Both the Nerdweb and the Monster Kids Network lit up last week when the new Universal Blu-ray set, Creature From the Black Lagoon Complete Legacy Collection, was finally released and arrived in the hands of eager fans. I know; I was one who counted this release as one of my most anticipated of the year. “Hey,” we all giggled on message boards and social media, “we will finally have Revenge of the Creature in 3-D and finally have The Creature Walks Among Us in widescreen! What a wonderful time to be alive! Nothing could possibly go wrong. Life is good.”
…oh for those innocent days.
The Creature is understandably upset by this because he too has fallen in love with Miss Dobson. An uneasy love triangle is formed. Ferguson quickly gains the upper hand as he wields a giant cattle prod and zaps the monster at every conceivable opportunity. The Creature waits for Clete and Helen to go on a date, escapes his watery enclosure, runs amok at the fun park, and tracks the romantic pair to (ironically) a seafood restaurant. What could possibly happen next?
By the way, “Amok at the Fun Park” will be the title of my autobiography.
The intrepid fans pressed on (well, actually, they pressed “play”) and were greeted by a strange split screen consisting of the left eye image and the right eye image displayed side-by side. WTF? This had never happened before. Like me, hundreds of Monster Kids took to the internet! By the time I hit my laptop, Home Theatre Forum and Blu-ray.com were already abuzz with news of the strange anomaly. It turns out that 3-D capable televisions actually have several ways of interpreting a 3-D signal; our televisions just always happened to default to the correct one EVERY SINGLE OTHER GODDAMN TIME WE HAD EVER WATCHED A GODDAMN FILM IN 3-D. By switching your viewing preference to “Side-By-Side,” you could watch Revenge in compromised, down-scaled 420p 3-D, which several HTF members were quick to point out doesn’t even meet the technical standards for Blu-ray 3-D.
It has been a long Labor Day Weekend, and so far no word from Universal.
Of course, I am upset. I was looking forward to this, paid good money for it, and received a Blu-ray “collection” consisting of one disc I already owned and a second disc with a compromised version of what was, for me and many others, the main attraction.
BTW, The Creature Walks Among Us, the third movie in the set, looks fabulous. Stay tuned as we await official word from Universal Studios.
(Thrilling to anticipate a long-awaited release that seemed design expressly to please true fans of a franchise!)
(Truly chilling to pop in a disc you’re eager to watch only to be immediately greeted by a warning, asking if you’re SURE you want to watch it… and when you choose “YES,” you’re met by something you’ve never before seen on your screen.)
BITTER PILLS: NEGATIVE 101%
(Monster Kids are hoping that Universal Studios will re-format Revenge of the Creature and send out replacement discs. I don’t think they’re going to lift a fucking finger to correct this situation. PROVE ME WRONG, UNIVERSAL.)