Monday, April 24, 2017

Riske Business: Midnight Movie Memories

by Adam Riske
Am I too old for this shit?

In my early twenties, I went to many midnight movies as part of my regular filmgoing diet. Nowadays, I’m lucky to be able to stay up past 11pm and that bums me out. It’s like part of my moviegoing DNA has been removed.

The Music Box Theatre is the main source for midnight movies in Chicago, and their schedule usually includes some deep cuts and sentimental favorites that are as eclectic as they are fun. For years, I discovered a variety of cult cinema I had never experienced (Forbidden Zone, Jacob’s Ladder, The Room) as well as rushes of nostalgia from films I saw in theaters during my youth (Jurassic Park, Pulp Fiction, Speed). Part of the allure was going out around 9pm or 10pm, having a few drinks and enjoying a movie. Getting home around 3am was just part of the experience and almost always worth the grogginess that would come the next morning. There was almost always a story to tell either about the wacko movie you saw or the experience you shared alone or with friends in the hours leading up to the show. Shit sometimes goes down before a midnight.
This week was one where I missed this past tradition more than usual. The midnight was Interstella 5555, an animated musical take by Leigi Matsumoto inspired by and featuring the music of Daft Punk’s 2001 album “Discovery.” Even if you haven’t seen the movie (which I hadn’t), you are probably aware of some of the musical sequences, as they were used as music videos for popular songs from the album including “One More Time,” “Digital Love,” and “Harder Better Faster Stronger.” It’s trippy, vibrant, exciting and strange – all the things a midnight movie should be. Because I’m an old man, I bought the film on Blu-ray and watched it on a Sunday morning at home. It was fun, but it would have been great in a dark theater with a killer sound system. But the most important thing it did was it awoke the sleeping midnight beast within me and provided a flood of midnight movie memories. Here are the top three.
• One night, I went with a few friends to see a midnight of Raiders of the Lost Ark. I met up with them a bar about six blocks away from the Music Box Theatre. I knew everyone in my group that night except for one guy. He was a friend of a friend. And he was dressed head-to-toe as Indiana Jones with a whip. It was awkward because we were far enough away from the theater for the rest of the bar patrons to not know that Raiders was playing nearby and that he was dressed for that reason. To them, he probably just looked like some psycho who dresses like an explorer at a local dive bar. For the next hour or so before we headed to the theater, I was very aware of all the dirty looks and stares our table got. It was not the kind of bar where that sort of thing was cute. As we were leaving the bar, Indy took out his whip and started playing around with it, showing off. I knew this would not end well so I took a step backward. It didn’t matter. Motherfucker hit me (not hard, but enough to hurt) with his prop whip. F words were bandied about and I got mad and went home without seeing Raiders. The only way I can describe the sensation of being hit with a whip is demeaning. Dakota Johnson knows what I’m talking about.
• Another example is before I saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit. I went to a fortune teller across the street from the Music Box on a lark. I had time to kill. $20 was paid and I got to ask three questions. I know one of the questions I asked was about relationships. I asked if a girl I liked was someone I would end up with. The fortune teller told me that I had a dark cloud of negative energy hanging over me and that this girl wasn’t the one. I said “How do I get rid of the dark cloud?” She said “You need special black candles, etc., etc.,” which really meant that she wanted more money out of me. I said “I’ll take my chances.” And guess what? I can honestly say my luck with women has been pretty lousy ever since. This is not a case where the fortune teller was wrong. She put a fucking curse on me or something. I had no idea while I was watching Roger Rabbit, but a defining moment in my life had occurred. Fortune tellers suck. She also told me in a past life I was a “toymaker.” I remember hearing this and being shocked, saying “Like Gepetto?” She didn’t smile because she knew my jokes were just exclamations from the recesses of the dark cloud that is my soul.

• The first midnight I ever went to was to see The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which is perfect being that it’s the most heralded midnight experience there is. The story of that experience was half-told in my “Date Night at the Movies” article from earlier this year. I didn’t mention everything. Here’s the other half.

When you go see Rocky Horror at midnight you might get asked by a cast member if you a “Virgin” (aka someone who has never seen Rocky Horror Picture Show before). I was on a date and since I had never seen the movie in a theater before (I had on video), I said that I was a virgin. I thought it would be more fun if my date and I got into the spirit of things. So the cast member marked my face with a “V” written in lipstick. Madness ensued.
Before the show, the people who were there to shadowcast the film asked for any Rocky virgins. I took to the stage. It was me (age 23) and maybe four other guys, all who looked to be 18 to 21 max. They said to take off our shirts so that only our undershirts were showing. The other guys did but I hesitated. My counterparts were wearing the usual white Hanes shirt, but I was wearing a fucking wife-beater undershirt. Stupid mistake. I used to be a macho douche, you see, who liked to show off his muscles. Anyways, I was the only one with chest hair, too, so the fucking hosts really let me have it for that. I said (into the mic) “I’m Jewish. I didn’t have a choice.” Everyone was laughing at me and the cast was all like (in a mocking voice) “I’m Jewish. I’m Jewish.” Total nightmare fuel. But this was really happening. Then the fateful line was uttered by the master of ceremonies “Have you ever mouth fucked a banana, Bar Mitzvah boy?” I became immediately afraid. I looked out to the “Suck that dick!” shouting crowd and then to my date. She was yelling the same thing, I thought. I then had to go to my knees and a banana was smooshed into my face in a way I can only describe as like when a captor realizes they went too far humiliating the captive and then decides to shoot them to make that moment less uncomfortable everyone involved. I walked back to my seat as the film rolled, wiping banana from my face and buttoning my dress shirt. My date turned to me when I sat down and said she was yelling “No, don’t do it!” She laughed and I sighed because I hadn’t blown it. Figuratively and literally. Only at midnight, folks.

