Kevin Bacon in FRIDAY THE 13th (1980, Scream! Factory Blu-ray).Bernie Madoff finished what Betsy Palmer started..ORAx-to-the-face will ruin Marcie's just-applied make-up. Bummer.
Tom Atkins in HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH (1983, Scream! Factory 4K UHD Blu-ray).Not greatest amateur detective, but definitely horniest.ORIndustrywide shift to streaming foils Cochran's masterplan.
Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing in Hammer's THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA (1973, HBO Max) for the first time.Nobody sells dumb-sounding exposition better than Cushing.ORVan Helsing's granddaughter needs rescuing... a lot!
Dracula (1931, Spanish Version) Nobody told me Eugene Levy’s in this.
Hellraiser: Judgment (2018)Another Hellraiser movie. Sorry I got nothing.
30 DAYS OF NIGHT (2007, Dir. David Slade)Take a shot everytime someone says utilidor.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Marcus Nispel, 2003My boyfriend's face really highlights your cheekbones
Perfect Blue (1997, Dir. Satoshi Kon)Singer stalked while supporter's stabbed by psycho.
THE BLOOD ON SATAN'S CLAW (1971) Devil worshippers in battle against foppish wigs.
Gremlins (1984)In 1984 Goldsmith wrote the Gremlins score.(sung to the tune of Columbus sailed the ocean blue)
Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger and more Gremlin-y!
Slither (2006)Mayor is giving off a real BDE.
Underwater (2020)Even TJ Miller can't make this unwatchable
JAWS (1975) They stole CHASING AMY's famous scar scene!
Spiral (2021)Rock beats scissors. Plastic wrap beats guns.ORKilling crooked cops? Kinda rooting for Jigsaw.
Terrifier 2 (2022 - Damien Leone)Film rated PG - stands for pretty gnarly. Wonder Woman 1984 with a terrifying villain.
Tremors (1990)Sarlacc Pit helmed theater group recreates Jaws.
SORORITY GIRLS AND THE CREATURE FROM HELL (1990) Next time, stick to the slimebowl bowl-o-rama.
it bears noting that Full Moon is currently in production on a Slimebowl sequel. seriously.
Bone Tomahawk (2015)Even by Pre-Covid standards, that whistle's unsanitary.
Outstanding
X (2022)Xealous Xecluded Xenior Xitizens Xlay Xexy Xtarlets
5ive Girls (2006, dir. Warren P. Sonoda)R0n P3rlm4n 15 th3 0nly r3d33m1ng f34tur3.
WICKED CITY (1987) Strange remake of Kiss of the Spiderwoman.
The Final Destination (2009) Death goes from concept to slap stick
Final Destination 5 (2011) I've done a complete "180" on franchise
brilliant
Dracula (1931)Creepy … in a HOLLOW MAN pervy way.
WICKED CITY (1992 live action remake) Never bring guns to a ghost fight.
The Hole in the Ground (2019)Changeling really beefed it, made tween agreeable.
Creature from the Black Lagoon (1964)Can’t blame Gillman, have you seen Kay?!?!
Sorry 1954. Fat fingers.
The Conjuring (2013) - First time viewingCold, stinky, demon house? Call Vera Farmiga!
Cat's Eye (1985)Two men's magazine stories... and a troll?
Spell (2020)Love that hoodoo! Who do? You do!
Spirit Halloween: The Movie (2022)Thank G-D I didn't press Buy $9.99
28 Weeks Later (2007, dir. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo)Hawkeye saves kids, Moira McTaggert's also there.
Tales From the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight (1995)Just use the three stooges eye poke!
Trouble Every Day (2001)Clean up after yourself when you're done.
Stoker (2013)Please insert Stroker joke from the movie.
Near Dark (1987)The most Paxtony Bill Paxton’s ever Paxtoned
Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)I cried! Surely I accidentally watched Beaches
Halloween (2018)Karen should’ve said “trick or treat motherfucker.”
