Monday, August 24, 2015

Riske Business: Random Thoughts About 2015 Movies (September - October)

by Adam Riske
With the “good” movies on the horizon and #ScaryMovieMonth just around the corner, Fall is my favorite time of year for movies. Here are my initial thoughts on the upcoming slate.

• I’m not a Transporter purist but it seems kind of dumb to continue the franchise without Jason Statham. This new guy doesn’t look to be all that charismatic.

The Perfect Guy looks laughable and I will see the shit out of it. I hope it’s nuts just like The Boy Next Door. Remember that piece of shit?

• I’m really rooting for M. Night Shyamalan with The Visit and early word is encouraging. Yay!

• Alison Brie looks super foxy in the trailer for Sleeping with Other People but I’m worried about the movie because her co-star is Jason Sudeikis and it’s directed by Leslye Headland who made the awful Bachelorette and About Last Night.

• I would be super excited for Everest based on the cast (which includes Jake Gyllenhaal and Keira Knightley) except it’s directed by the same man who brought us 2 Guns and Contraband.

• The trailer for Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I’m so done with dystopian YA movies.

• I really hope Black Mass is more than a Johnny Depp dress-up party.

• Emily Blunt kicking ass in a new Denis Villeneuve movie? Hells yeah, Sicario!

• I can’t take Tobey Maguire seriously in any dramatic performance thus I will not be seeing Pawn Sacrifice.
• I didn’t see the first one and I have no plans to see Hotel Transylvania 2.

• But for some reason I want to see The Intern. I can’t even explain that one to myself.

• I’m equal parts scared and excited to watch Eli Roth’s latest, The Green Inferno.

99 Homes doesn’t look all that great but it has Andrew Garfield, Michael Shannon and Laura Dern so cast trumps trailer in this case.

• I’ve heard good things about Mississippi Grind but I really don’t want to see Ryan Reynolds in any more movies. I don’t know why I have such a problem with that guy, but I do.

• I will totally see The Walk because it’s the new Zemeckis movie but Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s French accent (from evidence of the trailer) could sure use some work.

• I’m down for Legend with its promise of two Tom Hardy’s for the price of one.

• I want to see The Martian but I hate the part in the trailer where Matt Damon says “Eat your heart out, Neil Armstrong.” I hope Damon sciences the shit out of that movie.

Steve Jobs looks dope.

Masterminds does not.

• Seriously, who is going to see Pan? I can’t imagine anyone going. That movie will make negative dollars.
• I can’t wait to see Knock Knock with Keanu Reeves. Hopefully it continues his hot streak after John Wick.

Goosebumps should be this generation’s Hocus Pocus but it won’t be. It just looks like a bunch of CGI crap.

• I’m very excited about Crimson Peak although I’m worried it will just be a lot of style over scares and substance.

• I love the prospect of a re-teaming of Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks, but honestly Bridge of Spies looks really boring to me.

• There is a very good chance that Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension will be way better than The Marked Ones and still be a terrible movie. Can this series just end already?

• I will see any movie with Vin Diesel nowadays. Case in point: The Last Witch Hunter.

• I still don’t believe that Jem and the Holograms is a real movie that is actually going to be released in theaters.

Rock the Kasbah looks like it was made in 1988 and is just now being released.

• I hope I don’t get burnt on Burnt like I did on Bradley Cooper’s last movie, Aloha, which I still have PTSD over.
Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse looks like it could be fun. And it has Tye Sheridan, who’s pretty awesome. Even in The Forger.

Your turn! What movies are you looking forward to (or dreading) this September or October?

44 comments:

  1. The Martain, black mass and Frankstien are the only things that have me excited. Perfect Gyy looks like a fun movie but I feel like the trailer showed everything. I keep telling people to imagine if that just showed Michael Ealy as this great guy in the trailer and save everything else for the movie. It's risky but it would of been a great surprise. Most of the other movies I'll see cause that's what I do but I'm not very excited about them.

