by Rob DiCristino
Rob: Welcome to Scary Reserved Seating. I’m Scary Rob DiCristino.
Rob: Oh, sorry. Scary Adam Riske is on assignment this week. It’s just you and me, kids. Let’s talk.
1. I’m proud to say I’ve now completed my runs though the Big Three slasher franchises. I did all of Friday the 13th in a weekend (don’t do all of Friday the 13th in a weekend), which means I can’t give you too many details about any one film. I remember the guy on the roof who got his head punched off, and I remember Terry in Part 2 (#HorrorsGreatestShorts). I remember Crispin Glover and the movie where Tommy Jarvis was played by Corey Feldman and therefore not useless. And Joey. Always Joey. The Halloween series is fine. I know Part 6 is a train-wreck, but I actually thought it was the only one of the later sequels really trying something. Similarly, I think the Nightmare on Elm Street series was my favorite because it took the most chances. I really didn’t mind Freddy’s Revenge that much; I think it’s the only one that bothers extending the Freddy metaphor in an interesting way. The Dream Child held my attention, too, probably because it went so far off the goddamn rails. Jason X is easily the best film of them all, though. Just kidding. Maybe. What do you think, Adam?
Rob: Adam agrees with me!
Hellraiser. Got it? Okay. Leave it in the comments:
a. Fright Night/From Dusk Till Dawn
c. Ringu/Rosemary’s Baby
d. What We Do in the Shadows/You’re Next
e. The Shining/Silent Hill
Rob: Cool game, right Adam?
Rob: This blows.
4. I’m coming to the conclusion that I’m never going to like scary movies as much as I like Scary Movie Month. There are so many new names in the comments! I love scanning the seven-word reviews for everyone’s trends and habits; Adam Riske is hitting late ‘90s horror with a vengeance, for example, and it feels like a lot of people opened their month with The Funhouse (RIP T-Hoops). F This Movie! is great all year round (seriously, those of you who only joins us for October should hang out more often), but Scary Movie Month feels like the one time of year we all really roll up our sleeves and get to work. We all have our little projects and homework assignments, those gaps in our knowledge we’re eager to close and those titles we scrawled on post-it notes in August to remind ourselves for later. As a person who didn’t grow up on horror, it’s been great to learn so much about everyone’s tastes and to be there for your first-time viewings. It’s also super fun to explain this whole thing to outsiders. It’s one of the few things we do that they actually understand. They’re all, “I’m trying to think of a scary movie to watch on Halloween.” And I’m all, “What about the other 30 days? YOU’RE SO FAR BEHIND!”
f. Scream/Shaun of the Dead
g. Alien/An American Werewolf in London
h. Tremors/Tucker and Dale vs. Evil
i. Eraserhead/Evil Dead
j. Pieces/Planet Terror
Keep writing those reviews! Happy Scary Movie Month! These seats are reserved!