Thursday, February 25, 2016

Riske Business: Random Thoughts About 2016 Movies (March-April)

by Adam Riske
The usual mixed bag for spring. What do you think?

• I’m a Terrence Malick apologist, so despite his diminishing returns of late, I’m still interested in seeing Knight of Cups.

• I had a rough time with Olympus Has Fallen as evidenced by one of my first reviews on F This Movie! The trailer for the sequel, London Has Fallen, looks even worse with some really bad CGI.

• I didn’t want to see Zootopia until that very funny trailer came out with the sloth working at the DMV. Now I’m interested.

• Tina Fey allergy = I can’t go see Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

• I am out of my mind excited for 10 Cloverfield Lane. P.S. Is it just me or are you getting a Sigourney Weaver vibe from Mary Elizabeth Winstead these days? Like she should be a badass action star, right?
• I thought we were done with Sacha Baron Cohen! #TheBrothersGrimsby

Eye in the Sky looks like a movie made to be rented from the library.

• Not the biggest Sally Field fan, but Hello, My Name is Doris is interesting to me because it’s directed by Michael Showalter.

• Didn’t The Lobster get some festival hype? Can’t remember if it was good hype or bad hype. The premise sounds interesting at least.

• Haha. They sort of overestimated the audience’s interest in this series didn’t they? #TheDivergentSeries:Allegiant. This looks so bad that despite having a cast of actors I love (Shailene Woodley, Miles Teller, Ansel Elgort, Jeff Daniels etc.) I will never, ever see this. This is like the movie equivalent of a bad baseball free-agent contract where you’re riding out the lean later years.

• I want to run out of the theater every time the trailer for Miracles from Heaven comes on. Barf.

• Jeff Nichols is the man. I am super excited about the Spielbergish-looking Midnight Special.

• I still want to see The Program even though I heard it’s not that good. Am I the only person that still likes Ben Foster?

• I like the cast for Get a Job but this movie looks like it should have come out earlier in their careers, right?

I Saw the Light looks like the RC Cola version of Walk the Line.

• I’ll see Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but every fiber of my being is telling me this movie will not work. P.S. The photography looks dishwater ugly. I’m much more excited for Suicide Squad.
• The trailer looks terrible, but as a fan of the original I am still sort of intrigued by My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2. I’ll see it if it gets at least a 45% plus Rotten Tomatoes score. That’s my new cut-off.

• Independent horror is in a golden age so I’m definitely going to check out The Invitation.

• I’ve never seen an Amityville Horror movie (should I?) but the fact that Jennifer Jason Leigh is in Amityville: The Awakening kind of makes me want to see it.

• I didn’t see the first God’s Not Dead so I think I’m okay missing the sequel.

• I’ve been hearing about Miles Ahead for so long that I’m surprised I haven’t already seen it like three years ago. I can’t stand the Miles Davis voice that Don Cheadle is doing, though. I dunno. I probably won’t see it.

• A new Richard Linklater movie? Hells yeah! The trailer doesn’t do much for me though. #EverybodyWantsSome
• A new Mike Epps movie? I’m okay. #Meet the Blacks

• In Jake Gyllenhaal I trust. #Demolition

• In Melissa McCarthy I do not. #TheBoss

• I’ll probably see Before I Wake because it’s directed by Mike Oculus Flanagan.

Hardcore Henry looks like it can either be amazing or the most obnoxious movie of 2016. I’ll wait for people to see it and decide for me before taking the dive myself.

• I’m gonna see the hell out of Green Room. It might be the movie I’m looking forward to most this spring. Jeremy Saulnier rules!
• I totally want to see The Jungle Book. Even I am surprised by this. It’s strange. I get more excited about it with each month leading up to its release.

Barbershop was a pleasant surprise. Barbershop 2 was total ass. I don’t need a tie-breaker. I’m good. #Barbershop:TheNextCut. There are three of these movies!

• I’ll see any movie with Kevin Costner, but Criminal might be pushing it. What a ludicrous premise. Good cast though.

• I love the cast for The Hunstman Winter’s War, but I couldn’t be less interested in the subject matter.

• I want to see Keanu (with Key & Peele) like right now! It’s about time these guys got their own movie.
• I’m sort of in disbelief that the movie Mother’s Day exists. Just watch the trailer and see for yourself. Garry Marshall, have you no shame anymore?

