Drew Goddard's THE CABIN IN THE WOODS (2011, Hulu)The Tri-Star logo's loose, bloodthirsty and pissed!orRichard Jenkins curses schoolgirls? That's so Tequila!
Paco Plaza's VERONICA (2017, Netflix) for the first time.Starts weak, ends strong. Good kid actors.
Richard Donner's THE OMEN (1976, Blu-ray)--"Sit, Ubu, sit. Good devil dog."--"Woof!"
THE LIE (2020, Dir. Veena Sud)It's murder keeping up with kids today.OrFucking kid's been watching Parent Trap again.
Hotel Transylvania (2012 - Genndy Tartakovsky) *first timeDracula won a Vinnie Jones look-alike contest.
Basket Case, Frank Henenlotter, 1982Belial cannot live on beef products alone OrHenenlotter the perfect cure after shithouse day
TRICK OR TREATS (1982, dir. Gary Graver)Halloween, with side of copious sexual harassment.
Leviathan (1989)Listen to Robocop. He knows a thing…
DAUGHTERS OF DARKNESS (1971) She shops at Bathory and Body Works.
Alive III: The Island of the Alive, dir Larry Cohen, 1987I'm divorced you know. Moriarty's got game.OrAlive Vision. I see double, four Krusty's
WEREWOLVES ON WHEELS (1971) Want crossover with Biker Mice from Mars.
Elvira: Mistress of Darkness (1988)Warning! No Social Distancing at witch trials
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) Nine...Ten...Glen's asleep again...
House of 1000 corpses (2003)Fishboy is easily Jim Halpert’s darkest prank.
Frankenstein (1931) Basically every dad's typical day in 2020.
The Hitcher (1986)Coffee might be a better strategy, Ponyboy.
Mars Attacks! (1996)Alien overthrow occurs 24 years too soon.
12 Hour Shift (2020)My nurse girlfriend kept questioning the legitimacy
LONG HAIR OF DEATH (1965) Dawning of the age of Barbara Steele.
THE FACULTY (1998) The BREAKFAST CLUB versus the BODY SNATCHERS!
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Scare Me (2020)More an actor showcase than actual movie
Scare Me (2020)Munkee hoped title was accurate. It wasn't
FADE TO BLACK (1980):“Maybe we SHOULD blame the movies, Sid...”
Scare MeDemonic pacts aren't pre-requisite on American Idol?
Tales from the Crib: American Nightmares (2018) Amazon PrimeSegments that weren't up to Hood standards?
PSYCHOMANIA (1973) Motorcycles. Satanists. Frogs. What’s not to love?
The Evil (1978)Civil War air-uh ghost/arson fetishist.
End of Days (1999, dir. Peter Hyams)He's just an ordinary Joe. Joe Schwarzenegger.
The Evil of Frankenstein (1964) Hearing "Burgermaster" for "Burgomaster" and it's hilarious
The Mothman Prophesies (2002) director Mark PellingtonMysterious monster missives makes Messing's mesothelials messy
THE STUFF (1985) Amazon subtitles don’t know “dessert” from “desert.”
BEHIND THE MASK: THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON (2006):This gag doesn’t just run. It stalks.
Jack Frost (1997) When the hell does Keaton show up?
Vanishing on 7th Street (2010)I much prefer Night of the Comet
Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988) Gizmo's drunk uncle blending Leprechaun as Gargoyle
The Curse of La Llorona (2019)She's la la la la' La Llorona
Cry Wolf (2005)Professor Jovi gives love a bad name.
Host (2020)Oh crap our Tech department was right.
The Witch (2015)Lesson: never play peekaboo with your baby.
THE HILLS HAVE EYES (1977) No, this is the best Dune adaptation.
Friday the 13th (2009)This movie is fucking just... so juicy.
The Belko Experiment (2016)Ghost John Wick becomes head of HR.
The Houses October Built (2014)Why would anyone do an extreme haunt?
The Houses October Built 2 (2017) Spike TV got rights to the sequel
The Thing (2011)Duplicate Norwegians easily spotted because excellent healthcare.
