When I am crushing on an actress in a movie, I can concentrate on little else. I feel guilty about that. I lose track of plot. My bearings are thrown off as to whether or not the actress is giving a good performance. This leads me to some questions.
Am I being sexist or lascivious? Should I be more objective? Should I be acknowledging these feelings when assessing a performance or a movie itself or should I push my natural feelings aside? In short, how should I deal with SKOWs?
SKOWs can lift the quality of a movie by nature of their sheer presence. You know those 2-1/2 star movies where you can’t decide if they are good (3 star) or just OK (2 star)? SKOWs can be the tie breaker that tips that scale. But as I said before, that makes me feel guilty because I might not be paying attention to the right things. After all, I don’t get railroaded by how great Ralph Fiennes is in The Grand Budapest Hotel, so why should I for Shailene Woodley in The Fault in Our Stars? Shouldn’t I judge a performance from an actress I’m crushing on in the same manner as I do from someone I am not?
Transformers in the theaters, I remember thinking that Megan Fox was so sexy that all I wanted was to watch her. I didn’t give a damn about robots in disguise anymore. Fuck my inner child! I’m a man, baby, and I have desires. I just wanted a split screen where one half was the movie and the other half was just Megan Fox doing stuff, no matter how mundane. Another example was the first time I saw Margot Robbie in About Time. I had trouble looking at the screen almost because she was so beautiful. She made the attractive Rachel McAdams resemble a hobo.
Before I wrote this column, I asked Patrick if I should write it for fear of being off-putting or slimy to our female readers. His answer was a breath of fresh air. He said “Isn’t that a part of why we go to the movies? Because we fall in love with movie stars and get to see their faces projected on huge screens?” Yes, it is Bromley! Yes it is! Thank you for validating my distraction with SKOWs. After talking with Patrick, I was feeling pretty good about no longer feeling guilty on the subject. I decided to test it with one other person: my father, you know…Mr. Riske. He reminded me of his answer when I once asked him how to tell if someone is giving a good performance in a movie. He answered “Are they interesting or fun to watch?” And that’s all it is. SKOWs are interesting and fun to watch. So if you are seeing an actor or an actress and think that he/she’s cute, sexy, charismatic funny, sweet, irresistible or simply just interesting for one reason or another, factor those feelings into your take on their performance. They are honest feelings and it would be silly to ignore them.
Where’s the Tylenol?
Your turn! How do you feel about SKOWs? Who are yours?