Old (2021)I'm confused. Is this the transatlantic accent?
BEATEN! :'( Oh well...'THE RANDOM "THE _____" SEXTOLOGY!'Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee in Terence Fisher's THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1957, HBO Max) for the first time.Victor's extreme version of 2021 Texas abortion.ORPoster child for 'Kill it with fire!'
Don Jones' THE FOREST (1982, Blu-ray). It's also on YouTube.Pouting "ghost dad" butchers childless couples. #ilovethe80s
"Stranger Things'" Finn Wolfhard in Floria Sigismondi's THE TURNING (2020, Showtime) for the first time.Rich brats drive live-in teacher underwater... again!ORWaste of otherwise killer Dolby 7.1 soundtrack.
THE RESORT (2021, HULU) for the first time.Millennials' half-off Hawaiian outing turns "VVitch"-ed. Good.ORMakes "Blumhouse's Fantasy Island" look like "Casablanca."
John Carpenter's THE THING (1982, HD-DVD).Something will survive inside McReady's bushy beard.ORImagine Rob Bottin's annual psychiatrist/therapy bills.
THE THING (2011, Amazon Prime).Remeber when Joel Edgerton was in EVERYTHING?ORBest fan film ever made. Thanks, Universal.
Curtains (1983)Actors behaving badly? Only in Ontario, Canada!
Werewolf Woman (1976) - On Plex with ads*checks Rino Di Silvestro's filmography*"Oooooh, ok."
Inside (2007, Dirs. Alexandre Bustillo & Julien Maury) Bo Burnham comedy special has difficult birth.
🤣🤣
Don’t Breath 2 (2021)Meth Chefs secret ingredient? It's Your Daughter! orThey were told several times. DON’T BREATH!
THE CHANGELING (1980)Who knew wheelchairs could be so menacing.OrA lesson in doing research before renting.
Mr. Vampire, dir Ricky Lau, 1985You will have a hopping good time
Verotika (2019)(w/commentary)You could say "the hills have eyes"
Bloody Pit of Horror (Il boia scarlatto) (1965, dir. Massimo Pupillo)Shares title with GWAR album. Instant cred.
CHRISTINE (1983) Imagine if Christine was Miss Daisy’s car.
I NEED to see that movie!!
Imagine there is a car. Great movie.
Annabelle Comes Home (2019) And she brought all her friends too
Day of the Dead (1985)Bub the gun-toting zombie steals the show.
End of Days (1999)Arnold Schwarzenegger fights the devil, nuff said.
Pieces (Mil gritos tiene la noche) (1982, dir. Juan Piquer Simón) (with F This Movie!'s commentary from 2016)2016 feels such a long time ago.
That was 5 years ago? Jfc...definitely feels like a long time. I wonder if he'll use the extra time to finish his puzzle. Only a few more PIECES!
PSYCHO II (1983)Toasted Cheese Sandwiches...fragrance by Calvin Klein
RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (1985)Soundtrack is as killer as the zombies
Dementia 13 (1963)New director’s cut with Coppola commentaryLuana too beautiful to be evil, right?
Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021)Great use of the movie’s one “fuck”
Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter (2012)When does he say 'Party on Dudes'?
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)Chekhov’s totally innocent basement of cult artefacts
Pieces (1982, Juan Piquer Simón)Ok, that was good. Groin-grabbingly good!orMost offensive "Asian" dialog since Mr. Yunioshi
Bad Moon (1996)If he says “sis” one more time…
The Witch (2015)Entire family screws up, blames teenage girl.
Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972, dir. Alan Gibson)Think I'm just happy to be done.
A clue? :)
Ghostbusters (1984) Dir. Ivan ReitmanEvil Sumerian architecture is against AIA now.
Maniac Cop (1988)So that's why nobody talks about it
Death Ship (1980)"A Titanic disaster of horror!" -Gene Shalit.
Halloween (2018)Lessons for podcasters, never leave the studio!
Wishmaster (1997)Wishing triple bill: Wish Upon, Wishmaster, Kazaam.
Creepshow (1982)Oh Steven King George Romero, you lunkheads!
Planet Terror (2007) Dir. Robert Rodriguez Tarantino really channeling his inner Harvey Weinstein.
THINGS (1995) Realistic depiction of LA life, I’m assuming.
