This is the day in my #SMM Calendar that I was looking forward to the most. It did not disappoint, and I can't believe it took me three decades to finally pop my cherry with the first two titles. :-)George P. Cosmatos' LEVIATHAN (1989, Amazon Prime) for the first time.Ernie Hudson's best work until you-know-what. #BLM.orTri-Oceanic Corp., the K-Mart of Weyland-Yutani subsidiaries.or--EVIL-LYN: 'Hi!'--ROBOCOP: POW!Roll credits. ★★★★★
Sean S. Cunningham's DEEP STAR SIX (1989, Amazon Prime) for the first time.Snyder, crew ineptitude as dangerous as monster.or"DS6" underwater toy/rubber monster. By Kenner.
Renny Harlin's DEEP BLUE SEA (1999, Hulu)Shitty CG notwithstanding, a fucking blast! Cohaagen?!?!orAt least Thomas has that Tampa gig.
THE RELIC (1997, Dir. Peter Hyams) Man Munching Monster meets Massive Meth Maniac.
Body Melt, dir Philip Brophy,1993Nobody ever expects death by vicious placenta
Disturbing Behaviour, dir David Nutter, 1998Maybe drowns too much in 1998 ennui
Dr. Giggles ('92, Coto)More endings than Return of the King.
HUSH... HUSH, SWEET CHARLOTTE (1964)Same team as Baby Jane but better.OrA great showcase for the lead actresses.
Silent Rage, dir Michael Miller, 1982Chuck has loose hiring methods for deputiesOr Jigsaw of different movies. No Pieces though
The Chill Factor (1993) aka Demon Possessed Karen, snowmobiles and Ouija boards doesn’t mix.
RESIDENT EVIL (2002) The studio chose this over George Romero?
Videodrome (1982)Grossest part of the movie? James Woods.
Howling 2: Your sister is a werewolf (1985)Sybil’s Stirba simply stunning in silly sequel.
The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972, dir. Charles B. Pierce)"Horror" "documentary:" "Bigfoot" "terrorizes" "real people..." "scary"
The Fog (1980)Weatherman predicts 100 percent change of death
RESIDNET VIL: APOCALYPSE (2004) Plot: four minutes. Shooting guns: ninety minutes.
Snakes on a Plane (2006) Played mostly straight despite premise, bad CG
Paranorman (2012) Clairvoyant preteen bonds with murdered ghost girl
Silent Hill (2006)Spoiler Alert: Sean Bean does not die.
Masque of the Red Death (1964)Don't look now, Nicolas Roeg is cinematographer.
HellraiserOnly trust cubes labeled "Made in China"
Wolf (1994)Jack Nicholson pees on James Spader's shoes.
Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003)What, did they lose the music rights?
RESIDENT EVIL: EXTINCTION (2007) Part 2’s cliffhanger? Let’s just ignore that.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)Stretch gets wet for that ice-cold chainsaw
The Haunting (1999)"Wow" - Owen Wilson, reacting to ghostly events.
Get Out (2017)I'll take hypnosis til Trump's gone please.
Dawn of the Dead (2004 - Zack Snyder) Michael Kelly has an explosive character arc.orPro birth advice: give something to bite.or"Where is Monica?" "She had to split."
Hocus Pocus (1993) That first act is fresher than bakery
April Fool's Day (1986)Major slasher movie innovation: everyone's likeable.
Death Becomes Her (1992, dir. Robert Zemeckis)Like Mandy's chainsaw fight, but with shovels.
RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE (2010) Is this the most boring horror franchise?
Grizzly (1976 Dir. William Girdler)THE perfect way to end my birthday
HOWLING (1981) News Reporter decides she prefers Doggie Chow!
RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION (2012) Yes, it’s the most boring horror franchise.
Minotaur (2006) Tom Hardy can't even save this one.
The Guest (2014)Fucking awesome in every way. DAN STEVENS!
Needful Things (1993)Castle Rock: The devil's in the retails.
The Shallows (2016)Scenery chewing shark inspires Blake Lively's ingenuity.
31 (2016) director Rob ZombieThe Texas Chainsaw Funhouse Running Man Massacre. Also..."31" for #31. Here's to 31 more!
The People Under the Stairs (1991, dir. Wes Craven)The alternative history of the Dursley family.
Fantasy Island (2020)Having likeable characters shouldn't be this hard
Demonia (1990)I'll have nun of that, thank you!
RESIDENT EVIL: THE FINAL CHAPTER (2016) I’ve never cared less about a series.
The Postcard Killings (2020)What Famke do to her face?!
They don’t think it be like it is, but it do.
Jaws: The Revenge (1987)Precedent setter in shark restraining order law
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Dourif is so great in this!
He totally steals the movie away from George C. Scott and never gives it back.
(ugh, I'll try this again)...Exorcist III (1990, dir. Peter William Blatty)C. Everett Koop ordered the chicken souporBrad Dourif: The Meryl Streep of Horror
Lake Bodom (2017)If you’re expecting giant alligators, forget it...