Sugar Hill (1974)Imagine if it was Pam Grier instead.orCobwebs is a great look for zombies!
Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf (1985)Christopher Lee? Werewolf orgies? Sign me up!
The Devil's Nightmare (1971)Sell my soul? Where do I sign?
Onibaba (1964)Mother pulls one hell of a cockblock
Mr. Harrigan's Phone (2022)Murders intensify after Harrigan discovers Truth Social
SCREAM (1996):Thank god they never made any sequels.
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)Plot hole - you'd never leave Rosario Dawson
Eaten Alive (1976)Original Crocodile Mile: less sliding, more scything
Leviathan (1989) This crew is out of its depth.
TITANE (2021) Immortan Joe: "Ride eternal, shiny and chrome!!!"
Grabbers (2012)More forced-drunk tongue action than a fraternity.
VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED (1960)Get off my lawn ya Damned kids!
The Mist(2007) Stores Kool Aid supply flying off shelves.
THE HAUNTED PALACE (1963)Well, it's haunted and it's a palace!
HATCHING (2022) Where's the Animaniacs Goodfeathers parody of this?
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child"That doesn't look very scary" kid's right.
Freddy's Dead: The Final NightmareSpringwood is by Elk Grove? No way!
The Exorcist III (1990) dir. William Peter BlattyKinderman just needs a spa day, really.
Don’t Breathe 2 (2021)Guess we’re rootin’ for Baster Boy now!
V/H/S/94 (2021)VHS: Old Simpsons Episodes would’ve been better.
Grizzly (1976) They're really trying for an Indianapolis speech.
The Addams Family (1991) Less valuable than Family Values.
HYBRID (1997) This actress has me on the Brinke.
Monster Squad (1987)Big whoop, Wolfman. Half of us do.
P.S. "Rock Until You Drop" is a banger.
Scream (2022, dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett)SPOILER ALERT: they done did Dewey dirty.
X (2022)Spike Jones just wanna have some fuck
Scream (2022)The rules are there are no rules
Blade: Trinity (2004)Guess I still don't like this one.
Blair Witch (2016)So the witch sent in the footage?
The Stuff (1985)Tonight: "Evil Cool Whip ruined my family"
Pearl (2022)The only Smile that matters right now
Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)The Shat plays "Rack"; arachnids are whack.
The Devil's Rain (1975)Too much face goo, not enough SHATNER!
Bloodsucking Pharoahs in Pittsburgh (Dir. Alan Smitthee 1991)Proto Requiem-Burstyn talks like WWE's Kane.
The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave (Dir. Emilio Miraglia 1971)Normally, Sheeran is the ginger you'd torture...
Halloween (1978)Like Satan, Annie gets the best lines.
The Mummy (1932) First time in 4KBramwell Fletcher is still “Male Scream” champ.
Impulse (1974)Can sassy teen stop classy stabber? SHATNER!
Scream (1996)So angry I had to denote year.
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread.
Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)Patrick likes Elvis' movies more than Elvis.
Kevin Bacon in FRIDAY THE 13th (1980, Scream! Factory Blu-ray).
ReplyDeleteBernie Madoff finished what Betsy Palmer started..
OR
Ax-to-the-face will ruin Marcie's just-applied make-up. Bummer.
Tom Atkins in HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH (1983, Scream! Factory 4K UHD Blu-ray).
ReplyDeleteNot greatest amateur detective, but definitely horniest.
OR
Industrywide shift to streaming foils Cochran's masterplan.
Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing in Hammer's THE SATANIC RITES OF DRACULA (1973, HBO Max) for the first time.
ReplyDeleteNobody sells dumb-sounding exposition better than Cushing.
OR
Van Helsing's granddaughter needs rescuing... a lot!
Dracula (1931, Spanish Version)
ReplyDeleteNobody told me Eugene Levy’s in this.
Hellraiser: Judgment (2018)
ReplyDeleteAnother Hellraiser movie. Sorry I got nothing.
