James Wan's MALIGNANT (2021, HBO Max), third viewing.Ass-backwards is the new way forward. #CONTRARIAN.ORHospital archive sequence better than "V/H/S" franchise.
FOURTH VIEWING, not third. Kids, never grow old.😕😓
Nia DaCosta's CANDYMAN (2021, theater). Second viewing (thanks, AMC A-List).--'SAY MY NAME!'--'Yahya Abdul-Mateen II?'--'D'OH!ORRacist cops get their comeuppance? Typical Hollywood.
Portrait of Dorian Gray, dir Albert Lewin, 1945The Devil's Face Cream, oily yet effective
UNDERWATER (2020, HBO Max).Perfect visual metaphor of TJ Miller's career.
TERROR IN THE AISLES (1984, YouTube).'Somebody please invent TikTok already! We're bored.'ORNever ask Pleasance to get you popcorn.
The Satanic Rites of Dracula (1973)Lee’s Dracula does accent to fool Cushing.
It’s Alive (1974)They may squirm— gotta cut baby’s nails!
Horror of Dracula (1958)The winner… and still blood-sucking champion!
Brides of Dracula (1960)Peel no Lee— still a grand entertainment
Dracula Prince of Darkness (1966)Four characters in search of a Dracula.
Till Death (2021, Dir. S.K. Dale) Den of Thieves to Gerald's Game's Heat.
The Hand (1981 Dir. Oliver Stone)So Lee Harvey Oswald didn't do it?
I saw The Hand during the last two years. It caught my by surprise in a pleasant way. Michael Caine can play dark very well.
Isle of the Dead (1945)Generals cannot always control life and death.
Pacific Heights (1990)Squatter’s rights personified and cockroaches. Lotta cockroaches.
Muppets Haunted Mansion (2021)Rhyming candelabra with macabre is *chef’s kiss*
SKINNED ALIVE (1990) It’s possible these jokes haven’t aged well.
Nekromantik (1987)The Room if Lisa was a necrophiliac
Color out of Space (2019)Purple haze, all in my Nic Cage
HALLUCINATIONS (1986/1987)We all saw that giant gnome, right?
HALLOWEEN II (1981) Opening theme pumpkin's cool. So there's that.
Fright Night (1985)Vampires were so much cooler in 1980s.
The Creeping Flesh (1973)Like Gremlins, don’t get the skeleton wet!
Dead Silence (2007: DVD)Time for reboot starring Cabbage Patch Kids
Night of the Demons (1988: Shudder)Documents my post prom. Location? Cuba Road.
I, Monster (1971, dir. Stephen Weeks)Christopher Lee and that dope fiend lean
The Last Tsuburaya (2021: Shudder Creepshow S3E3pt1)Art is in the die of beholder
Amityville 1992: It’s About Time (1992)You know Amityville ghosts. Always forcing incest.
Night of the Living Dead (1968)Always check the basement. Evil resides there.
HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH (1982) That's funny, this franchise didn't look Druish.
THE MANOR (2021):Roland wants a bite of Hershey's bar.
NIGHT OF THE DEMONS (1988)I guess she bends that way now...
MUPPETS HAUNTED MANSION (2021)Good Lord do I miss Jim Henson
Child's Play 3 (1991) Cashed early on 90s Military Academy craze.
SEANCE (2021)Wait, is this a You're Next prequel?
The Horror Show aka House III: The Horror Show (1989, dir. James Isaac)Co-written by Alan Smithee. Mark of quality.
Parents (1989)Randy Quaid has never been this normal.
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949)How odd. I don't remember taking LSD.
Muppets Haunted Mansion (2021)Taraji gives 100% for everything she does.
#Like (2019)For once someone doesn't trust Marc Menchaca
Ghost Stories (2017)The writers watched "Stay" too many times.
Werewolves Within (2021) Finger pointing leads to a hairy situation.
Son of Dracula (1943)Count Alucard was played by the Namflow.
SHALLOW GRAVE (1987)DePalma called: he wants his opening back.
Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare [AKA The Edge of Hell] (1987, dir. John Fasano)You'll believe a man can fight puppets.
Escape The Undertaker (2021)Taker’s acting career shall Rest…In…Peaceeee
The Howling IV: The Original NightmareNeeds more Dee Wallace or marsupial births.
House (1977)What’s the cat blood-vomit budget here?
Pontypool (2008):Kill is Kiss. Kill is Kiss. Kill…
Pumpkinhead (1988):Who the Crash Test Dummies sang about?