• I’m happy that I don’t have children because it means I’m safe from having to see Ratchet and Clank. Weren’t these guys from a video game? Like a Sega game or something? It sounds familiar. I’m too lazy to Google it.


  1. Knight of Cups is wooooooeful. I love Malik too but, man, it was insanely hard to get through.

    Highly anticipating The Invitation. The festival buzz was strong and I have managed to avoid reading much about it.

    I too am really interested in what Cheadle does with Miles Ahead. From the trailer, he does have the later Davis voice down as annoying as it is. I just hope it doesn't follow the trend of some of these bad biopics that have been coming out about musicians that feel more like "E True Hollywood Stories" than movies.

    You should see The Amityville Horror and the 2005 reboot just for kicks (and Melissa George - it's not good though). The trailer for the new one looks so bad and formulaic. I have no faith.

    A few more you might want on your radar coming in April are:
    Too Late with John Hawkes (April)
    Kill or be Killed (March 1) - which from what I am hearing is a true Western Horror
    Ava's Possessions (March 4)
    Darling (April 1 (vod I believe) with Larry Fessenden and the lovely Lauren Ashley Carter who is starting to gain steam with quite a genre-fied resume.

    1. How much is Jocelin Donahue in Knight of Cups? She's my fave final girl.

    2. Oh yeah, House of the Devil girl, how about this - I don't remember her being in it at all! haha. Btw - if that's your girl put "The Frontier" on your radar as well.

    3. That sucks. In an interview she was saying she shot a bunch of KOC. I am totally anticipating The Frontier. I hope it gets a VOD release. I'm always worried that those SXSW movies will slip through the cracks.

    4. I might just not be remembering, but I wouldn't put it past Malick to cut 6 hours of footage of Donahue and replace it with 3 hours of still tree shots.

      I agree about the SXSW thing - I have a ton of festival movies in my watchlist dating back to 2010 that will probably never see the light of day.

    5. Consider The Frontier on my radar - I'm not sure I'll ever love Jocelin as much as I did in House of the Devil but I'll never not try to!

    6. She's supposedly in Furious 7 also but I cannot find her in it.

    7. At least she's on the poster for The Frontier. As long as Malick isn't directing, you're guaranteed she's in it!

    8. Huh! Makes sense with the Wan connection but yeah, I just watched that last night and didn't see her. She plays "Advisor" - wonder if she's in the scene where they're planning the God's Eye heist...

    9. She's in a couple of movies on Netflix that have been sitting in my queue for a long time. I might have to do a Joc D Film Fest sometime soon.

    10. Update: Just watched Kill or be Killed. Meh. Not really a "true Western Horror" as I heard it described. It's definitely a Western kind-of Horror but it's got an odd kind of light (?) vibe to it that I wasn't feeling. It's also too long for what it is. I think it will have a following though as it's just "odd" enough. The sound design was good and for the budget it was well shot. I didn't dislike it, but I wasn't crazy about it.

  2. Sorry, had some issues with multiple posting there:

    - I can barely stay awake through the trailer for London Has Fallen. I'll probably watch The Other Side of the Door and/or Zootopia that week.

    - 2nd week of March, 10 Cloverfield Lane is priority, followed by Brothers Grimsby. No interest in any of the other wide releases there.

    - 3rd week of March is a bust for wide releases.

    - Final week of March, I'll watch Batman v. Superman but only because I don't have to any support for it by actually paying money.

    - First week of April Collide is supposedly releasing but I haven't seen any U.S. trailers for it. I'd watch it just for Hoult, Kingsley, and Hopkins though. Not sure how wide a release Everybody Wants Some is getting that week, but like you I'm more interested in it because of Linklater/spiritual sequel to Dazed and Confused as opposed to anything shown in the trailer. Failing that, Amityville I guess, because I'm not the target audience for God's Not Dead 2.

    - Week 2 of April is either PG-13 horror movie, bland looking Melissa McCarthy movie, or Hardcore Henry which will either be fun or incredibly tedious after 5 minutes. Hopefully I get Demolition in.

    - Week 3 is Jungle Book, with Criminal as the runner up. Green Room and Sing Street both look to have some potential (limited release for both I think).

    - Week 4 is obviously The Huntsman: Winter's War. Chastain, Blunt, and Theron in one movie (sure Hemsworth is good too).