Yoga Hosers (2016, dir. Kevin Smith)Luca Bratzi sleeps with the Sauerkraut eh
Angel Heart (1987)I love the Special Appearance By credit
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dance of the Dead(2008, Dir: Gregg Bishop)Sad Kids died. Bright side! No student loans.or"worst prom ever!" my date was wrong.
My Bloody Valentine (1981)Not terribly convincing middle aged high schoolers.
Jakob's Wife (2021, dir. Travis Stevens)The Preacher's Wife 2: Crampton Comes Alive
Predator (1987) Dir. John McTiernanHow'd Hawkins get assigned to Beefcake Battalion?
PROGENY (1998) Here’s why Yuzna never directed an X-Files.
Insidious: The Last Key (2018, dir Adam Robitel)Answers burning questions about Leigh Whannell's outfits.
Nosferatu (Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens) (1922, dir. F.W. Murnau)Amazing makeup! Willem Dafoe is totally unrecognizable.
🤣🤩
Joy Ride (2001) Dir. John DahlThis is Charlotte, she's a plot device.
Brain Damage (1988)So that's what acid trips are like
False Positive (2021)Brosnan's sequel to Mama Mia! - Papa Pia!
Lisa and the Devil (1973) Clearly the inspiration for Weekend at Bernie's.
PETER BENCHLEY’S CREATURE (1998) Because he’s the Jaws guy. Get it?
No One Gets Out Alive (2021), Dir: Santiago MenghiniAmenities include Utilities, Washer/Dryer, Aztec Sacrifices.
Psycho IV: The Beginning One of the most underrated horror franchises.
Session 9 (2001)Still accessable without seeing 1 thru 8
Xtro 2 The Second EncounterYou engaged duel tangents. What'd you expect.
Scanners. 1981. David Cronenberg2021: read peoples’ minds, own head explodes.
Hell Fest (2018)It's fine. Better when Tobe made it
Wrong Turn (2003) Like Texas Chainsaw with no Dr Pepper.
Phantasm (1979)Always feels like a nice warm hug.
Halloween (2007)Like Halloween, but more fucking shouting! Shit!
Halloween II (2009)Are Haddonfield TVs in a Frequency situation?
Malignant (2021) dir. James WanNo way seven words can cover it
V/H/S/94(re: veggie masher commercial) Nobody had that kitchen backsplash in '94
MUPPET HAUNTED MANSION (2021) Well, OF COURSE I'm gonna watch this.
DeepStar Six (1989, dir. Sean S. Cunningham)80 minutes of Miguel Ferrer fucking up
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)Mooney should have used double secret popcorn.
Seed of Chucky (2004)A child's quest to conquer bladder control.
Curse of Chucky (2013)Personally, I like my chili with rice.
Cult of Chucky (2017)1 Chuck 2 Chuck 3 Chuck GORE!
Return of the Fly (1959)Fuck yeah, kick ass sequel! ...Shit Damn!
Ravenous (1999) Dir. Antonia BirdThis is what people did before Netflix.
House on Haunted Hill (1999)The Prices seem like a fun couple.
Still/Born (2017)Wow! Having a newborn is hard work!
The Return of the Living Dead (1985)Better nickname: Suicide or Trash? Tough choice.
I Am Lisa (2020)Walking Tall, with pointy Gen Z teeth!
The Djinn (2021, dirs. David Charbonier & Justin Powell)I'm wishin' for my 90 minutes back!
HALLOWEEN (2007)Always tickled by McDowell's snow monkey look.
Resident Evil: AfterlifeNever ever ever ever trust Kim Coates.
The Silence of the Lamb (1991) Dir. Jonathan DemmeThought this was about the male gays....
COUNTESS DRACULA (1971) Somebody at Hammer Studios really loved bodices.
THIRTEEN GHOSTS (1960) Watched with Illusion-o viewerGimmick worked harder than script...but fun!
Crawl (2019)Dr. and Barry are my favorite Peppers.
Night School (1981) Dir. Ken HughesBrad Fiedel irons out his chase music.
Return of the Living Dead (1985) - "Living Dead" are metaphor for brain-eating zombies?
There's Someone Inside Your House (2021, dir. Patrick Brice)More Shawn Levy than James Wan unfortunately
Dread (2009, dir. Anthony DiBlasi)Clive Barker without the kinky Clive Barkerness.
