Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Riske Business: Am I Wrong?

by Adam Riske
Here are 50 things that have been on my mind this year at the movies. Let me know if I’m wrong or if I’m on to something.

Am I wrong or did America let America down by not getting behind Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit?

Am I wrong or does Kevin Hart need to be stopped?

Am I wrong or was Devil’s Due not THAT bad?

Am I wrong or is Labor Day a perfectly acceptable time waster?

Am I wrong or is Miles Teller awesome?

Am I wrong or is my inbox white hot?

Am I wrong or is Jake Gyllenhaal the most interesting actor working today?

Am I wrong or was Muppets Most Wanted maybe the funniest movie of the year?

Am I wrong or was the soundtrack to Divergent actually very good?

Am I wrong or is saying Marvel is death to the film industry like so 15 minutes ago?
Am I wrong or is Steve Coogan the funniest person in movies today?

Am I wrong or is Kevin Costner a national treasure?

Am I wrong or is Heaven for real?

Am I wrong or does no one see Disney Nature movies?

Am I wrong or does Cameron Diaz have the worst taste in scripts ever?

Am I wrong or was The Amazing Spider-Man 2 just as bad as Batman & Robin?

Am I wrong or is Rose Byrne no longer underrated and is now just appreciated?

Am I wrong or is Godzilla (2014) as bad in its own right as much as Godzilla (1998) was?

Am I wrong or does Edge of Tomorrow also have an outside chance of making your top 10 list this year?

Am I wrong or does Shailene Woodley need to grow out her hair again?
Am I wrong or did Obvious Child deserve a bigger audience?

Am I wrong or did How to Train Your Dragon 2 deserve to underperform?

Am I wrong or is Begin Again good because the soundtrack is so good and the soundtrack should be considered part and parcel of that particular movie?

Am I wrong or does Boyhood have some problems despite being excellent for the most part?

Am I wrong or is Jason Segel now a version of himself that he would have made fun of back in the day?

Am I wrong or is Zach Braff over?

Am I wrong or was Guardians of the Galaxy much better on a second viewing?

Am I wrong or should I turn the music down but turn the heat up?

Am I wrong or is Into the Storm the most NASCAR-y movie of the year?

Am I wrong or is Zoe Kazan also growing on you?
Am I wrong or do you love grumpy, old Harrison Ford in an ironic way?

Am I wrong or is this Chloe Grace Moretz thing not gonna pay off for us?

Am I wrong or did you also think a Forrest Gump IMAX re-release was a bad idea?

Am I wrong or has The Drop been growing on you since you’ve seen it?

Am I wrong or did you kind of like Guy Lapointe in Tusk?

Am I wrong or is Denzel Washington slumming in The Equalizer?

Am I wrong or did The Boxtrolls also put you to sleep?

Am I wrong or was Annabelle not as bad as the reviews indicated?

Am I wrong or do you feel like you missed something because you didn’t love Gone Girl?

Am I wrong or does Dracula Untold, now that it’s been released, have to change its name to Dracula Told?
Am I wrong or is Melissa McCarthy the Kevin Hart of female comedians?

Am I wrong or does Nicole Kidman only make movies that no one sees?

Am I wrong or do you find it weird that many people have chosen Interstellar as the movie to finally decide to turn on Christopher Nolan?

Am I wrong or does Disney need to stop killing off so many family member characters?

Am I wrong or does The Theory of Everything and The Imitation Game look unwatchable? Same with Unbroken.

Am I wrong or is Steve Carell’s Foxcatcher nose annoying and you don’t believe him as that character for a second in that trailer?

Am I wrong or does the trailer for Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas scare you?

Am I wrong or do you want to see the cast of The Hunger Games in a movie that is not The Hunger Games?

Am I wrong or did Horrible Bosses not need a sequel?

Am I wrong or do you have the sneaking suspicion that the last Hobbit movie might be good due to low expectations?

24 comments:

  1. Am I wrong or is Godzilla (2014) as bad in its own right as much as Godzilla (1998) was?
    Godzilla (2014) wasn't what I personally wanted from a Godzilla movie, but it wasn't a completely bad movie. Conversely, Godzilla (1998) was a bad movie. Splitting hairs, I know.

    Am I wrong or did How to Train Your Dragon 2 deserve to underperform?
    HTTYD2 did enough world building to make me interested in the next one. Benefit of the doubt until the third movie comes out - especially if they end with an explanation as to why dragons are no more (as initally planned by the author of the books).

    Am I wrong or did The Boxtrolls also put you to sleep?
    I personally loved The Boxtrolls.

    Am I wrong or does Disney need to stop killing off so many family member characters?
    Not wrong. Lazy narrative shorthand. It didn't work for me in Frozen either.

    Am I wrong or should I turn the music down but turn the heat up?
    If your food is anything like your music, I suggest you turn it down!


    Your mind sounds like a wondrous and enchanting place, Mr Riske. Love your work :-)

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  2. Excellent! I would answer each of your questions, but I keep getting confused with what my "yes" and "no" would actually be meaning....