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)Angry ghost in need of big hug
When A Stranger Calls (1979)Legendary opening, solid ending, sleep inducing middle
Deep Rising (1998) director Stephen SommersExpected "Poseidon", got "20,000 Leagues: Under Siege"
Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)Universal Monsters go on a high note
Fantasy Island (2020)It's official, can watch Pena in anything.
Books of Blood (2020)Using biodegradable insulation is really quite responsible.
Demon Knight (1995)So much fun. Two big thumbs up!
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)Revenge, dish best served... by random teen?
Body at Brighton Rock (2019)Pretty intense at times. Not bad, actually.
It Follows (2014)Unstoppable deadly virus allegory? Ahead of time.
MUNCHIES (1987) Lacks the quiet contemplative subtlety of Critters.
Maximum Overdrive (1984 (with commentary 2014))JB's joy at cupcake gives me life
I marathoned The Final Destination franchise.Final DestinationThat teacher was Beautiful. She was Smokin. Final Destination 2The Glass death is the best. Clearly.Final Destination 3 They really nailed the hardware store death. The Final DestinationGirl at the race got TIREd fast. Final Destination 5Gymnasts bend over backwards to impress others.
The Editor (2014)Cake throwing will never not be funny.
Inseminoid (1981)People scream I think? I was asleep.
The Stuff (1985)At least Stuff doesn't make you poop.
The Craft (1996)Better teen girl metaphor: witches or werewolves?
Hubie Halloween (2020)I was very tired, laughed too much.
Friday the 13th Part 3 (1982)Shelly's hair even more beautiful in 4K!
City of the Living Dead (1980)"Representation matters." - Le Chiffre through bloody tears
In the tall grass (2019)Challenges the happening grass for top seed.
The Bye Bye Man (2017): Name equivalent of 'don't push that button'
SLAUGHTER HIGH (1986) Is slaughter an elective or an extracurricular?
Apostle (2017): King and country or Goddess and island?
Spider Baby (1967)Have things gone too far? Try dynamite!
From Beyond (1986) Sadly kimonos didn't become official scientist uniforms(Not part of the review: I could make 100 of these from this movie, just wow)
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987) Dir. Lee HarryBetter review repurposed to make this review.
Witches in the Woods (2019)Ima sucker for snow horror. Not terrible.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)It is a great PSA for trespassing.
Dead and Buried (1981)Death becomes her, and him, and her...
Little Monsters (2019)Happy Josh Gad got to be himself
Fright Night (1985)Vampires are bats. Familiars are goopy sand?
I Know What You Did Last Summer(1997)Vanishing body and crabs trick still baffles
The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)You reap what you sow, or staple
Sugar Hill (1974) director Paul MaslanskyAnyone confused when Samedi sang The Archies?
Hubie Halloween (2020)I realllly hate that I laughed....often
DeepStar Six (1989)Monster appears at minute 67 of 99.
The Slayer (1982, dir. J.S. Cardone)Four yuppies die? What killed them? [shrug]
Friday the 13th: The Final ChapterThis movie is not a dead fuck
Dark skies (2013)Aliens attempt to abduct child. They succeed.
URBAN LEGENDS: FINAL CUT (2000) Student films have multimillion dollar production value?
Fear (Foley, 1996)Marky Mark's funky bunch become CSI case
The Cabin in the Woods (2011)But when I kiss wolves it’s weird???
House on Haunted Hill (1959)Sounds better than Haunted House on Hill
Club Dread (Jay Chandrasekhar, 2004)Would absolutely see Coconut Pete in concert
The Monster Squad (1987)Tom Noonan playing himself. And three words.
Theater of Blood(1973)Price has a blast. Edwina has Stache
The Fury (1978)Kirk Douglas lived for 42 more years
The Mummy (1959)Drunken Irishman is cherry on racist sundae.
Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986) director Tom McLoughlinCort ramps camper's consol, camper ramps counselors
Santa Sangre:I don't think that asylum cured him
Alone (2020)Fight should've been in sporting goods store.
28 Day Later (2008)Curious George? No, more like Furious George.
Sleepy Hollow (1999 Tim Burton)I never knew decapitation could become boring.
Have you not seen "Starship Troopers?" ;-)
Near Dark (1987)Vampire drifter learns how to shift... er.
Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)Paris Hilton saves face despite dropping hers.
Wounds ( 2019 Babak Anvari)Never, ever go through Someone else’s phone
3 From Hell (2019)Sheri Moon Zombie music montages meliorates movie.
Vampires (1998)Unsure outfitted Baldwin hunting Tremors or dinosaurs?
Vampires vs the Bronx (2020)Do not let The Right one In.
Frankenhooker (1990)Um, technically frankenhooker is the doctor's name
Theatre of Blood (1973)Vincent Price once again plagiarizing Dana Carvey orMaster of Disguise has trampoline fencing fight.
Dawn of the Dead (1978)Doug is probably watching this right now.
House of Wax (2005 Jaume Collet-Serra)“Eliminate abandoned murder towns” new Census slogan
Mohawk (2017) (via Shudder)Syracuse is only slightly more fun now
Fade to Black (1980) Apparently toxic fandom was always a thing.