    - Week 5 is of course Keanu. Ratchet & Clank is a long running Playstation franchise. I have no interest in the movie personally. I'm not going to watch a trailer for Mother's Day, but nice try.

    1. I forgot about Sing Street. I'm very interested in that one.

  3. Knight of Cups - ok for DVD

    London Has Fallen - perfect for DVD

    Zootopia - Nope

    Whiskey Tango Foxtrot - It´s a comedy, so surely no

    10 Cloverfield Lane - Absolutely in the first week of release...and you´re right with that Sigourney Weaver vibe

    #TheBrothersGrimsby - Comedy, Sasha Baron Cohen, No way I will watch that, despite starring Mark Strong

    • Eye in the Sky - Looks like a TV movie, and Gavin Hood made shitty Wolverine and shitty Ender´s Game, so nope

    Hello, My Name is Doris - seems to be perfect for watching while ironing

    The Lobster - got a lot of good vibe, maybeon the big screen, surely on DVD

    TheDivergentSeries:Allegiant - More to watch while ironing.

    Miracles from Heaven - surely not watching religious propaganda, not even while ironing...

    Midnight Special - as soon as possible

    The Program - on DVD, although I like Ben Foster very much

    Get a Job - another comedy, so no thanks

    I Saw the Light - on DVD, maybe after finally watching
    Walk the Line ;-)

    Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice - of course but with low expectations. I’m also much more excited for Suicide Squad.

    My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 - no way

    The Invitation - yep, sure

    Amityville: The Awakening - another one for DVD

    God’s Not Dead - No way ever will I watch that

    Miles Ahead - on DVD and only because of Don Cheadle

    EverybodyWantsSome - Yes, I´m on board

    Meet the Blacks - Nope

    Demolition - Of course, in Jake Gyllenhaal I trust, too.

    TheBoss - In Melissa McCarthy I do not, too.

    Before I Wake - yes, because it’s directed by Mike Oculus Flanagan.

    Hardcore Henry - maybe on the big screen

    Green Room - yes, as soon as possible

    The Jungle Book - No, doesn´t excites me the least bit

    Barbershop:TheNextCut - No, as with the first ones, I´ll pass

    Criminal - Well, yes, because I’ll see any movie with Kevin Costner

    The Hunstman Winter’s War - maybe on the big screen, but DVD is more likely

    Keanu - Comedy - No

    Mother’s Day - Surely no

    Seems like I don´t have to go to the movies very much during those months.

  4. The first trailer 10 Cloverfield Lane has gotta be one of the best trailers ever (having MEW in it definitely doesn't hurt) - I've watched it like 10 times and I generally don't watch them at all. I too am super-pumped.

    I'd second Chaybee and say the first one and the remake (especially if you're into sexy bearded Canadians (ahem)) are totally worth watching. The original sequel is worth watching if you're into incest and the original sequel's sequel is worth watching if you're a Meg Ryan completist. Those are the only ones I've seen.

    And yeah, everything I've heard about Green Room has been great and I'm already expecting it to be in my Top 10 for the year.

    1. My favorite sexy bearded Canadian is Tommy Chong.

    2. Marketing companies should study the "10 Cloverfield Lane" trailer. It has great momentum, gives the basic premise, builds intrigue but doesn't seem to give anything away. I love it.

  5. I feel bad that 10 Cloverfield Lane is the only movie that has cleared my meh-radar. There are others on your list that I will see, but none that I am currently excited for.

  6. Is there a working female comedian that you don't hate?

    1. No I only like non-working female comedians

  7. I probably shouldn't want to see "The Jungle Book," but I totally do. I am, however, one of those people bothered by the choice of actors. None of those recognizable voices sound right coming from those near-photorealistic animals.

    You know who would be a good Baloo? John Goodman.

  8. I probably almost hurt myself laughing as much as I did at the sloth Zootopia trailer. I sure hope the movie itself can manage to be that consistently funny and clever.

    1. Also, I'm totally in for any new Linklater or Gyllenhaal movie!

  9. Just saw the trailer for Demolition for the first time last night. It moved right onto my most anticipated list.

    I'm still a fan of Ben Foster. Glad to see he's still getting work.

    That DMV scene for zootopia totally sold me too.

    I work a block away from the public I rent every movie from the library.