Ronny Yu's FREDDY VS. JASON (2003) on DVD."MST3K's" Joel Robinson was right: it stinks!
DON'T GO IN THE HOUSE, aka THE BURNING (1980) on Amazon Prime for the first time.Does flamethrower-wielding psycho really need gasoline torture?ORNorman Bates' retarded, pathetic loser cousin, Donny.
John Capenter's The Thing (1982)Imagine... Keri Russel: MacReady. Larry David: Childs.
Lucio Fulci's CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD (1980) in 35mm at NYC Anthology Film Archive's 'The Genere Terrorist: Lucio Fulci' Retrospective.That took a lot of guts... HIYOOOO!
House of the Devil (2009)I'm never calling that pizza place again
Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016) This should suck. Why doesn't this suck?
Shadow of the Vampire (2000)We get it. Willem Dafoe is sexy.
The Other (1972)So classy that it barely makes sense.
Herencia diabólica (1994)Black Devil Doll from Hell's Mexican doppelgänger!
Misery (1990)No pockets? Shove it in your crotch!
Audition (Takashi Miike 1999)Looks like you got the part, lady
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)I still know you're a fucking idiot
The House That Screamed (1970)Why isn't this more popular? It's good!
Pyscho III (1986)Hmmm sleaze in Pyscho, doesn't suit it.
Bram Stokers Dracula (1992)Its all you can eat production design.
Misery (1990)Not enough horror films say cockadoodie, shame.
Survival of the Dead (2010)"Hey, it's better than diary!" - Mr. Brightside
Inferno (1980)It's always books that start the insanity.
Spring (2015)Eat. Pray. Love. Fuck an octopus monster.
The Guest (2014)Did someone order a side of grenades?
Ginger Snaps (2000)Soree aboot all that werewolf stuff, eh.
The Monster Squad (1987)Perfect antidote after a weekend of Saws
The Strangers (2008)That ice cream's definitely melted by now.
Bride of Chucky (1998)Nice to see Universal embracing their legacy.
The Church (1989)Boring...but there's a demon sex scene.
Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist (2005) Are you serious with the CGI hyenas?
Cub (2014)Why you gotta be like that Sam?!?
The Blob (1988)This is not how Pepto Bismol works.
The Innkeepers. (2011) Ti WestWest: great buildups lead to unimaginative climaxes.
Dr. Giggles (1992)Little to care about except medical puns.
Critters 2 (1988)Crite-ball: It'll knock your socks ... err ... skin off.("Err" isn't a word, is it?)
The Silenced (2015) slow burn turns into batshit crazy. recommended.
train to Busan (2016) safer to take the bus to Trainsan
Grotesque (2009)Title is appropriate. It's a real stinker.
Nina Forever (2015)...but more commonly during the sexy time!
Exorcist: The Beginning (2004) Harlin thinks he's remaking Indiana Jones, apparently.
Don't Breathe (2016)So loud that even I would wake.
Bone Tomahawk(2015)Don't piss off the local indigenous tribe.
Devil(2010)Going up....more like down...mwahahaha.
Here's the revised seven word review....Devin(2010)Going up....more like down....*laughs maniacally*
The Shallows (2016)Mom, couldn't you just have picked ClubMed?
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)Round yon virgin? There's no virgins here...
Death Proof (2007)Locker room talk makes Stuntman Mike uncomfortable.
1408 (2007)Better in the theater, but still good
Hocus Pocus (1993)It's better than most Best Picture winners
Dreamcatcher (2003)The Big Chill with extraterrestrial anal leeches.
Black Mirror - Season 3 (I know...kind of a cheat)All seasons are essential viewing. Don't sleep.
Saw 3D: The Final Chapter (2010)Shocking twist: This Jigsaw's missing some pieces.
Jaws 2 (1978)Now everyone scream until Jaws goes deaf!
Final Destination 2 (2003)This franchise is my greatest discovery this month.
