The Blackcoat's Daughter (2015)And she STILL puked in the car!
BEATEN AGAIN! :-( Carrying on...Noomi Rapace in LAMB (2021, theater) for the first time.Story/narrative's coherent, makes sense... unlike "Prometheus'".ORRobert Bresson reincarnated as experimental Swedish director.ORSorry A24. "Hereditary/Midsommar" remain all-time GOATs.
Brian Yuzna's SOCIETY (1989, Blu-ray).Typical Saturday night at Adam Riske's house.
Dracula (2006, dir. Bill Eagles)Same familiar story with a venereal twist.
'STEPHEN KING'S SLOPPY SECONDS' TRIDENT!Edward Furlong in Mary Lambert's PET SEMATARY II (1992, Netflix) for the first time.Clancy Brown? Meet ALL scenery. Now chew!ORLambert forgot Furlong was there until finale.
GRAVEYARD SHIFT (1990, DVD).Still better than working at Amazon Warehouse.
MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE (1986, Vestron Blu-ray).Did cocaine actually improve King's direction? #heroswanted
Dr. Terror's House of Horrors (1965)More of a Train of Horrors really.
The Gift (2000, Dir. Sam Raimi) Tom Cruise jacks it to this movie.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, dir Tobe Hooper, 1974Wonder if Hitchhiker got his Head Cheese
Satan's Children (1975)Is this Dave Mustaine prior to Megadeth?
The Exorcist, dir William Fredkin, 1973I'd go see a movie with KindermanOr Captain Howdy, such green pea little stinker
Evil Dead Trap, 1988, Dir. Toshiharu IkedaSuspiria ripoff? Nope… it’s a Malignant ripoff.
The Hidden, 1987, Dir. Jack SholderIntergalactic police standard issue bunny eared vibrator
[Rec] (2007)Low budget, high tension, found footage goodness.orIn Spanish, no-one can hear you scream.
Hider In The House (1988)Busey can’t hide. Teeth gleaming too bright.
Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996)Follow the rainbow to a bowl'o shit
The Cabinet Of Dr Caligari (1920)Those kooky 1920's Germans. What'll be next?
Kolobos (1999) What if Jigsaw made the Truman show?
The Manor (2021) dir. Axelle CarolynC’mon… They’re halfway out the door anyway.
FRANKENSTEIN (2004) Hollywood, not everything must become a procedural.
Deadly Eyes, 1982, Dir. Robert ClouseIn Mr. Burns' voice: "release the dachshunds"
THE FLY (1986)These machines sure worked better for Kirk
The Visit (2015)Pack your diapers and lose your mind.
THE HAUNTED PALACE (1963)Price’s Burned Alive Scream is on point!
Tusk (2014)Parlez-vous Francais? IT'S A GROSS FUCKING WALRUS!!!!
THE HANDS OF ORLAC (1924)I never trust a doctor's emergency handjob.
ALTER EGO (2002) Just wait until these characters discover Instagram.
Blade II (2002)He should’ve blown up Ron Perlman’s head.
Prince of Darkness (1987, dir. John Carpenter)The possessed approach mirrors exactly like dogs
Underwater (2020)Wow! Surpassed all expectation! Descent underwater rules!
Malignant (2021)I predict super uncomfortable National Siblings Day.
Night of the Demons (1988)I bet stuff like this actually happens
House on Haunted Hill(1959) Vincent Price is the voice of Halloween
The Love Witch (2016)Police vehicle budget line must be huge.
MONSTER ON THE CAMPUS (1958) Who’s that coelacanth I saw you with?
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) Dir. Tobe HooperLeatherface has had enough of Franklin too.
The Innkeepers (2011)I need more Ti West horror movies
Pumpkinhead (1988)Farmer looks like alcoholic stepdad Harrison Ford.
The Night Eats The World(2018) Alfred the elevator zombie= Apocalypse Dr Phil
HOWL OF THE DEVIL (1988)Beware Naschy's elaborate, costumed surprise sex chamber.
THE LAST RESORT (2008) The dingiest motel. What’s next, square pizza?
Body Snatchers (1993) A Ferrara Horror Story: Meg Tilly’s Wig
Trick r’ Treat (2007)Like the whole better than the parts
Lamb (2021)Cute lamb baby, not a horror movie
JACOB’S LADDER (1990):Everyone in this movie needs a haircut.