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  2. I forgot the visit. Although I think I know where it's going to go I'm still very much interested in seeing it. This is first in a long for me with a Shyamalan movie

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  3. I've seen the trailer for Black Mass before the last 3 movies I went to see and I'm pretty excited for it. It's good to see Depp not in some type of ridiculous makeup or costume...ok he might still have some ridiculous makeup, but at least he's not Jack Sparrow, The Mad Hatter, Willy Wonka, or whatever he was suppsoed ot be in the Lone Ranger. I like Depp when he's in crime dramas like Public Enemies or one of my favorites of his Donnie Brasco. Let's hope this one lives up to the hype.

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    1. I agree. Depp needs to take a break from the pirate movies and Tim Burton too for that matter. I like when he plays the tough guy like In Public Enemies and Donnie Brasco. Hell I even like Blow.

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    2. Blow was great, I don't care what anyone says, love that movie.

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  4. Depending on their german start dates, I will surely see The visit, Everest, Maze Runner 2, Black mass, Sicario, 99 homes, Legend, The martian, Knock knock and The last witch hunter as soon as possible in my preferred theater.
    Without great reviews or endorsement by you guys here, I almost surely will never ever see The perfect guy, Hotel Transylvania 2, The intern, Masterminds, Goosebumps, Paranormal Activity and Jem and the Holograms.
    The rest is ok on DVD or BR.

    Maybe I have to add Roland Emmerichs Stonewall, even if the trailer doesn´t look very promising.
    I`m also interested in The Keeping Room, Viktor Frankenstein and Mike "Oculus" Flanagan´s Before I wake.

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    1. Completely forgot about Sicario. Hope it gets a wide release. Haven't seen one trailer for it in my trips to the movies.

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  5. Negative dollars!

    I totally just stopped in the street this morning when I saw a billboard for Black Mass. Joel Edgerton, Benedict Cumberbatch and Kevin Bacon in one movie are enough for me. Surely Depp can't screw it up with a cast like that?But too bad I just realized it said Dakota JOHNSON, not FANNING. Sad.

    Agree on The Walk, Ryan Reynolds and Tye Sheridan. I couldn't be more bummed about Jem and the Holograms. They had a chance to make something amazing with a premise like the original. Kinda want to see Mistress America (it's trailer is playing before every single YouTube video I watch). I think I got overly pressured by friends to see Baumbachs movies after the Squid and the Whale, like Frances Ha ("you have to see it you're just like her") and got scared away. But this looks less hipster, more normal. I have high hopes!

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  6. Movie I'm most looking forward to is The Editor.

    Others in my watchlist are Hellions, Blood Punch, The Incident, POD, III, Pink Zone, Goodnight Mommy, The Frontier, Deathgasm, Shut In, Tale of Tales, Sun Choke, Some Kind of Hate, The Final Girls, Cooties and Synchronicity to name a few.

    Both Bridge of Spies and Steve Jobs look super boring to me. I'm with you on The Walk but I can't help but wonder why because Man on Wire was great.

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    1. Adam Riske and I saw Hellions, Sun Choke and Some Kind of Hate this weekend. I would look forward to Sun Choke.

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    2. Awww man, Bruce McDonald blew it, huh?! That's too bad. That's awesome you guys got to see those flicks! I wish Wash. DC would step up it's game with festivals.

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    3. There's stuff to like in the movie -- it's not terrible -- but it's kind of a mess.

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    4. Hellions and Some Kind of Hate have good first acts and then fall off the map. I'm thinking more and more about Sun Choke since I saw it.

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    5. Cheers for the heads up. Cooties and Deathgasm are on my list too, im wondering is the Final girls Chaybee mentioned another film after Final girl?

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    6. Yep - this one http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2118624/?ref_=fn_al_tt_3

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  7. I'm SO optimistic about Bridge of Spies. How the hell could a movie co-written by the Coen brothers, directed by Steven Spielberg, and starring Tom Hanks be anything but glorious? That being said, Watch my expectations be way, way too high. Oh well, I'm still hopeful.

