'I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR/STAB/SCREAM' QUINTET!Sharon Stone and Ronny Cox in SCISSORS (1991, TCM Underground) for the first time.Argento-wannabe, giallo-inspired psychosexual thriller. #MeToo nightmare fuel.ORSpecial appearance: Jimmy The Raven('s decapitated head).OR"Let's Starve Sharon Stone's Pussy to Near-Death."
Katt Shea's THE RAGE: CARRIE 2 (1999, Amazon Prime) with the KD Does Commentary commentary track.Bechdel Test failure's tip of the spear.OR'Assistant to Amy Irving: Max Spielberg.' #ReadtheCredits
Katee Sackhoff in DON'T KNOCK TWICE (2016, IFC Midnight) for the first time.Starbuck['s troubled daughter] versus [Welch] 'Baba Yaga.'ORWhere can I get 'BITCH' branded laptops?
Dawn of the Dead (1978)If It weren't For You Meddling Bikers!
A SERIAL KILLER'S GUIDE TO LIFE (2019, Showtime) for the first time.Female "Dexter(s)" comes out of shell, snap(s).ORPitch perfect satire of self-help addiction culture.
RELIC (2020, Showtime) for the first time.Aussie senile grandma's descent into madness. UnapPEALing.ORMore producers (16) than jump scares (NUN!!!).
Thirst (2009)My Beautiful Dark Twisted Korean Vampire Fantasy
Skeleton of Mrs. Morales, dir Rogelio A. González, 1960Taxidermy and Uxoricide are an exact science
Terrified, dir Demián Rugna, 2017Who brings guns to a ghost fight?
Clown (2014, Dir. Jon Watts) Bozo dad playing "got your nose" again.
Escape The Undertaker (2021)Mark Calloway takes his gimmick very seriously
THE LEGEND OF THE 7 GOLDEN VAMPIRES (1974)Crazy way to revamp a stale formula.OrVan Helsing vs. Dracula: most anticlimatic showdown.
Visitante (2021 - Alberto Evangelio)Kind of boring movie with made-for-TV vibes.
Lamb (2021 - Valdimar Jóhannsson)Well, poor them, they had it coming.
🤣😁
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mad God (2021 - Phil Tippett)Spoiler: What happened to that 2nd soldier?
Halloween Kills (2021 - David Gordon Green)Bill Burr is doing unfunny Halloween stand-up?
The Manor (2021)Directors cut of Grandma’s Boy is dark
Eight for Silver (2021 - Sean Ellis)Have you seen my werewolf-fang silver grills?
Dracula’s Daughter (1936)This apple fell too far from tree.
Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954, dir. Jack Arnold)Holy Gillman on fire! That looked good.
Love and Monsters (2020)Young love almost ruined by aggressive crabs
Halloween dir. David Gordon Green (2018)Pretty sure this one's set on Earth-616
Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers (1992)Clovis is my new favourite final girl.
TEKE TEKE (2009) This movie was on sale... half off!
30 Days of Night (2007)Handsome hero Hartnett has hometown horrifyingly harrassed
HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS (1995) Thorn cult just wanted some Pym particles.
Sorority House Massacre (1986)HALLOWEEN without the mask, or the style.
Jennifer's Body (2009)Whooooa here she comes. She's a maneater.
Sisters (1973)Red paint? White couch? Try club soda.
To the Devil a Daughter (1976, dir. Peter Sykes)How did Michael Winner not direct this?
Carnival of Souls (1962, dir. Herk Harvey)Guest at soul carnival is all wet.
HALLOWEEN H20 (1998) Sequel pitch: O'Keefe returns with Electro powers.
Night of the Demon aka Curse of the Demon (1957, dir. Jacques Tourneur)A goatee's a surefire sign of evil.
You Should Have Left (2020)...this alone and watched "The Shining" again.
THE DESCENT (2005)Dir- Neil MarshallScared shitless long before monsters show up.
Equinox (1970)When day and night are equal lengths
There's Something Inside the House (2021)Oh no! They'll see all my bongs!
Silent Night (2012)Roger: Too bad Gene missed this one
Dark August (1976)Thank god. July was much too bright.....................
Satan (2006)I met the devil...and he's gross.
Celia (1989)Don't mess with a little girl's bunnies.
Deadly Eyes (1982)My pet rat's great! He loves kids!
Onibaba (1964)I wear masks cuz I'm so handsome.
Whoever Slew Auntie Roo? (1972)I'd let Shelley Winters watch my children.