Annihilation (2018)What is me might also be you.
Jaws (1975)So much comfort packed into a movie.
Rottweiler (2004, dir. Brian Yuzna)Observer effect: dog becomes animatronic in close-up.
HALLOWEEN (2018):Why didn’t these podcasters interview Guy Lapointe?
DEADLY FRIEND (1986)BB,BB,BB,BB,BB,BB,BB
The Last House on the Left (1972)Two tough cops on a dangerous mission.
One Missed Call (2003)Ooohhhh at least you get some candy!
We Summon the Darkness (2019)Remember when satanist were the scary people?
Satanic Panic (2019)Rebecca absolutely just Jerry rigged that entree.
Malignant (2021)Oh damn he really rung that Bell.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS (1987)Wish I could jump into other's dreams.
MAHAKAAL (1994)Indian Freddy Krueger with Bollywood dance numbers
Muppet Haunted Mansion (2021)I FELT this was fun (get it?)
Dracula (1931) NEW 4K BlU-RAYChildren of the night... never looked better.
Frankenstein (1931) NEW 4K BLU-RAYRestoration so clear; Frankenstein's motivation MORE obvious.
Invisible Man (1933) NEW 4K BLU-RAYNow you don't see him... more clearly
The Wolf Man (1941) NEW 4K BLU-RAYTransfer proves Rains can't be Chaney's dad.
Midnight Mass (2021)Holy... Holy Shit... just... Wow... Holy Shit!
John Carpenter’ s Pro Life (Masters of Horror)Definitely time to revisit the Texas abortion ban
Dracula's Daughter (1936)My dad could kill your dad. Literally.
Teen Wolf (1985)"Hi!""Hello.""I'm Boof!""Sorry?""Boof!"*leaves*
FRANCESCA (2015)Red leather, red herrings; form with function?
The Black Cat (1934, dir. Edgar G. Ulmer)Lugosi meets Karloff. Boom goes the dynamite!
Night of the Creeps (1986), Dir: Fred DekkerThis campus really needed a mask mandate.
The Lamp (aka The Outing) (Tom Daley, 1987)This genie got rubbed the WRONG way
THe Grudge (2004, dir. Takashi Shimizu)I'll take any Pullman I can get
SILK (2006)Seeing ghosts with anti-gravity; newest paranormal trend.
Society (1989)More sensible than most Q-anon conspiracy theories
Hell Fest (2018)Why pay actors, put guests in guillotine
V/H/S/94 (2021)And the rat monster spits acid because....?
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sleepwalkers (1992)What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?
MadresUnmemorable but "fine". It's a forgetful film.
Re-Kill 2012Wished we had gotten zombie Scott Adkins
Kwaidan 1965 Too much movie for just one review! The Black Hair Wouldn't have opted for black teeth lady! The Woman of the Snow Skies by talented* 11th grade art class! Hoichi the Earless Plays like Japanese style old sea shanty. In a Cup of Tea 🎵 Reflections of the way life used to be 🎶
HALLOWEEN (1978) Carpenter. Curtis. Pleasence. You gotta love it!
I can only think of the moustachioed guy in the first scene if Highlander screaming into Connor Macleod's ear about how he's "gotta love" all that pro wrestling carnage in the ring.
The Thing (2011)I'll take practical effects over CGI anytime!
Friday the 13th Part 2Exxon: Proud sponsors of Camp Crystal Lake
WINCHESTER (2018)Bruce Spence, Angus Sampson: WINCHESTER fails you.
The Fly (1986)Geena Davis’ flesh made him crazy. Relatable.
Final Destination 5Deepfake Tom Cruise is apparently not new
The Exorcist (1973)What an excellent day for a drive-in
Beyond the Door aka The Devil within HerI hope my kids talk that way
TitaneYou had me at "woman fucks car"
Muppets Haunted Mansion (Kirk R. Thatcher, 2021)Muppets make more memorable, mirthful Mansion movie
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) Dir. Marcus NispelClimaxes with tense, manic wet t-shirt contest.
Piercing (2019, dir. Nicolas Pesce)The real horror? Pesce born in 1990
THIR13EN GHOSTS (2001)They should've called this movie Sliding Doors.