DeathgasmCan't find this title anywhere in Walmart.
Chopping Mall (1986)Air ducts were safe...AND STILL ARE!!!orGreat shout-out to "The Thing" (1951)
Exorcist III (The Director's Cut)Better. Still problems. My favorite Exorcist movie.
It Follows (2015)It Follows you, but does it retweet?
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)Unrelenting, unapologetic, unafraid, unchained, unblemished, unmatched, unforgettable
Dracula's Daughter (1936) Did they ever say who Mom was?
Pet Sematary (1989)Prefer bubbles in my bath, not rats.
Child's Play (1988)Hey wait, I thought there were whales?
Dracula (1931)The options are mind control or indigestion.
Videodrome (1983)Sex and brain tumors? Thanks snuff film.
Scanners (1991)Effects, special; actor playing main character, "special"?
Lights OutLike an Americanized remake of The Babadook?
SouthboundThose floaty skeleton things seem friendly enough.
Door Into Silence (1991)Fulci's last film. John Savage drives. Sad!
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)"Come back soon, won't you? Sooooon!!!" (Subtle) ORDisneyland pirate used same come-hither leg move.
Ronny Yu's FREDDY VS. JASON (2003) on DVD.
ReplyDelete"MST3K's" Joel Robinson was right: it stinks!
DON'T GO IN THE HOUSE, aka THE BURNING (1980) on Amazon Prime for the first time.
ReplyDeleteDoes flamethrower-wielding psycho really need gasoline torture?
OR
Norman Bates' retarded, pathetic loser cousin, Donny.
John Capenter's The Thing (1982)
ReplyDeleteImagine... Keri Russel: MacReady. Larry David: Childs.
Lucio Fulci's CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD (1980) in 35mm at NYC Anthology Film Archive's 'The Genere Terrorist: Lucio Fulci' Retrospective.
ReplyDeleteThat took a lot of guts... HIYOOOO!
House of the Devil (2009)
ReplyDeleteI'm never calling that pizza place again
Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)
ReplyDeleteThis should suck. Why doesn't this suck?
Shadow of the Vampire (2000)
ReplyDeleteWe get it. Willem Dafoe is sexy.
The Other (1972)
ReplyDeleteSo classy that it barely makes sense.
Herencia diabólica (1994)
ReplyDeleteBlack Devil Doll from Hell's Mexican doppelgänger!
Misery (1990)
ReplyDeleteNo pockets? Shove it in your crotch!
Audition (Takashi Miike 1999)
ReplyDeleteLooks like you got the part, lady
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998)
ReplyDeleteI still know you're a fucking idiot
The House That Screamed (1970)
ReplyDeleteWhy isn't this more popular? It's good!
Pyscho III (1986)
ReplyDeleteHmmm sleaze in Pyscho, doesn't suit it.
Bram Stokers Dracula (1992)
ReplyDeleteIts all you can eat production design.
Misery (1990)
ReplyDeleteNot enough horror films say cockadoodie, shame.
Survival of the Dead (2010)
ReplyDelete"Hey, it's better than diary!" - Mr. Brightside
Inferno (1980)
ReplyDeleteIt's always books that start the insanity.
Spring (2015)
ReplyDeleteEat. Pray. Love. Fuck an octopus monster.
The Guest (2014)
ReplyDeleteDid someone order a side of grenades?
Ginger Snaps (2000)
ReplyDeleteSoree aboot all that werewolf stuff, eh.
The Monster Squad (1987)
ReplyDeletePerfect antidote after a weekend of Saws
The Strangers (2008)
ReplyDeleteThat ice cream's definitely melted by now.
Bride of Chucky (1998)
ReplyDeleteNice to see Universal embracing their legacy.
The Church (1989)
ReplyDeleteBoring...but there's a demon sex scene.
Dominion: Prequel to the Exorcist (2005)
ReplyDeleteAre you serious with the CGI hyenas?
