory
The Abdominal Dr Phibes (1971)Bats, brass battling British bourgeois? Bloody brilliant.
Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007, dir. Victor Garcia)At least they gave Jeffrey Combs work.
Midsommar(2019) Now this is some cinema! Martin Scorcese
Book of Monsters (2018)Practical creatures and gore galore; killer birthday!
Day of the Dead (1985)Zombies that shoot guns? You mean, Republicans?
Death Machine (1994)Should have been set in a mall.
Night of the Comet (1984)How long until this comet comes back?
House of Usher (1960)A nice comfy blanket of a movie.
A Horrible Way to Die (2010)I anticipated a much more horrible death.
Halloween (2018)A Halloween sequel that's actually Terminator 2!
Brightburn (2019) Or, more appropriately titled: Tim Burtons Superman.
The Descent (2005)Tight spaces infinitely more terrifying than molemen.
Dawn of the Dead (2004)Exact moment Zach Snyder officially became "visionary"
GHOST SHIP (1980) But which ghost is the assistant purser?
The Vault (2017) This movie suffers from bipolar disorder.
The Furies (2019)She gets to rock an eye patch!
Annabelle Comes Home (2019; dir: Gary Dauberman)The Annabelle franchise is actually sneaky good.
The Lodgers (2017)Inbred siblings scared of some upside-down water.
Haunt (2019)You can't accuse the killers of laziness.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dead Silence (2007)Twist Ending, a hands up his ass.
Midsommar (2019) dir. Ari AsterThat bear suit actually looks rather cozy.
The Silence (2019)Can't decide which: Deep Impact or Armageddon?
Joker (Todd Phillips, 2019)Counting this because it's a homicidal clown
Saw 3D: The Final Chapter (2010)The Final Chapter ... oh it's not final?
Interview with the Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles (1994):
ReplyDeleteHollywood equal Vampires: Women are only prey.
The Evil Within (2017)
ReplyDeleteBasically Mirrors but made by a madman
Incubus (1966)
ReplyDeleteNot Spanish. Not English. Not Latin. Shatner.
It Chapter 2 (2019)
ReplyDeleteStill waiting for King's sequel, "Wait, What"?
IT Chapter 2 (2019)
ReplyDeleteI Didn't hate It. I fucking Hader'd it.
(That means I liked it a lot)
Didn't hate it. I fuckin Hader'd it
Delete(Now it's 7 words. Sorry)
It Chapter 2 (2019)
ReplyDeleteThis series really ruined the sewerclown industry
It Chapter 2 (2019)
ReplyDeleteChapter 2? More like Chapter Thank You!
It Chapter 2 (2019)
ReplyDeleteAs a now retired subterraneanclown...anyone hiring?
It Chapter 2 (2019)
ReplyDeletePennywise? Dumbfoolish. Is that the right phrase?
It Chapter 2 (2019)
ReplyDeleteSaw film in empty theatre. T'was great.
For counting purposes, I'm assuming you didn't watch it seven times?
DeleteMikko is SMM MVP.
DeleteNo, I didn't. Should have kept it in one bunch. Sorry about that, I've been on a gig and finally had time to see the movie, got very excited. My bad.
DeleteNo bad, just making sure.
DeleteDAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS (1971)
ReplyDeleteSavagery lurks inside the most beautiful creatures
Or
A trip to Belgium courtesy of eurohorror
LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM (1988, dir. Ken Russell)
ReplyDeleteThe subtlety of Ken Russell on display
OR
Serpent vampires strangely attracted to bagpipe music
Rabid (1977, David Cronenberg)
ReplyDeleteWaxing that armpit would be a pain
Society (1989)
ReplyDeleteI have seen things you wouldn’t believe!
You can't have Halloween without a good shunting.
DeleteDAY OF THE ANIMALS (1977)
ReplyDeleteAnimals sure take their time before attacking.
Scream (1996,dir Wes Craven)
ReplyDelete"This is life. This isn't a movie!"
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
ReplyDeleteAncient Aliens? History Channel original movie, right?
or
Tactical shower curtain best defense against clowns
Creepshow (1982)
ReplyDeleteBarfly Barbeau belittles beau with bovine beverage
OR
Enter on Adkins, exit on a prick
Ah damn, the moment I hit SEND, I realized I should have said "bearing" in place of "with"
DeleteAlligator (1980)
ReplyDeleteWedding Crashers, but funny and with teeth.
