Ronny Yu's FREDDY VS. JASON (2003) on DVD."MST3K's" Joel Robinson was right: it stinks!
DON'T GO IN THE HOUSE, aka THE BURNING (1980) on Amazon Prime for the first time.Does flamethrower-wielding psycho really need gasoline torture?ORNorman Bates' retarded, pathetic loser cousin, Donny.
John Capenter's The Thing (1982)Imagine... Keri Russel: MacReady. Larry David: Childs.
Lucio Fulci's CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD (1980) in 35mm at NYC Anthology Film Archive's 'The Genere Terrorist: Lucio Fulci' Retrospective.That took a lot of guts... HIYOOOO!
House of the Devil (2009)I'm never calling that pizza place again
Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016) This should suck. Why doesn't this suck?
Shadow of the Vampire (2000)We get it. Willem Dafoe is sexy.
The Other (1972)So classy that it barely makes sense.
Herencia diabólica (1994)Black Devil Doll from Hell's Mexican doppelgänger!
Misery (1990)No pockets? Shove it in your crotch!
Audition (Takashi Miike 1999)Looks like you got the part, lady
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)I still know you're a fucking idiot
The House That Screamed (1970)Why isn't this more popular? It's good!
Pyscho III (1986)Hmmm sleaze in Pyscho, doesn't suit it.
Bram Stokers Dracula (1992)Its all you can eat production design.
Misery (1990)Not enough horror films say cockadoodie, shame.
Survival of the Dead (2010)"Hey, it's better than diary!" - Mr. Brightside
Inferno (1980)It's always books that start the insanity.
Spring (2015)Eat. Pray. Love. Fuck an octopus monster.
The Guest (2014)Did someone order a side of grenades?
Ginger Snaps (2000)Soree aboot all that werewolf stuff, eh.
The Monster Squad (1987)Perfect antidote after a weekend of Saws
The Strangers (2008)That ice cream's definitely melted by now.
Bride of Chucky (1998)Nice to see Universal embracing their legacy.
The Church (1989)Boring...but there's a demon sex scene.
Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist (2005) Are you serious with the CGI hyenas?
Cub (2014)Why you gotta be like that Sam?!?
The Blob (1988)This is not how Pepto Bismol works.
The Innkeepers. (2011) Ti WestWest: great buildups lead to unimaginative climaxes.
Dr. Giggles (1992)Little to care about except medical puns.
Critters 2 (1988)Crite-ball: It'll knock your socks ... err ... skin off.("Err" isn't a word, is it?)
The Silenced (2015) slow burn turns into batshit crazy. recommended.
train to Busan (2016) safer to take the bus to Trainsan
Grotesque (2009)Title is appropriate. It's a real stinker.
Nina Forever (2015)...but more commonly during the sexy time!
Exorcist: The Beginning (2004) Harlin thinks he's remaking Indiana Jones, apparently.
Don't Breathe (2016)So loud that even I would wake.
Bone Tomahawk(2015)Don't piss off the local indigenous tribe.
Devil(2010)Going up....more like down...mwahahaha.
Here's the revised seven word review....Devin(2010)Going up....more like down....*laughs maniacally*
The Shallows (2016)Mom, couldn't you just have picked ClubMed?
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)Round yon virgin? There's no virgins here...
Death Proof (2007)Locker room talk makes Stuntman Mike uncomfortable.
1408 (2007)Better in the theater, but still good
Hocus Pocus (1993)It's better than most Best Picture winners
Dreamcatcher (2003)The Big Chill with extraterrestrial anal leeches.
Black Mirror - Season 3 (I know...kind of a cheat)All seasons are essential viewing. Don't sleep.
Saw 3D: The Final Chapter (2010)Shocking twist: This Jigsaw's missing some pieces.
Jaws 2 (1978)Now everyone scream until Jaws goes deaf!
Final Destination 2 (2003)This franchise is my greatest discovery this month.
DeathgasmCan't find this title anywhere in Walmart.
Chopping Mall (1986)Air ducts were safe...AND STILL ARE!!!orGreat shout-out to "The Thing" (1951)
Exorcist III (The Director's Cut)Better. Still problems. My favorite Exorcist movie.
It Follows (2015)It Follows you, but does it retweet?
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)Unrelenting, unapologetic, unafraid, unchained, unblemished, unmatched, unforgettable
Dracula's Daughter (1936) Did they ever say who Mom was?
Pet Sematary (1989)Prefer bubbles in my bath, not rats.
Child's Play (1988)Hey wait, I thought there were whales?
Dracula (1931)The options are mind control or indigestion.
Videodrome (1983)Sex and brain tumors? Thanks snuff film.
Scanners (1991)Effects, special; actor playing main character, "special"?
Lights OutLike an Americanized remake of The Babadook?
SouthboundThose floaty skeleton things seem friendly enough.
Door Into Silence (1991)Fulci's last film. John Savage drives. Sad!
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)"Come back soon, won't you? Sooooon!!!" (Subtle) ORDisneyland pirate used same come-hither leg move.