PIRANHA 3D (2010, dir. Alexandre Aja)Coeds (with generous flotation devices) get schooled.
The Perfection (2019)I'm not being abused. You're just cellist.
Satanic panic I'd let AJ Bowen be my boyfriend
Dark Waters (1994)Nuns. Secluded Island. What’s not to like?
The Beyond (1981)Eye gouging and funky soundtrack? It’s Italian.
Scream 2 (1997, Wes Craven)Olyphant's awkward dance: 3rd best in horror
THE CONJURING (2013) Ocean Master’s not authorized to perform exorcisms.
Demonoid (1981)The devil kindly lends a helping hand
CARRIE (1976) Terrifying women's power filtered by two men!
"Hell Fest" (2018, Dir. Gregory Plotkin)Masked maniac, sure, but a helluva father.
THE CONJURING 2 (2016) Wise men say Ocean Masters rush in.
JeruZalem(2015) Google Glass. Facial Recognition....Facial Recognition....DEMON.
Drácula (1931; Spanish Version)Possum actors do all their own stunts
It Comes at Night (2017)Disappointed in the movie's lack of come
The Crazies (1973)Watch army bureaucracy fail in real time!
Warlock (1989)The witch hunter has many magic tools...
Dead SilenceThis was a movie that I watched.
Lake PlacidWhy would anyone cheat on Bridget Fonda?
maybe big fans of Law and order?
The Collector(2009) Ah, the trappings of home. Painful. Deadly.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988, dir. Dwight H. Little)Crazy doctor won’t leave gas attendant alone.
Soultaker (1990)Starring Joe. The Estevez Emilio even forgot.
What Lies Beneath (2000)Is he nuts? He's no nuts, He's crazy.
Blood Rage (1987)Letterbox'd, LET ME GIVE THIS FIFTY STARS!
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)Dogs really do look like their owners.
Night of the Creeps (1986)Betas suck. You should always pledge VHS.
The Omen (1976)The subtle score finally won me over.
The Return of the Living Dead (1985)I pick Quigley over Jackson any day.
The Blob (1988)blub…and then something about a mullet.
Countdown (2019)Only watched for potential Adam Riske review
I'm writing it tonight
Yesssss! My time wasn’t wasted! Haha. Can’t wait to read it!
Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)My favorite scene? Death by shadow puppets.
The Hole (2009)Not the Courtney Love biopic I expected.
Castle Freak (1995)Thumbs up and off for all-stars reuniting!
Satanic Panic (2019)This movie has a lot of heart.
Troll (1986)Two Harry Potters and one Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
The Purge (2013)Made me wanna binge on Purge movies.
Phantom of the Paradise (1974, dir. Brian De Palma)Like Rocky Horror Picture Show, but good.
The Phantom of the Opera (1925, dir. Rupert Julian)The one version where he's actually ugly.
The Changeling(1980) Knives? Chainsaws? Machete? None top the wheelchair.
AnnabelleAh, those pesky doll-based cult rituals
The Mummy's Ghost (1944)Mummy minces down slight inclines. Safety first!
The Perfection (2019)Yo-Yo Ma's probably like "Cello don't lie"
ANABELLE (2014) Movie’s barely audible, then gets REALLY LOUD!!!
Absentia (2011) dir. Mike FlanaganIt seems Mike Flanagan has a type.
The Blob (1988)I think that cotton candy's gone bad.
Countdown (2019) dir. Justin DecJoey King would've classed this thing up.
Constantine (2005) dir. Francis LawrenceHow has there not been a sequel?
ANABELE: CREATION (2017) Dumbwaiter interior is bigger than my house.
The Lighthouse (2019) Dafoe's cooking doesn't lead to living deliciously
Halloween II (2009)More of that pumpkin supper scene, please
Zombieland II: Double Tap (2019)They Murray'ed that with all the graphics.
The Funhouse (1981)Should've went for a NOSE job instead!
Dog Soldiers (2002)Twister's got flying cows? Hold my beer.
THE LIGHTHOUSE (2019);So THAT’S how you fuck a mermaid!
Halloween (1978) Dir. John Carpenter World's worst doctor shoots his own patient.
This is amazing.
The Mummy (1932)Like Hunger Games... neither suitor quite fits.
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988, dir. Stephen Chiodo)John Vernon goes out like a dummy.
The Hole (2009, dir. Joe Dante)More basements should come with fear holes.
Satanic Panic (2019, dir. Chelsea Stardust)Great use of Chekov's kill-do. Pizza's here!
Countdown (Justin Dec, 2019)Would rather die than read user agreements
Girl on the Third Floor (2019, dir. Travis Stevens)Punk wrestles with scary marbles, wall goo.
ANNABELLE COMES HOME (2019) Why’s each Annabelle movie eight hours long?
The Mummy's Tomb (1942)Perhaps the most conservative Universal Monster movie.
HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS (1988):"Good guys with guns" are ultimately ineffectual.
CURSE OF THE DEMON (1957)Karswell affably disguises his menace with manners
Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) Dir. Tommy Lee WallaceNipple sucking, the perfect cure for bereavement.
Manhunter (1986)Mann's marina patina, subpoenas his bambina, Farina
THE LIGHTHOUSE (2019, Robert Eggers)A brilliant filmmaker keel-hauls the sophomore slump.
Dead and Buried (1981)Strange old man has a death fetish.
Evil Dead 2 (1987)It's like violent Looney Tunes on LSD.
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Dead by Dawn (2011)Will be completely forgotten by breakfast time
SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE II (1987):Rockabilly Freddy Krueger. Guitar drill. Five Stars.
Phantom of the Megaplex (2000)Horror of customer service! Angry customer crowds.
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019)Great books made into a "fine" movie.
Murder Party (2007)Don't stop when chased! Pee AND run!
WolfCop (2014)Best werewolf sex scene? Certainly best song.
Hush (2016) dir. Mike FlanaganJGJ took The Newsroom cancellation pretty hard.
THE NUN (2018) Magic orbs? Portals? Do nuns play D&D?
Body Bags (1993)Don't that make your blue eye brown
Body Bags (1993)After peeping and assault Lewis declines further
The Other Hell (Bruno Mattei, 1981)Nunsploitation is a term I learned today.
Centipede Horror (Keith Li, 1982)So bad, and not even fun bad.
Fright House (Len Anthony, 1989)Hair lengths change from scene to scene.
Ready or Not (2019, Tyler Gillett + Matt Bettinelli-Olpin)Weaving nails it, right through the hand
Seven (1995)Dick shaken up by Johnson's package contents
The Happening (2008)This made me want to kill myself
Trick 'r Treat (2007)I love that cute little pumpkin guy
Bride of Frankenstein (1935)Bride kinda like Manhattan in Jason 8
Pet Sematary (2019)I don't know. Should have rewatched Sleepwalkers.
3 from Hell (2019)Not Zombie's best, but far from worst.
Peeping Tom (1960)Going to extremes for a good selfie.