'MARIO BAVA'S KID MAKES MAN' TWO-FER!Lamberto Bava's DEMONS (1985, Synapse 4K UHD Blu-ray). First time seeing movie in 4K.Tony the pimp earns poster's main spot.ORChekhov's fiery-red motorcycle with samurai sword? Check.
Lamberto Bava's DEMONS 2 (1986, Synapse 4K UHD Blu-ray). First time seeing movie in 4K.Sally's inner demons scarier than uninvited "Videodrome(s)."ORRoided-out German bodybuilders versus Demons? Verdammt richtig!
Bernard Rose's CANDYMAN: UNRATED DIRECTOR'S CUT (1992/2018, Shout! Factory Blu-ray) for the first time.Problematic ending notwithstanding, a modern horror classic.ORLike Candyman, Trevor's also robbing a cradle.
Danishka Esterhazy's SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE (2021, SyFy Channel) for the first time.Made in South Africa, and it shows.ORNot "Psycho '98"-level bad, but awfully close.
Nosferatu (1922 - F.W. Murnau)"Don't go further!" Postman is a daredevil.
Nosferatu (2011 - Wes Craven)STAB 7? Numeric sequels are so 80s.OR90s STAB: Still STABbing or STAB forever.OR00s STAB: STABbening or STAB 8 Retribution. OR10s STAB: The STAB or STAB reboot. OR20s STAB: STAB 2, ignoring any sequels.
That was beautiful!
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Oh - I just realized that I copy/pasted the wrong title... Scream 4 is the movie I'm writing about, not Nosferatu.
The Omen (1976) dir. Richard DonnerDon’t Not Tell Damien the Babysitter’s Dead.
No One Gets Out Alive (2021) Directed by Santiago MeghiniWhat’s in the boxxxxx? Moth Vagina Monster. Said like Brad Pitt in Seven of ofcourse.
The Hills Have Eyes (2006, Dir. Alexandre Aja) Hillfolk sure do love a Big Bobecue.
Hannibal (2001, dir. Ridley Scott)Good taste in cocktail dresses. Nothing else.
Driller Killer with commentary track by Abel Just imagine if Xtro commentary used Abel?
Prom Night (1980)What's your school's name, man? Alexander Hamilton!
LEGEND OF THE SEVEN GOLDEN VAMPIRES (1974)Song suggestion....🎶Ev’rybody was Kung Fu Bi-ting...🎶
Lisa (1989, dir. Gary Sherman)Mom's forehead necessary in any killer's arsenal
Halloween II (1981, dir. Rick Rosenthal)Ben Tramer spent 10/30 bleaching his wig
Halloween Kills (2021)At least Will Patton looked fairly comfortable.
Halloween Kills (2021)Evil brings knife to gunfight and wins
SATAN'S LITTLE HELPER (2004)So, COULD god come as a TrickOrTreater?or"See what you get for disobeying Satan?"
RATS: NIGHT OF TERROR (1983) What if this rat's also named Muad'Dib?
Martyrs (2008)Thanks, TubiTV. I needed intermittent Skippy commercials.
Ghosts Of Mars (2001)Got ghosts on Mars, fuck you want?OrThink I'm being possessed by grumpy Carpenter
THE BRIDES OF DRACULA (1960)What trumps mother's love? Mother's blood.
Angel Heart (1987)That corpse is gonna ruin ‘da Gumbo.
The People Under the Stairs (1991)Gimp suits always problematic for Ving Rhames.
Let the Right One In (2008)Stockholm's parks have great lighting for exsanguination.
MARS NEEDS WOMEN (1968) Finally, a movie that's 100% scientifically accurate.
The Invisible Man (2020)Over/under on tying himself up needlessly?
Girls with Balls (2018)Would have been awkward renting at Blockbuster.
The Batman vs Dracula (Michael Goguen, 2005)More fun crossovers and spooky cartoons, please
25. I onde dager (The Trip) (2021)Well hiking in Norway… Off the table!
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)Oscar winning game of Hyde and eek!
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. HydeOscar winning game of Hyde and eek!
The House of the Devil (1896) dir. Georges MeliesNo boobs? Worst first horror movie ever!
Halloween 4Adam's driving lessons came in useful here
WE ARE STILL HERE (2015)Charred corpse-ghosts really lower property values.
Annabelle Comes Home (2019, dir. Gary Dauberman)Movie argues to never unbox your toys.
Night of the Living Dead (1968)Still better than most newer zombie movies.
Night Visions (1990, dir. Wes Craven)Boom mic's role more than a cameo.
THE INCREDIBLE MELTING MAN (1977) Aren't we all melting, on the inside?
Crimson Peak (2015)Jessica Chastain. That's it. That's the tweet.
The Last Man On Earth (Ubaldo Rogona, Sidney Salkow, 1964)There were lots of men in this
BAD MUTILATOR (1984) Mutilate people, but not the Volkswagon Bug!
The Frighteners (1996) CGI holding up worse than The Judge.
NECROPHOBIA (1995) Show gore, then wake up screaming. Repeat.
THE COLLINGSWOOD STORY (2002)yeah, they do rituals in the attic...
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (David DeCoteau, 1988)Rated R for TIT: Terrifying Imp Teeth
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)Gas station fried chicken's finger lickin' good.
GORE-MET: ZOMBIE CHEF FROM HELL (1986) I'd say he's ahead by a foot.
