by Patrick Bromley
Last year after his annual trip to Wonderfest in Louisville, JB wrote about being a Monster Kid -- someone who fell in love with monsters at a young age and continues to love them to this day. All of us who look forward to Scary Movie Month all year long are Monster Kids, too, but we are so seldom represented on film. That's especially puzzling because the directors who make horror movies are often Monster Kids themselves.
Occasionally, though, one makes his or her way to the big screen. Here are five of the best Monster Kids in horror movie history:
The Funhouse (1981) Unlike the other Monster Kids on this list, Joey Harper is a dick. I mean, not totally, but he's not the hero and makes a lot of dick moves -- including busting in on his naked teenage sister in the first scene and scaring her with a rubber knife while she showers. Also, he doesn't even try to help when she and her friends are being attacked and murdered by a homicidal monster. You know, dick moves like that. To be fair, his older sister did promise she would "get him back" for the shower business, so I guess his fear of her recourse justifies letting her die, right? Up to that point, he's a pretty great movie Monster Kid -- his room is covered in Universal Monster posters, he has a collection of rubber masks and an obvious affection for Psycho. He also seems a little sad and lonely wandering around the carnival all by himself, and believably scared the way a kid would be when he realizes he snuck away from home and is now all by himself. He's also a Monster Kid in a movie made by Monster Kids, so's he's the only character to make it out ok.
Tom Holland's great Fright Night: he's making out with his girlfriend, but keeps trying to sneak a peek at the TV showing an episode of "Fright Night," the weekly creature feature hosted by his idol, washed up horror actor Peter Vincent (Roddy McDowall). He would rather watch a horror movie than get lucky! Who among us has not face a similar dilemma? Just kidding. Most of us only had the "horror movie" option. AS IT SHOULD BE. But Charlie Brewster is like the synthesis of Gene from Matinee and Sean from Monster Squad -- he's a horror movie nut who gets to befriend a real-life icon, but who also uses the knowledge built from years of watching monster movies to kill some real fucking vampires. PLUS he does eventually get lucky. We all want to be Charlie Brewster. He's so cool.