Spider Baby or, the Maddest Story Ever Told (1967)Eatin bugs, givin hugs. Wrapped tight, Dynamite
Cat People (1942)Who cat? You cat? Werecat? There cat!
When A Stanger Calls, dir Fred Walton, 1979Also when a stranger sneaks into bed
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974 dir, Tobe Hooper)Biggest mistake? Letting Franklin back in vanor No really. why did you bring him?
Good MannersDirs. Marco Dutra and Juliana Rojas 2017Just your everyday Brazilian lesbian werewolf movie
Halloween Party (2019, Dir Jay Dahl)Ideas exceed budget, talent. Still worth watching.orNot female but Vagina spiders sound terrifying
Chopping MallDude, switch that M16 to automatic!
Day of the Dead (1985) - first time watchNo military man would have that haircut.
The Unborn (2009)Maybe Goyer best to stick with writing
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread. Thank you for your cooperation.
The Blackcoat's Daughter (2015)
ReplyDeleteAnd she STILL puked in the car!
BEATEN AGAIN! :-( Carrying on...
ReplyDeleteNoomi Rapace in LAMB (2021, theater) for the first time.
Story/narrative's coherent, makes sense... unlike "Prometheus'".
OR
Robert Bresson reincarnated as experimental Swedish director.
OR
Sorry A24. "Hereditary/Midsommar" remain all-time GOATs.
Brian Yuzna's SOCIETY (1989, Blu-ray).
ReplyDeleteTypical Saturday night at Adam Riske's house.
Dracula (2006, dir. Bill Eagles)
ReplyDeleteSame familiar story with a venereal twist.
'STEPHEN KING'S SLOPPY SECONDS' TRIDENT!
ReplyDeleteEdward Furlong in Mary Lambert's PET SEMATARY II (1992, Netflix) for the first time.
Clancy Brown? Meet ALL scenery. Now chew!
OR
Lambert forgot Furlong was there until finale.
GRAVEYARD SHIFT (1990, DVD).
ReplyDeleteStill better than working at Amazon Warehouse.
MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE (1986, Vestron Blu-ray).
ReplyDeleteDid cocaine actually improve King's direction? #heroswanted
Dr. Terror's House of Horrors (1965)
ReplyDeleteMore of a Train of Horrors really.
The Gift (2000, Dir. Sam Raimi)
ReplyDeleteTom Cruise jacks it to this movie.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, dir Tobe Hooper, 1974
ReplyDeleteWonder if Hitchhiker got his Head Cheese
Satan's Children (1975)
ReplyDeleteIs this Dave Mustaine prior to Megadeth?
The Exorcist, dir William Fredkin, 1973
ReplyDeleteI'd go see a movie with Kinderman
Or
Captain Howdy, such green pea little stinker
Evil Dead Trap, 1988, Dir. Toshiharu Ikeda
ReplyDeleteSuspiria ripoff? Nope… it’s a Malignant ripoff.
The Hidden, 1987, Dir. Jack Sholder
ReplyDeleteIntergalactic police standard issue bunny eared vibrator
[Rec] (2007)
ReplyDeleteLow budget, high tension, found footage goodness.
or
In Spanish, no-one can hear you scream.
Hider In The House (1988)
ReplyDeleteBusey can’t hide. Teeth gleaming too bright.
Leprechaun 4: In Space (1996)
ReplyDeleteFollow the rainbow to a bowl'o shit
The Cabinet Of Dr Caligari (1920)
ReplyDeleteThose kooky 1920's Germans. What'll be next?
Kolobos (1999)
ReplyDeleteWhat if Jigsaw made the Truman show?
The Manor (2021) dir. Axelle Carolyn
ReplyDeleteC’mon… They’re halfway out the door anyway.
FRANKENSTEIN (2004)
ReplyDeleteHollywood, not everything must become a procedural.
Deadly Eyes, 1982, Dir. Robert Clouse
ReplyDeleteIn Mr. Burns' voice: "release the dachshunds"
THE FLY (1986)
ReplyDeleteThese machines sure worked better for Kirk
The Visit (2015)
ReplyDeletePack your diapers and lose your mind.
THE HAUNTED PALACE (1963)
ReplyDeletePrice’s Burned Alive Scream is on point!
Tusk (2014)
ReplyDeleteParlez-vous Francais? IT'S A GROSS FUCKING WALRUS!!!!
