Tuesday, October 15, 2019

2019 Scary Movie Challenge Day 15


92 comments:

  1. Jackie Earle Haley in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (2010, 95 min.) on HBO Go for the first time.

    Rorschach was young, really needed the money.
    or
    As disposable/trivial as original's essential/unforgettable.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Michael Gornick's CREEPSHOW 2 (1987, 92 min.) on ConTV for the first time.

    "Moonraker's" Holly Goodhead's topsy-turvy drive of shame.
    or
    $25K for animated interstitials... and it shows!

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  3. THE BANKER (1989, 92 min.) on Amazon Prime for the first time.

    Crossbow-shooting Patrick Bateman-wannabe versus seen-it-all L.A. cop.
    or
    More Junesploitation! than SMM. R.I.P. Robert Forster.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bliss (2018, dir. Joe Begos)

    Norm's hanging around the wrong crowd now.

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  5. A Nightmare on Elm street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

    Sleepwalk suicide is quite normal, don’t worry.

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  6. Killer Crocodile (1989)

    Severin restoration as beautiful as Suspiria's.... WHY??????

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  7. A Nightmare on Elm Street Part II: Freddy's Revenge (1985)

    That's not how any of this works.

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  8. Shura/Demons (1971)

    Michael has nothing on this guys's slashing.

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  9. Hellraiser: Inferno (2000, Scott Derrickson)

    Pinhead doesn't care for constant intense staring

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  10. A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Warrior (1988, first viewing)

    ...offers series’ best sequence: weightlifting cockroach kill...

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  11. LORD OF ILLUSIONS (1995)

    “Sam, you’ve leaped into a paranormal detective.”

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  12. May (2002)

    Better movie about a weirdo than Joker.

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  13. Seed of Chucky (2004, Don Mancini)

    Sadly John Waters melted away to soon

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  14. Lovely Molly (2011)

    Sometimes it's all the ambiguous horror tropes

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  15. THE HUNGER (1983)

    No fair using REAL vampires... Bowie.... Deneuve.

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  16. Tales of Halloween (2015)

    Crampton Gordon walk-on, Barbeau on the Radio

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  17. Little Monsters (2019) dir. Abe Forsythe

    Not far from Josh Gad's IRL persona.

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  18. The Day of the Triffids (1962)

    If worldwide blindness wasn't scary enough...Plants!!

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  20. Dracula (1931)

    Forget the Rock, Lugosi invented smoldering intensity.

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  21. Annihilation (2018)

    Theater Mirror Game. Now with incendiary devices!

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  22. Night Tide (1961)

    No human likes sea urchin that much.

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  23. House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

    CinemaSins: Film has only 956 Corpses. DING!

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  24. Scream 3 (2000, dir Wes Craven)

    "Answer right, your girlfriend lives!" *answers wrong*

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  25. The Blob (1988)
    mullet beats blob, 80ies girls grieve superfast

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  26. POLTERGEIST (1982, dir. Tobe Hooper)

    I really used to want a pool...






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  27. DAWN OF THE DEAD (1979, dir. George A. Romero)

    Breaking: I only want mall movie settings.

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  28. Borderland (2007, dir. Zev Berman)

    Shawn Hunter loses head in Hostel ripoff.

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  29. Bad Moon (1996)

    Good dog sits, stays... stokes the fireplace??

    Or

    I demand a Thor, Clovis paranormal procedural

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  31. Fright Night Part 2 (1988)

    Welcome to...Fright...Night! For really real.

    Or

    Welcome to....Fright...Night! With interpretive dance!

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  32. The Tingler (1959)

    Showing people your tingler is very unprofessional.

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  33. Phantasm (1979)

    Where exposure to boobs helps atmospheric acclimation.

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  34. Candyman (1992)

    One handed Chicagoans will always frame you.

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  35. Sleepwalkers (1992)

    Tanya deserves better than an oedipal pussy
    or
    Even cats have cleaner teeth than Charles

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  36. Children of the Corn (1984)

    Real horror is home invader stranger danger

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  37. Final Destination 3 (2006, dir. James Wong)

    Pretty crazy Safety in the Workplace video.

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  38. Monster Party (2018, dir. Chris von Hoffman)

    It's like the real monster...is society.

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  39. Scream (1996)

    Virgin nerd is Tarantino as video clerk

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  40. Half Light (2006)

    Seriously, you're that impatient for a divorce?

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  41. Hell House LLC (2015)

    Title is vomit-inducing; jump scares soothe stomach.

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  42. Ready or Not (2019)
    Movie hates marriage and game nights

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  43. Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker (1982)

    Does this haircut make me look crazy?

