HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS (Theatrical Cut, 1995, Blu-ray)Haddonfield/Smith's Grove: Illinois' own Metropolis/Gotham.orMichael turns against fellow cultists, denounces Trump.
HALLOWEEN 6: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS (Producers'Cut, 1995/2014, Blu-ray)Everybody shitpiles on Danielle Harris in absentia.orBetter, longer, but still nowhere near entertaining
Steve Miner's HALLOWEEN H20 (1998, Blu-ray)Michael's back... all 781,439 versions of him.orJoseph Gordon-Levitt lucks out, leaves movie early.
Steve Miner's HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION (2002, Blu-ray)Starbuck's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter skipped family's good acting gene.
I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER (2016, Dir. Billy O'Brien)Where we're going we don't need skin.
Mad Love, Karl Freund, 1935Be careful when monologuing to your mannequin
Galatea! Such a crazy movie, it deserves a re-watch.
Eyes Without a Face, dir Georges Franju, 1960More skin jigging than shown in Face/Off
Frankenhooker, dir Frank Henenlotter 1990The bows on frankenhookers' shoes are adorable
OrElectric drill perfect cure for itchy brain
Death Becomes her (1992)Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn are smashing…
The Babysitter (2017)Samara's weaving a plan to murder nerds.
Halloween (2018)Blurs line between callbacks and fan serviceOrGreer’s the Karen the world needs now
THE INNOCENTS (1961, dir. Jack Clayton)Damn, Flanagan’s new show seemed really short.
Predator (1987, new 4k disc)Not horror? It meets JB's four archetypes.
ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN (1948) Actually, he’s named I Don’t Know’s monster.
Brain Dead (1990)Both Bills and a bunch of brains.
Get Out (2017 - Jordan Peele) It was late revenge for the deer.
The Invisible Man (2020)So it could've been Kevin Bacon, right?
The Devil Bat (1940)Devil bat easily thwarted by closed windows.
clever
One of Bela Lugosi's better poverty row films, almost a black comedy.
City of the Living Dead (1980)We JUST spackled that gateway to hell!
The Cleansing Hour(2019)Patreon supporters get access to special possession
Alien 3 (1992)Kudos to those who like this one
The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)U.S. healthcare system is kinda fucked, eh?
Th Frighteners (1996) Fake Ghost Buster Takes on Fake Reaper
The Covenant (2006)Boy-Craft is peak 2000s horror.
The Monster Club (1981)What Amicus was always missing: POP ROCK!
Hollow Man (2000)I've seen Kevin's bacon more than mine
Poltergeist III (1988)Tangina crosses over. Small medium at large.
31 (2016)It's like The Running Man, but bloodier.
ROSE PLAYS JULIE (2019):HARD CANDY meets REVENGE meets RAW meets...
Hocus Pocus (1993, dir. Kenny Ortega)The kid's got some awesome drumming skills.
Tourist Trap (1979)Axe the remake that'd make Chuck proud.
BATS (1999) These bats are kind of adorable, actually.
May (2002) director Lucky McKeeCracking glass a sign of sanity, right?
Children of the Corn (1984)It's pretty cornographic right from the beginning.
Oh, very good.
Messiah of Evil (1973)Blue Man Group member starts craving flesh.
Puppet Master (1989)Paul Le Mat doesn't seem particularly invested.
THE VELEVET VAMPIRE (1971) She’s done it! She’s ensconced in velvet!
House on Haunted Hill (1959)"Boss, what's our budget for skeletons?" "No"
Zombie(1979) Hell is full. Next stop, THE BEACH!
LEAP OF FAITH: WILLIAM FRIEDKIN ON THE EXORCIST (2019):I need Friedkin to start a podcast.
TRUCKS (1999) Your overdrive is somewhat less than maximum.
Friday the 13th Part 2Among all his sharp objects, no scissors?
Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)Even Clamp would be better than Trump.
Aenigma (1987)I enjoyed this more than I expected.
Motel Hell (1980)It takes all kinds...no, just humans.
🤣👏
You Should Have Left (2020)I have Bacon on my cheat days.
Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)It's the franchises first Foree into indestructibility.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) director Tony RandelHell is an eternity of pediatric wordplay
Tales From The Darkside : The Movie (1990)Great cast, and better than Creepshow 2?
Possessor (2020, dir. Brandon Cronenberg)Like Face/Off but with grievous stab wounds
Alien (1979)Chestbursting still looks like it really Hurts.
😳🥳👏
Event Horizon (1997)Why build ship that's so darn spooky?
Like force (1985)Heard Patrick Stewart was naked throughout. Lies!
The Thing from Another World (1951)Now that is what I call vege-might!
THE EXORCIST (1973):And? My kid does this every night.