Alien (1979)Three, I counted three cat jump scares
Aliens (1986)Never realized alien queen used the elevator
The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)Completely distracted by Jim Cummings' vampire fangs
The Burning (1981)Worth it for George Costanza's bare ass
There's Someone Inside Your House (2021) Best featured cornfield since Freddy vs. Jason
Near Dark (1987)So many space marines it's addressed on-screen
Cameron's Closet (1988)Step-parenting has really gone out the window
Malignant (James Wan, 2021)Arnold voice: It's not a parasitic twin!
Def by Temptation 1990Hoped undead Sam Jackson came back to whoop
Abby 197410 times more fun than the Exorcist!(Junesploitation Horror Redux/Blaxploitation Horror)
The Eyes of My Mother 2016I will not have what she's having!
Jason Lives! Friday the 13th: Part VI (1986) Dir. Tom McLoughlinKid in Chargers shirt has bleak future.
Malignant (2021)Belial's arc on General Hospital was intense
Resident Evil: RetributionHours later and I am still giddy.
The Devils Rejects (2005)Zombie says there's no glory in carnage.
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread. Thank you for your cooperation.
Old (2021)
ReplyDeleteI'm confused. Is this the transatlantic accent?
BEATEN! :'( Oh well...
ReplyDelete'THE RANDOM "THE _____" SEXTOLOGY!'
Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee in Terence Fisher's THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1957, HBO Max) for the first time.
Victor's extreme version of 2021 Texas abortion.
OR
Poster child for 'Kill it with fire!'
Don Jones' THE FOREST (1982, Blu-ray). It's also on YouTube.
ReplyDeletePouting "ghost dad" butchers childless couples. #ilovethe80s
"Stranger Things'" Finn Wolfhard in Floria Sigismondi's THE TURNING (2020, Showtime) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteRich brats drive live-in teacher underwater... again!
OR
Waste of otherwise killer Dolby 7.1 soundtrack.
THE RESORT (2021, HULU) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteMillennials' half-off Hawaiian outing turns "VVitch"-ed. Good.
OR
Makes "Blumhouse's Fantasy Island" look like "Casablanca."
John Carpenter's THE THING (1982, HD-DVD).
ReplyDeleteSomething will survive inside McReady's bushy beard.
OR
Imagine Rob Bottin's annual psychiatrist/therapy bills.
THE THING (2011, Amazon Prime).
ReplyDeleteRemeber when Joel Edgerton was in EVERYTHING?
OR
Best fan film ever made. Thanks, Universal.
Curtains (1983)
ReplyDeleteActors behaving badly? Only in Ontario, Canada!
Werewolf Woman (1976) - On Plex with ads
ReplyDelete*checks Rino Di Silvestro's filmography*
"Oooooh, ok."
Inside (2007, Dirs. Alexandre Bustillo & Julien Maury)
ReplyDeleteBo Burnham comedy special has difficult birth.
🤣🤣
DeleteDon’t Breath 2 (2021)
ReplyDeleteMeth Chefs secret ingredient? It's Your Daughter!
or
They were told several times. DON’T BREATH!
THE CHANGELING (1980)
ReplyDeleteWho knew wheelchairs could be so menacing.
Or
A lesson in doing research before renting.
Mr. Vampire, dir Ricky Lau, 1985
ReplyDeleteYou will have a hopping good time
Verotika (2019)(w/commentary)
ReplyDeleteYou could say "the hills have eyes"
Bloody Pit of Horror (Il boia scarlatto) (1965, dir. Massimo Pupillo)
ReplyDeleteShares title with GWAR album. Instant cred.
CHRISTINE (1983)
ReplyDeleteImagine if Christine was Miss Daisy’s car.
I NEED to see that movie!!
DeleteImagine there is a car. Great movie.
DeleteAnnabelle Comes Home (2019)
ReplyDeleteAnd she brought all her friends too
Day of the Dead (1985)
ReplyDeleteBub the gun-toting zombie steals the show.
End of Days (1999)
ReplyDeleteArnold Schwarzenegger fights the devil, nuff said.
Pieces (Mil gritos tiene la noche) (1982, dir. Juan Piquer Simón) (with F This Movie!'s commentary from 2016)
ReplyDelete2016 feels such a long time ago.
That was 5 years ago? Jfc...definitely feels like a long time. I wonder if he'll use the extra time to finish his puzzle. Only a few more PIECES!