    Funny write up, Riske.

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  3. You ARE wrong. Godzilla (2014) is much worse than Godzilla (1998). Godzilla (1998) was derivative, lame, dumb, unfunny, etc. but at least it tried to deliver on its promise of entertainment. Godzilla (2014) is an overly serious, pretentious, dull, incompetent movie that actively slaps Godzilla/giant monster movie fans in the face. Also FORD BRODY.

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    Replies
    1. Wait, I thought his name was Indiana Jaws.

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  4. *shakes head at Amazing Spider-Man comment and quickly hides face*

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  5. I either haven't seen the source or whole-heartedly agree with just about everything on your list with a couple of exceptions:

    You're wrong - Melissa McCarthy's soul is tortured by what she's been forced to become - I can see it in her eyes. Kevin Hart still thinks he's doing us all a favour.

    You're wrong - Kirk Cameron is a saint for making a movie that women can take a break from cooking and cleaning and decorating and making me a sandwich, to go see how lucky they are to be cooking and cleaning and decorating and hey, while you're up, go make me a sandwich.

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  6. Godzilla 98 is the lesser of two evils, Guy Lapointe is awesome, and fuck Kevin Hart/Melissa Mcarthy.

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  7. "Am I wrong or is Zoe Kazan also growing on you?"

    I rewatched Ruby Sparks last night and had it confirmed that I like Zoe Kazan.

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    Replies
    1. I liked her in The Pretty One and she's really good in What If.

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  8. Jake Gyllenhaal and Miles Teller are both awesome, Edge of Tomorrow not only has a great chance of making my top 10, but very likely the top 5, I couldn't care less about Zach Braff at this point, and Guardians of the Galaxy WAS better the second time, after still being pretty good the first time.

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  9. Very funny as always Riske ;)

    BUT

    Am I wrong in saying the most important question was not on your list. The question we all need to debate. The burning unanswered question by all F heads.

    Is Satans little helper actually better than Halloween?

    Ive still not seen it yet. Soon I hope


    Also I just watched Heaven is for real. A strange little heart lifting film that might be quite endearing or might also possible be just pants? Ive not yet decided....

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    Replies
    1. Satans Little Helper is not better than Halloween. I just like it more/would rather watch SLH more than Halloween.

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    2. Fair point. ;)

      Ps. I just bought Wolfcop on bluray with the money you saved me from not watching the Dumber too film. Cheers

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  10. Am am I wrong or do I smell the standup go to of Foxyworthian proportions!

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  11. Agreed on FoxCatcher. Everyone in that movie has fake lumps on their heads, prosthetic noses or rubber cauliflower ears. I don't know if I can get past all of that to enjoy the movie. Carrell and his nose would've made a better Gargamel.

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  12. I wish Edge of Tomorrow made a top ten list. I really liked it, but I actually think Tom Cruise hurts the movie.

    Zoe Kazan would be more appealing if I didn't immediately associate her with the Dano.

    I liked Melissa McCarthy in St. Vincent.

    I am looking forward to The Imitation Game, although I suspect that Enigma (2001) might be better.

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    Replies
    1. How do you think he hurts the movie? I'm super curious.

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    2. Tom Cruise is always TOM CRUISE, but that is true for every movie that he's in, right? I just think that his TOM CRUISE-ness works in the Mission Impossible movies because Ethan Hunt is supposed to be this know it all badass. The TOM CRUISE-ness doesn't work in Edge of Tomorrow as well, because he's supposed to be more vulnerable (really kind of an idiot at the beginning). That said, and I know this will sound weird, but Cruise does a good job actually. I think he does a credible job being a conniving shyster to grow and develop into what he is at the end. I guess his movie-star presence just kinda drowns out his actual acting, for me. Still enjoyed the movie a lot, though.

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  13. Me too Mark


    I liked Tom in Edge of tommorow. And also in The Reacher movie. Ive actually come around on Tom and seem to like him more than I used to. Ive have no idea why. And I have read all the Lee Child books too, when I first found out Tom was to play Reacher I almost felt sick, like a favourite character in books I love is going to be ruined but somehow for me he pulled it off. Very surprisingly

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  14. I saw the trailer for Saving Christmas before Gone Girl (not sure what those two audiences have in common but whatever) and was amazed, offended, angered, and very frightened. And now it's playing at the theater down the street.

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  15. I love this Adam, I immediatley want to do my own list for fun! I agree with you on How to train your dragon 2, I have many problems with it. Have you read Tasha Robinson's article on The Dissolve? (We’re losing all our Strong Female Characters to Trinity Syndrome) It really put a finger on my problem with it. Boyhood does have flaws, I loved/ love it but it does. The Disney point... this is most fairytales since even dated back to the middle ages (BA Special study module in fairytailes haha) have this trope so you chose now to say that it should stop? I think that's just part of it by now. Forrest Gump in IMAX?! Hahaha! The wizard of Oz in IMAX was magical. But no to Forrest Gump imax!

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