Before I wake (2016)It's ok if you eat my husband.
INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS (1973):Bees from space cause death by sex.
Def By Temptation (1990)I'm gonna watch this 100 more times
LITTLE MONSTERS (2019, dir. Abe Forsythe)More Taylor Swift in zombie movies please?
House by the Cemetary, dir Lucio Fulci, 1981Lucy thought about keeping Bob in basement.
Body Bags (1993)Never thought I'd see Mark Hamill's balls.
Brain Damage (1988)And this is your brain on slugs.
Friday the 13th Part IIIWe're just switching to Roman numerals, eh?
Prom Night (Paul Lynch, 1980)These kids aged twenty years in six
976-Evil (1988)Hm. Huh. Um. Ugh. (Sighs). Squints. Nope.
The Exorcist III (1990, William Peter Blatty)Of course! Of COURSE Fabio's in heaven!
Friday the 13th Part III (1982)I'll take Shelly over Rick any day.
Jaws 2 (1978)Despite his great name, Michael is useless.
AnacondaNot a good day for Ice Cube.
Pitch Black (2000)Think Riddicks's crime was stealing dvd players?
Hatchet II (201)The one that Tony Todd goes topless.
Red Snow 2: Red vs. Dead (2014)It would take more than seven words..
THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (1979) 1970s housewives dressed like Swiss Miss ads?
Dream Demon ('88, Cokeliss)British mannerisms and female friendship on display
Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)Might be where my spider fears began.
I Married a Witch (1942)Veronica Lake almost as adorable as Erika.
Awww. :) She is!
Two on a Guillotine (1965)Joker wants daughter's/wife's/Connie Francis's head.
The Boy (2016)I've seen The Boy so many times.
Kill, Baby...Kill (1966)Thought this was favorite Bava. Was wrong.
The House on Sorority Row (1982)Pool was gross even before dead body.
Harvest Lake (2016)Sexy movie about sex with the woods.
DIE MONSTER DIE (1965) If Stan Lee wrote a Karloff movie.
Piranha 3DD(2012)Continues the franchise tradition of penile torture
Takes from the Hood(1995)KKK Comeuppance: We all see it right?
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scream 4 (2011)Direction has finally caught up with screenwriting
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)Joseph “Slow Motion Leap Through Glass” Zito
Friday the 13th Part II (1981) director Steve MinorJason's place looks like a sheet hole
:-D (Thumbs up)
The Brood (1979)Classier alternate title? A Womb with a VieworBrood in attic beats skeletons in closet
Counting (and spelling) are hard. Fixed it. not sure which works better.Alternate title? A Womb with a VieworClassier title? A Womb with a View
Spiral (2019)Ugh white people in small suburban towns...
Leprechaun (1993)Canadian Thanksgiving saved by the orange prick
Just Before Dawn (1981)Under pressure, Constance develops the Reverse Heimlich.
Two revisits of films I love. "Doom Asylum" and "Pontypool". Patty Mullen's laugh and boobs, McHattie's voice.
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)I know what you did, Jack Black...
Tales from the Hood (1995)Prefer Hell to funeral home basement anyway
The Human Monster (1939)Lugosi listlessly leads large, lowly, lumpy lout.
Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)Trolls have same power as Indian cupboard.
Mortuary (1983)Should have just listened to those records.
The Fly (1986)Jeff Goldblum goes to pieces Cronenbergian style.
Color Out of Space (2019)Mom, you really need to let go.
WNUF Halloween Special (2013)For no frills, go directly to Phil’s!
HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS (Theatrical Cut, 1995, Blu-ray)
ReplyDeleteHaddonfield/Smith's Grove: Illinois' own Metropolis/Gotham.
or
Michael turns against fellow cultists, denounces Trump.
HALLOWEEN 6: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS (Producers'Cut, 1995/2014, Blu-ray)
ReplyDeleteEverybody shitpiles on Danielle Harris in absentia.
or
Better, longer, but still nowhere near entertaining
Steve Miner's HALLOWEEN H20 (1998, Blu-ray)
ReplyDeleteMichael's back... all 781,439 versions of him.
or
Joseph Gordon-Levitt lucks out, leaves movie early.
Steve Miner's HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION (2002, Blu-ray)
ReplyDeleteStarbuck's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-granddaughter skipped family's good acting gene.
I AM NOT A SERIAL KILLER (2016, Dir. Billy O'Brien)
ReplyDeleteWhere we're going we don't need skin.
Mad Love, Karl Freund, 1935
ReplyDeleteBe careful when monologuing to your mannequin
Galatea! Such a crazy movie, it deserves a re-watch.