Hellbenders (2012)Clint would totally be my superhero name.
Halloween (1978) - (First time watch. Yeah, I know... It's a long story.)How, exactly, did Michael learn to drive?
Night of the Demon (1957)Dana Andrews wonderfulness plus Demon money shot.
Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter (1974, dir. Brian Clemens)Kills vampires, bests braggarts and slays poontang
Slither (2006)Permission to label this in "Rom-Com-Womb-Bomb" genre?
THE MUMMY (1959)Lee gets reversed moobs from Cushing's shotgun
HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION (2002) I forget. Is Michael Myers a soundbite?
V/H/S/94 (2021)V/H/S ready to end like actual VHS.
Hereditary (2018)Kids make stoic parent lose her head.
It Follows (2014)It does follow. Unclear what It is.
Thirst (2009)Unbelievable tale of priest engaged in misconduct.
The Love Witch (2016)But does Samantha Robinson even need magic?
Hush (2016)The name of the book she wrote!!!!!
Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006) Dir. Scott GlossermanThe most charismatic serial killer since OJ.
Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)Better than Trivial Pursuit: Origin of Arguments.
VHS 94 (2021)No surprise, Tjahjanto's segment is the best.
HALLOWEEN (2018) Karolina can't battle Michael Myers without Nico.
No One Gets Out Alive (2021)Need to workout your arms more bruh.
The Innkeepers (2011)I'd let Sara Paxton ring my bell.
The Happening (2008) w/FTHISMOVIE Commentary I am eyeing your lemon drink. Wink
An American Werewolf in London (1981)This Landis made for you and me.
This, Landis made, for you and me.(sorry I forgot the commas)
John Dies at the End 2012(Junesploitation Horror Redux: Sci Fi Horror)🎵 ... a (decently paced) strange trip it's been! 🎶
Pale Blood (1990)That blood should really get some sun.
The Burning (1981)(w/F This Movie commentary)Harvey Weinstein played Cropsy in close ups
MADRES (2021):Did Blumhouse forget how to make movies?
The Lazarus Effect (2015, dir. David Gelb) A better title would be "Dumb Lucy"
DEAD AND BURIED (1981):That nurse has very poor bedsEYEd manner.
Kung Fu Zombie 1981Good fight, bonkers plot, stolen 007 theme!
An American Werewolf in LondonI’m a werewolf, he’s a werewolf, she’s…
CANDYMAN: FAREWELL TO THE FLESHKilling for my family - well, not "for"
Resident Evil: The Final ChapterWasn’t expecting this series to be fun.
Shock Treatment 1981Jessica Harper is an upgrade, fight me!
Next of Kin (1982) Dir. Tony WilliamsThis Sheila's acting like a Bogan, mate.
Scream (1995)His Mom and Dad were definitely mad.
Satanic Panic (2019)"Prepare her vile gate for His birth!"
Halloween (2018)It’s good, but it’s no Hell Fest.
Amok Train - AKA Beyond the Door III (1989), Dir: Jeff KwitnyThe Cadillac of Satan possessed train movies.or Satan's First Train Set, now with entrails!
TuskSteamed Hams was originally titled Poutiney Weenie.
Dark Ride (2006)Fun one I finally got around to!
WEB OF THE SPIDER (1971) Cobwebs get more screentime than the actors.
Night of the Comet (1984)Larry: Survives apocalypse. Immediately killed by wrench.
Scream 4 (2011, dir. Wes Craven)Give me four more Officer Judy movies
Beyond the Gates (2016)I'd still rather play it over Monopoly
Or:What's really beyond the gates? Mood lighting
I know, fuck Monopoly
eXistenZ (1999)She put a tentacle in his GameSpot
Hey-o!
It (1990)Honestly, I've seen scarier locker room showers...
Slither (2006, dir. James Gunn)Cheese and crackers: the most potent aphrodisiac
Re-Animator (1985)COVID lockdown with Herbert West would suck
Child's Play (1988)Billy Bibbit shocks doc. Revenge for McMurphy!
Game of Death (Sebastien Landry, Laurence Morais-Lagace, 2017)Exists in the Ready or Not universe
Horror of Dracula (1958)Alfred was hired with previous bat experience.
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)D'You think Josh Hartnett remembers Josh Hartnett?
Scarecrow 2002Fun flick but yearn for 1981's Night.
Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)First film made solely with studio notes.
The Mummy (1999)Arnold Vosloo? Ummm… More like jaws loose!
