The fine folks at Super 7 put out a cool new set of Universal Monsters glassware a few weeks ago, and besides being a “Monster Kid 2019 Must Buy,” these delightful throwbacks to 1980s McDonalds and Burger King giveaways got me to thinking about my other passion in life: cleverly themed adult beverages.
I consulted the Internet. I consulted my lovely wife, who would selflessly volunteer to taste test these new concoctions and prove that at least they wouldn’t kill anyone. I enlisted the aid of eminent Florida mixologist Grant Peyton, who really knows his stuff. (He still insists you should use Monkey Shoulder Whiskey—a real thing—in the werewolf drink. I couldn’t find it anywhere.) Thanks, Jan. Thanks, Grant. You both made these drinks more drinkier. Drunkier. Monsterier. Tastier!
Cocktail #1: Hair of the Dog
1 ounce Maker’s Mark bourbon
1 bottle IBC root beer
1 can whipped cream
1 Ole Smokey Moonshine Cherry w/liquid
Cocktail #2: Little Maria
1 ½ ounces Espolon Tequila (the one with the skeleton right on the label!)
1 ounce Triple Sec
Half a large lemon
Green River soda pop
Cocktail #3: Creature From The Jack Lagoon
1 ounce Gentleman Jack Whiskey
Juice from half a lime
YES, I know—this one is basically a Jack and Coke. So sue me, I really like Jack and Coke, and the extra lime gives the drink more dimension (See what I did there?) Also I tried other “black liquid” mixers—none of them are really black, and they all taste terrible. So YOU’RE WELCOME.
Cocktail #4: The Sandy Bandage
1 ounce Absolut Vanilla Vodka
6 ounces milk
1 ½ ounce Crown Royal Salted Caramel Whiskey