Director Essentials: Ron Howard

Today's Director Essentials entry looks at Ron Howard, who has built a huge career and won Oscars for being professional, commercial and utterly generic. The suggestion comes from Tom K., who wishes Happy Days was still on the air.

If you've got a director you want to nominate for Director Essentials, suggest him or her (because women can do anything boys can do if they put their minds to it) on our Facebook page or in the comments below.

F These Sophomore Slumps

 Did you guys see Moon? That movie was awesome, and made even more awesome by virtue of the fact that it was director Duncan Jones' first film. We can all be more than just David Bowie's son if we put our minds to it. His second movie, Source Code, opens this week, and we're all hoping it's not a drastic step backwards. After all, no Sam Rockwell. Let's F some past second movies that were disappointing.

F This Movie! - Sucker Punch

Patrick and Doug escape to a fantasy three levels deep, put on lady underpants and fight the dragon to engage in a spoiler-free discussion of visionary director Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch.

F This Movie! - Plan 9 from Outer Space

For the 50th (!) episode of F This Movie!, Patrick and JB use their stupid human minds to defend the so-called worst movie ever made, Ed Wood's Plan 9 from Outer Space.

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (Week of March 21)

Everyone's talking (buzzing?) about the new full-length Captain America: The First Avenger trailer, which was just released. Not me! I mean, sure, if you really WANT to see it (or haven't seen it yet [but I'm assuming you've already seen it), by all means, click here. If you'd rather move on with your life (because there are only so many Marvel-produced [slow down, Marvel!] superhero comic book movies one can handle in a single summer, and Thor already looks like work), please join me as we take a look at some other (worse?) trailers this week.

Director Essentials: Woody Allen

by Patrick Bromley

Today's entry in the Director Essentals series is for the neurotic New York jew in all of us. The suggestion comes from DVD Verdict writer, F This Movie! contributor and Edgar Wright's roommate Erich Asperschlager, whose favorite Woody Allen movie is The Curse of the Jade Scorpion.

Director Essentials: Michael Bay

by Patrick Bromley

F Heads! Today marks the first entry in our new Director Essentials series, in which we pick the essential movies in a single director's filmography. What better way to kick this feature off than with Michael Bay, who is the worst. Thanks to F Head Steve I. for the nomination. We call your bluff, sir.

If you've got a director you want to nominate for Director Essentials, nominate him or her (because women can do anything boys can do if they put their minds to it) on our Facebook page or in the comments below.

F This Movie! - Galaxy Quest

 

By Grabthar's Hammer (and listener request), Patrick and JB discuss the 1999 sci-fi comedy Galaxy Quest, identify what fat guys like and walk the fine line between fandom and Genedom.

 

Download this episode here.

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Also discussed this episode: Sweet Smell of Success (1957), Battle Los Angeles (2011)

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (Week of March 14)

It's been a crazy week here at F This Movie! Our Twitter feed is blowing up (just over 100 followers is good, right?), and Patrick's lists are more popular than ever (LEPRECHAUNS!). Unfortunately, due to some technical glitches, we were unable to post this week's podcast until today, which means this blog post will be sharing space/time with a discussion about Galaxy Quest. The podcast, OBVIOUSLY, is way more important and essential to the site than some stupid weekly roundup of dumb trailers, anyway, so let's just lay to rest any notion that I might, in some small, petty way, be bitter. I'm not bitter. Not at all. Share and share alike. That's an expression right? So, please, enjoy both this shitty summary of movie previews AND Patrick and JB talking about aliens. You're a smart person -- I'm sure you'll manage to do both. OR NOT! If you have to choose just one, please listen to the podcast. Because F these trailers.

F These Movies for St. Patrick's Day

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everyone! Yellow moons. Blue diamonds. Cabbage.

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (Week of March 7)

Ugh. I already regret using "Winning!" as my opening (and only) introductory line last week. Will you ever forgive me? If you don't, I'll sue you for $100,000,000.00.

F This Movie!'s 100th Post!

