Thursday, January 11, 2018

Random Thoughts on 2018 Movies (January - February)

by Adam Riske and Alejandra Gonzalez
What will be this year’s Get Out? Or Fifty Shades Darker? I think I know the answer to the last one.

The Commuter

Alejandra: Something about Literal Angel Vera Farmiga terrorizing Love Actually Angel Liam Neeson doesn’t feel natural to me. I usually wouldn’t give a crap about this kind of movie but I have to find out how they’re going to work The Nun from The Conjuring into this, since they’ve pretty much taken care of including everybody else.

Adam: I can’t wait to watch this with Mark Ahn and review it with Rob. The moment in the trailer where a CGI Liam Neeson jumps from one train to another is priceless. Plus, it has my crush everlasting Vera Farmiga (At Middleton 4Life) and SAM NEILL!!!!! Wait, Patrick Wilson too? It’s a stealth A-Team reunion!

Paddington 2

Adam: That bear is adorable. I might have to break down and see these Paddington movies. Who am I kidding? I’m never going to watch this.

Alejandra: Me before watching this trailer didn’t care at all for Paddington but me after the trailer just bought a Paddington poster from Amazon. Who knows, Riske. This could be our next Coco!

Adam: I like your optimism. Also, show me your poster receipt because I want to see proof of that purchase, girl!
Proud Mary

Alejandra: I am literally so tired of Creedence Clearwater Revival songs and any variation of them being involved in any way, shape, or form in the film industry. I want to Eternal Sunshine CCR’s existence out of the memory of anybody involved with making movie trailers. I couldn’t gather anything from this trailer except that and I’m upset about it.

Adam: Taraji P. Henson is great and the trailer is amazing. I’m just worried because Screen Gems. They don’t have very many. I’d settle for goods, let alone gems at this point.

12 Strong

Adam: I dunno. This type of stuff doesn’t make my action mojo flow. 2017 was bad enough, I’m not sure reliving events from 2001 is what I want right now.

Alejandra: I say this every time we do this column, but my interest is not even remotely piqued by war movies of any kind unless they involve an all powerful ring, especially those that I just know will be offensive in some way like this one. Not even Hemsworth can save this one for me.

Den of Thieves

Alejandra: There is nothing that I am not a fan of in this trailer, which means I’m completely on board for it. If I completely overlook the fact that there seems to be no women in the Den of Thieves universe unless they’re strippers, this is probably my most anticipated movie of the next two months besides Black Panther!

Adam: I am on-board enough for this movie that I’ll be able to get past my aversion to all things Gerard Butler and see it. It’s the power of O’Shea Jackson Jr. - he’s the best. I’m hoping this fills in my annual Smokin’ Aces winter-action-guilty pleasure spot for 2018.

Forever My Girl

Adam: I barely made it through the trailer for this. Someone save Jessica Rothe from becoming Julianne Hough. She’s too good for this! Pivot, girl!

Alejandra: Yeah, absolutely not.
Maze Runner: The Death Cure

Alejandra: What’s ironic about Death Cure is that I’d rather be dead than sit through it.

Adam: I have successfully avoided this franchise so far, and that’s saying something considering how many new releases I watch. They’re going to have to Death Cure without me. I will say, though, that I got a laugh from a perfectly timed audible sigh after this trailer played before Blade Runner 2049. That is Maze Runner: The Death Cure’s legacy to me.

Winchester: The House that Ghosts Built

Alejandra: Does this have anything to do with Supernatural?

Adam: Ugh! Of course this is from CBS Films. I’d rather sleep with someone I don’t love than see this. Hard pass.

The 15:17 to Paris

Adam: I don’t know exactly how I feel about this one. It’s based on a true story about real-life soldiers (played by themselves in the movie) who discover/thwart a terrorist plot while onboard a train. The film is directed by Clint Eastwood, who I feel is in a rut, filmmaking-wise. I’m also a bit burnt out on hero movies and the choice to not cast the soldiers with actors but instead have the actual guys reenact this event doesn’t sit well with me. Between these two, I’d rather watch 12 Strong.

Alejandra: SO weird how movies about/on trains seem to be making some sort of resurgence or something. I’ve never taken a train in my life. Have you?

Adam: Just the Metra and the CTA, but those don’t count. They’re not exactly Before Sunrise.

Fifty Shades Freed

Alejandra: I wonder, do people genuinely enjoy these movies or are they surviving on ironic viewings alone?

Adam: I don’t want to sound like a perv, but I’m probably speaking for most people in saying that these are barely about sex anymore. I thought that was the whole thing, not some boring couple and their first-world problems.

Peter Rabbit

Adam: It’s like Home Alone with rabbits? Also, it’s not healthy for Rose Byrne to just hang out with rabbits all day. I thought she was better than that. Like, if she were 28, I’d get it, but she’s a grown-ass woman.

