Adam: Welcome to a special Holiday Reserved Seating. I’m Adam Riske.
Rob: And I’m Rob DiCristino.
Singin’ in the Rain sloth shower curtain. I imagine the pitch meeting for this being: “It’s funny because it’s a sloth and there were no sloths in Singin’ in the Rain! Isn’t it crazy that there’s a sloth pretending to be Gene Kelly? Isn’t classic film weird???” This is the perfect gift to give to the movie lover in your life who made you the scapegoat because FilmStruck is gone. With a Singin’ in the Rain sloth shower curtain you’re saying “I’ve been keeping score and I know what will hurt you.”
NICE: Do you have a child learning about how to balance their allowance budget? Teach them about inflation with this set of Cineplex Odeon movie posters advertising their fantastic Tuesday prices. Bait them with $3 Tuesdays and then switch in six months (the time frame is up to you ultimately; it’s your child) with a hike in price to $3.50.
When they complain, say “Forget it Jake. It’s Tuesday.” They’ll get it because you showed them Chinatown already. These beautiful posters are 27” x 40”. Frame ‘em while they’re hot!
Boondock Saints Black Ice Prayer Zippo Lighter. Currently ranked #355 among Lighters on Amazon.com, this little number can be bought together in a bundle with wick and flint cards and a generous helping of lighter fluid for only $41.86! Only buy this for someone who really loves film.
Casino Royale prop chips (Don’t forget to tip your dealer an insultingly small amount!) straight from the Montenegrin poker tables. Blast your way into a Soviet missile silo in style with this limited edition Omega Commander watch (only $1,828)! Round things out with a Universal Exports hoodie and an autographed photo of Diamonds Are Forever star Jill St. John! Tuxedo and misogyny not included.
Star Wars: The Last Jedi! Wear it ironically to show Film Twitter just how tired you are of the corporate hegemony co-opting your childhood for merchandising purposes. Star Wars used to be underground. It used to be punk rock. It used to mean something. Now it’s just a toy commercial for idiot kids, right? That’s definitely the right cultural hill to die on, right? That Ewoks were always geared toward adults? That C-3P0 wasn’t problematic until the Prequels? Act now, and we’ll include a DVD-R of that Last Jedi: Defeminized Edit.
Adam: Next week we’ll be back with our next installment in the All Pacino series covering 1995’s Michael Mann crime saga, Heat. Until next time…
Rob: These seats are reserved. Happy holidays, everyone!