30 DAYS OF NIGHT (2007, Dir. David Slade)
ReplyDeleteTake a shot everytime someone says utilidor.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Marcus Nispel, 2003
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend's face really highlights your cheekbones
Perfect Blue (1997, Dir. Satoshi Kon)
ReplyDeleteSinger stalked while supporter's stabbed by psycho.
THE BLOOD ON SATAN'S CLAW (1971)
ReplyDeleteDevil worshippers in battle against foppish wigs.
Gremlins (1984)
ReplyDeleteIn 1984 Goldsmith wrote the Gremlins score.
(sung to the tune of Columbus sailed the ocean blue)
Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)
ReplyDeleteHarder, Better, Faster, Stronger and more Gremlin-y!
Slither (2006)
ReplyDeleteMayor is giving off a real BDE.
Underwater (2020)
ReplyDeleteEven TJ Miller can't make this unwatchable
JAWS (1975)
ReplyDeleteThey stole CHASING AMY's famous scar scene!
Spiral (2021)
ReplyDeleteRock beats scissors. Plastic wrap beats guns.
OR
Killing crooked cops? Kinda rooting for Jigsaw.
Terrifier 2 (2022 - Damien Leone)
ReplyDeleteFilm rated PG - stands for pretty gnarly.
Wonder Woman 1984 with a terrifying villain.
Tremors (1990)
ReplyDeleteSarlacc Pit helmed theater group recreates Jaws.
SORORITY GIRLS AND THE CREATURE FROM HELL (1990)
ReplyDeleteNext time, stick to the slimebowl bowl-o-rama.
it bears noting that Full Moon is currently in production on a Slimebowl sequel. seriously.
DeleteBone Tomahawk (2015)
ReplyDeleteEven by Pre-Covid standards, that whistle's unsanitary.
Outstanding
DeleteX (2022)
ReplyDeleteXealous Xecluded Xenior Xitizens Xlay Xexy Xtarlets
5ive Girls (2006, dir. Warren P. Sonoda)
ReplyDeleteR0n P3rlm4n 15 th3 0nly r3d33m1ng f34tur3.
WICKED CITY (1987)
ReplyDeleteStrange remake of Kiss of the Spiderwoman.
The Final Destination (2009)
ReplyDeleteDeath goes from concept to slap stick
Final Destination 5 (2011)
ReplyDeleteI've done a complete "180" on franchise
brilliant
DeleteDracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteCreepy … in a HOLLOW MAN pervy way.
WICKED CITY (1992 live action remake)
ReplyDeleteNever bring guns to a ghost fight.
The Hole in the Ground (2019)
ReplyDeleteChangeling really beefed it, made tween agreeable.
Creature from the Black Lagoon (1964)
ReplyDeleteCan’t blame Gillman, have you seen Kay?!?!
Sorry 1954. Fat fingers.
DeleteThe Conjuring (2013) - First time viewing
ReplyDeleteCold, stinky, demon house? Call Vera Farmiga!
Cat's Eye (1985)
ReplyDeleteTwo men's magazine stories... and a troll?
Spell (2020)
ReplyDeleteLove that hoodoo! Who do? You do!
Spirit Halloween: The Movie (2022)
ReplyDeleteThank G-D I didn't press Buy $9.99
28 Weeks Later (2007, dir. Juan Carlos Fresnadillo)
ReplyDeleteHawkeye saves kids, Moira McTaggert's also there.
Tales From the Crypt Presents: Demon Knight (1995)
ReplyDeleteJust use the three stooges eye poke!
Trouble Every Day (2001)
ReplyDeleteClean up after yourself when you're done.
Stoker (2013)
ReplyDeletePlease insert Stroker joke from the movie.
Near Dark (1987)
ReplyDeleteThe most Paxtony Bill Paxton’s ever Paxtoned
Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)
ReplyDeleteI cried! Surely I accidentally watched Beaches
Halloween (2018)
ReplyDeleteKaren should’ve said “trick or treat motherfucker.”
Sugar Hill (1974)
ReplyDeleteImagine if it was Pam Grier instead.
or
Cobwebs is a great look for zombies!