Cub (2014)
ReplyDeleteWhy you gotta be like that Sam?!?
The Blob (1988)
ReplyDeleteThis is not how Pepto Bismol works.
The Innkeepers. (2011) Ti West
ReplyDeleteWest: great buildups lead to unimaginative climaxes.
Dr. Giggles (1992)
ReplyDeleteLittle to care about except medical puns.
Critters 2 (1988)
ReplyDeleteCrite-ball: It'll knock your socks ... err ... skin off.
("Err" isn't a word, is it?)
The Silenced (2015)
ReplyDeleteslow burn turns into batshit crazy. recommended.
train to Busan (2016)
ReplyDeletesafer to take the bus to Trainsan
Grotesque (2009)
ReplyDeleteTitle is appropriate. It's a real stinker.
Nina Forever (2015)
ReplyDelete...but more commonly during the sexy time!
Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)
ReplyDeleteHarlin thinks he's remaking Indiana Jones, apparently.
Don't Breathe (2016)
ReplyDeleteSo loud that even I would wake.
Bone Tomahawk(2015)
ReplyDeleteDon't piss off the local indigenous tribe.
Devil(2010)
ReplyDeleteGoing up....more like down...mwahahaha.
Here's the revised seven word review....
DeleteDevin(2010)
Going up....more like down....*laughs maniacally*
The Shallows (2016)
ReplyDeleteMom, couldn't you just have picked ClubMed?
Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)
ReplyDeleteRound yon virgin? There's no virgins here...
Death Proof (2007)
ReplyDeleteLocker room talk makes Stuntman Mike uncomfortable.
1408 (2007)
ReplyDeleteBetter in the theater, but still good
Shadow of the Vampire (2000)
ReplyDeleteWe get it. Willem Dafoe is sexy.
Hocus Pocus (1993)
ReplyDeleteIt's better than most Best Picture winners
Dreamcatcher (2003)
ReplyDeleteThe Big Chill with extraterrestrial anal leeches.
Black Mirror - Season 3 (I know...kind of a cheat)
ReplyDeleteAll seasons are essential viewing. Don't sleep.
Saw 3D: The Final Chapter (2010)
ReplyDeleteShocking twist: This Jigsaw's missing some pieces.
Jaws 2 (1978)
ReplyDeleteNow everyone scream until Jaws goes deaf!
Final Destination 2 (2003)
ReplyDeleteThis franchise is my greatest discovery this month.
Deathgasm
ReplyDeleteCan't find this title anywhere in Walmart.
Chopping Mall (1986)
ReplyDeleteAir ducts were safe...AND STILL ARE!!!
or
Great shout-out to "The Thing" (1951)
Exorcist III (The Director's Cut)
ReplyDeleteBetter. Still problems. My favorite Exorcist movie.
It Follows (2015)
ReplyDeleteIt Follows you, but does it retweet?
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
ReplyDeleteUnrelenting, unapologetic, unafraid, unchained, unblemished, unmatched, unforgettable
Dracula's Daughter (1936)
ReplyDeleteDid they ever say who Mom was?
Pet Sematary (1989)
ReplyDeletePrefer bubbles in my bath, not rats.
Child's Play (1988)
ReplyDeleteHey wait, I thought there were whales?
Dracula (1931)
ReplyDeleteThe options are mind control or indigestion.
Videodrome (1983)
ReplyDeleteSex and brain tumors? Thanks snuff film.
Scanners (1991)
ReplyDeleteEffects, special; actor playing main character, "special"?
Lights Out
ReplyDeleteLike an Americanized remake of The Babadook?
Southbound
ReplyDeleteThose floaty skeleton things seem friendly enough.
Door Into Silence (1991)
ReplyDeleteFulci's last film. John Savage drives. Sad!
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1931)
ReplyDelete"Come back soon, won't you? Sooooon!!!" (Subtle)
OR
Disneyland pirate used same come-hither leg move.