Two weeks ago, while canoodling with my movie disc collection, I invented a fun game to distract me from the very real fact that my eyesight was getting worse. I named the game “Beer Fighter,” for reasons that will soon become obvious. You can read the original column (and play Round I of the game) here.
I grow old. I grow old. I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled. I shall wear white flannel trousers and walk along the beach. Do I dare to eat a peach? Quickly then, let us review the rules of play:
1. I look at a shelf full of my little movie discs.
2. WITHOUT glasses, I try to read a title. I fail.
3. I write down what I THINK is written on the case. I do my best.
4. YOU try to guess what the movie actually IS!
5. Fun! At the bottom of the column, I provide a key with the actual answers.
6. Ready? Try to guess the ACTUAL MOVIE TITLE based on my GUESS:
2. Flashpoint’s Carton of Smokes
3. A Cure for What Ails You
4. El Dopamine
5. Polanki’s Batman
7. Curse of the Cracked Pumpkin
8. Beginner’s Stain
9. Walter Becker’s “Alright, the Waiter Nods”
10. The Amateur’s Heimlich
11. Black Provolone
12. Special Angus/Three Caravans
13. Sideways Glance at the Whirligig of Tabasco
14. The Stench of Voodoo
15. The Thingmaker
16. Waitress for the Proletariat
17. What’s Up With Bill?
18. 50 Glands
20. Spoil the Pop-up Party
21. Fist Clan
22. Earl’s Bird
23. Mr. Sterling Only Knows
24. Last Cake
25. Loud and Bloody Life
Do you have a guess for each one? No? C’mon, play the game! Yes? Good. Here are the answers, i.e. the title of the real movie on the case:
2. Fleisher Brothers’ Cartoon Roots
3. Curse of the Crimson Altar
4. The Deep
5. Donovan’s Brain
6. Child’s Play
7. Bird with the Crystal Plumage
8. The Andromeda Strain
9. Werner Herzog’s Aguirre: the Wrath of God
10. The Amityville Horror
11. Buck Privates
12. Saludos Amigos/Three Caballeros
13. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow
14. That Thing You Do!
15. The Thin Man
16. Witness for the Prosecution
17. Wake Up and Kill
18. 40 Guns
20. Attack of the Puppet People
21. Fight Club
22. Easy Rider
23. Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors
25. Blood and Black Lace
I am looking forward to this game getting much weirder. How did you do on this round? Did you get them all? I thought not. Share your funniest guesses below. Do you have DVD and Blu-ray titles that you misread? Play this game with your own collection, then put your list in the comments, and let us guess. Share SOMETHING in the comments section below.