The Stylist (2020)So just a little off the top?
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)Sherri Moon's laugh is intoxicating. Would die.
The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (2009, dir. Rob Zombie)Zombie cartoon is also his horniest movie.
Prime Evil (1988, dir. Roberta Findlay)Less trustworthy priest than Midnight Mass guy.
Halloween 2 2009Michael forgot he had learned to drive
Sleepy Hollow (1999):Average flintlock musket reload time: 30 seconds.
Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995):I'd betray everyone for Billy Zane's smile.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)These home additions won't increase your equity.
The Thing (1982):Is Kurt Russell with a beard unstoppable?
30 Days of Night (2007):Foster = Nic Cage + Crispin Glover???
The Invisible Man (1933):"I did this for you" is crap.
The Thing (2011):Research equipment checklist: pen, paper, microscope, flamethrower.
The Cave (2005)Walking off like Keyser Soze, BALLER move!
Nightmare On Elm Street (1984)The 'While You Were Sleeping' of horrororThis Krueger guy, he's kinda a jerkorControversial opinion...don't kill women on ceilingsorI'd eat free of those dang cakestairsorWish John Saxon was my daft dadorHeather should start a sfx summer Langenkamp
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982, dir. Amy Holden Jones)I am also totally eating that pizza
New Year, New You (2018, dir. Sophia Takal)We do all have that one friend
The Initiation 1984Mirrors, not penises were the biggest Clu!
Urban Legend (1998)My sister’s neighbor’s mailman’s uncle loved it.
Pet Semetary(1989) Jud lacks Semetary discretion, proves Achilles Heel.
"The Last House on the Left" (1972) by Wes CravenGuess who's coming to dinner? The killers!
The Gate (1987)This is why I don't do yardwork.
Slugs (1988)Man, I love this director to Pieces.
Rawhead Rex (1986)Sorta like Pumpkinhead without Stan Winston's contributions.
Chopping Mall (1986)Roughly half of this title is inaccurate.
Night Teeth (2021)Least the driver got a couple tips.
Hell House LLC (2015)In the end she didn't want 2C.
MR. BOOGEDY (1986) Practical jokester dad is the real monster.
Possum (2018)I still think Australian spiders are scarier
The Ring (2002)Seven days....also, be kind and rewind
Bride of Re-Animator (1990)Herbert West seems like a terrible roommate.
Waxwork 2 Lost in Time, dir Anthony Hickox, 1992Bruce prefers his ribs fleshed and rare
The Ring (2002)Great fucking seven word review Eric WoodorAlss well that ends...take it back!!!
Trick ‘r Treat (2008)More rules than a friggin’ Jigsaw trap.
TITANE (2021):This movie is super chill and normal.
Peeping Tom (1960)2021 Reboot: He stalks your social media.
The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)Slicked back hair equals always not crazy.
Nosferatu (1922)Cant wait for sequel, NosferaTWO: Electric Boogaloo
Scream 4 (2011)I’ll take a *stab* at a review
Leviathan (1989) Dir. George P. Cosmatos Doc more impress by Rambo than monster.
Scream (1996)Ugh just break up with her, Billy
Angel Heart (1987)Aye, nice to meet ya Louie-cifer.
Salem’s Lot (1979) More like Salem’s NOT am I right?
The Wolf Man (1941)"Even an obviously adopted man who says..."
Son of Dracula, dir Curt Siodmak, 1943Dracula loves Catherine and Catherone loves AlucardOrDracula wants a strong real estate portfolio
Halloween (2018)Dad wishes he’s dad from Psycho Goreman.
The Wasp Woman 1959Always check hospitals last for missing persons
The Haunting 1963Lusting after Bond finally got to Moneypenny
TITANE (2021)Finally a wet dream for Turbo Teen.
Crimson Peak 2015Well...after all no one lives forever
FACES OF DEATH (1978) People used to think this was real?
Halloween II (1981)Highlight: Bud’s moving rendition of “Amazing Grace”.
The Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)Needs more driller killer, less driller filler
Scream (1996)Jamie Kennedy is film twitter come alive.
Mad Love (1935)When Peter Lorre crushes, he crushes HARD.
Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)"Criminally underrated masterpiece!" - Someone on Twitter probably.
Christine (1983)This driverless car thing's gone too far.
The Final Girls(2015, Dir: Todd Strauss-Schulson)Funny, sweet but scareless ode to slashersorThe Adderall dance is worth the admission
Trick r Treat (2008)Dylan Baker finally receives his just desserts.
Funsize(2012 Dir: Josh Schwartz)I wonder if Captain Chicken saw Titane
Better Spidey dance scene than part 3
Don’t Go in the House (1979) dir. Joseph EllisonBeer buddy Bob needs a spin-off series.
Impetigore (2019) Dir. Joko AnwarDon't pay it back, Flay It Forward.
Beetlejuice (1988)Delia and Otho birth HGTV? Property Mother!
Massacre at Central High (1976)A pretty good case for parental supervision.
Carrie (1976)Edie McClurg ran so Barb could walk.
Don’t Go in the Woods (1981) dir. James BryanMutilated the killer? You’re free to go.
Road Games 1981 (Junesploitation Horror Redux, car horror)A slasher where Jamie Lee doesn't scream.
Dead Alive (1992)Honestly you make a really nice lamp!
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