Today marks the 100th POST on F This Movie! To celebrate, here's a list of 100 awesome movies that remind us why we love movies. Thanks to everyone for listening and reading! Here's to 100 more posts! Or maybe 110! We'll see. Don't get crazy.

Click the 'read more' link below to see the list. It's something new we're trying. Don't get crazy.

F This Movie! - Top Gun

Patrick and Doug write checks their bodies can't cash, eat freshly baked cookies and identify a new species of jungle cat known as the Haverick as they disagree about the 1986 navy recruitment movie known as Top Gun.

Watchin' Trailerz with Doug (Week of February 28)

Winning!

The Tree of Life
Release date: May 27, 2011



Uh, what? Don't get me wrong -- this looks like it might be the most beautifully shot film I've ever seen. But ... what? Director Terrence Malick's movie is described as, "The tale of a Texas boy's journey from the innocence of childhood to his disillusioned adult years as a 'lost soul in the modern world,' and his quest to regain meaning in life." I'm assuming the concept of "less is more" doesn't apply here.

Detention
Release date: TBA



What did I say about tying Dane Cook to a raft and pushing him out to sea? Is NO ONE reading this blog? It's like douche-b Joseph Khan (director of Torque and a shitload of music videos [what are those?]) sat down with his friends and said, "I like Scream. I like The Breakfast Club. How come nobody combined them into one disappointing movie?" Still, Patrick will go see it on opening day. YOU'RE WELCOME

Meek's Cutoff
Release date: April 8, 2011



Remember in grade school when your teacher would take the class to the computer lab for some "home keys" exercises on the bank of beige Apple IIe's? Then, if there was time, she (I'm assuming your teacher was a woman) would let you pick a game to play for the last part of the lesson? The most popular was always Oregon Trail. You'd race to the front of the class to grab the big 5-1/4" floppy disc, beating out some poor sucker who got stuck with Number Munchers or Car Builder. Your friends would gather around as you'd start the game, asking that you name members of your virtual family after them -- Joe, Danny, Scott. As your wagon train made its way across the untamed west, these characters would eventually die off. If you were mean-spirited, you'd name the weakest member of your clan after that girl everyone picked on. Then, when she invariably succumbed to typhoid or snakebite in the first few miles, all the bullies in class would laugh and point. She might cry, and, deep inside, you'd feel bad. Hunting was always exciting, even though you never could control the direction of the gun. If a big, slow bear didn't walk onscreen, your family would have to sell an oxen at the next depot in order to buy some jerky. Unfortunately, there was never enough time to finish the game, so you rarely got to see how it ended. That pretty much describes the trailer for Meek's Cutoff.

F This Movie! - Clerks

Just because Patrick and Doug serve you doesn't mean they like you.

F Nicolas Cage Movies

Sure, Drive Angry 3D is already 3D dead in the 3D water, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be thankful to live in a world in which Nicolas Cage stars in a 3D movie called Drive Angry. It's become hip and ironic to like Nic Cage in recent years -- mostly thanks to his wild inconsistency and terrible choice in material -- but I will always love Nic Cage with total sincerity. No one can deliver a line like him. Let's F the crazy, balding sonovabitch.

1. Honeymoon in Vegas (1992) - "Or what? I'll be arrested? Put in AIRPORT JAIL?"

2. The Wicker Man (2006) - "NOT THE BEEEEES!!!"

3. The Rock (1996) - "How in the name of ZEUS'S BUTTHOLE did you get out of your cell?"

4. Wild at Heart (1990) - "I had a boner with a capital O."

5. Matchstick Men (2003) - "Have you ever been dragged onto the sidewalk and beaten 'till you PISSED BLOOD??"

6. Knowing (2009) - "THE CAVES WON'T SAVE US!"

7. Con Air (1997) - "Put the bunny back in the box."

8. Gone in 60 Seconds (2000) - "Ok. Let's ride."

9. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009) - "You fucks. I hate you! I hate you both!"

10. Vampire's Kiss (1988) - "A! B! C! D! E! F! G! H! I! J! K! L! M! N! O! P! Q! R! S! T! U! V! W! X! Y! Z!"