Ghost Stories (2018)Actually scares and unsettles me, a gem!
Halloween (2018)Sarah Connor Laurie better than alcoholic Laurie
Little Monsters (2019)Better Star Wars content than sequel trilogy
Malignant (2021)Finally, a killer dressed like Kriss Kross.
Trilogy of Terror (1975)Maybe try hiding behind yet another door
The Fly(1986 Dir, David Cronenberg)Penetrating dives into plasma pool prove problematic
A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014) “Skater Vamp” by Avril Lavigne plays loudly.
Escape Room (2019)Imaginative rooms but impressively unimaginative death scenes!
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)Some of the best art direction ever!
Return of the Living Dead III (1993) (Unrated Version)That's why you always wear a helmet!
Messiah of Evil (1973)Accurate depiction of last turkey at supermarket.
Piranha (1978) dir. Joe DanteToo slow to stop Dick Miller bloodbath.
Frailty (2002)I wish Paxton directed seven more movies.
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread. Thank you for your cooperation.
'I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR/STAB/SCREAM' QUINTET!
ReplyDeleteSharon Stone and Ronny Cox in SCISSORS (1991, TCM Underground) for the first time.
Argento-wannabe, giallo-inspired psychosexual thriller. #MeToo nightmare fuel.
OR
Special appearance: Jimmy The Raven('s decapitated head).
OR
"Let's Starve Sharon Stone's Pussy to Near-Death."
Katt Shea's THE RAGE: CARRIE 2 (1999, Amazon Prime) with the KD Does Commentary commentary track.
ReplyDeleteBechdel Test failure's tip of the spear.
OR
'Assistant to Amy Irving: Max Spielberg.' #ReadtheCredits
Katee Sackhoff in DON'T KNOCK TWICE (2016, IFC Midnight) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteStarbuck['s troubled daughter] versus [Welch] 'Baba Yaga.'
OR
Where can I get 'BITCH' branded laptops?
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
ReplyDeleteIf It weren't For You Meddling Bikers!
A SERIAL KILLER'S GUIDE TO LIFE (2019, Showtime) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteFemale "Dexter(s)" comes out of shell, snap(s).
OR
Pitch perfect satire of self-help addiction culture.
RELIC (2020, Showtime) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteAussie senile grandma's descent into madness. UnapPEALing.
OR
More producers (16) than jump scares (NUN!!!).
Thirst (2009)
ReplyDeleteMy Beautiful Dark Twisted Korean Vampire Fantasy
Skeleton of Mrs. Morales, dir Rogelio A. González, 1960
ReplyDeleteTaxidermy and Uxoricide are an exact science
Terrified, dir Demián Rugna, 2017
ReplyDeleteWho brings guns to a ghost fight?
Clown (2014, Dir. Jon Watts)
ReplyDeleteBozo dad playing "got your nose" again.
Escape The Undertaker (2021)
ReplyDeleteMark Calloway takes his gimmick very seriously
THE LEGEND OF THE 7 GOLDEN VAMPIRES (1974)
ReplyDeleteCrazy way to revamp a stale formula.
Or
Van Helsing vs. Dracula: most anticlimatic showdown.
Visitante (2021 - Alberto Evangelio)
ReplyDeleteKind of boring movie with made-for-TV vibes.
Lamb (2021 - Valdimar Jóhannsson)
ReplyDeleteWell, poor them, they had it coming.
🤣😁
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMad God (2021 - Phil Tippett)
ReplyDeleteSpoiler: What happened to that 2nd soldier?
Halloween Kills (2021 - David Gordon Green)
ReplyDeleteBill Burr is doing unfunny Halloween stand-up?
The Manor (2021)
ReplyDeleteDirectors cut of Grandma’s Boy is dark
Eight for Silver (2021 - Sean Ellis)
ReplyDeleteHave you seen my werewolf-fang silver grills?
Dracula’s Daughter (1936)
ReplyDeleteThis apple fell too far from tree.
Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954, dir. Jack Arnold)
ReplyDeleteHoly Gillman on fire! That looked good.
Love and Monsters (2020)
ReplyDeleteYoung love almost ruined by aggressive crabs
Halloween dir. David Gordon Green (2018)
ReplyDeletePretty sure this one's set on Earth-616
Stephen King’s Sleepwalkers (1992)
ReplyDeleteClovis is my new favourite final girl.
TEKE TEKE (2009)
ReplyDeleteThis movie was on sale... half off!