DeletePSYCHO II (1983)
ReplyDeleteToasted Cheese Sandwiches...fragrance by Calvin Klein
RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD (1985)
ReplyDeleteSoundtrack is as killer as the zombies
Dementia 13 (1963)
ReplyDeleteNew director’s cut with Coppola commentary
Luana too beautiful to be evil, right?
Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021)
ReplyDeleteGreat use of the movie’s one “fuck”
Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter (2012)
ReplyDeleteWhen does he say 'Party on Dudes'?
The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021)
ReplyDeleteChekhov’s totally innocent basement of cult artefacts
Pieces (1982, Juan Piquer Simón)
ReplyDeleteOk, that was good. Groin-grabbingly good!
or
Most offensive "Asian" dialog since Mr. Yunioshi
Bad Moon (1996)
ReplyDeleteIf he says “sis” one more time…
The Witch (2015)
ReplyDeleteEntire family screws up, blames teenage girl.
Dracula A.D. 1972 (1972, dir. Alan Gibson)
ReplyDeleteThink I'm just happy to be done.
A clue? :)
DeleteGhostbusters (1984) Dir. Ivan Reitman
ReplyDeleteEvil Sumerian architecture is against AIA now.
Maniac Cop (1988)
ReplyDeleteSo that's why nobody talks about it
Death Ship (1980)
ReplyDelete"A Titanic disaster of horror!" -Gene Shalit.
Halloween (2018)
ReplyDeleteLessons for podcasters, never leave the studio!
Wishmaster (1997)
ReplyDeleteWishing triple bill: Wish Upon, Wishmaster, Kazaam.
Creepshow (1982)
ReplyDeleteOh Steven King George Romero, you lunkheads!
Planet Terror (2007) Dir. Robert Rodriguez
ReplyDeleteTarantino really channeling his inner Harvey Weinstein.
THINGS (1995)
ReplyDeleteRealistic depiction of LA life, I’m assuming.
Yoga Hosers (2016, dir. Kevin Smith)
ReplyDeleteLuca Bratzi sleeps with the Sauerkraut eh
Angel Heart (1987)
ReplyDeleteI love the Special Appearance By credit
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDance of the Dead(2008, Dir: Gregg Bishop)
ReplyDeleteSad Kids died. Bright side! No student loans.
or
"worst prom ever!" my date was wrong.
My Bloody Valentine (1981)
ReplyDeleteNot terribly convincing middle aged high schoolers.
Jakob's Wife (2021, dir. Travis Stevens)
ReplyDeleteThe Preacher's Wife 2: Crampton Comes Alive
Predator (1987) Dir. John McTiernan
ReplyDeleteHow'd Hawkins get assigned to Beefcake Battalion?
PROGENY (1998)
ReplyDeleteHere’s why Yuzna never directed an X-Files.
Insidious: The Last Key (2018, dir Adam Robitel)
ReplyDeleteAnswers burning questions about Leigh Whannell's outfits.
Nosferatu (Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens) (1922, dir. F.W. Murnau)
ReplyDeleteAmazing makeup! Willem Dafoe is totally unrecognizable.
🤣🤩
DeleteJoy Ride (2001) Dir. John Dahl
ReplyDeleteThis is Charlotte, she's a plot device.
Brain Damage (1988)
ReplyDeleteSo that's what acid trips are like
False Positive (2021)
ReplyDeleteBrosnan's sequel to Mama Mia! - Papa Pia!
Lisa and the Devil (1973)
ReplyDeleteClearly the inspiration for Weekend at Bernie's.
PETER BENCHLEY’S CREATURE (1998)
ReplyDeleteBecause he’s the Jaws guy. Get it?
No One Gets Out Alive (2021), Dir: Santiago Menghini
ReplyDeleteAmenities include Utilities, Washer/Dryer, Aztec Sacrifices.
Psycho IV: The Beginning
ReplyDeleteOne of the most underrated horror franchises.
Session 9 (2001)
ReplyDeleteStill accessable without seeing 1 thru 8
Xtro 2 The Second Encounter
ReplyDeleteYou engaged duel tangents. What'd you expect.
Scanners. 1981. David Cronenberg
ReplyDelete2021: read peoples’ minds, own head explodes.
Hell Fest (2018)
ReplyDeleteIt's fine. Better when Tobe made it
Wrong Turn (2003)
ReplyDeleteLike Texas Chainsaw with no Dr Pepper.
Phantasm (1979)
ReplyDeleteAlways feels like a nice warm hug.
