2K Replay: CLOSER

Winner for “Best Director” (Mike Nichols) at the AARP Movies for Grownups Awards.

• Best Scene/Moment (tie): The back-to-back scenes of Jude Law getting his comeuppance from Clive Owen and Natalie Portman.

• Best Song (tie): “The Blower’s Daughter” by Damien Rice and “Smack My Bitch Up” by The Prodigy.

• Best Merch: A “Closer (Brown) Movie Promo Shirt (XL) (Never Used)” for $11.00. This shirt looks comfortable! You should get it for the holidays to give to someone special in your life. It’s like saying without saying “Hey, I wanna get Closer with you.”

• Director Grade: Closer was directed by Mike Nichols.
Great Movies: The Graduate
Good Movies: Biloxi Blues, Working Girl, Primary Colors, Closer
OK Movies: Wolf, The Birdcage, Charlie Wilson’s War
Bad Movies: Regarding Henry
Unseen By Me: Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Teach Me!, Catch-22, Carnal Knowledge, The Day of the Dolphin, The Fortune, Gilda Live, Silkwood, Heartburn, Postcards from the Edge, What Planet Are You From?
Overall Grade: B+

• Double It with This 2004 Movie: Ocean’s Twelve

• Year 2004 Movies to Trailer Before Them: Alfie, Garden State, King Arthur

• Color of Night or Closer? Tie.

• Mall Movie? No way. This is prestige territory. I doubt Mike Nichols even knew what a mall was.

• Only in 2004: Natalie Portman as Keyser Soze.

• Scene Stealer: This is tough since they’re all basically leads. I guess Clive Owen. He sort of sucks up all of the oxygen in his scenes.

• I Miss: Relationship dramas for adults.

• I Don’t Miss (tie): Strip clubs and people cheating on me.

• 2004 Crush (tie): Julia Roberts and Natalie Portman.

• 2024 Crush: Natalie Portman.

• What I Thought in 2004: This movie found me at the right time because I was reeling from a breakup when I saw it in 2004 and was happy to be in the company of people who felt just as miserable as I did.

• What I Think in 2024: It holds up really well, which was surprising. It’s one of those cases where a 104-minute movie feels like it’s 45 minutes because the performances are so good and the conversations are interesting. I wish Hollywood still made movies like Closer. It’s almost darkly comedic because the four principal characters are so cruel to each other.