Final Destination (2000)
ReplyDeleteMost entertaining United Airlines training video ever.
Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)
ReplyDeleteThe spider movie Arachnophobia wanted to be.
The Furies (2019)
ReplyDeleteRare feeling: Cant WAIT for a sequel!
MIDSOMMAR (2019) dir. Ari Aster
ReplyDeleteMore rictus grinning naked elderly than HEREDITARY.
Happy Death Day (2017)
ReplyDeleteHer safety? Punxsutawney State. Go Phightin' Phils!
The Bride of Frankenstein (1935, dir. James Whale)
ReplyDeleteBandages are removed. Goth culture is born.
Brightburn (2019)
ReplyDeleteThis boy's super abilities are jaw-droppingly evil.
Oldboy (2003)
ReplyDeleteRelationships can't last without a tongue anyway
Tusk (2014)
ReplyDeleteThis is also how Clerks originally ended
The Fog (1980)
ReplyDeleteHonestly, weatherman hasn't a chance with Stevie.
Dead of Night aka Deathdream (1974)
ReplyDeleteGuess he's more of a cat person.
Sole Survivor (1984)
ReplyDeleteMuch less passive aggressive than Final Destination.
The Haunting (1963)
ReplyDeleteExcuse me what? I was inner monologuing
The Forest of Lost Souls (2018)
ReplyDeleteMillenials are know-it-all hipsters even in suicide.
Creepshow (1982)
ReplyDeleteSomeone please give Bernie Sanders his cake.
Bride of Chucky (1998, dir. Ronny Yu)
ReplyDeleteWhat's better'n Jennifer Tilly playing a doll?
Seed of Chucky (2004, dir. Don Mancini)
Jennifer Tilly playing a doll and herself.
Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)
ReplyDeleteGuess I own a dead lady now.
976-Evil 2 (1991)
ReplyDeleteBefore 1-800-COLLECT nixed 900 numbers.
Scream 3 (2000)
ReplyDeleteCareful, Ghostface, Emily Mortimer has bird bones.
Devil Story (1985)
ReplyDeleteNazi zombie, sexy blonde, man shoots horse.
IT: Chapter 2 (2019)
ReplyDeleteOh, so It came from outer space
EVENT HORIZON (1997)
ReplyDelete"Here I come motherfucker!"----MASTERPIECE STATUS CONFIRMED!!
Christmas Evil (1980)
ReplyDeleteFantastic ending. Great score. Ripped Jeffrey DeMunn.
DEATH MACHINES (1994)
ReplyDeletePerfect ‘90s 3 a.m. cable TV movie.
Uncle Sam (1996)
ReplyDeleteI WANT YOU, TO REMAKE THIS COWARDS!
Sleepwalkers (1992)
ReplyDeleteSorry, I'm taking my mom to prom.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (2010)
ReplyDeleteRemind me not to rewatch this one.
Itsy Bitsy (2019, dir. Micah Gallo)
ReplyDeletePositive that spider lives outside our house.
Halloween: Resurrection (2002)
ReplyDeleteWhat's the matter? Are you not dangertained?!
HomeBodies 1974
ReplyDeleteOn VHS just for my brother from another mother Chaybee
The Killer senior citizens genre starts here
House of Dracula (1945, Erle C. Kenton)
ReplyDeleteThis Dracula feels much hornier than usual
UNINVITED (1987):
ReplyDeleteALIEN goes Spring Break. With George Kennedy.
Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983)
ReplyDeleteFine grandpa, we'll play kick the can.
IT CHAPTER 2
ReplyDeleteOld Spice guy versus Killer Space Klown
The Evil Dead (1981)
ReplyDeleteProof that audiobooks will kill us all.
Paperhouse (1989)
ReplyDeleteAmazon and JB both say this counts.
The Monster (2016)
ReplyDeletePretty much how all family roadtrips end.
The Hitcher (2007)
ReplyDeleteGuess what happens to Sean Beans character.
