Hungry for 1994: Movie Snacks with Jan and JB

 by Jan Bottiglieri and JB

We're gakking it up for this year's FTM Fest.

Ah, the neon-bright halcyon days of 1994! Our fashion-forward readers will fondly remember slip dresses and stonewashed overalls. We lost Kurt Cobain and gained the future Harry Styles. Nelson Mandela became the first democratically elected president of South Africa and starred in Shazaam! with Sinbad (or at least, that's how I remember it.) But what do I remember MOST about 1994?

Slime.

Back in 1994, JB and I spent much of our time caring for and entertaining our strange and hilarious four-year-old child. In other words, our lives revolved around Nick-nick-nick-nick, na-nick-nick-nick... Nickelodeon. Yes, 1994 was a stellar year for movies—but it was also part of Nickelodeon's famed Golden Age—and we were THERE FOR IT.

In fact, as working parents of a toddler, we were "there" for more Nick shows than real, go-to-the-theatre movie experiences. Babysitters are expensive (I'm looking at YOU, Patrick Bromley.) So, when F-Head Jeff Kalakay suggested that JB and I pull together a 1994-themed movie snack menu for this year's Fest, all I could think about was dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets and rivers of glorious green slime. Fortunately, JB came up with some great ideas, and I was able to widen my Reptar-centric view of 1994.

Here are our collaborative results for FTM Fest: 1994. I can't wait until we are all "together" on Saturday, February 24th!

THE MASK

SMOKIN’ CUBAN PETE (JB)

This is a traditional Cuba Libre made with SinShip 1930 Smoked Rum. According to the Total Wine website, this rum is made in California and features “slightly sweet and peaty smoke on the nose. Burnt caramel and vanilla up front, then cherry, anise, and coffee notes, followed by a peaty scotch finish.”

Use Coke with Lime for extra lime flavor or muddle some limes at the bottom of the glass before shocking the ice with the SinShip. Chick-chicky-YUM!

CAMERON "DIAZ NUTZ" (JAN)

Use this easy recipe to make Homemade Spicy Nuts, making sure to include pistachios for a touch of green. Toss in some tiny Cheez-It Gripz for a touch of zoot-suit yellow. I may eat the whole bowl... ssssssomebody STOP me!

STANLEY GUACAMOLE (JAN & JB)

Use your favorite guacamole recipe, presented in an oval dish and garnished with black olives and diced onion "teeth" to make it look like Stanley Ipkiss in his magical mask. Then, apply to face for skin rejuvenation. Do it while the movie is playing, tweet out a photo, and don't forget to tag it #fthismoviefest!

STARGATE

THE SANDY BANDAGE (JB)

This drink may not be new to this year's event, but it's a great thematic fit and it is straight-up delicious. Read about it here.

S-TARALLI-GATE CRACKERS & DIP (JAN)

Taralli are crispy, ring-shaped crackers from Italy. Whether you can buy them locally will depend on how close you live to a good Italian deli or World Market. Don't worry, Amazon has your back (just search "taralli") or you can bake your own. For dipping, it's gotta be hummus—they've been eating it in Egypt since at least the 13th century! There can be only one Ra—but there are many delicious types of hummus.

TERMINAL VELOCITY

TIGER BLOOD (JAN)

Everyone knows that Charlie Sheen has tiger blood. This is what makes him the only "big cat" who is also a good swimmer! Most of us have human blood, which we can fortify with this healthy cocktail:

• 1 can (5.5 oz) V8 "Essential Antioxidants" juice
• 2 oz vodka (ideally, a Russian vodka with a name that sounds American.)
• 1 dash each of Worcestershire and soy sauce
• Big dab of wasabi
• Big squeeze of fresh lime

PARACHUTE BING BREAD (JB)

Owners Beverly Kim and Johnny Clark offered bacon-, potato-, and scallion-stuffed Bing bread at their restaurant Parachute in Chicago. You can find the recipe at BonApetit.com. 

CABIN BOY

NAVY GROG (JB)

See illustration. That is all.

FANCY LAD FISH STICK NON-KITTIES (JAN)

Like the wig on Chris Elliott, the key to making fish sticks fancy will be what's on top. Cook your fish sticks in an air fryer for extra crunchiness then, instead of plain old tartar sauce, serve with a creamy Dijon mustard or a homemade remoulade! Leave kitty shapes to the experts.

TIMECOP

DRINKS THROUGH TIME (JAN)

I did actual "research" (i.e., googling on the couch during re-runs of The Office) to bring you this comprehensive list of popular drinks during the years depicted in Timecop.

• 1863: Old Overhort Rye Whiskey, a favorite of General Ulysses S. Grant.
• 1929: A new fountain drink named "Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Soda," later re-named... 7-UP!
• 1994: If you're a grown-up, have a Zima! If you are a young person or a molten mercury alien, have a Capri Sun.
• 2004: How about a Margarita (the most popular bar drink of 2004) made with Mountain Dew Baja Blast and a shot of 5-Hour Energy Drink (both introduced in 2004.) I DARE YOU.

WON TON CLOCKS (JB)

"Filling up won tons and decorating them for holidays is so easy and fun." writes Beth Klosterboer on her Hungry Happenings recipe blog. IS IT, THOUGH? These sound truly tasty, though I wouldn't blame anyone for making them without bothering to add all the the (Van) damn numbers.

SPEED

CAN THIS (PARTY) BUS BE STOPPED?! (JB AND JAN)

Choose any of your favorite snacks and serve them in a city bus! Alternatively, choose your favorite snacks and EAT them on a city bus.

This is the last movie we had to think of snacks for, so we are tired. Here are our other suggestions. Two of them are just cereal!

• A bowl of Apple Jack (Traven)s
• The "De Bont": A Dutch baby pancake covered in Turkish Delight
• Hot Cocoa Bombs
• The Sandra Bandage (see Stargate above)
• Joe Morton's "Mac" and Cheese
• A bowl of Corn Pop (Quiz)s
• Del Taco! Because it's FAST food you can get in Los Angeles! You might say, "Isn't In-N-Out a better choice?" to which I would answer, "NO, IT IS NOT FAST ENOUGH."

NICKELODEON BONUS SNACK

I found this recipe video for edible green slime and, you know what? It doesn't sound too bad!

Okay, it actually sounds TERRIBLE. A much better idea would be to make a giant bowl of green Jell-O and mash it up with some mini marshmallows. I think my four-year-old would have loved that—a perfect treat after scaling the Aggro Crag.

Thanks for reading, drinking, and eating along with us. Tweet your snacks during the Fest, and don't forget to tag your tweets with #fthismoviefest!