• I’m not a Transporter purist but it seems kind of dumb to continue the franchise without Jason Statham. This new guy doesn’t look to be all that charismatic.
• The Perfect Guy looks laughable and I will see the shit out of it. I hope it’s nuts just like The Boy Next Door. Remember that piece of shit?
• I’m really rooting for M. Night Shyamalan with The Visit and early word is encouraging. Yay!
• Alison Brie looks super foxy in the trailer for Sleeping with Other People but I’m worried about the movie because her co-star is Jason Sudeikis and it’s directed by Leslye Headland who made the awful Bachelorette and About Last Night.
• I would be super excited for Everest based on the cast (which includes Jake Gyllenhaal and Keira Knightley) except it’s directed by the same man who brought us 2 Guns and Contraband.
• The trailer for Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I’m so done with dystopian YA movies.
• I really hope Black Mass is more than a Johnny Depp dress-up party.
• Emily Blunt kicking ass in a new Denis Villeneuve movie? Hells yeah, Sicario!
• I can’t take Tobey Maguire seriously in any dramatic performance thus I will not be seeing Pawn Sacrifice.
• I’m equal parts scared and excited to watch Eli Roth’s latest, The Green Inferno.
• 99 Homes doesn’t look all that great but it has Andrew Garfield, Michael Shannon and Laura Dern so cast trumps trailer in this case.
• I’ve heard good things about Mississippi Grind but I really don’t want to see Ryan Reynolds in any more movies. I don’t know why I have such a problem with that guy, but I do.
• I will totally see The Walk because it’s the new Zemeckis movie but Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s French accent (from evidence of the trailer) could sure use some work.
• I’m down for Legend with its promise of two Tom Hardy’s for the price of one.
• I want to see The Martian but I hate the part in the trailer where Matt Damon says “Eat your heart out, Neil Armstrong.” I hope Damon sciences the shit out of that movie.
• Steve Jobs looks dope.
• Masterminds does not.
• Seriously, who is going to see Pan? I can’t imagine anyone going. That movie will make negative dollars.
• Goosebumps should be this generation’s Hocus Pocus but it won’t be. It just looks like a bunch of CGI crap.
• I’m very excited about Crimson Peak although I’m worried it will just be a lot of style over scares and substance.
• I love the prospect of a re-teaming of Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks, but honestly Bridge of Spies looks really boring to me.
• There is a very good chance that Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension will be way better than The Marked Ones and still be a terrible movie. Can this series just end already?
• I will see any movie with Vin Diesel nowadays. Case in point: The Last Witch Hunter.
• I still don’t believe that Jem and the Holograms is a real movie that is actually going to be released in theaters.
• Rock the Kasbah looks like it was made in 1988 and is just now being released.
• I hope I don’t get burnt on Burnt like I did on Bradley Cooper’s last movie, Aloha, which I still have PTSD over.
Your turn! What movies are you looking forward to (or dreading) this September or October?