30 Days of Night (2007)
ReplyDeleteHandsome hero Hartnett has hometown horrifyingly harrassed
HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS (1995)
ReplyDeleteThorn cult just wanted some Pym particles.
Sorority House Massacre (1986)
ReplyDeleteHALLOWEEN without the mask, or the style.
Jennifer's Body (2009)
ReplyDeleteWhooooa here she comes. She's a maneater.
Sisters (1973)
ReplyDeleteRed paint? White couch? Try club soda.
To the Devil a Daughter (1976, dir. Peter Sykes)
ReplyDeleteHow did Michael Winner not direct this?
Carnival of Souls (1962, dir. Herk Harvey)
ReplyDeleteGuest at soul carnival is all wet.
HALLOWEEN H20 (1998)
ReplyDeleteSequel pitch: O'Keefe returns with Electro powers.
Night of the Demon aka Curse of the Demon (1957, dir. Jacques Tourneur)
ReplyDeleteA goatee's a surefire sign of evil.
You Should Have Left (2020)
ReplyDelete...this alone and watched "The Shining" again.
THE DESCENT (2005)
ReplyDeleteDir- Neil Marshall
Scared shitless long before monsters show up.
Equinox (1970)
ReplyDeleteWhen day and night are equal lengths
There's Something Inside the House (2021)
ReplyDeleteOh no! They'll see all my bongs!
Silent Night (2012)
ReplyDeleteRoger: Too bad Gene missed this one
Dark August (1976)
ReplyDeleteThank god. July was much too bright.....................
Satan (2006)
ReplyDeleteI met the devil...and he's gross.
Celia (1989)
ReplyDeleteDon't mess with a little girl's bunnies.
Deadly Eyes (1982)
ReplyDeleteMy pet rat's great! He loves kids!
Onibaba (1964)
ReplyDeleteI wear masks cuz I'm so handsome.
Whoever Slew Auntie Roo? (1972)
ReplyDeleteI'd let Shelley Winters watch my children.
Hellbenders (2012)
ReplyDeleteClint would totally be my superhero name.
Halloween (1978) - (First time watch. Yeah, I know... It's a long story.)
ReplyDeleteHow, exactly, did Michael learn to drive?
Night of the Demon (1957)
ReplyDeleteDana Andrews wonderfulness plus Demon money shot.
Captain Kronos: Vampire Hunter (1974, dir. Brian Clemens)
ReplyDeleteKills vampires, bests braggarts and slays poontang
Slither (2006)
ReplyDeletePermission to label this in "Rom-Com-Womb-Bomb" genre?
THE MUMMY (1959)
ReplyDeleteLee gets reversed moobs from Cushing's shotgun
HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION (2002)
ReplyDeleteI forget. Is Michael Myers a soundbite?
V/H/S/94 (2021)
ReplyDeleteV/H/S ready to end like actual VHS.
Hereditary (2018)
ReplyDeleteKids make stoic parent lose her head.
It Follows (2014)
ReplyDeleteIt does follow. Unclear what It is.
Thirst (2009)
ReplyDeleteUnbelievable tale of priest engaged in misconduct.
The Love Witch (2016)
ReplyDeleteBut does Samantha Robinson even need magic?
Hush (2016)
ReplyDeleteThe name of the book she wrote!!!!!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteBehind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006) Dir. Scott Glosserman
ReplyDeleteThe most charismatic serial killer since OJ.
Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)
ReplyDeleteBetter than Trivial Pursuit: Origin of Arguments.
VHS 94 (2021)
ReplyDeleteNo surprise, Tjahjanto's segment is the best.
HALLOWEEN (2018)
ReplyDeleteKarolina can't battle Michael Myers without Nico.
No One Gets Out Alive (2021)
ReplyDeleteNeed to workout your arms more bruh.
The Innkeepers (2011)
ReplyDeleteI'd let Sara Paxton ring my bell.
The Happening (2008) w/FTHISMOVIE Commentary
ReplyDeleteI am eyeing your lemon drink. Wink
An American Werewolf in London (1981)
ReplyDeleteThis Landis made for you and me.
This, Landis made, for you and me.
Delete(sorry I forgot the commas)
John Dies at the End 2012
ReplyDelete(Junesploitation Horror Redux: Sci Fi Horror)
🎵 ... a (decently paced) strange trip it's been! 🎶
Pale Blood (1990)
ReplyDeleteThat blood should really get some sun.
The Burning (1981)(w/F This Movie commentary)
ReplyDeleteHarvey Weinstein played Cropsy in close ups
MADRES (2021):
ReplyDeleteDid Blumhouse forget how to make movies?