Halloween (2007)
ReplyDeleteLike Halloween, but more fucking shouting! Shit!
Halloween II (2009)
ReplyDeleteAre Haddonfield TVs in a Frequency situation?
Malignant (2021) dir. James Wan
ReplyDeleteNo way seven words can cover it
V/H/S/94
ReplyDelete(re: veggie masher commercial)
Nobody had that kitchen backsplash in '94
MUPPET HAUNTED MANSION (2021)
ReplyDeleteWell, OF COURSE I'm gonna watch this.
DeepStar Six (1989, dir. Sean S. Cunningham)
ReplyDelete80 minutes of Miguel Ferrer fucking up
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
ReplyDeleteMooney should have used double secret popcorn.
Seed of Chucky (2004)
ReplyDeleteA child's quest to conquer bladder control.
Curse of Chucky (2013)
ReplyDeletePersonally, I like my chili with rice.
Cult of Chucky (2017)
ReplyDelete1 Chuck 2 Chuck 3 Chuck GORE!
Return of the Fly (1959)
ReplyDeleteFuck yeah, kick ass sequel! ...Shit Damn!
Ravenous (1999) Dir. Antonia Bird
ReplyDeleteThis is what people did before Netflix.
House on Haunted Hill (1999)
ReplyDeleteThe Prices seem like a fun couple.
Still/Born (2017)
ReplyDeleteWow! Having a newborn is hard work!
The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
ReplyDeleteBetter nickname: Suicide or Trash? Tough choice.
I Am Lisa (2020)
ReplyDeleteWalking Tall, with pointy Gen Z teeth!
The Djinn (2021, dirs. David Charbonier & Justin Powell)
ReplyDeleteI'm wishin' for my 90 minutes back!
HALLOWEEN (2007)
ReplyDeleteAlways tickled by McDowell's snow monkey look.
Resident Evil: Afterlife
ReplyDeleteNever ever ever ever trust Kim Coates.
The Silence of the Lamb (1991) Dir. Jonathan Demme
ReplyDeleteThought this was about the male gays....
COUNTESS DRACULA (1971)
ReplyDeleteSomebody at Hammer Studios really loved bodices.
THIRTEEN GHOSTS (1960) Watched with Illusion-o viewer
ReplyDeleteGimmick worked harder than script...but fun!
Crawl (2019)
ReplyDeleteDr. and Barry are my favorite Peppers.
Night School (1981) Dir. Ken Hughes
ReplyDeleteBrad Fiedel irons out his chase music.
Return of the Living Dead (1985) - "Living Dead" are metaphor for brain-eating zombies?
ReplyDeleteThere's Someone Inside Your House (2021, dir. Patrick Brice)
ReplyDeleteMore Shawn Levy than James Wan unfortunately
Dread (2009, dir. Anthony DiBlasi)
ReplyDeleteClive Barker without the kinky Clive Barkerness.
Alien (1979)
ReplyDeleteThree, I counted three cat jump scares
Aliens (1986)
ReplyDeleteNever realized alien queen used the elevator
The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)
ReplyDeleteCompletely distracted by Jim Cummings' vampire fangs
The Burning (1981)
ReplyDeleteWorth it for George Costanza's bare ass
There's Someone Inside Your House (2021)
ReplyDeleteBest featured cornfield since Freddy vs. Jason
Near Dark (1987)
ReplyDeleteSo many space marines it's addressed on-screen
Cameron's Closet (1988)
ReplyDeleteStep-parenting has really gone out the window
Malignant (James Wan, 2021)
ReplyDeleteArnold voice: It's not a parasitic twin!
Def by Temptation 1990
ReplyDeleteHoped undead Sam Jackson came back to whoop
Abby 1974
ReplyDelete10 times more fun than the Exorcist!
(Junesploitation Horror Redux/Blaxploitation Horror)
The Eyes of My Mother 2016
ReplyDeleteI will not have what she's having!
Jason Lives! Friday the 13th: Part VI (1986) Dir. Tom McLoughlin
ReplyDeleteKid in Chargers shirt has bleak future.
Malignant (2021)
ReplyDeleteBelial's arc on General Hospital was intense
Resident Evil: Retribution
ReplyDeleteHours later and I am still giddy.
The Devils Rejects (2005)
ReplyDeleteZombie says there's no glory in carnage.
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread. Thank you for your cooperation.
ReplyDelete