Jackie Earle Haley in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (2010, 95 min.) on HBO Go for the first time.Rorschach was young, really needed the money.orAs disposable/trivial as original's essential/unforgettable.
Michael Gornick's CREEPSHOW 2 (1987, 92 min.) on ConTV for the first time."Moonraker's" Holly Goodhead's topsy-turvy drive of shame.or$25K for animated interstitials... and it shows!
THE BANKER (1989, 92 min.) on Amazon Prime for the first time.Crossbow-shooting Patrick Bateman-wannabe versus seen-it-all L.A. cop.orMore Junesploitation! than SMM. R.I.P. Robert Forster.
Bliss (2018, dir. Joe Begos)Norm's hanging around the wrong crowd now.
A Nightmare on Elm street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)Sleepwalk suicide is quite normal, don’t worry.
Killer Crocodile (1989)Severin restoration as beautiful as Suspiria's.... WHY??????
A Nightmare on Elm Street Part II: Freddy's Revenge (1985)That's not how any of this works.
Shura/Demons (1971)Michael has nothing on this guys's slashing.
Hellraiser: Inferno (2000, Scott Derrickson)Pinhead doesn't care for constant intense staring
A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Warrior (1988, first viewing)...offers series’ best sequence: weightlifting cockroach kill...
LORD OF ILLUSIONS (1995) “Sam, you’ve leaped into a paranormal detective.”
May (2002)Better movie about a weirdo than Joker.
Seed of Chucky (2004, Don Mancini)Sadly John Waters melted away to soon
Lovely Molly (2011)Sometimes it's all the ambiguous horror tropes
THE HUNGER (1983) No fair using REAL vampires... Bowie.... Deneuve.
Tales of Halloween (2015)Crampton Gordon walk-on, Barbeau on the Radio
Little Monsters (2019) dir. Abe ForsytheNot far from Josh Gad's IRL persona.
The Day of the Triffids (1962)If worldwide blindness wasn't scary enough...Plants!!
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Dracula (1931)Forget the Rock, Lugosi invented smoldering intensity.
Annihilation (2018)Theater Mirror Game. Now with incendiary devices!
Night Tide (1961) No human likes sea urchin that much.
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)CinemaSins: Film has only 956 Corpses. DING!
Scream 3 (2000, dir Wes Craven)"Answer right, your girlfriend lives!" *answers wrong*
The Blob (1988)mullet beats blob, 80ies girls grieve superfast
POLTERGEIST (1982, dir. Tobe Hooper)I really used to want a pool...
DAWN OF THE DEAD (1979, dir. George A. Romero)Breaking: I only want mall movie settings.
Borderland (2007, dir. Zev Berman)Shawn Hunter loses head in Hostel ripoff.
Bad Moon (1996)Good dog sits, stays... stokes the fireplace??Or I demand a Thor, Clovis paranormal procedural
Fright Night Part 2 (1988)Welcome to...Fright...Night! For really real.OrWelcome to....Fright...Night! With interpretive dance!
The Tingler (1959)Showing people your tingler is very unprofessional.
Phantasm (1979)Where exposure to boobs helps atmospheric acclimation.
Candyman (1992)One handed Chicagoans will always frame you.
Sleepwalkers (1992)Tanya deserves better than an oedipal pussyorEven cats have cleaner teeth than Charles
Children of the Corn (1984)Real horror is home invader stranger danger
Final Destination 3 (2006, dir. James Wong)Pretty crazy Safety in the Workplace video.
Monster Party (2018, dir. Chris von Hoffman)It's like the real monster...is society.
Scream (1996)Virgin nerd is Tarantino as video clerk
Half Light (2006)Seriously, you're that impatient for a divorce?
Hell House LLC (2015) Title is vomit-inducing; jump scares soothe stomach.
Ready or Not (2019)Movie hates marriage and game nights
Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (1982)Does this haircut make me look crazy?
THE SHE BEAST (1966, dir. Michael Reeves)There are better examples of witch’s revenge.ORCold War humor does not improve it.
30 Days of Night (2007, on VUDU, with ads)More characters' self-sacrifice than commercial breaks.
Crazy Eights (2007, dir. James Koya Jones)Overqualified cast visits asylum, doesn't get out.
Blood and Black Lace (1964)"The Red Shoes" of languid proto-slashers.
The Lighthouse (2019)Häxan meets Splash written by Harold Pinter.
Storm Warning (2007)Jamie Blanks' masterpiece. Still not very good.
Prom Night (1980)Chill out Lou, don't lose your head!
Candyman (1992)"Candyman..." "Candyman..." "Candyman..." "Candyman..." "Candyman..." - "See? NothiARGH..."ORWhat color we use to paint? Candy!
NIGHT WATCHMEN (2017) It’s scary how juvenile these jokes are.
Friday the 13th Part 7: The New BloodDid this psychiatrist study under Dr. Loomis?
Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995)Suck my blood and call me Shirley!
Friday the 13th Part 3Toughest biker gang since Von Zipper's Rats
Near Dark (1987)Boy, you better not be a vampire!
"Faust" (1926)Mephisto's sword has a "tail" to tell.
My Bloody Valentine(1981) Miners valentine mine party gets the axEL.
The Final Terror (1983) Dir. Andrew Davis Welp...that's it. No more terror, guys.
"It" (1990, Dir. Tommy Lee Wallace) & "It Follows" (2014, Dir. David Robert Mitchell) & "It" (2017, Dir. Andy Muschietti)IT follows It Follows which follows IT.
Harbinger Down (2015)Ignoring the Norwegians, Russians remake The Thing
Lifeforce (1985)Hammer Title "Five Million Miles to Bush"sent from my 1985 sophomore brain
HALLOWEEN (2007) Michael’s mask is white because… white trash?
THE EXORCIST III (1990): Me and Adam Riske at age 65.
Which one is the wheelchair flasher though?Riske....?
The Forsaken (2001)Cinemax and CW present Near Dark(2001).
Corpse Bride (2005)Marvellously macabre maid marries melancholy man, mortifyingly.
Mausoleum (1983)This is exactly why I'm requesting cremation.
The Velvet Vampire (1971)Like eating a fistful of sleeping pills.
Scream (1996)Sidney's mom has got it going on
Teeth(2007) Her first time is his last time.
Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)Jason better not live any time soon...
Scream 2 (1997)What happens to Randy makes me sad.
The Thing from Another World (1951)The height of ‘50s paranoia: electric blankets.
THE FOG (1980, dir. John Carpenter)It's the perfect storm... of ghosts
FRIGHT NIGHT PART 2 (1988 dir. by Tommy Lee Wallace)I will never bowl the same again.
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988) Dir. Stephen ChiodoTurns out the real clowns....are us.
The Fog (1980, dir. John Carpenter)Horror movie heroes are so rarely weathermen.
Mausoleum (1983)Check for cavities, especially open chest ones.
Alien (1979)I’ve heard of mouth-breathers before but...
HALLOWEEN II (2009) Michael has mommy issues? That’s Jason’s thing!
Crawl (2019)Shruggin' off gators like she Tommie Frazier.
3 From Hell (2019, dir. Rob Zombie)Will Clint Howard finally win his Oscar?
Jennifer's Body (2009, dir. Karyn Kusama)I finally watched the other 101 minutes.
Monster House (2006)Nothing a few molotov cocktails can't fix.
Jennifer's Body (2009)*copy and paste of Mike's review above*
Friday the 13th Part III (1982) dir. Steve MinerShelly is the king of the incels.
Tigers Are Not Afraid (Issa López, 2017)I probably should have cried watching this.
Sleepwalkers (1992)The purrletariat rise up against their masters!