The Lazarus Effect (2015, dir. David Gelb)
ReplyDeleteA better title would be "Dumb Lucy"
DEAD AND BURIED (1981):
ReplyDeleteThat nurse has very poor bedsEYEd manner.
Kung Fu Zombie 1981
ReplyDeleteGood fight, bonkers plot, stolen 007 theme!
An American Werewolf in London
ReplyDeleteI’m a werewolf, he’s a werewolf, she’s…
CANDYMAN: FAREWELL TO THE FLESH
ReplyDeleteKilling for my family - well, not "for"
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter
ReplyDeleteWasn’t expecting this series to be fun.
Shock Treatment 1981
ReplyDeleteJessica Harper is an upgrade, fight me!
Next of Kin (1982) Dir. Tony Williams
ReplyDeleteThis Sheila's acting like a Bogan, mate.
Scream (1995)
ReplyDeleteHis Mom and Dad were definitely mad.
Satanic Panic (2019)
ReplyDelete"Prepare her vile gate for His birth!"
Halloween (2018)
ReplyDeleteIt’s good, but it’s no Hell Fest.
Amok Train - AKA Beyond the Door III (1989), Dir: Jeff Kwitny
ReplyDeleteThe Cadillac of Satan possessed train movies.
or
Satan's First Train Set, now with entrails!
Tusk
ReplyDeleteSteamed Hams was originally titled Poutiney Weenie.
Dark Ride (2006)
ReplyDeleteFun one I finally got around to!
WEB OF THE SPIDER (1971)
ReplyDeleteCobwebs get more screentime than the actors.
Night of the Comet (1984)
ReplyDeleteLarry: Survives apocalypse. Immediately killed by wrench.
Scream 4 (2011, dir. Wes Craven)
ReplyDeleteGive me four more Officer Judy movies
Beyond the Gates (2016)
ReplyDeleteI'd still rather play it over Monopoly
Or:
DeleteWhat's really beyond the gates? Mood lighting
I know, fuck Monopoly
DeleteeXistenZ (1999)
ReplyDeleteShe put a tentacle in his GameSpot
Hey-o!
DeleteIt (1990)
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I've seen scarier locker room showers...
Slither (2006, dir. James Gunn)
ReplyDeleteCheese and crackers: the most potent aphrodisiac
Re-Animator (1985)
ReplyDeleteCOVID lockdown with Herbert West would suck
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteChild's Play (1988)
ReplyDeleteBilly Bibbit shocks doc. Revenge for McMurphy!
Game of Death (Sebastien Landry, Laurence Morais-Lagace, 2017)
ReplyDeleteExists in the Ready or Not universe
Horror of Dracula (1958)
ReplyDeleteAlfred was hired with previous bat experience.
Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)
ReplyDeleteD'You think Josh Hartnett remembers Josh Hartnett?
Scarecrow 2002
ReplyDeleteFun flick but yearn for 1981's Night.
Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)
ReplyDeleteFirst film made solely with studio notes.
The Mummy (1999)
ReplyDeleteArnold Vosloo? Ummm… More like jaws loose!
Ghost Stories (2018)
ReplyDeleteActually scares and unsettles me, a gem!
Halloween (2018)
ReplyDeleteSarah Connor Laurie better than alcoholic Laurie
Little Monsters (2019)
ReplyDeleteBetter Star Wars content than sequel trilogy
Malignant (2021)
ReplyDeleteFinally, a killer dressed like Kriss Kross.
Trilogy of Terror (1975)
ReplyDeleteMaybe try hiding behind yet another door
The Fly(1986 Dir, David Cronenberg)
ReplyDeletePenetrating dives into plasma pool prove problematic
A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014)
ReplyDelete“Skater Vamp” by Avril Lavigne plays loudly.
Escape Room (2019)
ReplyDeleteImaginative rooms but impressively unimaginative death scenes!
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)
ReplyDeleteSome of the best art direction ever!
Return of the Living Dead III (1993) (Unrated Version)
ReplyDeleteThat's why you always wear a helmet!
Messiah of Evil (1973)
ReplyDeleteAccurate depiction of last turkey at supermarket.
Piranha (1978) dir. Joe Dante
ReplyDeleteToo slow to stop Dick Miller bloodbath.
Frailty (2002)
ReplyDeleteI wish Paxton directed seven more movies.
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread. Thank you for your cooperation.
ReplyDelete