Johnny Showtime: THE ALTO KNIGHTS

 by JB

Last week I was reminded of something our very own Mike Pomaro once said about superhero movies...

At the height of the Marvel boom, Pomaro remarked that if someone had told his younger, comic book-loving self that when he got older there would be a Marvel or DC movie released to movie theaters practically every other week, and that there would be so many of them that he would lose interest in them, HE WOULD NOT HAVE BELIEVED THAT.

I feel similarly about the new Barry Levinson film, The Alto Knights (which for some damn reason, I keep calling The Alito Nights, as if it details the risqué journey of self-discovery and physical pleasure of a certain Supreme Court judge.) If someone had once told me that there would come a time that a new Robert De Niro gangster picture would open in theaters... and I would have zero interest in seeing it? My Scorsese-loving heart would have laughed that person out of the room.

But I dutifully went, perhaps so my beloved readers wouldn’t have to, and I have returned to say that The Alto Knights is a pleasant but bland meal composed entirely of leftovers.

THE PLOT IN BRIEF: Vito Genevese (Robert De Niro) is a recent immigrant in turn-of- the-century Little Italy. He befriends Frank Costello (Also De Niro) and the two embark on a criminal career. They join the local Alto Knights Social Club, a front for gangsters. Rather than face a murder charge, Vito escapes to Italy before World War II, leaving Frank in charge of his criminal empire. Fifteen years later, Vito returns and wants back what is his. That does not go well.

I have searched my brain for why the filmmakers would cast De Niro in both lead roles and use make-up, prosthetics, and camera trickery to convince the audience that he is two separate people. De Niro’s Vito wears glasses and has a higher-pitched voice; at times, it almost seems that De Niro is doing a vocal impression of frequent costar Joe Pesci. Still, it’s simply not convincing. Perhaps the producers paid De Niro so much money to star in their film that they wanted him to be EVERYWHERE YOU LOOKED, but I cannot for the life of me figure out what this adds to the film. It’s just a stunt. At least the extensive de-aging technology in Martin Scorsese’s The Irishman served a purpose. Here, the stunt casting seems to exist to get people curious enough to watch Alto Knights on a streaming service late one night.

And speaking of Scorsese, would you like to see what a Scorsese movie would be like if he didn’t direct it? Now’s your chance. The Alto Knights was directed by Barry Levinson, who directed Bugsy. It was written by Nicolas Pileggi, who wrote Goodfellas. It was produced by Irwin Winkler, who produced Raging Bull. It features Robert De Niro, who starred in both Goodfellas and Raging Bull. What’s missing? Any sense of urgency or unique point of view. There is not one memorable scene or line of dialogue. Not one.

In fact, Levinson and Pileggi seem hard-pressed to even show scenes of crimes. We know what Scorsese’s gangsters do: they hijack trucks, they deal drugs, they rob airports, they distribute stolen goods, and they shoot people in the head. Except for one scene depicting a garroting in silhouette, Levinson’s gangsters basically sit around and yell at each other. A lot.

You would think that this type of thing would be right up director Barry Levinson’s alley. Unfortunately, he's been in career decline for years now, mostly producing made-for-TV true crime pictures: 2021's Dopesick, an expose of the controversial Sackler family pharmaceutical empire; 2018’s Paterno, with Al Pacino as controversial basketball coach Joe Paterno; 2017’s The Wizard of Lies, with De Niro as controversial investment banker Bernie Madoff; 2013’s Phil Spector, with Pacino as the controversial record producer accused of murder; and 2010’s You Don’t Know Jack, with Pacino as controversial doctor Jack Kevorkian.

When exactly did Levinson, the director of Diner, Tin Men, and Rain Man become Mister "Ripped-From-Today’s-Headlines”?

HIGHLIGHTS: I did like the scene where Senator C. Estes Kefauver appears on the television quiz show What’s My Line?, and the filmmakers digitally substitute their actor for the real Kefauver. I think that might just say more about my love of What’s My Line? reruns on the Buzzer* cable channel.

Also, to be fair, I very much enjoyed the performances of the two female leads. I had never seen Will and Grace’s Debra Messing in a drama before. Katherine Narducci is a force of nature. Though they are both cast as “the wives,” I thought both were excellent and wish their parts had been expanded. You may remember Narducci from The Sopranos; she played Chef Artie Bucco’s wife, Charmaine. She was also Joe Pesci’s wife in The Irishman. Clearly, she has been typecast as “mobster’s wife.”

This film has no clear reason to exist. I keep returning to my earlier metaphor of The Alto Knights as a plate of leftovers. This film has nothing in it that earlier gangster films have not done better. Indeed, the entire enterprise seems designed to simply remind us of other films that we have enjoyed more. Go watch one of those!

Like leftovers, The Alto Knights might be pleasant. It might be moderately tasty. But there’s nothing here you look forward to—and you've definitely seen it before.


*"Buzzer: It's 3AM Somewhere!"
"Buzzer: An Old Man's Best Friend."
"Buzzer: Is it Time for My Shows Yet?"
"Buzzer: Because You're Too Tired for Colors."
"Buzzer: When You're Missing Betty White."