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  44. THE SHE BEAST (1966, dir. Michael Reeves)

    There are better examples of witch’s revenge.
    OR
    Cold War humor does not improve it.

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  45. 30 Days of Night (2007, on VUDU, with ads)

    More characters' self-sacrifice than commercial breaks.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Crazy Eights (2007, dir. James Koya Jones)

    Overqualified cast visits asylum, doesn't get out.

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  47. Blood and Black Lace (1964)

    "The Red Shoes" of languid proto-slashers.

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  48. The Lighthouse (2019)

    Häxan meets Splash written by Harold Pinter.

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  49. Storm Warning (2007)

    Jamie Blanks' masterpiece. Still not very good.

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  50. Prom Night (1980)
    Chill out Lou, don't lose your head!

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  51. Candyman (1992)
    "Candyman..." "Candyman..." "Candyman..." "Candyman..." "Candyman..." - "See? NothiARGH..."

    OR
    What color we use to paint? Candy!

    ReplyDelete
  52. NIGHT WATCHMEN (2017)

    It’s scary how juvenile these jokes are.

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  53. Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood

    Did this psychiatrist study under Dr. Loomis?

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  54. Dracula: Dead and Loving It (1995)
    Suck my blood and call me Shirley!

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  55. Friday the 13th Part 3

    Toughest biker gang since Von Zipper's Rats

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  56. Near Dark (1987)

    Boy, you better not be a vampire!

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  57. "Faust" (1926)

    Mephisto's sword has a "tail" to tell.

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  58. My Bloody Valentine(1981) Miners valentine mine party gets the axEL.

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  59. The Final Terror (1983) Dir. Andrew Davis

    Welp...that's it. No more terror, guys.

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  60. "It" (1990, Dir. Tommy Lee Wallace) & "It Follows" (2014, Dir. David Robert Mitchell) & "It" (2017, Dir. Andy Muschietti)

    IT follows It Follows which follows IT.

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  62. Harbinger Down (2015)

    Ignoring the Norwegians, Russians remake The Thing

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  63. Lifeforce (1985)

    Hammer Title "Five Million Miles to Bush"

    sent from my 1985 sophomore brain

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  64. HALLOWEEN (2007)

    Michael’s mask is white because… white trash?

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  65. THE EXORCIST III (1990):

    Me and Adam Riske at age 65.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which one is the wheelchair flasher though?

      Riske....?

      Delete
  66. The Forsaken (2001)

    Cinemax and CW present Near Dark(2001).

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  67. Corpse Bride (2005)

    Marvellously macabre maid marries melancholy man, mortifyingly.

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  68. Mausoleum (1983)

    This is exactly why I'm requesting cremation.

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  69. The Velvet Vampire (1971)

    Like eating a fistful of sleeping pills.

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  70. Scream (1996)

    Sidney's mom has got it going on

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  72. Teeth(2007) Her first time is his last time.

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  73. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)
    Jason better not live any time soon...

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  74. Scream 2 (1997)

    What happens to Randy makes me sad.

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  75. The Thing from Another World (1951)

    The height of ‘50s paranoia: electric blankets.

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  76. THE FOG (1980, dir. John Carpenter)

    It's the perfect storm... of ghosts

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  77. FRIGHT NIGHT PART 2 (1988 dir. by Tommy Lee Wallace)

    I will never bowl the same again.

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  78. Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988) Dir. Stephen Chiodo

    Turns out the real clowns....are us.

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  79. The Fog (1980, dir. John Carpenter)

    Horror movie heroes are so rarely weathermen.

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  80. Mausoleum (1983)

    Check for cavities, especially open chest ones.

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  81. Alien (1979)

    I’ve heard of mouth-breathers before but...

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  82. HALLOWEEN II (2009)

    Michael has mommy issues? That’s Jason’s thing!

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  83. Crawl (2019)

    Shruggin' off gators like she Tommie Frazier.

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  84. 3 From Hell (2019, dir. Rob Zombie)

    Will Clint Howard finally win his Oscar?

    ReplyDelete
  85. Jennifer's Body (2009, dir. Karyn Kusama)

    I finally watched the other 101 minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Monster House (2006)

    Nothing a few molotov cocktails can't fix.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Jennifer's Body (2009)

    *copy and paste of Mike's review above*

    ReplyDelete
  88. Friday the 13th Part III (1982) dir. Steve Miner

    Shelly is the king of the incels.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Tigers Are Not Afraid (Issa López, 2017)

    I probably should have cried watching this.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Sleepwalkers (1992)

    The purrletariat rise up against their masters!

    ReplyDelete