DeleteEyes Without a Face, dir Georges Franju, 1960
ReplyDeleteMore skin jigging than shown in Face/Off
Frankenhooker, dir Frank Henenlotter 1990
ReplyDeleteThe bows on frankenhookers' shoes are adorable
Or
DeleteElectric drill perfect cure for itchy
brain
Death Becomes her (1992)
ReplyDeleteMeryl Streep and Goldie Hawn are smashing…
The Babysitter (2017)
ReplyDeleteSamara's weaving a plan to murder nerds.
Halloween (2018)
ReplyDeleteBlurs line between callbacks and fan service
Or
Greer’s the Karen the world needs now
THE INNOCENTS (1961, dir. Jack Clayton)
ReplyDeleteDamn, Flanagan’s new show seemed really short.
Predator (1987, new 4k disc)
ReplyDeleteNot horror? It meets JB's four archetypes.
ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN (1948)
ReplyDeleteActually, he’s named I Don’t Know’s monster.
Brain Dead (1990)
ReplyDeleteBoth Bills and a bunch of brains.
Get Out (2017 - Jordan Peele)
ReplyDeleteIt was late revenge for the deer.
The Invisible Man (2020)
ReplyDeleteSo it could've been Kevin Bacon, right?
The Devil Bat (1940)
ReplyDeleteDevil bat easily thwarted by closed windows.
clever
DeleteOne of Bela Lugosi's better poverty row films, almost a black comedy.
DeleteCity of the Living Dead (1980)
ReplyDeleteWe JUST spackled that gateway to hell!
The Cleansing Hour(2019)
ReplyDeletePatreon supporters get access to special possession
Alien 3 (1992)
ReplyDeleteKudos to those who like this one
The Haunting in Connecticut (2009)
ReplyDeleteU.S. healthcare system is kinda fucked, eh?
Th Frighteners (1996)
ReplyDeleteFake Ghost Buster Takes on Fake Reaper
The Covenant (2006)
ReplyDeleteBoy-Craft is peak 2000s horror.
The Monster Club (1981)
ReplyDeleteWhat Amicus was always missing: POP ROCK!
Hollow Man (2000)
ReplyDeleteI've seen Kevin's bacon more than mine
Poltergeist III (1988)
ReplyDeleteTangina crosses over. Small medium at large.
31 (2016)
ReplyDeleteIt's like The Running Man, but bloodier.
ROSE PLAYS JULIE (2019):
ReplyDeleteHARD CANDY meets REVENGE meets RAW meets...
Hocus Pocus (1993, dir. Kenny Ortega)
ReplyDeleteThe kid's got some awesome drumming skills.
Tourist Trap (1979)
ReplyDeleteAxe the remake that'd make Chuck proud.
BATS (1999)
ReplyDeleteThese bats are kind of adorable, actually.
May (2002) director Lucky McKee
ReplyDeleteCracking glass a sign of sanity, right?
Children of the Corn (1984)
ReplyDeleteIt's pretty cornographic right from the beginning.
Oh, very good.
DeleteMessiah of Evil (1973)
ReplyDeleteBlue Man Group member starts craving flesh.
Puppet Master (1989)
ReplyDeletePaul Le Mat doesn't seem particularly invested.
THE VELEVET VAMPIRE (1971)
ReplyDeleteShe’s done it! She’s ensconced in velvet!
House on Haunted Hill (1959)
ReplyDelete"Boss, what's our budget for skeletons?" "No"
Zombie(1979) Hell is full. Next stop, THE BEACH!
ReplyDeleteLEAP OF FAITH: WILLIAM FRIEDKIN ON THE EXORCIST (2019):
ReplyDeleteI need Friedkin to start a podcast.
TRUCKS (1999)
ReplyDeleteYour overdrive is somewhat less than maximum.
Friday the 13th Part 2
ReplyDeleteAmong all his sharp objects, no scissors?
Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)
ReplyDeleteEven Clamp would be better than Trump.
Aenigma (1987)
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this more than I expected.
Motel Hell (1980)
ReplyDeleteIt takes all kinds...no, just humans.
🤣👏
DeleteYou Should Have Left (2020)
ReplyDeleteI have Bacon on my cheat days.
Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)
ReplyDeleteIt's the franchises first Foree into indestructibility.
Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) director Tony Randel
ReplyDeleteHell is an eternity of pediatric wordplay
Tales From The Darkside : The Movie (1990)
ReplyDeleteGreat cast, and better than Creepshow 2?
Possessor (2020, dir. Brandon Cronenberg)
ReplyDeleteLike Face/Off but with grievous stab wounds
Alien (1979)
ReplyDeleteChestbursting still looks like it really Hurts.
😳🥳👏
DeleteEvent Horizon (1997)
ReplyDeleteWhy build ship that's so darn spooky?
Like force (1985)
ReplyDeleteHeard Patrick Stewart was naked throughout. Lies!