THE HANDS OF ORLAC (1924)
ReplyDeleteI never trust a doctor's emergency handjob.
ALTER EGO (2002)
ReplyDeleteJust wait until these characters discover Instagram.
Blade II (2002)
ReplyDeleteHe should’ve blown up Ron Perlman’s head.
Prince of Darkness (1987, dir. John Carpenter)
ReplyDeleteThe possessed approach mirrors exactly like dogs
Underwater (2020)
ReplyDeleteWow! Surpassed all expectation! Descent underwater rules!
Malignant (2021)
ReplyDeleteI predict super uncomfortable National Siblings Day.
Night of the Demons (1988)
ReplyDeleteI bet stuff like this actually happens
House on Haunted Hill(1959) Vincent Price is the voice of Halloween
ReplyDeleteThe Love Witch (2016)
ReplyDeletePolice vehicle budget line must be huge.
MONSTER ON THE CAMPUS (1958)
ReplyDeleteWho’s that coelacanth I saw you with?
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) Dir. Tobe Hooper
ReplyDeleteLeatherface has had enough of Franklin too.
The Innkeepers (2011)
ReplyDeleteI need more Ti West horror movies
Pumpkinhead (1988)
ReplyDeleteFarmer looks like alcoholic stepdad Harrison Ford.
The Night Eats The World(2018) Alfred the elevator zombie= Apocalypse Dr Phil
ReplyDeleteHOWL OF THE DEVIL (1988)
ReplyDeleteBeware Naschy's elaborate, costumed surprise sex chamber.
THE LAST RESORT (2008)
ReplyDeleteThe dingiest motel. What’s next, square pizza?
Body Snatchers (1993)
ReplyDeleteA Ferrara Horror Story: Meg Tilly’s Wig
Trick r’ Treat (2007)
ReplyDeleteLike the whole better than the parts
Lamb (2021)
ReplyDeleteCute lamb baby, not a horror movie
JACOB’S LADDER (1990):
ReplyDeleteEveryone in this movie needs a haircut.
Annihilation (2018)
ReplyDeleteWhat is me might also be you.
Jaws (1975)
ReplyDeleteSo much comfort packed into a movie.
Rottweiler (2004, dir. Brian Yuzna)
ReplyDeleteObserver effect: dog becomes animatronic in close-up.
HALLOWEEN (2018):
ReplyDeleteWhy didn’t these podcasters interview Guy Lapointe?
DEADLY FRIEND (1986)
ReplyDeleteBB,BB,BB,BB,BB,BB,BB
The Last House on the Left (1972)
ReplyDeleteTwo tough cops on a dangerous mission.
One Missed Call (2003)
ReplyDeleteOoohhhh at least you get some candy!
We Summon the Darkness (2019)
ReplyDeleteRemember when satanist were the scary people?
Satanic Panic (2019)
ReplyDeleteRebecca absolutely just Jerry rigged that entree.
Malignant (2021)
ReplyDeleteOh damn he really rung that Bell.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS (1987)
ReplyDeleteWish I could jump into other's dreams.
MAHAKAAL (1994)
ReplyDeleteIndian Freddy Krueger with Bollywood dance numbers
Muppet Haunted Mansion (2021)
ReplyDeleteI FELT this was fun (get it?)
Dracula (1931) NEW 4K BlU-RAY
ReplyDeleteChildren of the night... never looked better.
Frankenstein (1931) NEW 4K BLU-RAY
ReplyDeleteRestoration so clear; Frankenstein's motivation MORE obvious.
Invisible Man (1933) NEW 4K BLU-RAY
ReplyDeleteNow you don't see him... more clearly
The Wolf Man (1941) NEW 4K BLU-RAY
ReplyDeleteTransfer proves Rains can't be Chaney's dad.
Midnight Mass (2021)
ReplyDeleteHoly... Holy Shit... just... Wow... Holy Shit!
John Carpenter’ s Pro Life (Masters of Horror)
ReplyDeleteDefinitely time to revisit the Texas abortion ban
Dracula's Daughter (1936)
ReplyDeleteMy dad could kill your dad. Literally.
Teen Wolf (1985)
ReplyDelete"Hi!"
"Hello."
"I'm Boof!"
"Sorry?"
