Monday, September 19, 2022

TALES FROM THE CRYPT Episode Ranking

 by Adam Riske

Give these classic episodes a revisit this Scary Movie Month!

I’ve been eager for Scary Movie Month but didn’t want to get burnt out on horror movies before October even starts, so recently I revisited every episode of HBO’s Tales from the Crypt. I’ve tried to do this before, but I always ended up re-watching Season 1, some of Season 2 and then losing steam. The key to making it the entire way through this time (it took me about 6 weeks to finish 93 episodes) was letting someone else take the wheel of which episodes I was watching. I found a YouTube channel called Glamster’s Crypt, which curates Crypt marathons every Friday afternoon, and seeing them in random order made it more fun and easier to binge watch.

Here’s my complete ranking from favorite to least favorite episodes. You can hear me go into these in more depth about these episodes on the first F This Movie! Patreon episode. 😊
1. The Man Who Was Death
2. Split Personality
3. Death of Some Salesman
4. Yellow
5. Dig That Cat…He’s Real Gone!
6. Let the Punishment Fit the Crime
7. What’s Cookin’
8. Top Billing
9. Well Cooked Hams
10. Beauty Rest
11. Carrion Death
12. The New Arrival
13. For Cryin’ Out Loud
14. Forever Ambergris
15. On a Dead Man’s Chest
16. Cutting Cards
17. Dead Right
18. Fitting Punishment
19. The Ventriloquist’s Dummy
20. Easel Kill Ya
21. Four-Sided Triangle
22. Split Second
23. Collection Completed
24. Two for the Show
25. Only Skin Deep
26. Came the Dawn
27. Food for Thought
28. People Who Live in Brass Hearses
29. Showdown
30. Maniac at Large
31. None but the Lonely Heart
32. Television Terror
33. Abra Dadaver
34. The Switch
35. House of Horrors
36. Lower Berth
37. Love Come Hack to Me
38. Only Sin Deep
39. Creep Course
40. And All Through the House
41. Three’s a Crowd
42. As Ye Sow
43. Mute Witness to Murder
44. Dead Wait
45. Loved to Death
46. King of the Road
47. The Bribe
48. Mournin’ Mess
49. The Trap
50. My Brother’s Keeper
51. Staired in Horror
52. Smoke Wrings
53. Cold War
54. The Thing from the Grave
55. Surprise Party
56. Operation Friendship
57. Deadline
58. Assassin
59. The Pit
60. Fatal Caper
61. The Third Pig
62. About Face
63. The Sacrifice
64. Strung Along
65. Comes the Dawn
66. ‘Til Death
67. The Reluctant Vampire
r 68. You, Murderer
69. Korman’s Kalamity
70. Doctor of Horror
71. This’ll Kill Ya
72. Spoiled
73. Report from the Grave
74. Horror in the Night
75. Werewolf Conerto
76. In the Groove
77. Curiosity Killed
78. Revenge is the Nuts
79. 99 & 44/100% Pure Horror
80. Oil’s Well that Ends Well
81. Undertaking Parlor
82. Judy, You’re Not Yourself Today
83. Till Death Do We Part
84. The Secret
85. Séance
86. Half Way Horrible
87. Whirlpool
88. The Kidnapper
89. Confession
90. Ear Today…Gone Tomorrow
91. Last Respects
92. Slight Case of Murder
93. Escape
MVP Directors:
Walter Hill (The Man Who Was Death, Cutting Cards, Deadline)
Robert Zemeckis (And All Through the House, Yellow, You Murderer)
Richard Donner (Dig That Cat…He’s Real Gone!, The Ventriloquist’s Dummy, Showdown)
• Howard Deutch (Only Sin Deep, Dead Right)
• Tom Holland (Love Come Hack to Me, Four-Sided Triangle, King of the Road)
• Kevin Yagher (Lower Berth, Strung Along)
Stephen Hopkins (Abra Cadaver, Beauty Rest, Staired in Horror)
• Elliot Silverstein (The Reluctant Vampire, Curiosity Killed, Well Cooked Hams, Surprise Party)
• John Harrison (Easel Kill Ya, The Pit)
• Russell Mulcahy (Split Second, People Who Live in Brass Hearses, Let the Punishment Fit the Crime)
• Gilbert Adler (What’s Cookin’, Death of Some Salesman)
• Gary Fleder (Séance, Forever Ambergris)
• Rodman Flender (Food for Thought, 99 & 44/100% Pure Horror)

What are some of your favorite Tales from the Crypt episodes?

4 comments:

  1. Killer ranking. Off the top of my head I think my personal favorite episodes where All thru the House, Death of Some Salesman and Television Terror.
    I did a Ke Huy Quanathon recently and rewatched Undertaking Parlor. I remember really liking it when I was younger and thinking it was top tier 'Tales' but it was not good this time. The fake goonies just aren't likable, jokes miss and although we get a full throttle Glover there's really nothing for him to do.




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  2. I binged the first 4 seasons like 10 years on YT. I was kinda burned out after that but I remember really liking Cutting Cards, Top Billing, Split Personality, The New Arrival and Dig the Cat with Joey Pants.

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  3. {Prints out list}
    {Tapes on back of DVD box set of series}
    {starts to watch}

    Thanks Dude!!!!

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