Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Celluloid Ramblings: Halloween Libations

by JB
All of you know what we say every Halloween, “Candy is dandy, but liquor…”

The fine folks at Super 7 put out a cool new set of Universal Monsters glassware a few weeks ago, and besides being a “Monster Kid 2019 Must Buy,” these delightful throwbacks to 1980s McDonalds and Burger King giveaways got me to thinking about my other passion in life: cleverly themed adult beverages.
“What if I were to invent new MONSTER cocktails?” I wondered aloud recently during a typical evening’s drunken revelry, “New cocktails to fill these cool new glasses—I can do that! I don’t even need permission to do that. Now, how on Earth did I wind up facedown on the floor of the garage?”

I consulted the Internet. I consulted my lovely wife, who would selflessly volunteer to taste test these new concoctions and prove that at least they wouldn’t kill anyone. I enlisted the aid of eminent Florida mixologist Grant Peyton, who really knows his stuff. (He still insists you should use Monkey Shoulder Whiskey—a real thing—in the werewolf drink. I couldn’t find it anywhere.) Thanks, Jan. Thanks, Grant. You both made these drinks more drinkier. Drunkier. Monsterier. Tastier!

Cocktail #1: Hair of the Dog

1 ounce Maker’s Mark bourbon
1 bottle IBC root beer
1 can whipped cream
1 Ole Smokey Moonshine Cherry w/liquid
Fill glass to the rim with ice. Shock the ice with bourbon; stir. Pour in root beer to fill glass. Top with a froth of whipped cream. Drizzle two teaspoons of cherry juice onto whipped cream to look like the blood of your latest victim. Garnish with single Moonshine Cherry. Arrrooooooooooo!

Cocktail #2: Little Maria

1 ½ ounces Espolon Tequila (the one with the skeleton right on the label!)
1 ounce Triple Sec
Half a large lemon
Green River soda pop
Combine tequila and triple sec in a cocktail shaker; vigorously squeeze the juice from the half lemon into the shaker and shake well. Pour contents over ice. Fill remainder of glass with Green River; stir. Garnish with a lemon peel flower petal. Float the lemon peel in the drink, just like Little Maria didn’t.

Cocktail #3: Creature From The Jack Lagoon

1 ounce Gentleman Jack Whiskey
Juice from half a lime
Fill glass 3/4 to the rim with ice. Shock the ice with whiskey. Add lime juice and stir. Fill glass to the rim with Coca-Cola. Garnish with lime slice “gill.”

YES, I know—this one is basically a Jack and Coke. So sue me, I really like Jack and Coke, and the extra lime gives the drink more dimension (See what I did there?) Also I tried other “black liquid” mixers—none of them are really black, and they all taste terrible. So YOU’RE WELCOME.

Cocktail #4: The Sandy Bandage

1 ounce Absolut Vanilla Vodka
6 ounces milk
1 ½ ounce Crown Royal Salted Caramel Whiskey
Turbinado sugar
Egyptian cardamom
Combine vodka, milk, and ice in a cocktail shaker and shake vigorously until frothy. Pour into glass that has been rimmed with turbinado sugar. Float the shot and a half of whiskey on top of the ice and dust surface lightly with cardamom to evoke the mysterious scent of desert breeze. The sugar rim looks like sand! I would suggest garnishing this one with a Band-Aid, but it might ruin the taste—which is quite tasty.
Try these recipes at your next Halloween party… or maybe just lunch tomorrow. I hope you find them as monstrously delicious as I do. These unique drinks are sure to make Scary Movie Month… even more scarier. Here’s hoping that sales of these glasses warrant a second set next year… How about Dracula, the Bride of Frankenstein, the Invisible Man, and the Phantom of the Opera next? I’d love to make THOSE drinks. Let us know in the comments below which of these is your favorite!


  1. They all sound awesome. I think the Sandy Bandage one is what I'd go for first. Those drink glasses are wonderful too.

  2. Thank you for doing the lords work.

  3. Can we plan a tasting party? Yes? On my way!