The Descent (2005):Just can’t convince Mom to watch it.
Hotel Transylvania (2012):An Adam Sandler movie can be scary!
Contracted (2013):Seven word review that doesn’t mention zombie.
Dawn of the Dead (2004):Daryl: “This movie has a great soundtrack!”
The Stepfather (1987)Interesting Lost flashback poignantly explains Locke's character.
Hell Fest (2018)The winner of the strong man is...
The Thing (2011)Mimicking is certainly what The Thing does.
The Final Terror (1983)Joey really straps on his crazy pants.
HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS (1988) Is Michael's hair blonde in some shots?
THE CONVENT (2000)"They fuckin' love virgins. God damn demons."
American Psycho (2000, dir. Mary Harron)Picturing Ed Gein as a maitre d'
The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)That's my secret, officer. I'm always angry
Horror of Dracula (1959)Always drink wine after a blood transfusion
HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS (1989) I like when Johnny Cash rescues Michael.
Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)Most powerful cordless drill known to man
THE MUMMY (1932)Manners mannered mannerisms mar mostly magnificent movie
Bad Candy (2020, dir. Scott B. Hansen & Desiree Connell)Making good anthologies can't be this hard.
TRAPPED ASHES (2006)Remember R-rated horror with violence AND sex?
The Mortuary Collection (2019), Dir: Ryan SpindellMr. Krabs' career took a dark turn.
IntrusionPretty bad but a fine time waster.
Mirror Mirror (1990), Dir: Marina SargentiTeen popularity through dark magic? No surprise.
Trauma (1993)Giallo master conceives this crazy decapitation machine.
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Escape Room Tournament of Champions(2021 Dir, Adam Robitel)Less _n_elligent _eq_el _ouldn't _eep me ent_rtaine_
A_r_e. _ha_ a p_ec_ _f c_ap. 😉😊
Resident Evil (2002)Dir: Paul W.S. AndersonUmbrella Corporation, Raccoon City, zombies…good enough.
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)Dir: Alexander WittJill Valentine? Ok now it’s Resident Evil.
Angel (1984)Dir: Robert Vincent O’NeillDear Evan Hansen has nothing on Angel.
Young Frankenstein (1974) Dir. Mel BrooksUmm it's actually Young Frankenstein's monster actually.
Haxan (1922)Satan knocking on windows is my jam.
Seance (2021)Dir: Simon BarrettThis is why I don’t kill people.
From Hell (2001)So Jack The Ripper was an...asshole?
The Brain (1988)Jim's eyebrows interfere with Brain's mind control.
The Unholy (2021)Cary Elwes' Boston accent should be exorcised.
Raw (2016)Overslept. Running late to the Hannibal Lecture.
Deep Rising (1998)Famke Janssen on jet ski. Doctor’s orders.
Kill Theory (2009, dir. Chris Moore)American Pie producer directs SAW ripoff. Ok.
The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)Who’s competing against the vampires in blood-draining?
The Leopard Man (1943)Ok fine, guess the title fits…. kinda.
Gwen (William McGregor, 2018)Basically, 19th century was a horror show
PARENTS (1989) Is this the missing episode of WandaVision?
The Green Inferno (2013)Slightly less problematic than Cannibal Holocaust, slightly
Nosferatu: A Symphony of Horror (1922)Orlok's only weakness is getting cock blocked
Freaky (2020)Somehow less creepy than current Aaron Rodgers
Bedlam 1946Getting committed, scary easy in Georgian London!
The Crow 1994(Junesploitation Horror Redux / Vigilante Horror)Hands down best 90s soundtrack, fight me!
The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016, dir. André Øvredal)Brian Cox can cut me up anytime
There's Someone in Your House(2021 Dir, PAtrick Bruce)Mathew Lillards Screech scenes sadly cut out
Shakma (1990) (Gene Shalit voice) Shakma will shock ya!Or(Peter Gabriel singing voice) Shak ma monkey!
Basket Case (1982) Dir. Frank HennenlotterWorst fake sleep acting of all time.
An American Werewolf in Paris (1997, Anthony Waller)I remember thinking, "it's fine."...It's not.
The Shining (1980)Scatman Crothers, a truly great horror performance.
Creepshow (1982)Scotch and milk, good for the stomach.
Cursed (2005)Great as background for playing beer pong.
AntlersDir. Scott Cooper 2021No one with kids should watch this.
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