What are some of your favorite or weirdest midnight movie memories?

12 comments:

  1. Most of my movie viewing over the last several years tends to take place at midnight since that's usually when movies unlock for testing. My official stance though is that those were all solitary and by the book experiences and that's the story I'm sticking to for as long as I remain with my current employer.

    I did the Rocky Horror thing with on a couple dates back in my younger days though. Absolutely did not do the virgin thing my first time there. It makes for a much less interesting story, but the date went fairly well so it balances out I guess, at least in the short term. We broke up six months later shortly after watching Blade II which is always in the back of my mind whenever I watch it.

    I went to a midnight show of Tupac Resurrection when that came out with a couple good friends of mine and some bottles of Strawberry Hill Boone's Farm wine. Back then they use to sell the full catalog of Boone's Farm flavors at Safeway but now they oddly seem to be relegated to the kind of liquor stores where one might get Mad Dog or Cisco ("liquid crack"). There was a family nearby where we were sitting and the son was probably about 9 or 10 years old. I'd stand in judgement of the parenting involved but it did help me feel less out of place having three other white people in the auditorium. That still ranks up there as one of my top movie-going memories.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This first year of the 30s has been rough on my psyche. Ive fallen asleep at several movies I've went to past 10:00 pm. Some, like Ghost in the Shell I didnt really care that I did. Others, like Rogue One, I immediately went back the next day (in the morning) to see again and stay awake!

    ReplyDelete
  3. i never went to proper midnight shows, like Rocky Horror and other shlock stuff, but one of the most fun i ever had was on the midnight screening of Freddy vs Jason. man that was fun. everybody was there to have fun. everybody laughed together, reacted together, etc. i miss it

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I remember going to a 10am show on opening day of Freddy Vs Jason and having the greatest time ever because it was hundreds of die-hard, just breakfast'd horror fans.

      Delete
    2. a 10am screening. that must've been coming out of that with the bright sunlight outside.

      but yeah, those screenings are one in a million and you'll be lucky if you ever get the same feeling.

      i've had a couple that came close, but nothing like with FvsJ

      Delete
    3. Yep "event" horror screenings are frustratingly rare mainly because so much of great horror is discovered and then embraced through word of mouth. I think my favorite event horror experience was opening night of Scream 2.

      Delete
  4. What a fun article! My first midnight movie was the premiere of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. I was a young lad and I went with my Dad and little brother. I can honestly say it was one of my favorite movie experiences. Sure, I enjoyed the movie. Contrary to popular opinion, I always liked those Tim Story FF movies. I like the cast and the light-hearted tone. No dark and grittyness there folks! But it was also the experience of getting to stay up way too late with the boys of my family and the random dude in full Silver Surfer costume. What a fun night.

    ReplyDelete
  5. That Rocky Horror thing is nightmare fuel Christ. I've been ask to go to them numerous times but various people but it never seen like my cup of tea. My girlfriend went to one a while ago and she said they only did the V with the lipstick. I hope that is the truth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've seen Rocky Horror at midnight one or two other times. It's never been that intense at the other screenings.

      Delete
    2. I've never seen Rocky Horror, let alone, a midnight showing of it at the Music Box. Now I never will.

      Delete
  6. "Everyone was laughing at me..."

    Nah, man, with you.

    You got off easy with the fortune teller's curse. I've had, like, thirty people I know dragged to Hell in the past five years. It's getting so I won't stand next to anyone when we're waiting for a train anymore, just so I won't be sucked down with them should a portal to the infernal regions appear. I tell them not to be a smartarse when they go in for a palm reading or to get their chakras balanced, but they do not listen.

    ReplyDelete
  7. One of my favorite college memories is when my Western Philosophy class took our professor (an elderly but super-cool guy) to see Rocky Horror at a midnight screening. He had never seen it before, and so (like me and a few others) had to participate in the "virgin" ceremony - ours was much less intense than yours, thank God. When we had our next class, our prof laughed about the experience and said "It just goes to show that tribal customs are not dead."

    ReplyDelete