Monday, October 3, 2022

Scary Movie Challenge 2022 Day 3

76 comments:

  1. .J.A. Bayona's EL ORFANATO (THE ORPHANAGE, 2007) on Blu-ray. Also streaming (w/commercials) on TUBI.

    MOTHER (get it?) of guilt-ridden twist endings.

    OR

    So good director helmed "Jurassic World" sequel.

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  2. Simon Nuchtern's SILENT MADNESS 3D (1984, Alamo Drafthouse Brooklyn) for the first time.

    Wholesale buffet of cannon fodder humanity loathsomeness.

    OR

    Much-improved recycled "Friday III 3D" tech follow-up.

    OR

    Linda Hamilton-esque final girl versus "Terminator"-like psycho.

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  3. Werewolves Within (2021)

    Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls. Balls.

    ReplyDelete
  4. THE KINDRED (2021, Dir. Jamie Patterson)

    When you find out Daddy's been sacked.

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  5. Glorious (Dir. Rebekah McKendry, 2022)
    What if Lovecraft but horny, not racist?

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  6. THE RETURN OF DR. X (1939)

    It’s Humphrey Bogart among the living dead

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  7. Piggy (Dir. Carlotta Pereda, 2022)
    Alternative title suggestion: Bon Bon and Clyde

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  8. Hellraiser: Hellseeker (2002)

    This is a very strainge Allstate commercial.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Species (1995, dir. Roger Donaldson)

    Brings back so many seminal teenage memories.

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  10. HAUNTED PALACE (1963)

    Corman actually had a budget for once.

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  11. Nope (2022)
    "Haywood's Hollywood Horses heroicly handle heartbreaking hazards."

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  12. Son of Frankenstein, dir Rowland V. Lee, 1939

    Don't mind Bela, he likes to lurk

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  13. HELLRAISER (1987)

    I thought I asked for CINNAMON bites!

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  14. READY OR NOT (2019)

    Might be my favorite DIE HARD movie.

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  15. FURY OF THE WOLFMAN (1972)

    Video nasty? No, more like video Naschy.

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  16. The Wolf Man (1941)

    Funny how these pentagrams aren't even pentagrams.

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  17. House by the Cemetery (1981)

    Bob please don't go downstairs. Oh fuck.

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  18. Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

    Insaner Clown Posse: Needs Chiodo Helmed Sequel!

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  19. TRICK OR TREATS (1982)

    Gotta quit starting October with terrible movies.

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  20. Silent Hill (2006)

    Hey, TV's Rob DiCristino, please explain mythology.

    ReplyDelete
  21. TARGET EARTH (1954)

    This robot's worse on stairs than ED-209.

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  22. Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth

    Pinhead said, "crucifixion but make it camp"

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  23. Vampire's Kiss (1988)

    Average week when you're Nicolas Kim Coppola.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Halloween III (1982)
    Atkins gives zero fucks, gets them all.

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  25. Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988, dir. Tony Randel)

    "I have to finish the puzzle." Relatable.

    ReplyDelete
  26. DOCTOR FAUSTUS (1967)

    Elizabeth Taylor, sure. But... space Elizabeth Taylor?!?

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  27. The Conjuring 2 (2016)

    Family deserved it for keeping abandoned armchair.

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  28. Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)

    Still the best creepy clown movie yet.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Viy (1967)
    "Coassacks have no fear," exclaims fleeing man.

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  30. SISSY (2022)

    Stylish thriller puts the "fluids" in "in-fluids-er"

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  31. Before I Wake (2016)

    The stuff that dreams are made of.

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  32. When a Stranger Calls (Simon West, 2006)

    Bad babysitter breaks bad boy's brutalism bender

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  33. THE UNKOWN TERROR (1957)

    Was Jungle Cruise a remake of this?

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  34. WHO INVITED THEM (dir. Duncan Birmingham 2022)

    No respect for a killer vinyl collection

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  35. Cannibal Girls (1973)

    Perfectly depicts Canadian girls... I mean Cannibal!

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  36. Leatherface (2017)
    Better than a "skin condition" at least

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  37. The Gate (1987) Dir. Tibor Takācs

    Giant demon no match for La Magra.