Alejandra: I first saw this trailer before Coco and it really made me laugh, so maybe I’ll watch it. I used to love the Peter Rabbit books and I’m not so sure they’re sticking to the Peter Rabbit mythos with this one...I wonder how many angry critics we’ll see!
Black Panther

Alejandra: Yup. Yes. Absolutely. I am so thrilled about this because of what it will mean in regards of representation. I know I seem to be excited for many things simply because of that the way I was for Coco and Wonder Woman, but it’s still really exciting and I think this cast will absolutely blow it out of the water.

Adam: I like many people in the cast, especially Chadwick Boseman (Vontae Mack No Matter What) and Michael B. Jordan, and Ryan Coogler’s Creed is amazing, but I don’t think this looks great. I’ll still see it, of course, because of the talent involved, but I might just be Marvel’d out right now. This feels like an appointment for me more than a must-see. I’d rather see this cast and director in a non comic book movie. Pretty sure I’ll like this one, but not enough in the eyes of a few.

Early Man

Adam: The sliced bread joke in the trailer makes me laugh. I’ll never see this. It’ll probably be good. I’m just not much of an The last one I saw in theaters I think was Chicken Run. I saw that as a triple feature with The Patriot and The Perfect Storm. What a day.

Alejandra: I wish I was more interested in stop motion animation. Claymation? Whatever. This cast is phenomenal, though, and some of the jokes in the trailer are hilarious. I just don’t know if I can sit through it!


Alejandra: This is going to sound strange, but the story of Samson is absolutely my favorite bible story and I’m so upset at how bad this looks.

Adam: This looks like a fake trailer to me. Although it does have Rutger Hauer and Billy Zane. And it’s rare to get those two on the big screen….hmmm, I’m torn.

Adam: Even though I’m not a huge Ex Machina guy, Annihilation looks interesting and the cast (Natalie Portman, Oscar Isaac, Jennifer Jason Leigh,Tessa Thompson) rules. This should give me my February horror fix.

Alejandra: I feel like I don’t even need to say it, but I will: Oscar Isaac.

Game Night

Alejandra: The first time I saw this trailer, I will admit I laughed VERY loudly. I’m excited, why the hell not? It probably won’t be memorable, but it’ll serve as a fun night at the movies.

Adam: There are a few people in Game Night I like, but also I probably would be better off not being a first adopter for comedies this year in order to avoid many of the bad ones (there is nothing worse movie-wise than a bad comedy). Game Night is super high-concept, so I’m sure I’ll hear about how great it is at work from people who think Horrible Bosses is a classic. This has Date Night Redux written all over it.

What do you all think of the next two months of upcoming releases? Anything you are super excited for?


  1. I think 12 Strong will be watchable because of Bruckheimer. And I like horses. And Michael Shannon. And Michael Pena.

    With you on Butler in Den of Thieves. Just glad David Ayer isnt directing this because it seems like David Ayer would direct this, even though I'm not a full Ayer-hater.

    Also with you about Ex Machina. Annihilation looks awesome as long as doesn't become a caution story about technology or something or pollution or something.

  2. I’m kinda excited for Winchester. Sure, Jigsaw was not really anything at all, but after Predestination and Daybreakers, I have enough goodwill toward the Spierig brothers to at least give it a red hot go. It looks like it could be bonkers, and Helen Mirren really seems to be going all out (or at least her stunt double is). I’m on board!!

    1. Same here! I haven't seen a trailer, but the cast, the directors, and the fact that it's an original horror film all have me set to go to the theater for it.

  3. Just checked out Early Man on IMDb, and the supporting cast includes British comedians Richard Ayoade, Mark Williams, Rob Brydon and Johnny Vegas. They alone might drag me to the theater.

    When it's gonna come out in my neck of the woods, that's another matter. I'm still waiting to see The Post, The Florida Project, Coco, Three Billboards, The Shape of Water and Lady Bird.

    1. Early Man looks fun! I'm with Riske on that white bread joke. Best thing in the trailer.

    2. I'm definitely going to see this with the kids. Bonus, I love claymation, so I'm looking forward to it.

  4. Riske, stop being crazy and watch Paddington. It's about as wonderful and delightful as family comedies get.

    I'm very excited for Den of Thieves, perhaps somewhat ironically. Gerard Butler's performance and the way he is constantly speachifying the subtext is hilarious to me. I'm all on board for that stupid macho thing.

    Annihilation is everything I want. Can't wait.

    1. I bought the first Paddington for 5 bucks. I'll watch it in the next few years I'm sure.

    2. If I don't get it in by White Sox opening day then it won't happen until November.

  5. I'm with Adam on the Marvel movies. Outside of Guardians, they all seem to vanilla and familiar I can't possibly get excited for them.

  6. The 2nd Maze Runner was actually better than the first. That's good right?
    I was actually trying to nudge the family into their first watch of Maze Runner last weekend, rather than re-watching Despicable Me for the xth time. I was unsuccessful.

  7. The Maze Runner franchise keeps teasing me with Patricia Clarkson, but I have bit. I'm very excited for Proud Mary and Black Panther. And I've read and loved the series of books on which Annihilation is based, so I'm hoping I'll enjoy the movie as well.