Johnny Deadline: Waxwork Records' Rob Zombie Series

 by JB

Today, we step away from the devil-may-care, laugh-in-the-face-of-death world of the moving pictures and turn our attention to 12” vinyl discs...

Uh-oh! JB has once again donned his insufferable hipster hat (IHH) and is going to wax rhapsodic about spinning records...

“Gee, that’s great, Grampa. Yes, that’s terrific. I can see it’s a vinyl record. Yes, I know what a vinyl record is, Grampa. Yes, I can hear the music. Can I just have my fucking birthday money, Grampa? Isn’t it time for your meds and your nap? Mom?!”

I recently purchased Waxworks Records' latest disc in its “Rob Zombie Presents” series: the soundtrack to the Vincent Price film The Last Man on Earth. Like other records in the series, the disc is pressed on groovy, multi-colored wax (“Zombie Splatter” in this case), features beautiful artwork on the cover and gatefold, and includes extensive liner notes on an insert booklet. The booklet that accompanies this release features Zombie’s interview with Price’s daughter Victoria. It’s a fun trip down memory lane; Victoria relates some examples of her famous father’s odd sense of humor. Spinning this latest release reminded me that I have never been disappointed by discs in this series.

The first release was White Zombie. This seems fitting as Zombie named his band after this low-budget classic beloved by rabid horror fans. Like Plan 9 From Outer Space and Night of the Living Dead, White Zombie (the movie, not the band) uses pre-existing music library cues to make up its scores. According to the edumacated ears over at the Film Score Monthly website, White Zombie actually shares one music cue with The Cisco Kid. (Zombie Vaquero!)

I tend to love scores made up of library cues. Music written for Creature from the Black Lagoon became stock cues—they later wind up in all kinds of films, including King Kong Vs. Godzilla, Dracula Vs. Frankenstein, and Women of the Prehistoric Planet. Listen closely: every so often while watching a low budget, independent film, you'll hear one of the oh-so-familiar library cues from Night of the Living Dead. Those cues have become indelibly linked to Romero’s great film, but Romero and Company went this route because it was cheaper than hiring a composer to write a full, original score. Except for the songs written by Neil Innes, the soundtrack of Monty Python and the Holy Grail was made up of cues purchased from the DeWolfe Music Library.

AN ANNOYING AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL PAUSE: In my misspent youth, I used to delight in the fact that the music used on the log flume ride at the Great America theme park in Gurnee, Illinois, was the stirring “knights’ theme” from Holy Grail!

QUIBBLE: The “Rob Zombie Presents” disc of House on Haunted Hill simply contains the entire movie soundtrack, dialogue and all. This presents an interesting conundrum: I can achieve the same effect by playing the DVD and simply facing away from the screen. On a soundtrack release, I like the music to be disaggregated, so I can enjoy only the music. The decision to present the entire soundtrack seems designed to please no one except the blind. A rare misstep.

THIS JUST IN: When I was taking the photos that will accompany this column, I noticed a strange anomaly: the cardboard jackets for House on Haunted Hill and The Last Man on Earth seemed a bit shorter than the others. (See illustration.) My lovely wife, who is so much better with spatial relationships (too much Tetris during her formative years) realized that the two shorter sleeves line up with the others... if you turn them on their sides! I guess the files were set up incorrectly, or fed into some machine the wrong way around. If you're the type of collector who would buy these discs, you're the type of collector who would notice (and be irritated by) this. Hey Waxwork, can this be corrected if the discs are ever re-pressed? Or are just the discs associated with Vincent Price actually HAUNTED?

Still, all of these releases are wonderful must-haves. I find these soundtracks strangely soothing, especially if I am busy doing something else in my office and find myself not in the mood for 1960s Pop or 1950s Exotica. Carnival of Souls is probably my favorite in this series, if only because that score is so eerie and unique. Like the other releases in the series, the disc jacket of Carnival of Souls features newly commissioned artwork that is quite beautiful in a fitfully Halloween-ish way. Because Carnival’s protagonist is a church organist, the disc is full of creepy organ cues, which I naturally associate with visiting my parent’s final resting place in the mausoleum at All Saints cemetery in Des Plaines, Illinois, the scariest place on Earth.

PRACTICAL JOKE IDEA: Here is my plan for pranking a friend. Do you know someone who is terrified of creepy organ cues? Maybe a Catholic? Here's what you do: 1) Buy one of those Christmas cards that allow you to record a brief message; 2) Remove the little "voice recorder" thingie. It’s about the size of a quarter; 3) Instead of a Christmas greeting, record as much of the Carnival of Souls score as you can; 4) Discard the greeting card; 5) Hide the recorder thingie on your friend's person when he is not looking (Shoe? Pant Cuff? Shirt Pocket? Backpack? The choices are endless.) but not before pressing PLAY; 6) Laugh like hell when your friend is visited by a mysterious and endless loop of spookiness THAT HE CANNOT STOP. I’m afraid that he will be driven quite mad. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

This new Last Man on Earth set is a tasty, two-disc package. Not only will it allow you to escape your humdrum life and pretend that you are THE LAST MAN ON EARTH for about an hour, but the 12” discs in the set are pressed to play at 45 rpm for improved fidelity. In fact, three of these albums are pressed to play at 45 rpm. Did I accidentally play the others at 33 rpm so they they were extra creepy sounding? (I am, after all, VERY OLD.) The other 45 rpm LPs are White Zombie and Spider Baby. House on Haunted Hill and Carnival of Souls both play at 33 rpm. I think with this unique feature, Rob Zombie is simply trying to keep all of us vinyl enthusiasts “on our toes.”

All of these records have given me pleasure far beyond what I have paid for them in earthly currency, and I recommend them without reservation.

Wait, did I just say “earthly currency?” What a giveaway.