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  38. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

    Final: It doesn’t mean what you think.

    ReplyDelete
  39. FIRESTARTER (2022)

    Movies about pyrokinesis shouldn't be this boring.

    ReplyDelete
  40. WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS (2014):

    Can’t believe they wasted all that bisgetti.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Hell House LLC (2015)

    Good but unremarkable - nuthin else to say!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Mosquito (Dir. Gary Jones 1994)

    No stretch... Leatherface dispatches skeeters with shotguns.

    OR

    20 years later, Gunnar's still slingin' saws!

    OR

    Proboscis? Or just happy to see me?

    ReplyDelete
  43. Sisters(1972 Dir: Brian De Palma)

    Poor Phillip instantly regretted not getting cupcakes

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  44. Pay The Ghost (2015)
    Inflation proof. Only three kids since 1679!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Tombs of the Blind Dead (Dir. Amando de Ossorio 1972)

    Blind Dead? Just past the rapey graveyard...

    ReplyDelete
  46. Terrifier (2016)

    Would watch Hacksaw Art Clown in WWE

    ReplyDelete
  47. ATTACK OF THE BLIND DEAD 1973
    Amando de Ossorio

    Blind Dead, proto door to door missionaries!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Young Frankenstein (1974)

    Coincidentally "schwanzstucker" isn't appearing on Google translate

    ReplyDelete
  49. Frankenstein Created Woman (1967)

    That's a novel way to get head

    or

    Monsters we can never defeat: rich assholes

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  50. Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
    He tried, so he died. RIP Beef

    ReplyDelete
  51. War of the Worlds (1953)

    Aliens so short: Army, try hockey sticks!

    ReplyDelete
  52. The Pit and the Pendulum (1991, dir. Stuart Gordon)

    Gordon always doing a lot with little.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Practical Magic (1998)

    Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman are hot.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Zombieland (Ruben Fleischer, 2009)

    Hummer not ideal for cross country travel

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  55. THE BRAIN (1988)

    Kept waiting for Pinky but alas...nope.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Pearl (2022 - Ti West)

    Being single mother can lead to burnout.

    ReplyDelete
  57. WNUF Halloween Special (2013)

    Would make a great double with Ghostwatch

    ReplyDelete
  58. Cube (2021)

    Japanese remake of 1997 Cube. No Gleaming.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Prisoners of the Ghostland (2021)

    Sometimes I was confused...absolutely loved it.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Cronos (1993)

    Please dont 5 second rule bathroom blood

    ReplyDelete
  61. Ginger Snaps (2000)

    I'm serious, don't 5 second rule blood

    ReplyDelete
  62. The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020)

    That defies an easy seven word review.

    or

    First, admit you have a werewolf problem.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)

    Linnea can't fight or dance with chainsaws

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  64. Them! (1954)

    That guy probably still locked up today

    ReplyDelete
  65. Maximum Overdrive (1986)

    Trucks? Check. AC/DC? Check. Cocaine mountain? CHECK!

    ReplyDelete
  66. Scream 4 (2011)

    Is Emma Roberts part of Bills Mafia?

    ReplyDelete
  67. The Incredible Melting Man (1977)

    Ben Grimm needs to quit his bitching

    ReplyDelete
  68. CORALINE (2009)

    Maligns the reputation of doll makers everywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Critter (1986)
    Really makes me nostalgic for practical effects

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  70. Mad God (2021)
    I need more acid for this one.

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  71. The Funhouse (Dir. Tobe Hooper, 1981)

    All this over a 100 dollar handjob?

    ReplyDelete
  72. Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge (1989)

    Boy is that end credits song problematic!

    ReplyDelete
  73. Night of the Seagulls (Dir. Amando de Ossorio, 1975)

    McCartney: "somebody's knockin' at my door..." AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  74. These reviews have been counted for the monthly tally. Please post your reviews on today's thread.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Hellraiser: Inferno (2000, dir. Scott Derrickson)
    Kung-fu cowboys keep kicking Craig, I cringe

    ReplyDelete