Lasso (2018)
ReplyDeleteJust give her the steak, Muscle Fucker.
Rodeo really is a dying industry. #dadjokes
Re-Animator(1985) Seven words? Only one is necessary....malpractice.
ReplyDeleteA Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
ReplyDeleteA love story done right, for once.
SILENT HILL (2006):
ReplyDeleteAsh effect was actually parmesan cheese. Delicious.
and they forgot to tell the waiter when
DeleteScary Movie (1991):
ReplyDeleteJohn Hawkes is greater than Jon Abrahams
May The Devil Take Me (2018; dir: Timo Tjahjanto)
ReplyDeleteSure, since you asked me so nicely.
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)
ReplyDeleteMy fellow embalmers needed new nightmares. Thanks!
The Furies (2019)
ReplyDeleteThe costumes definitely aren't cute and fuzzy!
Or:
Mild Spoiler: The best "game" premise ever?
Slumber Party Massacre 2 (1987) Dir. Deborah Brock
ReplyDeleteThe bassist's right hand technique bothered me.
THE POSSESSION OF HANNAH GRACE (2018)
ReplyDeleteMorgue needs more Borg, Porgs, and Wargs.
Night of the Creeps (1986)
ReplyDeleteAtkins not the romantic male lead? Bullshit!
Captain Kronos - Vampire Hunter (1974)
ReplyDeleteNot many vampires, but LOTS of sexism!
Hell Night
ReplyDeleteWho forgot to lock the gun room?
We Are Still Here (2015)
ReplyDeleteMy dog ate socks then died too
Midsommar (2019)
ReplyDeleteNot one to send food back, but...
The Furies (2019)
ReplyDeleteI just...need more...like another movie...
A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)
ReplyDelete(theatrical screening with audience of about fifteen people)
...this film’s subtext: parakeets make obnoxious pets...
Child's Play 2 (1990)
ReplyDeleteKind of annoying until the toy factory
The Abdominal Dr Phibes (1971)
ReplyDeleteBats, brass battling British bourgeois? Bloody brilliant.
Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007, dir. Victor Garcia)
ReplyDeleteAt least they gave Jeffrey Combs work.
Midsommar(2019)
ReplyDeleteNow this is some cinema!
Martin Scorcese
Book of Monsters (2018)
ReplyDeletePractical creatures and gore galore; killer birthday!
Day of the Dead (1985)
ReplyDeleteZombies that shoot guns?
You mean, Republicans?
Death Machine (1994)
ReplyDeleteShould have been set in a mall.
Night of the Comet (1984)
ReplyDeleteHow long until this comet comes back?
House of Usher (1960)
ReplyDeleteA nice comfy blanket of a movie.
A Horrible Way to Die (2010)
ReplyDeleteI anticipated a much more horrible death.
Halloween (2018)
ReplyDeleteA Halloween sequel that's actually Terminator 2!
Brightburn (2019)
ReplyDeleteOr, more appropriately titled: Tim Burtons Superman.
The Descent (2005)
ReplyDeleteTight spaces infinitely more terrifying than molemen.
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
ReplyDeleteExact moment Zach Snyder officially became "visionary"
GHOST SHIP (1980)
ReplyDeleteBut which ghost is the assistant purser?
The Vault (2017)
ReplyDeleteThis movie suffers from bipolar disorder.
The Furies (2019)
ReplyDeleteShe gets to rock an eye patch!
Annabelle Comes Home (2019; dir: Gary Dauberman)
ReplyDeleteThe Annabelle franchise is actually sneaky good.
The Lodgers (2017)
ReplyDeleteInbred siblings scared of some upside-down water.
Haunt (2019)
ReplyDeleteYou can't accuse the killers of laziness.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDead Silence (2007)
ReplyDeleteTwist Ending, a hands up his ass.
Midsommar (2019) dir. Ari Aster
ReplyDeleteThat bear suit actually looks rather cozy.
The Silence (2019)
ReplyDeleteCan't decide which: Deep Impact or Armageddon?
Joker (Todd Phillips, 2019)
ReplyDeleteCounting this because it's a homicidal clown
Saw 3D: The Final Chapter (2010)
ReplyDeleteThe Final Chapter ... oh it's not final?