The Thing from Another World (1951)
ReplyDeleteNow that is what I call vege-might!
THE EXORCIST (1973):
ReplyDeleteAnd? My kid does this every night.
Before I wake (2016)
ReplyDeleteIt's ok if you eat my husband.
INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS (1973):
ReplyDeleteBees from space cause death by sex.
Def By Temptation (1990)
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna watch this 100 more times
LITTLE MONSTERS (2019, dir. Abe Forsythe)
ReplyDeleteMore Taylor Swift in zombie movies please?
House by the Cemetary, dir Lucio Fulci, 1981
ReplyDeleteLucy thought about keeping Bob in basement.
Body Bags (1993)
ReplyDeleteNever thought I'd see Mark Hamill's balls.
Brain Damage (1988)
ReplyDeleteAnd this is your brain on slugs.
Friday the 13th Part III
ReplyDeleteWe're just switching to Roman numerals, eh?
Prom Night (Paul Lynch, 1980)
ReplyDeleteThese kids aged twenty years in six
976-Evil (1988)
ReplyDeleteHm. Huh. Um. Ugh. (Sighs). Squints. Nope.
The Exorcist III (1990, William Peter Blatty)
ReplyDeleteOf course! Of COURSE Fabio's in heaven!
Friday the 13th Part III (1982)
ReplyDeleteI'll take Shelly over Rick any day.
Jaws 2 (1978)
ReplyDeleteDespite his great name, Michael is useless.
Anaconda
ReplyDeleteNot a good day for Ice Cube.
Pitch Black (2000)
ReplyDeleteThink Riddicks's crime was stealing dvd players?
Hatchet II (201)
ReplyDeleteThe one that Tony Todd goes topless.
Red Snow 2: Red vs. Dead (2014)
ReplyDeleteIt would take more than seven words..
THE AMITYVILLE HORROR (1979)
ReplyDelete1970s housewives dressed like Swiss Miss ads?
Dream Demon ('88, Cokeliss)
ReplyDeleteBritish mannerisms and female friendship on display
Something Wicked This Way Comes (1983)
ReplyDeleteMight be where my spider fears began.
I Married a Witch (1942)
ReplyDeleteVeronica Lake almost as adorable as Erika.
Awww. :) She is!
DeleteTwo on a Guillotine (1965)
ReplyDeleteJoker wants daughter's/wife's/Connie Francis's head.
The Boy (2016)
ReplyDeleteI've seen The Boy so many times.
Kill, Baby...Kill (1966)
ReplyDeleteThought this was favorite Bava. Was wrong.
The House on Sorority Row (1982)
ReplyDeletePool was gross even before dead body.
Harvest Lake (2016)
ReplyDeleteSexy movie about sex with the woods.
DIE MONSTER DIE (1965)
ReplyDeleteIf Stan Lee wrote a Karloff movie.
Piranha 3DD(2012)
ReplyDeleteContinues the franchise tradition of penile torture
Takes from the Hood(1995)
ReplyDeleteKKK Comeuppance: We all see it right?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteScream 4 (2011)
ReplyDeleteDirection has finally caught up with screenwriting
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
ReplyDeleteJoseph “Slow Motion Leap Through Glass” Zito
Friday the 13th Part II (1981) director Steve Minor
ReplyDeleteJason's place looks like a sheet hole
:-D (Thumbs up)
DeleteThe Brood (1979)
ReplyDeleteClassier alternate title? A Womb with a View
or
Brood in attic beats skeletons in closet
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteCounting (and spelling) are hard. Fixed it. not sure which works better.
DeleteAlternate title? A Womb with a View
or
Classier title? A Womb with a View
Spiral (2019)
ReplyDeleteUgh white people in small suburban towns...
Leprechaun (1993)
ReplyDeleteCanadian Thanksgiving saved by the orange prick
Just Before Dawn (1981)
ReplyDeleteUnder pressure, Constance develops the Reverse Heimlich.
Two revisits of films I love. "Doom Asylum" and "Pontypool".
ReplyDeletePatty Mullen's laugh and boobs, McHattie's voice.
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)
ReplyDeleteI know what you did, Jack Black...
Tales from the Hood (1995)
ReplyDeletePrefer Hell to funeral home basement anyway
The Human Monster (1939)
ReplyDeleteLugosi listlessly leads large, lowly, lumpy lout.
Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)
ReplyDeleteTrolls have same power as Indian cupboard.
Mortuary (1983)
ReplyDeleteShould have just listened to those records.
The Fly (1986)
ReplyDeleteJeff Goldblum goes to pieces Cronenbergian style.
Color Out of Space (2019)
ReplyDeleteMom, you really need to let go.
WNUF Halloween Special (2013)
ReplyDeleteFor no frills, go directly to Phil’s!