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  8. I agree that The Perfect Guy does look laughable, but I have a lot of respect for the trailer that I saw before Straight Outta Compton because it had no dialogue at all. You don't see that much anymore and it struck a chord with me, I'm willing to give the movie a chance based almost solely on that.

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    1. Possible cynical jokes:
      -Maybe they're hiding how great the dialogue will be!
      -It worked so well for Battle: Los Angeles!
      -Paul W S Anderson is taking it to the next level by making whole movies without dialogue!

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    2. I feel like perfect guy is this years no good deed.

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    3. Why is that not on the poster?

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  9. Love stuff like The Perfect Guy/The Boy Next Door. Always chasing that Obsessed high. "SHE TOUCHED MY CHILD? IMMA CALL YOU BACK"

    How can you think Pan will flop? Super bankable Native American actreuse Rooney Mara's in it! (Funny how racist piece of shit movies like Exodus keep flopping, yet somehow executives never learn. When it's a female-led movie however they take immediate notice.)

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    1. WHAT?! Please don't tell me that.

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    2. I kind of expected that with the subject matter and plus Roth is kind of insane in his own way.

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  11. Oh, how could I forget, I'm really curious about Don Cheadle's Miles Davis flick.

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    1. Me too. What's that called? Does it have a release date?

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    2. Miles Ahead - Looks like Oct. 10th at the NY Film Festival but not seeing a national release (if it's even going to get one).

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  12. I know we dont do shows but I gotta give a mention to Ash Vs Evil Dead, im so excited I might actually pee in my pants ;)

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  13. Pan will get my dollars! For some reason I really love the whole 'Peter Pan' thing. Hook rules.

    I can barely contain my excitement for Crimson Peak.

    Everest is probably good but I've seen the trailer in theaters so many times that I can't stand it. I have it memorized. I don't know if I can see the movie for a few years.

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  14. "Aloha will be the best romantic comedy of the summer." Adam Riske

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    1. lol Actually I dont know what it's competition was, but it sadly might be true.

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    2. Yup, I forgot about Trainwreck. For some reason all I could think of was The Longest Ride.

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    3. Was Hot Pursuit a romantic comedy? It certainly looked steamy.

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    4. yup Trainwreck won hands down...most I've laughed at the movies since Team America!

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  15. Agents of SHIELD, Arrow, The Flash, The Muppets, ... eh, what? :P

    Apart from Bridge of Spies and maybe Black Mass, sounds like a pretty dry two months at the movies.

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  16. Just thought I'd mention that the weekend open thread has been great lately. I think leaving it open was a great decision!

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  17. I saw a sneak preview of Knock Knock & it's bad...real bad. I loved John Wick but Keanu seemed like he wasn't into it or maybe just miscast. I don't know what happened but it's a good idea that doesn't work.

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  18. probably the most annoying thing to me about the transporter: refueled is that the new guy is playing the same character. if ever there was a character and franchise that you could easily extend with a brand new character it's the personality-less frank martin who is real good at driving. even that terrible bourne movie had the good sense to not call renner's character Jason Bourne.

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  19. I don't know if they'll get US releases this year (or at all) but Tokyo Tribe and The Assassin are my two most anticipated movies.

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  20. Woo-ee. Thank you for mentioning The Perfect Guy. Almost missed some guilty trailer thrills the likes of which I have not known since J. Lo's Boy Next Door. I do hope you'll write a thorough review after seeing that one.

    My hopes are high for Crimson Peak and Black Mass and I hope that neither trample my heart with any shittiness.

    Seems like I have many more trailers to peruse, though I'll be pinching pennies next month given the rental investments needed for a proper October.

    Anyone want to weigh in on which pre-scary-movie-month flicks will be most worth a theater viewing?

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