Howling II: Your Sister Is a Werewolf (1985)
ReplyDeleteChristopher Lee? Werewolf orgies? Sign me up!
The Devil's Nightmare (1971)
ReplyDeleteSell my soul? Where do I sign?
Onibaba (1964)
ReplyDeleteMother pulls one hell of a cockblock
Mr. Harrigan's Phone (2022)
ReplyDeleteMurders intensify after Harrigan discovers Truth Social
SCREAM (1996):
ReplyDeleteThank god they never made any sequels.
Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)
ReplyDeletePlot hole - you'd never leave Rosario Dawson
Eaten Alive (1976)
ReplyDeleteOriginal Crocodile Mile: less sliding, more scything
Leviathan (1989)
ReplyDeleteThis crew is out of its depth.
TITANE (2021)
ReplyDeleteImmortan Joe: "Ride eternal, shiny and chrome!!!"
Grabbers (2012)
ReplyDeleteMore forced-drunk tongue action than a fraternity.
VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED (1960)
ReplyDeleteGet off my lawn ya Damned kids!
The Mist(2007) Stores Kool Aid supply flying off shelves.
ReplyDeleteTHE HAUNTED PALACE (1963)
ReplyDeleteWell, it's haunted and it's a palace!
HATCHING (2022)
ReplyDeleteWhere's the Animaniacs Goodfeathers parody of this?
A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child
ReplyDelete"That doesn't look very scary" kid's right.
Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare
ReplyDeleteSpringwood is by Elk Grove? No way!
The Exorcist III (1990) dir. William Peter Blatty
ReplyDeleteKinderman just needs a spa day, really.
Don’t Breathe 2 (2021)
ReplyDeleteGuess we’re rootin’ for Baster Boy now!
V/H/S/94 (2021)
ReplyDeleteVHS: Old Simpsons Episodes would’ve been better.
Grizzly (1976)
ReplyDeleteThey're really trying for an Indianapolis speech.
The Addams Family (1991)
ReplyDeleteLess valuable than Family Values.
HYBRID (1997)
ReplyDeleteThis actress has me on the Brinke.
Monster Squad (1987)
ReplyDeleteBig whoop, Wolfman. Half of us do.
P.S. "Rock Until You Drop" is a banger.
DeleteScream (2022, dir. Matt Bettinelli-Olpin and Tyler Gillett)
ReplyDeleteSPOILER ALERT: they done did Dewey dirty.
X (2022)
ReplyDeleteSpike Jones just wanna have some fuck
Scream (2022)
ReplyDeleteThe rules are there are no rules
Blade: Trinity (2004)
ReplyDeleteGuess I still don't like this one.
Blair Witch (2016)
ReplyDeleteSo the witch sent in the footage?
The Stuff (1985)
ReplyDeleteTonight: "Evil Cool Whip ruined my family"
Pearl (2022)
ReplyDeleteThe only Smile that matters right now
Kingdom of the Spiders (1977)
ReplyDeleteThe Shat plays "Rack"; arachnids are whack.
The Devil's Rain (1975)
ReplyDeleteToo much face goo, not enough SHATNER!
Bloodsucking Pharoahs in Pittsburgh (Dir. Alan Smitthee 1991)
ReplyDeleteProto Requiem-Burstyn talks like WWE's Kane.
The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave (Dir. Emilio Miraglia 1971)
ReplyDeleteNormally, Sheeran is the ginger you'd torture...
Halloween (1978)
ReplyDeleteLike Satan, Annie gets the best lines.
The Mummy (1932) First time in 4K
ReplyDeleteBramwell Fletcher is still “Male Scream” champ.
Impulse (1974)
ReplyDeleteCan sassy teen stop classy stabber? SHATNER!
Scream (1996)
ReplyDeleteSo angry I had to denote year.
These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread.
ReplyDeleteBubba Ho-Tep (2002)
ReplyDeletePatrick likes Elvis' movies more than Elvis.