"Boof!"
*leaves*
FRANCESCA (2015)
ReplyDeleteRed leather, red herrings; form with function?
The Black Cat (1934, dir. Edgar G. Ulmer)
ReplyDeleteLugosi meets Karloff. Boom goes the dynamite!
Night of the Creeps (1986), Dir: Fred Dekker
ReplyDeleteThis campus really needed a mask mandate.
The Lamp (aka The Outing) (Tom Daley, 1987)
ReplyDeleteThis genie got rubbed the WRONG way
THe Grudge (2004, dir. Takashi Shimizu)
ReplyDeleteI'll take any Pullman I can get
SILK (2006)
ReplyDeleteSeeing ghosts with anti-gravity; newest paranormal trend.
Society (1989)
ReplyDeleteMore sensible than most Q-anon conspiracy theories
Hell Fest (2018)
ReplyDeleteWhy pay actors, put guests in guillotine
V/H/S/94 (2021)
ReplyDeleteAnd the rat monster spits acid because....?
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSleepwalkers (1992)
ReplyDeleteWhat's the matter? Cat got your tongue?
Madres
ReplyDeleteUnmemorable but "fine". It's a forgetful film.
Re-Kill 2012
ReplyDeleteWished we had gotten zombie Scott Adkins
Kwaidan 1965
ReplyDeleteToo much movie for just one review!
The Black Hair
Wouldn't have opted for black teeth lady!
The Woman of the Snow
Skies by talented* 11th grade art class!
Hoichi the Earless
Plays like Japanese style old sea shanty.
In a Cup of Tea
🎵 Reflections of the way life used to be 🎶
HALLOWEEN (1978)
ReplyDeleteCarpenter. Curtis. Pleasence. You gotta love it!
I can only think of the moustachioed guy in the first scene if Highlander screaming into Connor Macleod's ear about how he's "gotta love" all that pro wrestling carnage in the ring.
DeleteThe Thing (2011)
ReplyDeleteI'll take practical effects over CGI anytime!
Friday the 13th Part 2
ReplyDeleteExxon: Proud sponsors of Camp Crystal Lake
WINCHESTER (2018)
ReplyDeleteBruce Spence, Angus Sampson: WINCHESTER fails you.
The Fly (1986)
ReplyDeleteGeena Davis’ flesh made him crazy. Relatable.
Final Destination 5
ReplyDeleteDeepfake Tom Cruise is apparently not new
The Exorcist (1973)
ReplyDeleteWhat an excellent day for a drive-in
Beyond the Door aka The Devil within Her
ReplyDeleteI hope my kids talk that way
Titane
ReplyDeleteYou had me at "woman fucks car"
Muppets Haunted Mansion (Kirk R. Thatcher, 2021)
ReplyDeleteMuppets make more memorable, mirthful Mansion movie
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) Dir. Marcus Nispel
ReplyDeleteClimaxes with tense, manic wet t-shirt contest.
Piercing (2019, dir. Nicolas Pesce)
ReplyDeleteThe real horror? Pesce born in 1990
THIR13EN GHOSTS (2001)
ReplyDeleteThey should've called this movie Sliding Doors.
Spider Baby or, the Maddest Story Ever Told (1967)
ReplyDeleteEatin bugs, givin hugs. Wrapped tight, Dynamite
Cat People (1942)
ReplyDeleteWho cat? You cat? Werecat? There cat!
When A Stanger Calls, dir Fred Walton, 1979
ReplyDeleteAlso when a stranger sneaks into bed
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974 dir, Tobe Hooper)
ReplyDeleteBiggest mistake? Letting Franklin back in van
or
No really. why did you bring him?
Good Manners
ReplyDeleteDirs. Marco Dutra and Juliana Rojas 2017
Just your everyday Brazilian lesbian werewolf movie
Halloween Party (2019, Dir Jay Dahl)
ReplyDeleteIdeas exceed budget, talent. Still worth watching.
or
Not female but Vagina spiders sound terrifying
Chopping Mall
ReplyDeleteDude, switch that M16 to automatic!
Day of the Dead (1985) - first time watch
ReplyDeleteNo military man would have that haircut.
The Unborn (2009)
ReplyDeleteMaybe Goyer best to stick with writing
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread. Thank you for your cooperation.
ReplyDelete