Don’t Look Now (1973)Should have scheduled The Brood for tomorrow.
Phantom of the Opera (Il fantasma dell'opera) (1998, dir. Dario Argento)Filming was wholesome father-daughter bonding time.
HUBIE HALLOWEEN (2020, dir. Steven Brill)Dumb Christmas comedy, but now for Halloween!
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)Does Freddy get bored in between dreams?
Friday the 13th (1980)Mrs. Voorhees would've chosen an Arrow release.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2Wish I could’ve been there opening night.
Christine (1983)Getting even, one piece at a time.
The Ghoul (1933)Karloff looks good with Martin Scorsese’s eyebrows
Vampires vs. the Bronx (2020)I totally get that priests Method Man.
La Casa Lobo (2017 dir. Joaquín Cociña & Cristóbal León) Chilean stop-motion horror. Mesmerizing, amorphous, unsettling.
A Blade in the Dark (1983)"Bring back 35 mm!" - the killer, probably
The Tomb of Ligeia (1964)These movies are just so fucking comfortable.
Grabbers (2012)Tight little island overrun with tentacled tourists.
Friday the 13th Part II (1981)Terry's shorts look even better in 4K!
Books of Blood (2020) Dir. Brannon Braga This was not a very good anthology.
Friday the 13th Part II(1981) Killer with attachment issues ensures dispatchment ensues
Spoorloos (The Vanishing, 1988)Loss of love, mind and ultimately, life.
Scare Me (2020) Dir. Josh Rubengreat concept. expectedly unfunny and thespian 101.
EXCESS FLESH (2015) Still better than some roommates I’ve had.
Friday the 13th part 6 (1986)The best James Bond gun barrel spoof
Phantasm (1979, Don Coscarelli)Bill Thornbury is basically Ryan O'Neal Lite.
The Stepfather (1987)Wanna see the cock of John Locke?
"Stand back and stand by." :-D
Don’t Look Now (1973)Maybe her parents should have been looking.
Hubie Halloween (Brill, 2020)Hubie not even helped by a doobie
The Haunted Mansion (2003) Dir. Rob MinkoffOdd decision to end with blood orgy.
Piranha (1978) director Joe DanteMark Jones,"I'm calling my remake 'KRILL'."
Jack Frost (1997, dir. Michael Cooney)Much better than the Michael Keaton remake.
ALL GIRLS WEEKEND (2016) At least Blair Witch had a witch.
Sleepy Hollow (1999)Bloody Roots- Jimmy Fallon's underworld house band!
Phantasm (1979)Tall man plays a mean bocce game
Color Out of Space (2020)Nic Cage being Nic Cage? Yaaaaaassss please!
Friday the 13th Part III(1982) Harpoon death? Eye didn't see that coming.
Extra Ordinary (2019)Gotta tell my driving instructor about this!
Halloween H2O: 20 Years Later2020 looks alot like Hartnett's pixie cut.
#Alive (2020)Rear Window but, like, there's fuckin zombies.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)Silly Michael, guns are not for stabbing.
Girl on the Third Floor (2019)2012 Chris Jericho happy seeing drunk Punk.
Alleluia! The Devil's Carnival (2016)The devil's trains don't run on time.
Prevenge (2016)Boxing gloves useless in a knife fight.
Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981)Jason borrowed his shirt from my dad.
VAMP (1986) director Richard WenkLit by Cundy after Axis Chemicals accident
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark (1988)Tits, quips, and an iconic poodle makeover ~
Tomb of Ligeia (1964)Cat goes all Verotika on Vincent Price
Possessor (’20, Brandon Cronenberg)Like body-horror-obsessed father, like son.
SouthBound (2015)Cyclical tale about the highway to hell
The Curse of the Werewolf (1961)Wait, who am I to care about?
Verotika (2019) w/ FThisMovie Commentary! Spider Man's new costume is definitely inspired...
Belzebuth (2017)Avoid if you happen to hate infanticide.
Books of Blood (2020)Was promised Clive Barker filth, got this